Orange Coloured Glasses

Alt.

No, you cannot have main.

Here to be a sadboi in private.

Leave me alone.

(Actually, don't. DM's are open)

************************** DISCLAIMERS ***************************

Posts are usually just shit I find on the internet that I resonate with. If you want credit, please inbox me! Otherwise, stop messaging me about them. I'm a very busy man. Being a recluse all day isnt easy work, so please understand that while I usually try to tag them as such, I often forget. Sue me about it if you want, but I guarantee my lawyer is better and my indifference greater

*****************************REMINDER*****************************

This is my little piece of hell on the internet, not yours, so if you don't like something, kindly keep it the fuck moving. There's an unfollow button for a reason! Thanks again!

*********** MINORS ABSOLUTELY DO NOT INTERACT ***********

I don't generally post NSFW stuff on this particular blog, but being friends with minors on any social media while not being a minor yourself is just flat-out gross and susphishus. 18+ or GTFO, loser.

Looking For Something? Follow The Tags!

(In Other Words, My ADD-Brained Way Of Organizing My Tumblr)

#sweet sounds for deaf ears- sadboi music I cry to a lot

#unwatched and unfinished- sadboi videos I make when I'm bored

#whatsername- probably who the sadboi music /videos are about

#burn after writing- thoughts I should probably never say aloud

#9:33- wouldn't you like to know

That's all, folks! Enjoy!

Thank you guys for everything.

You all really helped a lot this year.

But it's time.

Love yas.

     Almost Lover

A Fine Frenzy

                1:07 ━━❍───── 0:00

↻     ⊲  Ⅱ  ⊳     ↺

Volume: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇ 100%

"Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

I waited a year.

And so this next one must continue without you.

Always, will I cherish you.

Always, will I hold you fondly in my heart.

Always, will I remember the utter best of us.

And always, will I look back on our time together with joy.

Sometimes, in life, you must make choices, and too often they are the most difficult decisions we ever face.

We made our decisions, however wrong they were, however right they felt at the time, we still made them.

We cannot now, look back and wish we chose different.

Because we didn't.

And if we wanted to, and if we were truly the end-all be-all of love, we would have.

But we didn't.

I'm learning now that that's okay: that it's okay that it wasn't okay.

Moreso, I've learned that it's okay to accept things not being okay, or how we wish they ended up. I've learned to stop wishing for it to be different out of sadness and anger and instead, to love it for what it was regardless of all the pain that it came packaged with.

For all it's flaws, I'd never take it back. The good, the bad, the pain after it ended, and the decimation of my entire psyche and my perception of love.

I'd do it all again.

Because it really was "fun while it lasted."

It really was beautiful.

You were beautiful.

We were beautiful.

It really was pure unadulterated love in it's most animalistic form.

Messy and raw. Open and honest. Deep and true.

It was love.

I don't think I'll ever get to experience it again and, quite honestly, I don't want to. I want the magic to stay tucked away right in my ribcage for the rest of my days. Right where it belongs. Right next to the corner of my chest where you used to rest your head and listen to me breathe.

So with fondness, I say goodbye.

Goodbye to sleepy drives to work in the freezing cold.

Goodbye to late-night gas station runs on payday for ice cream.

Goodbye to chain-smoking and gaming for hours on end.

Goodbye to making love like it was the first time, every time.

Goodbye to kissing like it was the last time, every time.

Goodbye to sweet whispers in your ear in your sleep.

To tucking our daughter back in after she fell asleep every night.

To putting the Switch away our son would hide under his pillow.

To two dogs wrestling at 5am and 10pm every day and every night.

To Colin, Arctic Monkeys, Paramore, P!atD, FoB, and Bright Eyes.

To walks..

To Rita's...

To broken TV's...

To little baby mice...

To Sunday brunch...

To foxholes for two...

To 2005...

To "2009..."

To "I loike you..."

To "Hiiii..."

To "Bing Bong..."

To "Ewwo..."

To fights...

To pain...

To tears...

To showering alone...

To sleeping fully clothed...

To silence...

To feeling miles away while laying inches from one another...

To the good,

To the bad,

I say goodbye.

I'll forever keep the memories of it all safe in my heart.

I promise.

But it's time.

Always, will I love you.

Always, will I miss you.

Always, will a piece of me be lost.

Never, will I be whole again.

I bid you farewell, hoping that in the next life, maybe we talk about it a little more. Maybe we choose softness over being abrasive. Maybe we choose love instead of hate.

Maybe, we take action a little goddamn sooner.

But until then, I hope we both find love.

Even if it could never hold a candle to a starry night on a hilltop together, or an afternoon on the porch watching our kids play.

Even if we are never whole again, I hope we still find happiness.

Even if it's just with ourselves and some old memories.

May you always seek happiness and never find loneliness.

May you always forget pain and never remember suffering.

From me to you,

To love,

To hope,

To us.

     A Broken Jar

La Dispute

                1:22 ━━❍───── 2:19

↻     ⊲  Ⅱ  ⊳     ↺

Volume: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇ 100%

I know I knocked the table over because I watched the jar break, and I’ve been trying to repair it every single stupid day. But won’t the cracks still show no matter how well it’s assembled? Can I ever just decide to let it die and let you go?

All my motives and every single narrative below reflects that moment when it broke and will I never let it go, no matter what?

Now I am throwing all the shards away, discarding every fragment, and fumbling uncertain towards a curtain call that no one wants to happen, that no ones going to clap for at all...

It's been 1 whole year.

1 year since he kissed you.

1 year since you ran away.

I waited a year.

I thought it was long enough to get over you.

But it's not.

I still feel just the same as I did the night I took this picture.

The night you didn't come home.

The night she waited on the bed like this for hours for you.

The night our other dog slept by the door.

It's been a whole year.

And it still feels like we're waiting for you to come back home.

I doubt I'll ever lock my doors or turn the lights out at night again.

Why do I love you so?

Because there are parts of me that only exist when I am with you.

                                       Straightjacket Feeling

                                    The All-American Rejects

                                       1:36 ━━❍───── 3:38

                                              ↻     ⊲  Ⅱ  ⊳     ↺          

                                     Volume: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇  100%

It's not about easiness.

It's not about infatuation.

Hell, I don't even believe it's about love.

It's about feeling secure.

It's about re-parenting the kid inside of them.

It's about giving their inner child a second chance.

It's safety.

It's getting back that Christmas morning feeling.

It's feeling like you wanna go home after school again.

Maybe our problem is that we love like adults and act like children.

When we should act like adults and love as our children do.

Truly.

Deeply.

And without conditions.

All I know, is that I never wanted to grow up.

And then I was forced to mature way too young.

I lost my childhood somewhere in those awful years.

But you...

In the way we laugh...

In the way we play...

In the way we talk...

In the way we listen...

You...

You make me feel like a kid again.

And I'll always love you for that.

Stupidly, carelessly, and unconditionally...

I'll love you...

   Sideways

Citizen Cope

                1:19 ━━❍───── 5:22

↻     ⊲  Ⅱ  ⊳     ↺

Volume: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇ 100%

It was just one person.

I lost just one person.

But the last night I saw you, the night we kissed like it was the last time we'd ever see each other, sitting parked at our old spot,

I prayed,

"God... Please..."