* 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘩

i've  made  amends  with  myself  ,  and  i'm  feeling  okay  /  the  voice  in  my  head  keeps  on  telling  me  this  is  the  day  .  /  this  slideshow  of  all  that  i've  seen  and  all  that  i've  done  /  it  plays  over  my  thoughts  on  repeat  ,  like  a  terrible  song  /

i  keep  telling  myself  i  can  make  it  if  i  just  press  on  /  but  these  hauntingly  beautiful  memories  tell  me  i'm  wrong  .  ©

his hope has survived against things much sharper than her own pessimism, and perhaps the raven has always envied the phoenix in that regard : joshua has yet to allow hope to die, keeping it warm like a hearth ... while kira clings to it painfully, as though it is the absolution she seeks; as though she is certain she would die without it. for what is life when there is no hope? and she is left with naught but the violence that chokes the life out of her lungs. she must keep going, because she does not know what to do otherwise. not when the raven picks up her sword each day and braves against the akashic in hopes that today is the day she will be allowed to rest, but she still remains stubborn [ ... ] kira does not know what the proper way to die is. if she loses against someone, her dying act would be a loss, and she could not bare to have that as her legacy.

❛    you can't truly think i'd accept that, do you? our bond has long since passed the need for a transaction in coin, joshua.     ❜  kira sounds vaguely amused, if anything. they were not strangers to pay in the way one would a mercenary, nor was she one to be hired these days. ❛    put your gil away. i do not take pay from friends, and you are one who remains very dear to me, lest my sharp tongue convince you otherwise.    ❜

𝕿 here  is  a  form  of  relief  that  washes  over  him  like  a  wave  upon  the  sand  ,  carrying  the  grains  of  hesitancy  and  tension  into  depths  untreaded  as  they  speak  .  he  would  let  out  a  passive  laugh  ,  breathy  as  it  escapes  into  the  atmosphere  ,  almost  hiding  himself  for  assumptions  so  poorly  articulated  .  such  trivial  matters  and  fleeting  emotions  when  compared  to  the  fate  of  the  world  ,  the  over  abundance  of  aether  and  the  akashic  wrought  with  it  .  even  the  faintest  smile  inspires  a  heart  -  worn  guilt  .

〝  forgive  me  .  i  acted  on  assumptions  and  disregarded  what  i  knew  to  be  true  .  the  passage  of  time  can  be  a  cruel  oversight  .  i  meant  nothing  to  offend  your  character  .  〝

𝐢 𝐛𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞

—— 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 !

# 𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 - independent, low-activity, extremely canon divergent portrayal of 𝐽𝐼𝐿𝐿 𝑊𝐴𝑅𝑅𝐼𝐶𝐾, dominant of shiva, from ff16. inspirational is fairly whimsical with huge inspiration of winter and celtic mythologies. dearly cherished by ailli ( she / her / 25+ / pst ). established on may 2023 / re-established on sept 2023. pre-release influence remains heavily within this blog's interpretation. permanent mood : vibing. currently semi-affiliated with the FF roleplay community.

𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

this is a canon divergent blog. i made this blog probably a month before the game's release and due to that there are some personal headcanons and plots that i am not willing to part with despite the game's release. i want to focus more on jill's journey to healing after her 13 years of servitude. i want to see jill as a survivor first and foremost and find freedom in her choices. by default : this blog will follow 25 year old jill's journey, which is prior to the 5 year time skip. i do not acknowledge ultimania.

—— 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐰.

you're gonna rattle the stars.

now you listen to me, [name]. you got the makings of greatness in you, but you got to take the helm and chart your own course.

look at you, glowing like a solar fire.

you're something special, [name].

let me make this as... monosyllabic as possible.

how did i describe them?

i said something rather good this morning before coffee.

there you go. poetry.

i'm an astronomer, not a doctor!

i am a doctor, but i'm not that kind of doctor. i have a doctorate. it's not the same thing. you can't help people with a doctorate.

you just sit there and you're useless.

i won't bore you with my scars.

oh shut up. you know i don't mean a word of it.

i'm starting to see my life pass in front of my eyes.

you have wonderful eyes.

yes, you. i have a question.

is it that your body is too massive for your teeny-tiny head, or is it that your head is too teeny-tiny for your big fat body?

i have one more question.

is this yours?

well, this has been a fun day.

without the map, we're dead.

if we try to leave, we're dead.

what a joke.

at least you taught me something.

that's just what i'm gonna do.

you still don't know how to pick your fights.

are you saying this because it's the right thing, or because you really want to go?

playing games, are we?

thanks for the lift, guys.

don't mention it.

this is the answer to all our problems!

don't you remember? all those stories?

would you please explain how ridiculous this is?

it's totally preposterous! traversing the galaxy alone!

now at last we hear some sense.

you flatter me, [name].

i feel like such a useless weakling.

stay out of trouble!

that was more fun than i ever want to have again.

so... uh. how'd that happen anyway?

i've got two new friends i'd like you to meet.

are your parents around?

i've got some plans to make people see me a little different.

sometimes plans go astray.

you take care now.

this should be a wonderful opportunity for the two of us to get to know one another.

with the greatest possible respect, zip your howling screamer.

we're about to get under way!

i'll follow you.

you know the rules.

maybe your ears don't work so well.

i just don't want to see you throw away your entire future.

i don't know how you manage it.

did you actually aim for that?

what is all this stuff?

wait wait wait! what about the treasure?

i don't want to lose you.

i'll make you proud.

i'm sorry, my memory isn't what it used to be.

i say we kill them all now.

there was something in his gaze that nearly hard her turn away, a tenderness that made her feel as though

his hand wrapped around her wrist, & she suddenly forgot what it meant to breathe. the gentle caress of his fingers against her skin brought heat & a flush to her face–––– one of the infinite reminders that the undying could never fully train the human out of her, that there was a living soul within her that could not be trained away.

jote was not so bold as to call him her home. though she returned the sentiment, it would be far too familiar for her station ( & she forced herself to remember that he could not mean it with the same conviction that she would ), but she would not let him think that she would ever consider changing her mind.

“ make no mistake, your grace, ” her words were gentle, but stern. her wish for him to know that she spoke in simple truths was clear in every syllable. this was, very likely, the closest she would ever allow herself to get to a true order in a moment that had nothing to do with his safety. “ the only way i would ever forsake myself on this journey is if i were to leave you. ”

still , when he meets jote's eyes , he is greeted with the present , and what is he feels is forbidden even by the thoughts of his own . life has played them a cruel hand , certainly . she dodges his glance just long enough to leave him hollow , cold , yearning for the hand that clasps around his in a moment's disappearance . he is graced , in the moment that their fingers lay platonically atop one another's , by an angel of divine spirit ; overwhelmed with something he will never accept as his .

her honesty is present in the way it always is , the way he has grown to know so well , and he is grateful for her transparency in a world built on fallacies . yet , he doubts . . . he doubts because there is something so far within his heart , born of the way he was raised , that he cannot trust the tenderhearted intentions of anyone , let alone someone who offers him protection . that is a wound of his that has known no healing .