♡

you don’t argue. you step into them without breaking eye contact, fingers numb. your phone buzzes again in your pocket. you don’t check it. you already know what it says.

jaemin moves first this time, guiding you toward the back stairwell instead of the elevator. his shoulder brushes yours once, grounding, deliberate.

“how many people know where you are,” he asks.

“i don’t know,” you answer honestly. “i didn’t tell anyone.”

he nods, like that confirms something he already suspected.

the stairwell smells like dust and oil. you descend quickly, quietly, every sense screaming. halfway down, voices echo from above — unfamiliar, confident, unhurried.

jaemin stops.

for a split second, you think he’s miscalculated.

then he turns you around, presses you flat against the wall, body shielding yours completely. his forearm braces beside your head, close enough to trap but not touching.

“listen,” he murmurs.

you do.

footsteps pass overhead. laughter. calm. no rush.

people who know they’ve already won.

when the sound fades, jaemin exhales once, slow.

“they’re not here for a warning,” he says.

you swallow.

“then what are they here for.”

his eyes flick to yours. something heavy moves behind them. something old.

“confirmation.”

the word settles in your gut like lead.

you reach the bottom of the stairwell and spill into the alley behind the building. the night air is sharp, cutting. jaemin doesn’t slow as he leads you away, weaving through streets you don’t recognize, cutting through spaces too narrow for cars.

“jaemin,” you say, breath hitching. “you said this was about both of us.”

“It is.”

his answer is immediate. too immediate.

you stop walking.

this time, he can’t ignore it.

he turns, annoyance flashing across his face before it smooths into something else. patience. calculation. concern layered on top of something darker.

“what aren’t you telling me,” you ask.

he studies you in the glow of a flickering streetlight. you’ve never seen him like this — fully awake, fully present, the softness pulled tight over something dangerous and deliberate.

“there are things about my family,” he begins.

you cut him off.

“i know.”

that surprises him.

just a fraction.

“you knew i was mafia-adjacent,” he says slowly.

you shake your head.

“i knew you were trained,” you say. “i knew you weren’t just running. i didn’t know why.”

silence stretches.

“i do now,” you add.

his jaw tightens.

“say it.”

you hesitate. the word tastes wrong in your mouth.

“inheritance.”

something shifts.

not outwardly. internally.

jaemin steps closer, lowering his voice.

“that’s not something you guess,” he says. “that’s something you learn.”

your phone vibrates again. this time, you look.

a photo fills the screen.

a man on the ground. blood dark against concrete. a face you know too well. a face that still visits your dreams.

your ex.

your victim.

your crime.

jaemin watches the color drain from your face.

“who sent that,” he asks.

you don’t answer.

you don’t have to.

his gaze flicks to the screen.

then back to you.

recognition lands.

slow.

devastating.

the city hums around you, indifferent, complicit.

“you,” he says quietly.

not a question.

your throat closes.

“he wouldn’t let me leave,” you whisper. “he wasn’t going to stop.”

jaemin doesn’t move.

doesn’t shout.

doesn’t reach for you.

something in his expression fractures instead — grief surfacing beneath restraint, love colliding with blood.

“he was my brother,” he says.

the word splits the night open.

everything lines up at once — the timing, the ghosts, the way the past kept circling back no matter how far you ran. you take a step back without realizing it.

“you knew,” you breathe. “you’ve known.”

he doesn’t deny it.

“i found out last week,” he says. “before the door. before the messages.”

your chest tightens painfully.

“then why didn’t you—”

“because i wanted to hear it from you.”

the restraint in his voice is terrifying.

sirens wail somewhere closer now.

jaemin looks past you, then back again.

“we don’t have much time,” he says.

and for the first time since you met him, you don’t know whether he means for you—

or for himself. the word brother doesn’t echo. it sinks. heavy and immediate, like it was always waiting for the right moment to surface. the streetlight flickers overhead, casting jaemin’s face in alternating shadow and clarity, and you hate how calm he looks. you hate how you don’t see rage first. you see grief. you see calculation arriving second.

“you knew my name,” you say.

he nods once.

“eventually.”

your pulse roars in your ears. you try to ground yourself in the present—the grit under your shoes, the smell of rain and oil, the distant sirens—but memory crowds in anyway. your ex’s voice, sharp and accusing. the moment you realized leaving wouldn’t be allowed. the split second where survival chose for you.

“you were looking at me,” you whisper, “and you already knew.”

“i was looking at you,” he replies, “and i was hoping i was wrong.”

that hurts worse than anger. you step back, putting space between your bodies like it might make the truth smaller. it doesn’t. jaemin watches the movement closely, attention sharpening, as if distance itself is now a variable he needs to control.

“how long were you going to wait,” you ask.

he exhales slowly.

“long enough to decide.”

“decide what.”

“whether i could live with it.”

the honesty lands like a blow. you feel it in your chest, a sharp ache that makes breathing harder than it should be. the city hums on, oblivious, while something fundamental fractures between you.

“and can you,” you ask.

he doesn’t answer right away. when he does, his voice is low, even.

“i don’t know yet.”

your phone buzzes again. you don’t look this time. you don’t need to. you know the pattern now—pressure, proof, patience. someone is watching to see what choice he makes. someone always is. jaemin’s gaze flicks to the alley mouth, then back to you, measuring time and angles like a language he’s fluent in.

“we need to move,” he says.

“where,” you ask.

“somewhere i can buy us time.”

us. the word feels reckless. you latch onto it anyway. you follow as he turns, cutting through a narrow passage that smells like damp stone and old smoke. your steps echo too loud. you want to ask a thousand questions. you ask none.

“you should hate me,” you say instead.

he doesn’t slow.

“i’m trying,” he answers.

that’s worse. you realize then that recognition isn’t the reveal. it’s the pivot. everything from here is choice, not coincidence. you reach the end of the passage and spill into a quieter street where the buildings lean close, conspiratorial. jaemin stops under a broken sign, finally facing you fully.

“tell me,” he says.

“what.”

“the part you’re not telling yourself.”

you swallow. the truth presses up, sharp and unavoidable.

“i didn’t mean to kill him,” you say.

he studies you, eyes dark, unreadable.

“but you did.”

“Yes.”

the word feels like a verdict. jaemin nods once, absorbing it, and for a split second the softness returns—brief, fragile—before something else steps forward and takes its place. resolve. inheritance. the kind of decision that doesn’t ask permission.

“then listen carefully,” he says.

you lean in without meaning to.

“if my family is here,” he continues, “they already know more than they’re letting on. they’ll wait. they’ll test. and when they move, they won’t miss.”

“are you warning me,” you ask, “or threatening me.”

his mouth curves, humorless.

“i’m doing both.”

a car turns the corner too slowly. headlights sweep the street. jaemin’s hand finds yours again, firm, grounding, unyielding. you let him pull you back into motion, heart hammering with the certainty that recognition has done its work. the game isn’t about hiding anymore. it’s about who acts first. movement becomes your language. you follow jaemin without asking where you’re going because the city has already made it clear that hesitation is a luxury you don’t have. he keeps you off the main roads, cutting through courtyards and service alleys, places that smell like damp stone and old secrets. he doesn’t look back to see if you’re keeping up. he knows you are.

“you’re walking like someone who’s done this before,” you say.

he answers without turning.

“i learned young.”

that settles something cold in your stomach. you realize then that the softness you met wasn’t a disguise. it was a decision. one he’s actively undoing. you pass a shuttered storefront and he pauses just long enough to peer into the reflection, checking angles, counting exits. his jaw tightens.

“they’re herding us,” he murmurs.

“who,” you ask.

“people who want to see which way i lean.”

the implication sharpens. this isn’t just about you. it never was. you are leverage. you are proof. you are temptation. jaemin turns suddenly, backing you into the shadow of a recessed doorway. his hand lifts, hovering near your shoulder, stopping himself from touching. restraint thrums between you like a live wire.

“listen,” he says.

you listen. footsteps approach. slow. confident. they pass without stopping. jaemin waits three seconds longer than necessary before moving again.

“you’re buying time,” you say.

“Yes.”

“for me.”

“For a decision,” he corrects.

you swallow.

“what decision.”

his eyes flick to yours, then away.

“whether i end this cleanly.”

the word clean lands wrong. you think of blood that never quite washes out, of nights where your hands shake no matter how many times you scrub them. clean is a myth. you know that better than most.

“your family won’t let you choose,” you say.

“They already did,” he replies.

that stops you. you slow despite yourself. jaemin notices instantly, stopping with you. he looks down at you like he’s weighing something fragile against something permanent.

“they expect me to fix it,” he says.

“fix what.”

“the imbalance.”

you feel it then. not fear. not yet. inevitability. you are the imbalance. you are the proof that his brother’s death didn’t stay buried. you are the variable that makes his inheritance unstable.

“if i disappear,” you say quietly, “this ends.”

his head snaps toward you. the denial is instant.

“No.”

the force of it surprises you both. he exhales, regaining control.

“that’s not how it ends,” he says more carefully. “that’s how it spreads.”

sirens swell and fade again, closer now, then farther. paris watches, patient. you keep moving until you reach a narrow building with a metal door scarred by age and graffiti. jaemin knocks once, sharp. the door opens a crack, then wider. an older man nods at jaemin without looking at you.

“ten minutes,” the man says.

“five,” jaemin replies.

inside, the room is spare and dim. no windows. one table. two chairs. jaemin closes the door behind you, locking it with a practiced twist. you turn to face him, heart hammering.

“you said you wanted to hear it from me,” you say.

“Yes.”

“then hear this,” you continue. “i don’t regret surviving.”

he studies you, searching for something. remorse. defiance. relief.

“i don’t regret it either,” he says finally.

the words are quiet. devastating. you realize then that motive isn’t born from hatred. it’s born from love colliding with obligation and refusing to yield. jaemin steps closer, stopping just short of touching.

“but i do need this to end,” he adds.

you meet his gaze, steady despite the storm inside you.

“so do i.”

outside, footsteps approach the door. the handle rattles once. not forced. testing. jaemin doesn’t look away from you.

“then don’t make me choose alone,” he says. the handle rattles again, slower this time, like whoever’s on the other side is enjoying the wait. the room feels smaller by the second. jaemin doesn’t move toward the door. he watches you instead, eyes sharp, measuring the cost of every possible outcome.

“they won’t come in yet,” he says.

“how do you know.”

“because they want to see what i do first.”

that lands with a sickening clarity. you aren’t just being hunted. you’re being used. proof of loyalty. proof of inheritance. you straighten your spine, forcing your breath to slow. panic wastes time. you learned that the hard way.

“you said five minutes,” you say.

“Yes.”

“then we talk for five.”

his mouth curves faintly, humorless.

“you’re negotiating.”

“i’m surviving.”

the footsteps outside shift. someone leans closer to the door, close enough that you can hear fabric brush wood. jaemin’s attention flicks there, then back to you. he doesn’t reach for a weapon. that’s the first thing you notice. the second is that he positions himself slightly in front of you anyway.

“what do they want from you,” you ask.

“clarity.”

“about me.”

“about whether i’m willing to finish what my brother started.”

the words punch the air out of your lungs. you shake your head once, slow.

“he didn’t start anything,” you say. “he ended it.”

jaemin’s jaw tightens.

“he crossed a line.”

“So did i,” you answer.

silence stretches, thick and electric. the door creaks softly as someone tests the lock without committing. jaemin doesn’t react. his calm is terrifying in its precision.

“they think i’ll choose blood,” he says.

“And will you.”

his gaze holds yours. there’s no softness left now, no room for pretending this is anything but what it is.

