jeff goldblum is the type of guy who gets mistaken for gay because he’s jewish. nathan lane is the type of guy who gets mistaken for jewish because he’s gay. stanley tucci is the type of guy who gets mistaken for gay because he’s a mild-mannered italian, which is jewish. seth meyers gets mistaken for jewish because of everything about him. zachary levi gets mistaken for jewish because everyone wants him dead. tom cruise gets mistaken for gay because he is.

the shrinkage of streaming tv seasons to 8 or even 6 episodes have been hell on pretty much every genre of show except, weirdly enough, horror, which is THRIVING. what would once have been a freaky little 90 minute movie is now an insane 5 hour masterpiece full of bomb ass shit and I am here for every nasty second of it.

imagine being trapped on a small town island your entire life and your high school frenemies in their cold shoulder tops and statement necklaces still treat you exactly the same even though you’re in your 40s. no one wants to come to your party except your coworkers who kind of have to. also there’s a possessed book or whatever but that’s barely horrifying compared to the rest of it

I love Tom Loftis so much this man has been living in a horror movie and is fully aware he’s in a horror movie and yet he categorically REFUSES to be in a horror movie