SARCASTIC // ASSHOLE

“until dawn” sentence starters pt 1  .   always feel free to change pronouns  /   wording ! 

001.   ❛  i’m going to murder his fucking face off  !   ❜

002.   ❛  hashtag  ,  there’s a freaking ghost after us  !    ❜

003.   ❛  this is super awkward  .  ❜

004.   ❛  what’s cookin’   ,  good lookin’  ?  ❜

005.   ❛  let’s party like we’re fucking pornstars  !  ❜

006.  ❛  what the hell have you done to them  ?   ❜

007.   ❛  just point the spray - can at the lighter and FWOOSH  !   ❜

008.   ❛  go suck an egg  !    ❜

009.   ❛  you think you can handle that  ?   ❜

010.   ❛  at least he knows how to treat a lady  .  ❜

011.   ❛   understand the palm of my hand  ,  bitch  !    ❜

012.   ❛   can we order pizza  ?  ❜

013.   ❛   you had so many people who cared about you  ,  who were willing to help   .  ❜

014.   ❛   i’ve seen what’s down there  .  ❜

015.   ❛   i was thinking they could use some alone time  .   ❜

016.   ❛   you couldn’t buy a loaf of bread with your skanky ass  !  ❜

017.   ❛   you couldn’t lift a goddamn finger to help someone else  .   ❜

018.   ❛   let’s go  ,   you fucked up son of a bitch  .  ❜

019.   ❛   he almost shot me  !  ❜

020.   ❛   now that was exciting  ,  wasn’t it  ?  ❜

021.   ❛   once again  ,  brother  ,  you’ve outdone us all  .  ❜

022.   ❛   i should’ve paid more attention in climbing class  .   ❜

023.   ❛   please tell me you’re gonna take a vow of silence  .  ❜

024.   ❛   it’s not gonna happen   .  ❜

025.   ❛   jesus hot sauce christmas cake  !  ❜

026.   ❛   we’re going to have sex  !  and it’s going to be hot  !  ❜

027.   ❛   whatever you say  ,  darling  !   ❜

028.   ❛   stay out of it  ,  you dumb oaf  .   ❜

029.   ❛   jesus  ,  fuck  ,  shit  !  ❜

030.   ❛   i have found my true calling  .  ❜

031.   ❛   i know you’re all probably worried about me  .  ❜

032.   ❛   you are a coward  . ❜

033.   ❛   maybe we should start with a little  ,  you know  ,  making out and see where it goes from there  .  ❜

034.   ❛   fuck nuggets  .  ❜

035.   ❛   godspeed  ,  pilgrim  .  ❜

036.   ❛   that bitch is on crack or something   !  ❜

037.   ❛   what in god’s name are you wearing  ?  ❜

038.   ❛   i’m bad  !  i’m a badass  !  ❜

039.   ❛   well  ,  it’s definitely creepy down here  .  ❜

040.   ❛   hook  ,  line  ,  and sinker for every little stinker  !  ❜

041.   ❛   i didn’t really figure you for the glass half empty type  .  ❜

042.   ❛   i feel like someone’s watching us  .   .   .  ❜

043.   ❛   maybe if we’re lucky   ,  she’ll follow us out here and get eaten by a bear  .  ❜

044.   ❛   do you intend to continue with this elaborate self indulgence  ?  ❜

045.   ❛   when are you going to take her to the bone zone  ?  ❜

046.   ❛   nice shootin’  ,  tex  .  ❜

047.   ❛   can’t we all just get along  ?  ❜

048.   ❛   why do you hate my jacket  ?  ❜

049.   ❛   i had it under control  .  hundred percent  .  hundred and ten  .  ❜

050.   ❛   i am such an idiot  ,  i was so dumb  !  ❜

051.   ❛   get away  !  get away from me  !  ❜

052.   ❛   i’d like to focus on how we’re going to get the fuck out of here  ,  please  .  ❜

053.   ❛   i made you believe in the world i created  !  ❜

054.   ❛   the past is beyond our control  .  ❜

055.   ❛   you did the right thing  .  ❜

056.   ❛   you just won’t listen to me  ,  and things seem pretty fucked up  .  ❜

057.   ❛   wait a second  ,  are you saying we should break in  ?  ❜

058.   ❛   famous last words  .  ❜

059.   ❛   we’re freezing our buns off out here  .  ❜

Requested by Anonymous

“When was the last time you slept?” 

“What? Sorry, I’m having trouble focusing…” 

“…What was I doing?” 

“What are you doing?” 

“Did you see that? No?” 

“I haven’t slept in almost __ days.” 

“You look absolutely terrible.” 

“I’m so exhausted I don’t feel tired anymore.” 

“I don’t think I can stand up without things spinning.” 

“You need to go to bed.” 

“I can’t sleep.” 

“You aren’t making any sense.” 

“…What?” 

as requested by anon. Enjoy and feel free to make any changes !

Sexy

“Feel like another round?”

“You were great last night…”

“Wow, you look even better in the daylight.”

“My clothes look better on you than they do on me.”

“I had no idea you were into that stuff…I’m glad I found out.”

“We didn’t even get to use the toys last night.”

“You should play with my hair some more…”

“I don’t remember ever having this many hickeys. But I don’t mind.”

“That was a workout.”

“I don’t know your name. But you can share it with me, so I know what to scream this time.”

“The fun doesn’t have to end.”

“I think I can convince you to stay…”

“Don’t pretend like you’re asleep. Should I find a way to wake you up?~”

“We could order pizza and just stay like this all day.”

“I love your bedhead.”

Awkward

“Oh no…what did we do?”

“Hi! You need to leave.”

“I’m sorry…who are you?”

“Ugh…I drank so much.”

“I can’t believe I did this again.” / “I can’t believe we did this again.”

“Where are your clothes?”

“…I’m sore in such weird places.”

“Hey, sorry! I’m gonna go. Right now.”

“You didn’t seem like you were having such a bad time last night.”

“Someone’s coming. Is that your mom/partner/spouse/etc.?”

“I think this was a mistake.”

“*trying to sneak out while half-dressed*”

“Your foot is in my face.”

“Did we use protection?”

“Whoa, when did you get this?”

“Who did this to you?”

“Hold still— I need to clean it.”

“I’m supposed to believe this was an accident?”

“Damn— I’d hate to see the other guy.”

“Does this hurt when I touch it?”

“What the hell, ___? Another fight?”

“What the hell happened to your face?”

“Why are you so calm about this? You’re really hurt.”

“I think your arm is broken. It’s not supposed to bend like that.”

“Here, let me help you with that.”

“You’re bleeding a lot. Too much. Apply more pressure. I’m calling an ambulance.”

“Did you think I was gonna leave you like this?”

“Instead of helping you, they ran off? What an asshole.”

“You need to be more careful. You keep getting hurt like this and you’ll put yourself out of commission.”

“Let me grab the first-aid kit. Don’t move.”

“So, do you wanna explain to me what the hell happened?”

“You look really pale. Sit down. I don’t need you fainting before I get this stitched-up.”

“I’m not blaming you, I’m just saying this looks awfully suspicious.”

“How many of them were there? This doesn’t look like one man’s doing.”

“Sit still. I need to clean this before it gets infected.”

“Wiggle your fingers. I need to make sure it’s not broken.”

“This is gonna hurt. A lot. But it’ll be quick. I need to pop it back into place.”

“I told you not to act recklessly like that. You might think you’re protecting me, but you’re gonna get yourself killed if you keep jumping in like that.”