“they raised me to,” he says. “i taught myself not to.”

that shouldn’t comfort you. it does. you step closer without thinking, lowering your voice even though no one else can hear you.

“then listen,” you say. “if you give them me, they win. they don’t stop. they won’t ever.”

“I know.”

“and if you protect me,” you continue, “they’ll make you pay.”

“I know.”

another knock. sharper this time. impatient.

“time,” a voice calls through the door. calm. amused.

jaemin exhales slowly. you realize then that leverage isn’t about power. it’s about timing. you pull your phone from your pocket, fingers steady despite the tremor in your chest.

“what are you doing,” he asks.

“ending the test.”

you unlock the screen and open the message thread, the one you haven’t looked at since recognition cracked everything open. you turn the phone toward him. the photo is still there. the timestamp. the location data. the proof they’re using to corner you both.

“they think this owns me,” you say.

“It does,” he replies.

“only if i let it.”

you hit forward and select a contact you shouldn’t have saved. one you promised yourself you’d never use again. your thumb hovers. jaemin watches, understanding dawning too late.

“don’t,” he says.

“you said don’t make you choose alone,” you answer.

the knock comes again, louder. the door flexes.

“last chance,” the voice outside says.

you send the message. confirmation pings softly. irreversible. you meet jaemin’s eyes, heart pounding.

“now they can’t pretend it’s just about you,” you say.

his face hardens. anger flashes bright and brief.

“you just escalated this.”

“Yes.”

“why.”

“because leverage works both ways.”

the door slams inward, wood cracking. men spill into the room with practiced ease, smiles sharp and curious. one of them looks between you and jaemin, pleased.

“decision time,” he says.

jaemin steps forward, blocking you completely now. his voice is cold, precise.

“i’ve made it.”

the man’s smile widens.

“good.”

jaemin doesn’t look back at you when he speaks again.

“stay behind me.”

you realize then that leverage has done its job. the game has shifted. no one here is bluffing anymore. the room fills fast, bodies moving with quiet confidence, shoes soft against concrete. no one rushes. no one raises a voice. they don’t need to. jaemin stands between you and them like he was placed there on purpose, shoulders squared, breath steady. you can feel the tension in him now, coiled and contained, a blade kept sheathed by choice.

“you brought company,” the man says, eyes sliding past jaemin to you.

“she’s not part of this,” jaemin replies.

a soft laugh answers him.

“everything is part of this.”

the door behind them clicks shut. the sound is final. you resist the urge to glance at it. exits are counted already. jaemin shifts his weight, blocking your line of sight without looking back. it’s instinctive. practiced. you hate how safe it makes you feel.

“we’re here to clean up,” the man continues.

“you’re here to watch,” jaemin corrects.

the man’s smile sharpens.

“same thing, sometimes.”

silence settles. it’s thick, expectant. the kind that waits for someone to flinch. you don’t. neither does jaemin.

“say your terms,” jaemin says.

the man tilts his head.

“you always did like to skip ahead.”

he gestures vaguely, as if the room itself is the offer.

“you give us what restores balance.”

“and in return.”

“you keep your place.”

jaemin’s jaw tightens.

“you don’t get to promise that.”

the man shrugs.

“i get to imply it.”

you feel it then, the way the room is angled toward a single outcome. this isn’t negotiation. it’s theater. you step forward before you can stop yourself. jaemin’s hand snaps back, catching your wrist, grip firm and warning.

“don’t,” he says under his breath.

you meet his eyes anyway.

“they already know,” you whisper.

he releases you slowly, conflict flickering across his face. the man watches the exchange with interest, like he’s learning something useful.

“she’s bold,” he says.

“she’s not involved,” jaemin repeats.

the man’s gaze locks onto yours.

“that’s not what the message says.”

your stomach drops. jaemin’s head snaps toward you.

“what message.”

you don’t answer. you don’t need to. the man lifts his phone, screen glowing. the forwarded photo. the metadata. the trail you lit on fire on purpose.

“she made a call,” he says.

jaemin’s expression changes. not anger. not shock. calculation slamming into place.

“you set this up,” he says to you.

“i leveled it,” you reply quietly.

the man chuckles.

“she understands leverage.”

jaemin steps closer to you, voice low.

“you took my choice away.”

you swallow.

“i gave you one that doesn’t end with me disappearing quietly.”

the room hums with anticipation. the men shift, waiting. jaemin inhales, slow and deep, the way someone does before committing to a path they can’t turn back from.

“here are my terms,” he says.

every eye in the room sharpens.

“she walks,” jaemin continues.

the man raises a brow.

“and you.”

jaemin’s mouth curves, thin and dangerous.

“i stay.”

the word lands heavy. you shake your head immediately.

“no.”

jaemin doesn’t look at you.

“this is the only way,” he says.

“you don’t get to decide that alone,” you snap.

the man’s smile widens.

“i like her.”

jaemin finally looks back at you. there’s something raw there now, something unguarded slipping through the cracks.

“trust me,” he says.

the phrase feels like a betrayal. you laugh once, sharp.

“you already asked me for that.”

the man steps forward, clapping once, soft.

“done,” he says.

the word echoes like a gavel. jaemin’s shoulders loosen a fraction, relief cutting through tension. you feel it and something inside you snaps.

“no,” you say again, louder.

hands move. not toward you. toward jaemin. claiming. marking. he doesn’t resist. that’s what breaks you.

“this doesn’t end it,” you say to the man, voice shaking with fury.

he looks amused.

“it never does.”

jaemin turns his head slightly, just enough for you to hear him.

“run,” he murmurs.

you don’t. you step forward instead, eyes locked on him, heart hammering with the certainty that this isn’t a rescue. it’s a trade. and trades can always be reversed. the room holds its breath as if waiting for you to comply. jaemin stands perfectly still while hands close in around him, not rough, not gentle, just inevitable. you see the calculation behind his eyes as he allows it, the way someone does when they believe they’re minimizing damage. you’ve never hated him more for it.

“let her go,” the man says, already bored.

jaemin doesn’t look away from you.

“now.”

you don’t move. your body hums with a clarity that feels dangerous in its calm. this is the part no one expects—the moment where you stop reacting and start choosing. you step closer, close enough that jaemin’s shoulder brushes yours, close enough that the men tense.

“you said balance,” you say.

the man turns his attention to you again, curious.

“i did.”

“then you don’t get him and me,” you continue. “you get one.”

jaemin’s head snaps toward you.

“don’t,” he says.

you ignore him. you’ve done this before—felt the room tilt, felt the future narrow to a single line. it’s familiar in a way that makes your stomach ache.

“you want proof,” you say to the man. “you want closure.”

he smiles thinly.

“we already have it.”

“no,” you say. “you have leverage. there’s a difference.”

the men shift, uncertain now. jaemin watches you like he’s seeing you for the first time.

“if i walk,” you continue, voice steady, “this stays messy. witnesses. questions. attention.”

you lift your phone slightly, not threatening, just reminding.

“if i don’t,” you say, “this ends the way you want.”

jaemin’s breath hitches.

“you’re not doing this,” he says.

you finally look at him, really look. the softness is gone from his face, stripped bare by fear and fury. you recognize it because it mirrors your own reflection from another life.

“you taught me leverage,” you tell him.

the man considers you in silence. seconds stretch. the city presses in on the walls, patient and listening.

“she’s offering herself,” he says eventually.

jaemin steps forward, straining against the hands on him.

“no deal,” he snaps.

the man lifts a hand. the room stills.

“you stay,” the man tells jaemin, “or she does.”

you feel it settle then—the inevitability. jaemin’s choice was made the moment he stepped in front of you weeks ago. yours was made the first night you realized running doesn’t erase consequences.

“i’ll stay,” you say.

jaemin’s voice breaks.

“don’t.”

you reach for his hand despite the men between you. your fingers catch his for a heartbeat, skin to skin, electric and grounding all at once.

“you said don’t make you choose alone,” you whisper.

he stares at you, eyes shining with something close to despair.

“i was wrong,” he says.

the man nods, satisfied.

“take her,” he orders.

hands move toward you. jaemin surges forward, fury breaking through restraint. the room erupts for half a second before it’s controlled again, bodies repositioned, power reasserted. jaemin’s voice cuts through the noise, raw and unrestrained.

“i swear to you,” he says, eyes locked on yours, “this doesn’t end with you.”

you meet his gaze, heart pounding, a calm settling over you that feels like acceptance.

“i know,” you answer.

as they pull you away, the door opening to the night beyond, you catch one last glimpse of jaemin—contained, furious, watching the future fracture. you don’t look back when you cross the threshold. some exits only work if you commit. the night swallows you fast. hands guide rather than shove, steering you into the back of a car that smells like leather and something metallic beneath it. the door closes with a soft finality that makes your pulse spike harder than any slam could. the city slides past the window in streaks of light, anonymous and uncaring. you force your breathing to slow. panic is loud. calm survives.

“seatbelt,” a voice says from the front.

you comply without comment. small obedience buys time.

the car turns twice, then again, routes bending away from anything familiar. you count the seconds between turns, the hum of the engine, the way speed changes. it’s a habit you thought you’d left behind. apparently, it followed you across an ocean.

your phone vibrates in your pocket. you don’t reach for it. you already know who it is. you imagine jaemin standing in that room, contained by hands that know exactly where to apply pressure. the thought sharpens something inside you into resolve.

the car slows. stops. a door opens. cool air floods in, carrying the smell of damp stone and iron. you step out and find yourself facing a building that looks like it doesn’t exist on any map. old. patient. watching.

inside, the lights are low and yellowed, casting everything in the color of time. a man gestures down a corridor. you walk. your footsteps echo back at you like they’re asking questions.

“how long,” you ask.

“long enough,” he replies.

the room they put you in is spare. chair. table. no windows. no restraints. that’s intentional. the door clicks shut behind you. you sit without being told. control is quieter when it’s chosen.

minutes pass. then more. your mind drifts where it shouldn’t. you pull it back. you think of leverage. of proof. of timing. you think of jaemin’s eyes when he said trust me, and how trust has always been the most dangerous currency.

the door opens again. the man from before steps in, unhurried. he doesn’t sit. he leans against the wall like he’s got all the time in the world.

“you understand why you’re here,” he says.

“you want a confession,” you answer.

he smiles faintly.

“i want alignment.”

you tilt your head.

“with who.”

“with the truth.”

you exhale slowly.

“your truth or mine.”

he considers that.

“they used to be the same.”

you picture your ex’s face again, the way certainty curdled into threat, the second where survival became action. you steady your hands on the table.

“say it,” the man says.

you meet his gaze.

“i killed him,” you say.

the word lands and doesn’t explode. the man nods, satisfied.

“why.”

“because he wouldn’t let me leave.”

“and if you had stayed.”

“i wouldn’t be here,” you reply.

silence stretches. the man studies you like a ledger.

“you don’t regret it,” he says.

“i regret the cost,” you answer.

another nod.

“that’s workable.”

workable. the word chills you.

“what happens to jaemin,” you ask.

the man’s eyes flicker, just a fraction.

“that depends on how useful he remains.”

you lean forward.

“then listen,” you say. “if you want alignment, you don’t break the asset you’re testing.”

he smiles again, slower this time.

“you’re protective.”

“i’m strategic,” you correct.

he straightens.

“prove it.”

the door opens once more. a phone slides across the table toward you. jaemin’s name fills the screen. incoming. the man gestures.

“answer,” he says.

your heart hammers. you pick up the phone.

“jaemin,” you say.

his voice is steady, but you hear the strain under it.

“are you hurt.”

