IDEK What I'm Doing Anymore

River is suffering because his grandfather’s mental health is going. But then the amount of trust he has in his relationship with Louisa takes a minor *but thematically important* hit

Then he has to fake his own death which tbh is a big step. He’s never had to do this before, but he has to man up.

He drops his grandpa with Standish, except he doesn’t tell her anything because he can’t trust her. He can’t trust anyone.

But every clue forces him to relive some of his most painful memories. He can’t talk to David about any of them because someone is trying to kill him. Even if they could talk, he’s not all there.

The deeper he gets, the more isolated he becomes. Until he has to ask the Head Dog for help, but it’s too late and he’s face to face with his dad!

Which by the fucking way !! was one of the most insane conversations to ever exist in the history of the show.

So our emotionally dead River has to face down his dad in a very candid conversation. Here’s the man who birthed you, who no one ever really talked about, because it turns out he was fucking everybody to build his own murderous, super spy kid force.

Cue existential! River. Is he a spy because of his grandfather? Or is part of his genetic makeup due to this downright horrible person who’s masterminded terrorist attacks?

But then Louisa is helping him fish the grenade out of his hoodie, even if he thinks he needs to do it alone. Even Flyte has proved reliable in helping when everything goes to shit.

Then River does the spy thing that he’s actually kind of good at, but now it’s tainted. There’s a temptation aspect of discovering how good he could be if he didn’t care. But he does. River cares for others even when he thinks no one cares for him.

So he breaks his promise to David and puts him in a home. (I SOBBED thru that whole scene) He basically buries the last of his family. His mom fucked off to wherever, like she has been his whole life. His dad tried to kill him and has since been arrested. His grandfather barely remembers him and can’t be trusted to look after himself.

I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks

I complete the list