Heading for Higher Ground

I switched majors last year and all I can think about now is how much happier I am, how much I actually enjoy looking at the classes that I get to take for my program. And yet, it’s funny, because instead of appreciating how much more I am enjoying life as a student, how much better my grades are, how much hope there is for my future, all anybody wants to ask me is, “So... how many years until you graduate?” Why can’t anybody focus on how much less my mind wanders after class to the fact that I could easily step in front of the bus instead of having to go to school only to be disappointed in myself again. Focus on how much less I think about stuffing my head into the oven to make the voices of failure go away. How much less it physically pains me to realise that I’ve actually woken up, every damn morning. My life is good now. I am finally on a path where I can see my hand in front of my face, no fog, no distractions. I don’t need a constant reminder that my classification of good, for you, is only good enough.