“No,” you answer. “i’m fine.”

a pause. you know he’s weighing your breathing, the cadence of your voice.

“where are you,” he asks.

“somewhere quiet,” you reply.

the man’s hand taps the table once. reminder.

“listen to me,” you continue. “this ends if we do exactly what they expect.”

jaemin exhales.

“that’s not how it ends,” he says.

you close your eyes.

“trust me,” you whisper.

the silence on the line is sharp enough to cut. then, quietly,

“i do,” he says.

the call ends. the man takes the phone back. his smile is gone now, replaced by interest that feels like a door opening.

“good,” he says. “then let’s see which of you breaks first.” they don’t touch you again after that.

that’s how you know this part is intentional.

they leave you alone in the room with the light humming faintly overhead, time stretching thin and elastic. you don’t pace. pacing wastes energy. instead, you sit and catalog—breathing, angles, the sound of footsteps outside the door. you imagine jaemin doing the same somewhere else, control stitched back into place, anger folded neatly where it can’t be used against him.

you wonder if he knows this is a rehearsal.

the door opens without warning. a different man steps in this time. younger. sharper. he doesn’t bother with pleasantries.

“we’re moving locations,” he says.

“already,” you reply.

he pauses, surprised despite himself. you stand without being told. that earns you a second look. they like compliance when it looks like cooperation.

the corridor outside is longer than you remember. or maybe time has altered your sense of distance. you pass rooms you didn’t see before, doors cracked just enough to reveal shapes that don’t move. you keep your face neutral. curiosity is a liability.

outside, the night is cooler. the car waits with its engine running. this time, you’re not guided. you’re watched. you take the back seat again, posture relaxed, eyes forward. the city slides by, familiar now in its hostility.

you think of jaemin’s voice on the phone. steady. trusting.

you hate how that feels.

the car stops beneath a bridge where light fractures into strips and shadow pools deep. water moves below, dark and constant. they don’t rush you out. the delay is the point.

“this is where it ends,” the younger man says lightly.

“no,” you answer. “this is where you check your work.”

he laughs. “you think you’re in charge.”

“i think you want to know if he’ll choose blood or weakness,” you say. “and you think i’ll tell you.”

that wipes the smile from his face.

you step out of the car slowly. the night air tastes metallic. footsteps approach from the far end of the bridge. familiar cadence. controlled. jaemin emerges into the light, hands free, posture calm. for a second, relief punches through you so hard it nearly breaks your composure.

then you see the cut at his temple. dried blood. a reminder.

you don’t react.

he stops a few feet away, eyes locking onto yours. the world narrows. everything unsaid presses between you.

“you okay,” he asks.

“Yes,” you answer.

a pause.

“you sure.”

“Yes.”

that’s the code. i’m still me.

the men position themselves around you, not touching, not retreating. spectators. this is the test.

“we want to see it,” the older man says, stepping into view now. “closure.”

jaemin’s jaw tightens.

“you already have it,” he says.

“no,” the man replies. “we have a body. we want alignment.”

the implication settles cold and heavy. you realize then what this is meant to provoke. not revenge. choice.

“tell him,” the man says to you.

you don’t look away from jaemin.

“tell me what,” jaemin asks quietly.

you swallow once. then you say it, because truth is the sharpest blade here.

“they want to know if you’d do it,” you say. “if you’d finish what he started.”

silence crashes down, vast and echoing. water rushes below like it’s waiting.

jaemin steps forward.

“and if i don’t,” he asks.

the man smiles.

“then we see how much she’s worth to you.”

you feel it then—the pivot point. the moment history tightens into a loop. you think of your ex’s face in that final second, the certainty that he wouldn’t stop. you think of jaemin standing here now, caught between inheritance and love.

you step forward before he can.

“don’t,” you say to jaemin. “this isn’t yours.”

his eyes flick to you, sharp.

“it is,” he replies.

“it isn’t,” you insist. “i chose then. i’ll choose now.”

the man laughs softly. “how noble.”

you ignore him. you hold jaemin’s gaze.

“if you do this,” you say, voice steady, “they own you forever.”

he exhales slowly. the city seems to hold its breath.

“if i don’t,” he says, “they’ll never stop.”

that’s when you understand.

this isn’t about who dies.

it’s about who becomes inevitable.

you feel the decision settle in your bones, heavy and calm.

“then don’t look at me,” you say.

his eyes widen just a fraction.

and somewhere beneath the bridge, the water keeps moving, patient as fate.

he doesn’t look away.

that’s the first thing you notice. jaemin keeps his eyes on you even after you tell him not to, like looking anywhere else would be the real betrayal. the men around you shift, sensing the tension tightening into something sharp. they’re waiting for spectacle. for blood. for a clean answer to a dirty question.

you don’t give them one.

you step closer to jaemin, slow enough to stop, close enough that his breath ghosts your cheek. his jaw tightens, eyes searching your face like he’s memorizing it.

“what are you doing,” he murmurs.

“ending the rehearsal,” you reply.

you reach into your coat.

every body around you tenses at once.

hands move. not fast enough.

you don’t pull a gun. that’s what they expect. instead, you pull your phone and hold it up between you and jaemin, screen already lit. a recording plays without sound at first, captions crawling across the glass. names. dates. transfers. locations. the architecture of a machine that eats people quietly.

the older man’s smile drops.

“you sent that,” he says.

“Yes,” you answer. “an hour ago.”

you watch the calculation ripple through them. this wasn’t leverage. this was detonation delayed. you didn’t escalate. you scheduled.

jaemin’s eyes flick to the screen, then back to you. understanding hits him all at once, sharp and awful.

“you didn’t,” he says.

“I did,” you reply. “to three places.”

sirens bloom in the distance, not close yet but coming. not rushing. inevitable.

the younger man swears under his breath. the older one recovers first, anger smoothing back into something colder.

“you think this saves you,” he says.

“It saves him,” you correct.

jaemin grabs your wrist, hard.

“you just signed your own sentence,” he says, low and furious.

you meet his gaze, steady.

“you were already sentenced,” you say. “i wasn’t letting you carry it alone.”

for the first time since you met him, jaemin looks afraid. not of them. of you.

“this was supposed to be my choice,” he says.

“no,” you answer softly. “this was always mine.”

movement erupts around you as the men start backing away, barking orders, recalculating exits. the bridge no longer feels neutral. it feels exposed. lights flash closer now, blue bleeding into the night.

the older man steps back, eyes never leaving you.

“you don’t understand what you’ve done,” he says.

you smile, small and tired.

“i understand exactly.”

jaemin pulls you closer, voice urgent.

“when this breaks,” he says, “they’ll come for you first.”

you nod.

“i know.”

sirens scream now, close enough to rattle metal. the younger man curses and runs. the others follow, scattering into shadow. the older man lingers one second longer, eyes locked on jaemin.

“this isn’t finished,” he says.

jaemin doesn’t answer.

when they’re gone, the bridge feels hollow. empty. too quiet after the noise. you finally exhale, knees threatening to buckle now that the choice is behind you.

jaemin catches you before you fall.

his hands are shaking.

“you shouldn’t have done that,” he says.

you lean into him, forehead pressing to his chest.

“neither should you,” you reply.

blue lights wash over you both as the first police car screeches to a stop at the end of the bridge. officers spill out, shouting commands. jaemin stiffens instinctively, calculating again.

you pull back just enough to meet his eyes.

“this is where we separate,” you say.

his gaze sharpens.

“no.”

“yes,” you insist. “you run. you disappear. you survive.”

“i’m not leaving you,” he snaps.

you smile sadly.

“you already stayed.”

footsteps pound closer. voices call out.

you take a step back from him, hands lifting slowly into the light.

jaemin’s face fractures.

“don’t,” he says.

you don’t look at the police.

you look at him.

“trust me,” you say.

and for the second time, he does. the night fractures all at once.

voices overlap. orders barked in french and english. blue lights strobe across the bridge, turning faces into sharp-edged versions of themselves. you keep your hands raised, breathing slow, deliberate. this part you know. this part has rules.

jaemin doesn’t move.

not when officers rush past him. not when someone grabs your arm. not when your wrists are cuffed with a practiced snap. his eyes stay locked on yours, wide and furious and breaking in real time.

“don’t let him stay,” you say, louder now, to no one and everyone. “he wasn’t part of it.”

someone shoves you forward. the words barely land. jaemin surges then, instinct finally overruling calculation.

“wait,” he shouts. “she didn’t—”

an officer blocks him. hands up. command voice. jaemin stops because stopping is what keeps people alive.

your gaze never leaves his.

this is the last clean second you get.

“run,” you mouth.

he shakes his head once, violently.

“i can’t,” he mouths back.

you’re pulled toward the car. the door opens. the world narrows to metal and glass and the sound of your own pulse. you twist just enough to look back.

that’s when you see it.

the older man hasn’t gone far. he stands at the far edge of the bridge, half in shadow, phone pressed to his ear. smiling.

you understand too late.

this was never about the police.

the shot cracks the air.

sharp. precise. final.

jaemin jerks forward, breath leaving him in a sound you don’t recognize. he stumbles, hand flying to his side, red blooming fast against his shirt. the world seems to tilt toward him, like everything wants to fall the same way.

“No,” you scream.

the sound tears out of you, raw and useless. officers shout. someone yells gun. bodies scatter. chaos blooms exactly as planned.

jaemin drops to one knee.

then the other.

you break.

you wrench free with a strength born of panic and inevitability, shoving past hands that try to stop you. someone grabs your shoulder. you twist, slip, stumble, don’t stop.

you hit the ground beside him hard.

blood is everywhere. too much. your hands shake as you press them to the wound, already knowing it won’t be enough.

“hey,” he breathes, surprised more than afraid. “you stayed.”

“don’t talk,” you say. “don’t—don’t you dare.”

his hand finds your wrist, slick and warm.

“you always do this,” he says faintly. “run toward the fire.”

tears blur your vision.

“stay with me,” you beg. “please.”

sirens scream closer. footsteps pound. the world closes in.

jaemin’s eyes search your face, desperate now, soft finally stripped bare.

“did you mean it,” he asks. “when you said you’d choose.”

you choke on a sob.

“Yes.”

his mouth curves, small and broken.

“then listen to me.”

you lean closer, pressing your forehead to his.

“they’re not done,” he whispers. “my family doesn’t lose clean.”

“I know,” you say.

“you can’t disappear anymore,” he continues. “they’ll come for you.”

“I know.”

his grip tightens for a second, then weakens.

“then finish it,” he says. “do what i couldn’t.”

the words land like a verdict.

you shake your head.

“I won’t be like them.”

his gaze holds yours, steady even now.

“you already are,” he says gently. “you just choose better targets.”

his hand slips from your wrist.

