can't be tamed

Kill Story: Arlene Vs. Huntress Alliance

"I don’t, want to get out of here that is. I mean." Sigh. Fuck me. "Trust me, I wish we could just stay here." 

I sighed and ran my hands over my face, “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so blunt, but it’s just the truth, and if that’s how you feel, that I’m lying to you, then I have no choice to respect that. I wish you could see that you are likable, and that there are no ulterior motives behind my words. And come on, you really think scars bother me?” I paused. I was being honest there. I know I can’t change how she perceives what I said and fighting it would be moot. THAT I know is a battle I can’t win.

"Why now?" I asked, speaking my mind. He had a whole week to tell me he enjoy my company but instead he decided to tell me in an elevator, hours before we enter the arena to hunt each other down. Was this some sort of scheme to try and weaken me down before the arena. That would make perfect sense. I mean, I knew he wasn't a trained career but he was from a career district. For all I know he was allying with them and this was part of their plan to take me down. 

I actually hoped that wasn't the reason. 

A part of me wanted his words to be genuine but no. That was a weakness and I was not weak. I did not come this whole way just to soften up to some kid that I would hunt down. I would kill him without mercy and I would enjoy it. 

At least that's what I'm telling myself. 

I sat down across from her with a embarrassed smile and shrugged, “I’m glad you think so.” I paused, “And I only meant that in a…flattering way. I mean,” I sighed and leaned my head back against the elevator wall. Man I suck at this. This is the last time she and I’ll see each other and be able to *enjoy* each others company, might as well be honest. What’s the worst that can happen, I won’t see her again? She’ll try and kill me?

"I just, think you’re a really cool chick and I like being around you. Ya know, I like you for who you are; I dig your personality, despite this shit-show we’re in I’ve enjoyed spending time with you…also you have a really cute smile and I like seeing you laugh." I paused to gauge her reaction, "That’s the truth whether you want to believe it or not. No hidden intentions, just..that’s me being honest."

And then everything goes downhill. 

The smile on my face fades as he speaks. No one has ever said anything like that to me. I can't help but frown as he says he likes me for--well, me. I am a monster. Someone that takes joy in other pain.

I am not someone that people can like. It's just not--right. I know I should feel flatter by his words, maybe even moved and maybe a part of me does. But how can I reply to something that is most likely a lie but yet sounds so--great. 

Clenching my teeth I watched him get up and push the emergency button once more. After a moment I raise to my feet and ball my hands into a fist. 

"You know for someone that says they enjoy my company you sure do you want to get out of here." I comment dryly at him continuing to press the emergency button.

How can I believe that the only reason he has been by my side so much is because he likes my attitude. Honestly, right now I would have prefer him to tell me he was with me for more powers or because he wanted to get close to me so he could take me down. That would have been easier to react to. But how do I respond to a lie that I actually like?

Yup, overstepped my bounds. My head thumped to the floor, the jacket cushioning it as I sat back up and gave the back of my head a rub. “Sorry.” I said genuinely, “I was just goofing around, didn’t mean to push ya.” As for her next question, “I, uh…” I shrugged, “wouldn’t mind it- not in that way, but-” my face began to grow warm and laughed nervously. I stood up and pressed the emergency button again, hoping it would cover how awkward I felt. No answer. Typical. 

The smile on my face spread when I saw him begin to grow red right before my eyes. The laugh escape my lips before I could even try to stop it. Covering my mouth I watched him attempt to get out of this elevator but his next blunt answer almost threw me off. I didn't know how to take it.

Her hands in my hair felt nice, despite the fact it wasn’t genuine. I mean, she didn’t have to do that. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my part. Probably is, then again I kind of want to have fun with this.

At his mentioned of Noose and his stories I shift. Him bringing up the reading just reminded me how useless I was at it. I guess if I could read I wouldn't be so ignorant about all this mythology stuff. I mean the only reason I knew about Apollo was because I manage to get it out of Zale in our first meeting. "I have to agree with you on that one; listening is a whole lot better than reading them." Not that I had ever read a story. 

I arched my eyebrows even more as he scoots closer to me and places his head on my lap. For a split moment I freeze and pray to the heavenly Gods that no one would open the door in this moment or else everyone would get the wrong idea. I had always hated people being this close to me so out of reflexes I shove his head off my legs harshly. It's not that I didn't want this touch, I just wasn't use to it. 

"I just meant ya know…after this. If, we don’t make it out, ya know? Not that I’m doubting ya there, Cap. I’ll even buy the first round." I was expecting her to shoot back at me some long winded comment about how there’s nothing after death. I think my smile grew more watching her hold back one herself. By now, she should know that I know her better than that, which is a strange thing to think about. I knew what to do and say to make her smile.

I almost let out sigh when he quickly changed the topic to death. A topic I didn't mind actually. Unlike him, death was nothing to me. I would welcome it with open arms because I wasn't scare of it. I had been near death so many times I think I became friends with it. Some people may consider this a weakness since I don't have anything to fight for but the way I saw it was that I didn't have anything to lose so that made me dangerous. All I cared about was going out my own way. 

"I  don't believe in the after life. For that matter, I only believe in what I can do for myself." I simply stated with a shrug. It just wasn't something that interest me. It seemed we also believe in different things. The only reason I believe in Gods because I had one looming over me for the past few days but I just wasn't a natural believer. That took a lot of faith, something I didn't have unless it was on me.

I snorted when he made his next comment. I starred down at his boyish grin that was so close to me. He was so close I didn't even have to move to touch his head. It seemed we were just drifting closer to each other as the seconds passed. Without even thinking and acting on impulse like I always did I tangled my fingers in his hair and leaned down. 

I was a bit disappointed that she didn’t trace out my tattoo, maybe my blatant blushing last time clued her in not to. “And I can say the same about you. Surprised all I’ve gotten out of you is a kick in the gut and a tackle.” I grinned. I’d take that tackle and pin again right now, maybe if I egg her on it’ll happen. I dismissed the idea when I saw how eagerly she listened to my story, it was…cute. “Well, I think it’s real.” I said matter-of-factly, playfully tossing my jacket at her legs.

I raised an eyebrow when she answered my next question. My meaning went right over her head. I meant after the Arena, ya know. After life, per say. Maybe it was a way to reassure myself that I’d be okay regardless of what happened. I smiled at her, seeing the discomfort in her face, “Well how about this, you come find me by the water and I’ll chew your ear off with every story I know ‘til you finally do sock me on in the face.” And then I felt the same thing I felt with Gaby that night she got upset when we were talking. I wanted to make her feel better, cheer her up, but I knew it wouldn’t work with her. Hmm.

Biting my lip I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say. But his next comment made me smirk. Raising one eyebrow I tilted my head to the side. "So you're saying you want me to do more than just that?" Was he challenging me? Because if so I would not mind showing him I could do more than just pin him down. "You're consider a Pirate, of course you would believe in it." I replied back, tossing his jacket back at him playfully.