“No,” you whisper. “jaemin—”

his eyes glass, breath hitching once before going still.

the city exhales.

officers pull you back. hands drag you away as medics flood in, too late, always too late. you scream his name until your throat burns and the sound breaks into nothing.

later, much later, the bridge is quiet again.

they tell you he didn’t make it.

they tell you it was a stray shot.

they tell you a lot of things.

weeks pass.

then months.

paris goes on without you.

so do they.

you sit alone in a different city now, different name, different apartment. the news plays softly in the background. indictments. arrests. collapsed networks. familiar surnames dragged into the light.

you watch without reacting.

your phone vibrates.

unknown number.

one message.

we’re even.

you stare at the screen for a long time.

then you type back.

no.

you delete the phone.

you step out into the night.

and somewhere, in the quiet that follows, you finally understand the truth no one saw coming.

you didn’t escape the cycle.

you inherited it. the silence after a gunshot isn’t quiet. it’s crowded. it’s full of everything that didn’t get said. you learn that while sitting in a room that smells like disinfectant and old paper, hands wrapped around a cup you don’t drink from, answering questions you don’t listen to yourself say.

they ask for timelines. motives. names.

you give them pieces. never the whole.

they tell you he died quickly. they tell you it wasn’t your fault. they tell you the city is safer now.

you don’t correct them.

grief doesn’t arrive all at once. it comes in administrative tasks. signatures. forms. the sound of his name spoken by people who never learned how he laughed when he was tired. you sign where they point. you nod when they expect it. you walk when they tell you to.

at night, you don’t dream. you replay.

his voice on the bridge. the warmth of his hand. the way inevitability settled before the bullet ever did. you wake with your jaw clenched and your pulse steady. panic would be easier. panic ends. this doesn’t.

you leave paris quietly.

not running. relocating. temporarily.

you choose a city that doesn’t look like it knows your name. you rent a place with narrow windows and floors that creak like they’re remembering someone else. you unpack slowly. deliberately. you leave boxes half-open on purpose.

routine returns. that’s how you know it worked.

weeks later, a package arrives with no return address. it’s thin. heavy anyway. inside, a flash drive and a note written in a hand you recognize from a distance.

you were right about leverage.

you don’t plug it in right away. patience has become a skill. when you do, you don’t flinch.

ledgers. call logs. recordings. redundancies built to survive betrayal. jaemin’s voice appears once, brief, giving instructions without emotion.

if this opens, i didn’t make it.

your breath stutters. you keep going.

there’s a map. not of streets. of people. lines drawn between names like arteries. pressure points circled. collapse points marked clean and clinical.

he didn’t plan revenge.

he planned succession.

your phone vibrates. a different number this time. a different tone.

we need to talk.

you type back.

you’re late.

minutes pass. then:

you have something that belongs to us.

you smile without warmth.

no. i inherited it.

the reply comes slower now.

you think you can carry his weight.

you consider the question. the city outside hums, indifferent and alive. you think of the bridge. the choice. the cost.

watch me, you send.

you close the laptop. you stand. you pull on your coat.

this time, when you step into the night, you aren’t disappearing.

you’re arriving. the city you chose doesn’t feel like refuge. it feels like staging. everything is temporary again, but this time you’re the one deciding what stays and what burns. you learn the rhythm of the place quickly—when streets empty, where cameras blink, which cafés talk too much. anonymity is still possible. invisibility is not.

people reach out in cautious increments.

first a message with no ask attached. then a question disguised as concern. then a favor framed like coincidence. you answer none of them directly. you let silence do the sorting. those who need reassurance fade. those who need permission linger.

at night, you open the drive again.

you don’t watch everything. not yet. you skim. you map. you note redundancies and dead ends. jaemin’s planning is meticulous, almost tender in its restraint. he never wrote your name. not once. but everything points to you anyway, like the negative space in a photograph.

you find a folder marked bridges.

inside: timestamps, traffic patterns, audio files stripped of identifiers. one clip plays without warning—his voice, steady, instructing someone to wait, to let the test finish, to intervene only if the variables turn irreversible.

you close the file.

your phone vibrates.

unknown number, again.

they’re nervous.

you don’t reply.

you don’t have to do this, the message continues. you can walk away.

you think of the bridge, the way inevitability settled before the shot. you think of how walking away has never been neutral. you type one word.

no.

the typing bubble appears. disappears. appears again.

then tell us what you want.

you stare at the screen. the answer is simple. the answer is impossible.

control, you send.

the reply comes after a long pause.

that can be arranged.

you don’t smile. you don’t celebrate. arrangements are fragile. they exist to be broken by the person who understands their limits.

days pass. a meeting is proposed in a place that pretends to be public enough to feel safe. you agree without agreeing—suggest a change, then another, until the location bends toward your terms without anyone admitting it has.

when you arrive, you sit where the exits are visible. old habits don’t die. they evolve.

a woman sits across from you. calm. precise. grief tucked neatly behind professionalism. she doesn’t introduce herself.

“you have his files,” she says.

“Yes.”

“and his reach.”

“Yes.”

“you don’t have his protection.”

“No,” you reply. “i have his intention.”

that earns you a measured look.

“you think intention survives exposure.”

you lean back, steady.

“it survives inheritance.”

silence stretches. the woman studies you like she’s trying to find the fracture. you don’t give her one.

“what happens if we say no,” she asks.

you consider the answer.

“then the residue leaks,” you say. “slowly. carefully. everywhere.”

she exhales.

“you’re not trying to win.”

“No,” you answer. “i’m trying to finish.”

the woman nods once, decision settling.

“this won’t bring him back.”

you don’t look away.

“nothing does.”

the meeting ends without ceremony. outside, the city hums, unaware it’s been rerouted by inches.

that night, alone, you finally let yourself sit with the absence. not the pain—pain is familiar—but the shape he left behind. you trace it quietly, like a fault line that still warms the ground.

you whisper his name once.

then you close the window.

inheritance isn’t about blood.

it’s about what remains when everything else is gone.

you don’t sleep much after that. not because of fear, but because your mind won’t stop arranging things. conversations replay themselves with new meanings. pauses become signals. silence becomes instruction. you learn quickly that inheritance isn’t loud. it’s weight. it presses until something gives.

the city responds before people do. meetings shift locations at the last minute. cars idle too long outside buildings you haven’t entered yet. strangers look at you like they recognize a pattern they don’t want to name. you let them look. pressure works both ways.

you stop pretending this is temporary. the apartment changes because you change it. boxes get unpacked. surfaces cleared. everything unnecessary removed. you keep only what you need and one thing you don’t—the flash drive, tucked where your hand finds it without looking.

messages resume. careful ones. respectful ones. no demands yet. you answer some. you ignore others. you never answer immediately. timing is leverage. jaemin taught you that without ever meaning to.

one message stands out.

they’re splitting.

you read it twice. the network is thinning, drawing inward, trying to protect itself. collapse doesn’t happen all at once. it happens when everyone starts saving themselves.

you reply with a single word.

good.

it’s the second. always the second.

that night, you walk. not to escape. to observe. the city feels different when it knows you’re watching back. you pass reflections that don’t belong to you anymore. you pass couples who don’t know how fragile safety is. you don’t envy them. you don’t feel separate either. you feel positioned.

you stop at a bridge—not the one from before, never that one. a quieter span. water moving steadily beneath it. you rest your hands on the railing and breathe. for a moment, you let yourself remember his voice without turning it into instruction. the memory hurts. you keep it anyway.

your phone vibrates. a new number. local. brave.

we should talk. in person.

you consider the water, the way it keeps going no matter what’s dropped into it.

time and place, you type back.

the reply comes almost immediately.

tomorrow. you choose.

you smile, small and tired.

no, you send. you do. i’ll decide if i show up.

the typing bubble appears. disappears. appears again.

you’re making this difficult.

you pocket the phone and push off the railing. difficulty is the point. as you walk away, you feel it clearly now—the pressure building, the system bending around you, testing how much force you can take before you break or become something else entirely.

inheritance settles deeper, quieter, irreversible.morning arrives without ceremony. light spills across the floor in a thin stripe that tells you the city is awake and expects you to be, too. you drink coffee you don’t taste and read messages you don’t answer. the network keeps breathing. you keep counting.

a location drops into your phone an hour later. public enough to pretend safety. narrow enough to control exits. they’re learning. you note the time window, the foot traffic, the cameras that blink when they think no one’s paying attention. you don’t confirm. confirmation is consent.

you leave early anyway. not to arrive on time, but to arrive informed. you circle the block twice, letting the place reveal its habits. a delivery truck idles too long. a man pretends to tie his shoe near the entrance. a woman checks her reflection in the glass and never looks at herself.

inside, the air smells like citrus and old wood. you choose a table that puts your back to a wall and the exits in your peripheral. you don’t order. waiting is the order.

she arrives alone. that’s deliberate. calm face. neat coat. eyes that measure before they soften. she sits without asking.

“you came,” she says.

“I was curious,” you reply.

she nods like that was the correct answer.

“you’re changing things faster than we expected.”

“expectations are expensive,” you say. “they compound.”

her mouth tightens.

“you don’t have the reach he had.”

“not yet.”

silence stretches. you feel the room tilt toward listening.

“what do you want,” she asks again, slower.

you meet her gaze.

“a counterweight,” you say. “something that keeps the system from snapping back when pressure lifts.”

“you want authority.”

“No,” you answer. “i want friction.”

she considers that. you can see the math running. friction slows collapse. friction buys time.

“and if we refuse.”

you shrug lightly.

“then gravity does the work.”

her phone vibrates. she doesn’t look at it. you already know what it says. something moved. something slipped.

“you’re not him,” she says quietly.

“I know,” you reply. “he planned endings. i plan continuations.”

another pause. the delivery truck outside cuts its engine. the man by the door straightens. the woman in the glass checks nothing now.

“there will be conditions,” she says.

you stand, already done.

“there always are.”

she looks up at you, a flicker of something like respect crossing her face.

“we’ll be in touch.”

“you already are,” you say, and leave without waiting to be dismissed.

outside, the city resumes its ordinary noise. you breathe once, steady. counterweights don’t stop motion. they redirect it. and somewhere beneath the surface, the system shifts, adjusting to your presence like it has no choice. the faster things move, the more resistance you feel. not from enemies, but from gravity itself. favors accrue interest. silence attracts attention. every choice leaves a wake. you learn to read it in the way meetings shorten, in the way apologies arrive prewritten, in the way people stop asking if and start asking how.

you keep your circle empty. emptiness is aerodynamic. you don’t sit still long enough for anyone to claim proximity. hotels instead of leases. taxis instead of cars. you let the city blur until it forgets where you end and the motion begins.

a warning arrives disguised as courtesy.

we’re concerned about exposure.

you reply with a time. not a question. not a promise.

tomorrow. fifteen minutes.

they accept. of course they do. drag works best when everyone pretends it’s mutual.

the meeting space is too clean. glass, light, angles meant to reassure. you sit where reflections multiply faces into fragments. the man across from you speaks carefully, hands folded like he’s learned that calm is a performance.

“you’re creating instability,” he says.

“Yes,” you answer.

“that draws scrutiny.”

“scrutiny reveals rot,” you reply.

he exhales.

“you don’t have to carry this alone.”

you think of jaemin’s voice, the way he refused comfort because comfort was always conditional. you shake your head once.

“shared weight breaks beams,” you say. “single load bends.”

he watches you with something like unease.

“what happens when it bends too far.”

you stand.

“then it becomes a direction.”

outside, rain starts without warning. the city slicks itself smooth, reflections stretching like lies. you walk through it, letting the cold ground you. drag isn’t an obstacle. it’s information. it tells you what’s catching, what’s clinging, what refuses to let go.

your phone vibrates as you cross a street. a name you recognize now. a new tone.

we lost a node.

you slow, just a fraction.

how, you type.

internal.

you smile without warmth. internal failures are contagious. you pocket the phone and keep walking.

that night, you sit by a window and let the rain draw lines you don’t follow. you replay the bridge once, just once, and then you stop. memory is drag if you let it be. you won’t.

inheritance doesn’t ask for permission. it tests your tolerance for resistance and keeps going. you feel it before anyone says it out loud. paths tightening. timelines overlapping. the way conversations start referencing the same absence without coordinating. convergence isn’t loud. it’s efficient. it trims excess until only the necessary remains.

you receive three invitations in the same hour. different senders. same phrasing. different cities. same promise of resolution. you don’t answer any of them. you forward each to a different contact and wait to see which one panics first.

we should align, the message says.

you reply with a location that favors neither side. you arrive early and leave late, not because it matters, but because it signals patience. patience unnerves people who rely on urgency.

the room fills gradually. no one sits where they planned to. that tells you everything. alliances are already fraying, loyalty redistributed in small, quiet ways. you let them talk. you watch who interrupts and who takes notes. you mark the ones who glance at the door.

“this can stabilize,” someone says.

“temporarily,” you reply.

“with your cooperation.”

you tilt your head.

“cooperation implies parity.”

silence. then a careful smile.

“what do you want,” they ask again, like repetition might change the answer.

“convergence,” you say. “everything in one place. no shadows.”

they exchange looks. someone swallows. shadows are where they live.

“that’s dangerous,” another voice says.

“Yes,” you agree.

the meeting ends without consensus. that’s fine. convergence doesn’t require permission. it requires pressure applied evenly. you leave first. always leave first.

outside, the air feels thinner. your phone vibrates with updates that contradict each other just enough to reveal the truth. movements misaligned. orders crossed. someone jumped early. someone hesitated. the system tightens, confused by too many corrections at once.

you stop at a corner and breathe. this is the moment jaemin warned about without naming it. when momentum compresses and the next move decides whether things explode outward or collapse inward.

your phone buzzes again. a single line. they’re all coming. you type back without stopping. good.

you cross the street against the light. cars brake. horns flare. the city adjusts. convergence isn’t an event. it’s a choice repeated until the future has nowhere else to go.you choose the place because it refuses comfort. concrete, glass, echoes that don’t soften anything said inside them. neutral ground is a lie, but this comes close enough to make people careless. you arrive before anyone else and walk the perimeter twice, not to secure it but to let it learn you’re here. spaces behave differently once they’ve been noticed.

messages stack and unstack on your phone. confirmations that don’t confirm. warnings dressed as advice. someone asks if you need protection. you don’t reply. protection implies permission. you set the phone face down and breathe until your pulse matches the room.

they arrive in clusters. never alone. never together. you watch the choreography unfold—who waits for whom, who avoids eye contact, who speaks too loudly to mask fear. ignition isn’t about sparks. it’s about proximity. put enough volatile elements close and let physics do the rest.

a man clears his throat. a woman folds her hands. someone tries to smile.

“let’s begin,” you say, and the room stills because you didn’t ask.

they talk first, of course. about exposure and stability and the cost of noise. you let the words stack until they collapse under their own weight. when you finally speak, it’s quiet enough that everyone leans in.

“we’re done managing outcomes,” you say. “we’re resolving them.”

a murmur ripples. denial flickers. you tap the table once and the screens wake, one by one, lighting the room with a map that isn’t geography. names flare and dim. lines thicken. timestamps scroll. receipts breathe.

someone swears. someone reaches for a phone and stops.

“this is blackmail,” a voice says.

“No,” you reply. “this is ignition.”

you point to a node pulsing near the center.

“this one breaks first,” you say. “it already is.”

the room tightens. alliances snap to attention. people do math in their heads and realize too late they’re not holding the numbers they thought they were.

“you’ll burn everything,” someone says.

you meet their gaze.

“only what’s soaked.”

sirens bloom outside—not close, not yet, but close enough to shift posture. you feel the pressure peak and you lean into it, steady. ignition needs containment or it turns into spectacle. you give them both.

“we end this tonight,” you continue. “cleanly. on record. or i let gravity finish the job.”

silence. then nods. reluctant. inevitable.

you step back as signatures begin to land, digital and irreversible. the first confession posts itself quietly somewhere it can’t be deleted. the second follows. momentum catches.

your phone vibrates once. a single name. then a dot. then nothing.

you don’t look. you already know what ignition feels like. it’s the moment resistance turns into heat and the future lights itself. the room empties without ceremony. people leave in pairs that won’t last and alone in ways that will. no one looks back at you. they don’t need to. gravity has already claimed them. you power down the screens one by one and the light drains from the walls, leaving the concrete honest again.

outside, the night is louder now. sirens closer. engines idling with purpose. you walk anyway, unhurried, coat pulled tight against a wind that smells like rain and consequences. fallout isn’t the explosion. it’s the quiet after when everyone checks what still works.

your phone lights up as you cross the street. updates arrive in clipped bursts. resignations. detentions. a warrant signed by someone who finally decided to be brave when it was safe. the network sheds weight fast, desperate to survive the burn. you don’t reply. you let the shedding continue.

you stop beneath an awning and breathe. your hands are steady. that surprises you. you think of the bridge and the way steadiness arrived there too, right before everything broke. you don’t flinch from the memory. you file it where it belongs.

a message cuts through the noise. not a number. a name you didn’t expect to see again.

they’re saying it was him.

you type back with your thumb, precise.

they always do.

they want a face, the reply comes. a story.

you smile faintly. stories are how systems forgive themselves.

give them the architecture, you send. faces age. structures collapse.

the typing bubble appears. disappears.

you’re colder than he was.

you pause, just long enough to be honest.

no, you reply. i’m still here.

the rain starts, fine and insistent. the city blurs at the edges, lights stretching into long, uncertain lines. you walk through it and let the water slick your path clean. fallout doesn’t erase. it reveals what was already unstable.

later, alone, you open the drive one last time and mark files complete. not closed. complete. there’s a difference. you shut the laptop and sit with the hum of the building, the way it remembers people who left and learned nothing.

you learned.

outside, the city recalibrates, stumbling into a new equilibrium it didn’t choose but can’t refuse. and somewhere in the quiet between sirens, you feel it settle—the weight of what remains, the shape of what comes next. fallout is survivable. it always has been. the news cycle chews and spits. headlines flatten complexity into appetite-sized truths. experts talk about collapse like it was weather, unavoidable and nobody’s fault. you watch for five minutes, then mute it. afterimages are louder when you don’t look straight at them.

people test the perimeter again. softer this time. offers wrapped in apologies. apologies wrapped in fear. you accept none of it. you don’t need loyalty. you need distance that understands its place.

you move apartments without drama. same city, different altitude. higher floors. wider sightlines. you don’t hide; you reposition. the building learns you quickly, settling around your habits like it knows better than to ask questions.

one night, you find yourself standing at a window you didn’t choose on purpose. glass reflects a version of you that feels familiar and not. older. steadier. the kind of person who doesn’t look away when the shape of things changes. you lift a hand and touch the pane, not for comfort—for calibration.

a knock arrives at an hour that means intention. you don’t ask who it is. you already know. the woman from before steps inside when you open the door, rain on her coat, composure intact.

“it’s stabilizing,” she says.

“For now,” you reply.

She nods. “They want to know what you’ll do with it.”

You consider the city breathing beneath you, the lines redrawn just enough to hold. “Nothing,” you say. “I’ll let it keep moving.”

“That’s a choice,” she notes.

“Yes.”

She studies you, then leaves without another word. no threats. no promises. the afterimage lingers anyway—power doesn’t disappear; it imprints.

later, alone, you sit on the floor with the lights off and let memory pass without grabbing it. jaemin’s laugh surfaces once, soft and brief, like a reflection in water that doesn’t break the surface. you keep breathing. you let it go.

outside, sirens fade into distance. the city settles into its new math. you stand, pull on your coat, and step back into motion. afterimages don’t haunt forever. they guide, until the next shape forms and asks to be met. you stop counting days. time only matters when it can be leveraged, and right now it’s doing its own work beneath the surface. the city moves with a new caution, like it’s learned what happens when pressure is ignored. you feel the undertow in small ways—meetings canceled without explanation, names removed from directories overnight, routes changing themselves before you commit to them.

you keep walking. motion disguises intent. you choose places that don’t care who you are and streets that don’t remember faces for long. anonymity isn’t invisibility anymore; it’s consent. the city agrees to let you pass because you don’t ask it for more.

a message arrives just before dusk.

someone’s pulling the thread back.

you don’t ask who. threads only get pulled by people who think they’re still holding the fabric together. you reply with a location that’s inconvenient and a time that’s worse. if they show up, you’ll know how desperate they are.

they do.

the café is half-full and loud enough to blur edges. the man sits across from you without greeting, eyes too alert for someone pretending calm. he talks fast. mistakes speed for strength.

“you destabilized everything,” he says.

“Yes,” you answer.

“and now there’s a vacuum.”

you sip your drink.

“vacuums collapse,” you say. “they don’t get filled.”

he leans forward.

“we can help you manage it.”

you meet his gaze.

“you already tried,” you reply. “it didn’t hold.”

his jaw tightens. you see the fear now, bright and inconvenient.

“you’re not protected,” he says.

you tilt your head.

“from what.”

he hesitates. that’s the answer.

outside, the light shifts. evening settles like a held breath. you stand, leaving money on the table you didn’t order from.

“tell whoever sent you,” you say, “that pulling back isn’t possible. only through.”

you leave him there, words catching in his throat. undertow doesn’t look dramatic. it just keeps pulling until resistance becomes exhaustion.

later, walking home, you feel it tug again—stronger now. something old trying to surface. a name you haven’t heard spoken aloud since the bridge. you stop at a corner and breathe through the ache, letting it pass without becoming instruction.

inheritance hums, patient and persistent. you don’t fight the current. you learn how to move with it. night presses closer to the streets now, thicker and slower, like the city itself is wading instead of walking. you feel watched again, not hunted—evaluated. that’s worse. evaluation means someone still believes there’s a lever they haven’t tried. you let them believe it. belief burns energy.

you take a longer route home and notice the details you used to ignore: a storefront closed earlier than usual, a light left on in an empty office, a car that turns when you do and then pretends it didn’t. undertow doesn’t announce itself. it tightens quietly, testing your footing.

your phone buzzes once. a single sentence.

they want to make it personal.

you stop under a streetlamp and type back without hesitation.

it already is.

the reply doesn’t come. that tells you enough. when messages stop, plans start moving. you adjust without drama—change direction, step into a crowded bar you don’t plan to stay in, exit through the back into a lane that smells like spilled beer and rain. the car misses you by seconds. timing matters.

back in your apartment, you don’t turn on the lights. you sit with the window cracked, listening to the city breathe. you think of jaemin—not the bridge, not the blood, but the way he used to pause before speaking, like he was weighing impact. you do the same now. every word you don’t say is a counterweight.

another knock comes later. not urgent. not polite. you don’t answer. the knock repeats once, then stops. footsteps retreat. the undertow tests again and finds no purchase.

you open the drive and scan a file you marked complete weeks ago. not to act—just to remember the architecture. structures fail in predictable ways. people don’t. that’s where the danger hides.

a final message arrives near dawn.

we can make this stop.

you smile faintly, tired but steady, and type the truth.

it already has. you’re just catching up.

when the sun lifts, pale and indifferent, the city looks almost kind. undertow recedes when daylight arrives, but you know better than to mistake that for safety. it will return. it always does. and when it does, you’ll be ready—not to fight it, but to let it pull the last weak pieces free. you find the seam by accident. that’s how they usually reveal themselves—not when you’re looking for power, but when you’re checking for frays. a document mislabeled. a transfer timestamp that doesn’t align. a name that appears twice where it shouldn’t. you stop walking in the middle of the sidewalk and let the city flow around you while the pattern locks into place.

the seam isn’t a person. it’s a promise. something agreed to long ago and never revisited because it worked too well. you feel the old pressure try to reassert itself, the undertow tugging at your ankles. you don’t pull back. you step closer. seams only split when you load them correctly.

your phone vibrates. the same contact as before. different tone.

we need to correct an oversight.

you type with one hand while crossing the street against the light.

oversights correct themselves when they’re named.

a pause. longer than usual. that’s the tell.

what do you want for it, the message finally comes.

you stop beneath a marquee flickering between letters and think of jaemin’s voice, careful and exact. you don’t ask for safety. you don’t ask for forgiveness. you ask for structure.

sunset clause, you reply. written.

another pause. cars hiss past. rain starts again, light and indecisive.

that affects people you don’t know, they answer.

you smile faintly.

it affects people who think they won.

the response arrives fast now. urgency bleeds through the words.

we’ll draft something.

you keep walking.

send it when it’s real, you reply. i don’t read intentions.

later, in your apartment, you lay the documents side by side and trace the seam with a fingertip. this is where momentum changes direction. not with noise, but with paperwork. not with blood, but with endings that know how to expire.

you think of the bridge once, brief and contained. then you let it go. seams don’t heal by remembering the tear. they heal by reinforcing the edge. the draft arrives at dusk. not as an attachment, but as a link that pretends it could vanish if you don’t click fast enough. you wait an hour. urgency is a tell. when you open it, you read slowly, line by line, letting the language reveal what it’s trying to hide. sunset clauses are delicate things. they don’t end power; they schedule its decay.

you mark three sections and send them back without comment. ten minutes later, the link refreshes. someone is working harder than they want you to notice. you mark one more line and add a date that makes a few futures impossible.

your phone buzzes.

that date won’t hold.

you type back.

then nothing does.

silence. then the link updates again. the date holds. expiration isn’t mercy. it’s physics. you feel the system accept it the way structures accept load—quietly, with a groan you only hear if you’re listening.

outside, the city changes shift. shops close. lights soften. you step out and walk until the air cools your face. people pass you with ordinary concerns, unaware that a clock just started ticking somewhere they’ll never see. you don’t resent them. normalcy needs scaffolding, and someone has to mind it.

a message arrives from a different number.

he would have hated this.

you stop under a tree stripped nearly bare. you don’t ask who sent it. you know.

no, you reply. he would have checked the math.

the typing bubble flickers, then disappears. some conversations end cleanly when you don’t let them become apologies.

back home, you close the document and file it where you keep things that are meant to run out. you don’t celebrate. expiration only matters if you’re still here when it arrives. you set a reminder anyway.

that night, you dream of a bridge you never stand on. water moves beneath it, steady and indifferent. you wake without panic. some endings work even in sleep. the effect isn’t immediate. that’s how you know it’s working. power rarely collapses in public; it shrinks in private until the people holding it can’t remember where it went. calls stop coming from certain numbers. invitations arrive later, phrased more carefully, like they’re afraid of leaving fingerprints. you let the lag grow. delay teaches restraint better than punishment ever could.

you notice it in the margins. budgets tighten. favors get smaller. people who used to speak in certainties start asking questions instead. diminishing returns aren’t dramatic. they’re humiliating. you walk through them without comment, letting the system feel its own weight.

a message arrives from someone you haven’t heard from since before the bridge.

you still breathing.

you reply after a minute.

yes.

thought you’d be gone by now.

you consider the city outside, the way it keeps accommodating you without asking why.

i learned how to stay, you type.

the reply doesn’t come. that’s fine. some people only reach out to confirm their own survival.

you spend the afternoon auditing the expiration again, not because you expect betrayal, but because maintenance is part of inheritance. clauses decay if they aren’t checked. you adjust one timeline by a week. the ripple moves outward, quiet and corrective.

later, you walk past a shop window and catch your reflection. there’s no triumph in it. no softness either. just accuracy. you think of jaemin’s last instruction, the way he framed inevitability as something you could choose to wield instead of fear. you hold that thought lightly. tools last longer when they aren’t idolized.

at dusk, a final message arrives from the woman who used to negotiate like a shield.

they’re standing down.

you don’t ask who.

good, you reply.

the city exhales. somewhere, a lever is released. somewhere else, someone realizes too late that leverage has an end date. diminishing returns settle in like dusk—unavoidable, unremarkable, complete. nothing announces the change. that’s how you know it’s real. the city doesn’t flinch, doesn’t rearrange itself to accommodate drama. it just keeps going, lighter somehow, like a structure relieved of unnecessary weight. quiet load is what remains when pressure is redistributed and nobody admits it out loud.

you stop receiving updates altogether. not because nothing is happening, but because nothing needs permission anymore. systems that relied on urgency lose their voice when time stops responding. you let the silence stretch. silence teaches people where they stand.

you return to places you avoided before. a park near the river. a corner bakery that opens too early. familiarity doesn’t bite the way it used to. you learn the difference between memory and threat. one lingers. the other demands. you keep only what lingers.

a package appears at your door without a note. inside, a single key and an address written in a careful hand. you don’t rush. you wait until evening, until the city is busy enough to be uninterested. the address leads you to a storage unit that smells like dust and patience.

inside, there’s nothing dramatic. no weapons. no money. just folders labeled with dates that haven’t happened yet. contingencies aging quietly, meant to be touched only if needed. you close the door and leave the key where it belongs. some safeguards work best when they’re never activated.

on the walk home, you pass a bridge and don’t slow. water moves beneath it, indifferent as ever. you realize the ache you’ve been carrying has changed shape. it’s not lighter. it’s quieter. that’s survivable.

at home, you sit on the floor with the lights off and breathe until the room settles around you. quiet load doesn’t demand attention. it asks for maintenance. you’re good at that now. the quiet doesn’t last. it never does. you feel the change before the message arrives—the way the air tightens, the way timing sharpens into intention. maintenance has a cost, and someone has decided to collect. the city holds its breath like it remembers this feeling.

the message is short. stripped of politeness.

tonight. final accounting.

you don’t ask where. you already know. the place that knowing always circles back to when people think they can end things cleanly. you pull on your coat and leave without checking the mirror. reflections don’t help at crests.

the venue is lit too brightly, like they want clarity. glass everywhere. exits labeled. a lie told with confidence. you arrive exactly when you mean to, not when they asked. timing still belongs to you.

they’re all there. not the loud ones. the careful ones. the people who survive collapses by pretending they were never inside them. eyes lift when you enter. conversations stop. the room tilts.

“this was supposed to be finished,” someone says.

“it is,” you reply. “this is the receipt.”

screens wake at your gesture. not with revelations—those are old news—but with sequences. causality laid bare. the seam you found stitches itself into a pattern no one can deny. names disappear as quickly as they appear. not erased. expired.

voices rise. objections form and die. someone reaches for authority and finds it empty. the crest arrives like a wave you don’t dodge. you stand where it breaks and let it pass through.

“you don’t get to decide the ending,” a voice snaps, brittle now.

you meet it evenly.

“i didn’t,” you say. “i scheduled it.”

sirens bloom outside, closer than before. not for you. never for you. for the last pieces that refused to decay quietly. the room shifts as understanding lands. people step back from you like proximity itself has become risky.

you think of jaemin—not the blood, not the bridge—but the math. the patience. the way he trusted you to finish without becoming loud. you hold that thought steady as the crest peaks.

papers are signed. calls are made. a structure exhales and settles into something smaller, safer, irreversible. when it’s done, no one applauds. applause is for spectacle. this was architecture.

you leave before anyone asks you to stay. outside, the night feels charged, electric with consequence. the city starts moving again, faster now, relieved. the crest has passed. the drop is coming. you walk into it with your shoulders squared, ready for whatever the fall asks of you. the fall isn’t free. it’s controlled, deliberate, the kind that happens when momentum finally agrees with gravity. you feel it in the way phones light up all at once and then go quiet forever. in the way people stop pretending they didn’t know. in the way names lose their power the moment they’re spoken aloud.

outside the building, the night exhales again. rain slicks the pavement like it’s erasing chalk lines. you walk until the noise thins and the city returns to its ordinary indifference. this is the dangerous part—not the chaos, but the calm that follows it. endings invite replacements.

your phone vibrates once. not a warning. a location pin. no message. no ask. you don’t answer. you turn it face down and keep walking. if they want you, they’ll say why. if they don’t, the silence will do.

you stop at a river and watch the current take what it’s given without argument. you think of the bridge again, briefly, and then you don’t. memory has learned its place. it doesn’t drive anymore. it observes.

two days later, you leave work early for the first time since arriving in paris.

you don’t announce it. you don’t explain. you just feel that tightening in your chest again — the one that says now. you gather your things and head for the exit, pulse quickening with every step.

you almost make it out.

“hey.”

the voice is soft. familiar.

you stop before you can talk yourself out of it.

jaemin stands a few feet away, hands relaxed at his sides, expression careful. not casual. not guarded. something in between.

“are you okay?” he asks.

the question lands heavier than it should.

you consider lying. it would be easy. you’ve had practice.

instead, you say, “i don’t think i should be here right now.”

he nods slowly, like he understands more than you’ve said. “yeah. i figured.”

you blink. “you did?”

“you’re not subtle when something’s wrong,” he says, not unkindly. “you just get… quieter.”

that shouldn’t matter.

it does.

there’s a pause. not awkward. loaded.

“can i walk you?” he asks. “at least part of the way.”

you hesitate.

every instinct you have is divided — half of you screaming to keep distance, the other half exhausted from doing it alone. you don’t want protection. you don’t want obligation.

you just don’t want to feel like prey.

“okay,” you say finally. “just a bit.”

you walk side by side, not touching, not speaking much. the city hums around you, indifferent as ever. it’s strange how normal it feels — two people walking home, nothing remarkable about it.

and yet, you’re acutely aware of him. the way he matches your pace without thinking. the way his attention stays outward, scanning reflections and corners while his body stays angled toward you.

it’s not obvious.

it’s practiced.

“that guy,” he says suddenly. “from the other day.”

your shoulders tense.

“i don’t think he was random.”

you exhale. “neither do i.”

he glances at you, careful. “do you want to talk about it?”

you shake your head immediately. “no.”

he accepts it just as quickly. “okay.”

the relief is immediate — sharp and unexpected.

“but,” he adds gently, “if he comes back… you shouldn’t handle it alone.”

you stop walking.

“why?” you ask. not accusatory. searching.

jaemin meets your gaze fully now. you don’t talk about it right away, about the man. about the way jaemin stepped in without asking. about the fact that he hasn’t looked at you the same since. instead, you both pretend there’s still room for distance — that whatever shifted can be pressed back into place if you ignore it long enough.

it works.

for a day.

then you find yourself standing outside your building at dusk, keys in hand, staring at the door like it might open on its own. the street is quiet in that suspended parisian way — not empty, just waiting.

jaemin appears beside you without warning. not close. not touching. just there.

“you made it home,” he says.

it’s not a question.

you nod. “i always do.”

he studies you for a moment, like he’s deciding whether to believe that. then he exhales, slow and measured.

“we should talk.” your stomach tightens. “about what?”

“about us not pretending anymore.”

that lands harder than you expect.

you unlock the door and step inside before you can overthink it. he follows, careful, like he’s aware this is already crossing a line. your apartment smells faintly like coffee and rain-soaked fabric. it feels too small suddenly.

you don’t offer him a seat.

neither of you sits.

“i don’t want you to misunderstand,” he says, voice calm but deliberate. “i’m not trying to pull you into anything.”

you let out a quiet laugh. “a little late for that.”

his mouth curves — not amused, not quite a smile. “that’s exactly what i mean.”

silence stretches. the kind that forces honesty out of you whether you’re ready or not.

“i can’t do emotional,” you say finally. the words feel practiced. “i can’t do promises. i’m not staying in paris forever.”

“neither am i,” he replies immediately.

you glance at him, surprised. something about the speed of his answer makes your chest ache.

“then we’re clear,” you say, a little too quickly. “whatever this is — it’s temporary.”

he nods. “temporary.”

another pause.

“and uncomplicated,” you add.

he doesn’t answer right away. when he does, his voice is lower. “i don’t think anything involving either of us gets to be uncomplicated.”

that feels too close to truth.

you shake your head. “i’m serious, jaemin. i’m not in a place to be good for anyone. i don’t want expectations. i don’t want to owe anyone anything.”

his gaze sharpens — not angry, not defensive. focused.

“i don’t want to own you,” he says quietly. “or be owned.”

your breath stutters.

“good,” you say. “because i don’t belong to anyone.”

“i know,” he replies. and something about the way he says it — like he understands exactly what that costs — makes your chest tighten.

you move first.

not toward him. away. you lean against the counter, arms folded, grounding yourself in the cool surface. distance feels safer, even now.

“we set rules,” you say. “clear ones.”

“okay.”

“no pasts.”

he nods. “no pasts.”

“no future.”

his jaw tightens slightly. “no future.”

“no explanations,” you add. “no questions we’re not ready to answer.”

he hesitates — just a fraction. then, “agreed.”

you swallow. “and if this starts to feel like more than that—”

“we stop,” he finishes.

the words hang between you, fragile and false.

because you both know how rarely people stop once something has started.

“this isn’t about fixing anything,” you say, softer now. “it’s just… proximity. relief.”

“control,” he adds quietly.

you meet his eyes then. really meet them. the softness is there — the gentleness, the restraint — but underneath it, something burns steady and dangerous.

“you sure you want this?” you ask.

he steps closer. not touching. never touching without permission.

“i’m sure i don’t want to pretend i didn’t choose it.”

your heart pounds.

this isn’t romance. it isn’t hope. it’s an agreement made between two people who know better than to believe in clean outcomes.

“no strings,” you say one last time.

“no strings,” he echoes.

the lie settles comfortably between you.

outside, paris hums on — indifferent, complicit, already aware that rules like these are made to be broken. the rules don’t change anything.

that’s what you tell yourself the next morning, standing in front of the mirror with your toothbrush paused mid-air, staring at a version of yourself that looks too composed for how loudly your chest is beating. no strings. temporary. control. the words feel neat. contained.

your body doesn’t listen.

you go to work like nothing happened. the city does you the courtesy of pretending along with you. streets look familiar again. cafés smell like coffee instead of threat. for a few hours, you almost believe you’re back in charge.

then you see jaemin.

he’s across the room, sleeves rolled to his forearms, hair falling softer than it should for someone who talks the way he does. he doesn’t look at you right away. when he does, it’s brief. professional. contained.

you hate the relief that floods you.

you hate it more when someone else makes him laugh.

it’s not loud. not flirtatious. just a moment — a coworker leaning in, saying something under her breath, jaemin’s mouth curving before he can stop it. it shouldn’t matter. you’ve agreed it doesn’t.

your jaw tightens anyway.

you turn back to your screen, fingers moving too fast, thoughts snagging on things they shouldn’t. no strings, you remind yourself. you don’t get to care. you don’t get to catalogue who stands too close or who knows his coffee order.

apparently, you do it anyway.

jaemin feels it too — the shift, the static in the air. he keeps himself measured, deliberate, careful not to seek you out. that was part of the agreement, even if it wasn’t spoken aloud. space. deniability. distance.

it doesn’t stop him from noticing when you don’t look at him at all.

you’re quieter than usual today. sharper. he recognizes the signs now — the way you disappear into yourself when something’s off, the way you move like you’re bracing for impact that never comes.

it bothers him more than it should.

he tells himself it’s nothing. friction is expected. rules create resistance by design. this is what you both wanted: clean lines, no complications.

still, when he sees a man from another department linger at your desk longer than necessary, something inside him tightens.

not anger.

calculation.

he watches the interaction like he’s assessing risk — distance, body language, exits. the man leaves eventually, smiling too easily. you don’t notice jaemin at all.

that makes it worse.

later, in the break room, you reach for the coffee pot at the same time.

your fingers brush.

it’s accidental. brief. barely there.

you both pull back like you’ve been burned.

“sorry,” you say automatically.

“yeah,” he replies, just as reflexive.

silence crowds the small space. the hum of the fridge feels too loud. you pour your coffee with shaking hands, annoyed at yourself for it.

“you don’t have to avoid me,” he says quietly.

you stiffen. “i’m not.”

he studies you — not accusing, not amused. honest. “you are.”

you exhale slowly. “i’m just… sticking to what we agreed.”

his gaze softens, but something sharper flickers beneath it. “so am i.”

that’s the problem.

the rest of the day passes in near-misses and almosts. conversations that start and stop. looks held half a second too long, then broken. you’re hyperaware of each other in a way that makes everything else feel dull by comparison.

by the time evening comes, your nerves are shot.

you leave work without saying goodbye, pace quickening as soon as you’re outside. the city feels closer tonight — buildings leaning in, streets narrowing. you tell yourself you’re imagining it.

a familiar presence falls into step beside you.

“you forgot your umbrella,” jaemin says, holding it out.

you stop short. rain dots the pavement like a warning.

“thanks,” you murmur, taking it. your fingers linger around the handle longer than necessary. neither of you lets go right away.

he releases first.

“walk with me,” he says. not a request. not a command. an invitation you’re already tired of refusing.

“we said—”

“i know what we said,” he cuts in gently. “this doesn’t have to be anything.”

the lie again. comfortable. dangerous.

you nod once.

you walk together under the umbrella, shoulders close but not touching, the space between you loud with things unsaid. rain blurs the city into streaks of light and shadow. it would be easy to pretend this is normal.

it isn’t.

halfway down the block, you stop suddenly.

jaemin reacts instantly — turning, scanning, body angling in front of you without thinking. it’s over in a second. the softness drops. what replaces it is calm, controlled, lethal in its restraint.

there’s nothing there.

no footsteps. no shadow. just the city breathing.

you stare at him, pulse roaring in your ears.

he realizes what he’s done at the same moment you do.

he steps back, mask snapping into place. “sorry.”

you shake your head, words failing you.

that wasn’t softness.

that was instinct.

you resume walking, heart racing, mind spiraling. who are you? the question sits on your tongue, heavy and dangerous. you don’t ask it.

he doesn’t offer answers.

when you reach your building, you stop under the awning, rain pounding down harder now. neither of you moves to leave.

“this isn’t supposed to feel like this,” you say quietly.

jaemin looks at you — really looks — and for the first time since setting the rules, something like conflict crosses his face.

“no,” he agrees. “it isn’t.”

you stand there, close enough to feel his warmth, the city pressing in around you, rules fraying at the edges.

nothing happens.

and somehow, that feels worse than if it had. after that night, jaemin keeps his distance.

not the careful kind. the intentional kind.

he doesn’t walk you home. doesn’t linger in doorways. doesn’t stand too close in rooms that suddenly feel smaller than they used to. at work, he’s polite and contained, all soft edges and professional distance, like the umbrella walk never happened.

you should be relieved.

you’re not.

the absence is louder than his presence ever was. you catch yourself listening for footsteps that don’t follow, glancing up when you think you feel eyes on you and finding nothing. it makes you restless. irritable. you hate that you notice

you hate that you miss it.

you throw yourself into work harder than usual, focus narrowing until the rest of the world blurs. it almost works. almost. until the building’s fire alarm goes off without warning.

it’s shrill and sudden and too close.

your body reacts before thought can intervene.

the room tilts. your breath locks in your chest. the sound becomes everything — overlapping, relentless — dragging you somewhere you don’t want to be. you stumble back, heart hammering, palms slick with sweat.

someone touches your arm.

you flinch hard enough to nearly swing.

“hey—”

jaemin’s voice cuts through the noise, low and steady. his hand releases you instantly, palms open, visible.

“it’s me,” he says. “you’re okay. it’s just the alarm.”

you shake your head, breath coming too fast, eyes unfocused. you’re not here — not really. the past presses in, sharp and suffocating, and you can’t make it stop.

jaemin steps closer anyway. not touching. grounding himself in your line of sight.

“look at me,” he says gently. not commanding. anchoring. “you’re in paris. you’re safe. breathe with me.”

you don’t realize you’re following his count until your lungs start cooperating again. the alarm cuts off. voices resume. someone laughs nervously nearby.

the world snaps back into place.

your hands are still shaking.

“sorry,” you murmur automatically.

he frowns. “don’t.”

the word is quiet but firm.

people begin filing out of the room, assuming the moment has passed. jaemin stays. waits. when you finally look up at him fully, something in his expression tightens — not fear. not pity.

recognition.

“do you want to step outside?” he asks.

you nod.

the hallway is cooler. quieter. your pulse is still racing, but the edge has dulled. jaemin leans against the wall opposite you, giving you space while still blocking the flow of people.

“that wasn’t nothing,” he says.

you press your lips together. “i’m fine.”

he watches you for a long moment. then, carefully, “you don’t have to lie to me.”

that shouldn’t make your throat close.

it does.

“we had rules,” you say instead. “remember?”

his jaw tightens. “i remember.”

“then don’t do that,” you say, sharper than you mean to. “don’t step in. don’t—” you trail off, frustrated, breath hitching again. “don’t see things.”

silence stretches.

jaemin straightens slowly. when he speaks, his voice is different — stripped of softness, measured and low.

“i don’t turn that off,” he says. “i just control it.”

your heart stutters.

you study him — the calm posture, the relaxed shoulders, the eyes that miss nothing. suddenly, the gentleness doesn’t feel like kindness. it feels like discipline.

“you’re not normal,” you say quietly.

he exhales through his nose. “neither are you.”

the words land between you like a confession neither of you planned to make.

“this is why we set boundaries,” you whisper. “because people like us don’t get clean lines.”

he steps closer before he can stop himself. not touching. never touching without permission.

“then say the word,” he murmurs. “and i’ll walk away.”

you search his face — looking for manipulation, for expectation, for anything you can use as an excuse to leave.

you don’t find it.

you find restraint. barely holding.

your pulse pounds in your ears. the hallway feels too narrow, the air too thick.

“don’t,” you say instead. not a command. a plea.

something in him snaps — not violently, not loudly. just enough.

he reaches out and cups your wrist, gentle but sure, grounding you to the present. the contact sends a jolt straight through you, sharp and electric.

“you’re here,” he says softly. “that’s all.”

you don’t pull away.

for one suspended second, the world narrows to breath and warmth and the dangerous understanding that this — this — is exactly how lines disappear.

someone clears their throat nearby.

jaemin releases you instantly, stepping back, mask sliding into place with practiced ease.

the moment fractures.

you’re both breathing harder than before.

“this can’t happen again,” you say.

he nods. “i know.”

neither of you believes it.

later that night, alone in your apartment, you stare at the spot on your wrist where his hand rested, skin still warm, nerves still humming.

across the city, jaemin stands at his window, phone dark in his hand, replaying the moment his control slipped — not because of danger.

because of you.

the city watches. patient. satisfied.

cracks don’t mean collapse.

they mean something is about to give. you don’t plan the conversation. it happens because avoiding it starts to feel worse than saying the wrong thing. you’re standing in your kitchen with the window cracked open, city noise drifting in, when your phone lights up with his name. you stare at it longer than necessary before answering.

“can i come up,” jaemin asks, voice even. not hopeful. not demanding.

you hesitate. then, “yeah.”

he arrives minutes later, rain dampening his jacket, hair darker at the edges. neither of you mentions the hallway, the alarm, the way his hand felt around your wrist. you stand on opposite sides of the room like you’re negotiating a ceasefire.

“we need to be clear,” you say first. your voice sounds steadier than you feel. “about what this is.”

“okay,” he replies. he doesn’t move closer. that matters.

“this can’t be emotional,” you continue. “no checking in. no questions about before. no expectations about after.” you swallow. “no future.”

he nods once. “temporary.”

“no pasts,” you add quickly. “no explanations.”

“no explanations,” he echoes.

you breathe out. the rules line up neatly, almost comforting. you hate how much relief you feel.

“if it starts to feel like more,” you say, “we stop.”

he considers that longer than you want him to. then, “we stop.”

silence settles, heavy but charged. the city hums through the open window, complicit.

“this isn’t about romance,” you say, as if naming it will make it true. “it’s just… release. proximity. something to take the edge off.”

“control,” he says quietly.

you meet his eyes. the softness is there, but it’s taut now, stretched over something disciplined and dangerous.

“consent matters,” you add. “always.”

“always,” he agrees.

you step closer. not touching. testing the air. “and no one gets owned.”

his mouth tilts, almost a smile. “i wouldn’t.”

you nod. “then say it.”

“no strings attached,” he says.

“say it again.”

“no strings,” he repeats, voice low.

the lie slides into place between you, smooth and convincing. you close the distance then, slow enough to stop, close enough to feel his warmth. he waits. you lean in. your forehead brushes his, breath tangling. nothing else happens. not yet. the restraint is deliberate, trembling.

“if we do this,” you murmur, “we don’t undo it with guilt.”

“we don’t undo it,” he says.

you pull back first. it feels like tearing. “not tonight.”

he nods, understanding without asking. “not tonight.”

when he leaves, the room feels smaller. later, alone, you realize the agreement didn’t make you safer. it just made the fall optional. it happens the next night, even though you both said not tonight. even though you meant it. the city decides otherwise. the rain comes down hard and sudden, drumming against your windows like a dare, and when your phone lights up with his name you don’t pretend you don’t know why he’s calling. you let it ring twice before answering.

“come up,” you say, already knowing he will. when he steps inside, water clinging to him, the air shifts immediately. no small talk. no rehearsed calm. you stand there, facing each other, rules stacked neatly between you like a fragile barrier.

“we’re clear,” you say, voice low. “still no strings.” “still,” he agrees, eyes dark, steady. you move first this time. not fast. not reckless. deliberate. your hands find his jacket, fingers curling in the fabric, feeling the heat beneath it. he exhales like he’s been holding his breath all day. his hands hover at your waist, asking without words. you nod once. that’s all it takes. the kiss is quiet and devastating, mouths fitting together with a familiarity that shouldn’t exist yet. it’s not sweet. it’s controlled, restrained, like both of you are afraid of what happens if you let go all the way. his hand slides to the back of your neck, thumb warm against your skin, grounding, anchoring. your breath tangles, heart racing, the world narrowing to the press of bodies and the rain outside. you break apart only to press your forehead to his, both of you breathing hard.

“we can stop,” he murmurs. you shake your head. “don’t.”

that’s permission. it escalates without hurry, clothing discarded in quiet urgency, touches exploratory but certain. his hands are careful even when the need sharpens, like he’s constantly checking himself, checking you. when he finally pulls you closer, it’s with a restraint that makes it burn hotter, like he’s choosing control over instinct and losing anyway. the moment itself is messy and grounding, all heat and breath and whispered reminders to stay here, stay present. it’s not romantic. it’s necessary. afterward, the room settles into a heavy quiet. you lie beside each other without touching for a long moment, staring at the ceiling, hearts still racing. the rules sit between you again, frayed. he turns his head slightly.

“we’re still clear,” he says, like he needs to hear it.

“we’re clear,” you answer,

even as the lie tastes different now. outside, the rain finally eases, and neither of you sleeps. morning comes quietly, like it’s afraid of waking you.

the rain has stopped sometime before dawn, leaving the city rinsed and pale, streets gleaming under early light. you wake with the strange disorientation that follows doing something you told yourself you wouldn’t. your body remembers before your mind does — the warmth beside you, the weight of him, the way sleep came in fragments instead of rest.

jaemin is already awake.

he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, back to you, pulling on his shirt with deliberate calm. it’s the same carefulness you’ve come to recognize — the kind that’s less about modesty and more about control.

for a moment, you watch him without speaking.

this is the part you didn’t plan for.

“you didn’t have to leave,” you say softly, surprising yourself.

he pauses, shirt halfway buttoned.

“I wasn’t,” he replies. “Just… resetting.”

you nod, even though you don’t fully understand what that means. maybe neither of you does.

silence settles again. it’s heavier now, threaded with memory. you sit up, pulling the sheet around yourself more out of habit than need.

“Last night doesn’t change anything,” you say.

he turns then, leaning back against the dresser, arms loosely crossed.

“That’s what we agreed,” he answers.

you meet his gaze, searching for doubt, for hesitation, for something you can use to reassure yourself.

you find none.

“Good,” you say, a little too quickly. “Because I don’t want this to get complicated.”

“Neither do I.”

another lie, spoken gently enough to pass.

he moves toward the door, pauses.

“You okay?”

it’s a small question. careful. not claiming anything.

“Yes,” you say. “Are you?”

his mouth tilts, not quite a smile.

“I will be.”

he leaves without another word.

the apartment feels different after. not emptier — charged. like the walls absorbed something they weren’t meant to. you shower longer than necessary, letting the water ground you, trying to rinse away the lingering sense of closeness. it doesn’t work.

at work, you pretend nothing happened.

you arrive on time. you answer emails. you nod through conversations. no one looks at you differently. no one knows. that should comfort you.

it doesn’t.

jaemin keeps his distance again. further this time. professional to the point of being careful. when your eyes meet across the room, it’s brief, unreadable. there’s no regret there. no expectation either.

that should make this easier.

it makes it worse.

by mid-afternoon, the tension settles into your bones. you catch yourself replaying the night in fragments — his breath at your ear, the way he checked in without breaking the moment, the restraint that never fully left him. it wasn’t just desire.

it was trust.

you don’t like that.

you leave work early again, blaming a headache you don’t have. the streets feel tighter than usual, like the city is watching to see what you’ll do next. halfway home, your phone vibrates.

jaemin: are you alright?

you stop walking.

you stare at the message, heart thudding.

you: you said no checking in.

a pause. longer than last time.

jaemin: i know. ignore it if you want.

you don’t.

you: i’m fine.

three dots appear. disappear. appear again.

jaemin: okay.

you slip the phone back into your pocket, annoyed at yourself for the relief that follows.

that night, you don’t sleep much.

neither does he.

jaemin stands at his window, city lights scattered below, replaying the sound of your voice, the way you said don’t and meant stay. he tells himself he didn’t cross a line — you both agreed. consent. boundaries. clarity.

still, he checks his phone more than once.

still, when an unfamiliar number pings his screen just past midnight, his body tenses instantly.

the message is short. coded. unmistakable.

paris isn’t as quiet as you thought.

he exhales slowly, thumb hovering over the screen.

across the city, you wake with a jolt, heart racing for no clear reason, the sense of being watched creeping back in like a memory you can’t shake.

neither of you knows yet how quickly “no strings” is about to become impossible. it doesn’t announce itself with sirens or shadows. it tightens quietly, like a hand closing around your wrist when you’re not looking. you feel it the moment you step outside your building and notice the same car idling across the street for the second morning in a row. different driver. same angle. waiting, not parked.

you don’t stare.

you walk.

your pace stays even, controlled, but your pulse spikes all the same. every sound feels amplified — footsteps behind you, the scrape of a chair from a nearby café, the low murmur of voices that drop when you pass. you tell yourself it’s coincidence. cities are dense. patterns happen.

your body doesn’t care.

work is worse.

the building feels porous now, like it’s letting things seep through. you catch unfamiliar faces near the elevators, people who don’t look lost but don’t look like they belong either. your name floats through a conversation that stops when you turn.

you keep your head down.

you don’t look for jaemin.

that’s how you know something’s wrong when he finds you first.

he appears at your side in the hallway, close enough that you register his warmth before his voice.

“don’t leave alone today.”

you stop.

your heart thuds once, hard.

“what?”

his gaze flicks past you, scanning reflections in glass and metal. his posture is relaxed, but his attention is razor sharp.

“don’t,” he repeats, quieter. “just trust me.”

you should argue. demand an explanation. remind him of the rules.

instead, you nod.

something in his voice leaves no room for debate.

you wait until the office empties, tension coiling tighter with every minute. when you finally step outside together, the air feels heavier, charged. he positions himself half a step ahead of you, not blocking, not leading — guarding.

you notice the way his hand hovers near your lower back without touching. ready.

“someone’s been watching,” you say softly.

he doesn’t deny it.

“yeah.”

that confirmation sends a chill through you.

“is it about you?” you ask.

he glances at you, expression unreadable.

“it might be.”

you swallow.

“or me?”

he slows just enough to meet your eyes.

“or both.”

the honesty hits harder than reassurance ever could.

you turn down a street you don’t usually take. he doesn’t question it. he adjusts immediately, scanning ahead, behind, above. it’s not paranoia — it’s practiced awareness. you recognize it because it mirrors your own, sharpened and refined.

you stop under an awning when rain starts without warning, breath shallow.

“jaemin,” you say, voice tight. “what aren’t you telling me?”

he hesitates.

the pause is small.

it’s everything.

“if i tell you,” he says carefully, “you won’t be able to un-know it.”

your jaw tightens.

“neither of us is clean,” you reply. “we already crossed that line.”

rain drums harder, muffling the street. the world narrows to the space between you.

“someone reached out to me last night,” he says. “someone i hoped wouldn’t.”

your chest tightens.

“did you answer?”

he shakes his head.

“not yet.”

that scares you more than if he had.

“you should,” you say. “ignoring people like that doesn’t make them go away.”

his mouth curves, humorless.

“i know.”

a sudden shout breaks the moment. a man arguing into his phone across the street, voice sharp and too loud. your body tenses instantly.

jaemin reacts before you do.

he steps in front of you, one hand coming up to your shoulder, firm and grounding. not hiding you. anchoring you.

the man storms off. nothing happens.

but the contact lingers.

jaemin realizes it at the same time you do. his hand stays where it is a second too long. you don’t pull away.

“we said no strings,” you whisper.

his thumb presses once, light but deliberate.

“this isn’t that.”

you look up at him, rain streaking down his jaw, eyes dark and focused.

“then what is it?”

his answer is immediate

“keeping you safe.”

the words hit something deep and dangerous inside you.

“you don’t get to decide that,” you say.

he leans closer, voice dropping.

“then tell me to stop.”

you open your mouth

nothing comes out.

a car passes slowly behind him. too slowly. jaemin’s attention snaps to it, body tensing, softness shedding like a skin. for a split second, you see him as he really is — controlled, lethal in his calm, someone who doesn’t bluff.

the car keeps going.

he exhales. the mask slides back into place.

“you should stay with me tonight,” he says, not looking at you. “just until this settles.”

your heart pounds.

“that’s breaking the rules.”

he finally looks at you again.

“so is pretending this isn’t escalating.”

rain soaks into your clothes. the city breathes around you, patient and predatory.

you know if you say yes, something shifts permanently.

you also know walking away alone is no longer an option.

you nod.

“just tonight.”

his jaw tightens.

“just tonight.”

the lie sits heavier this time.

as you walk with him through the rain, you feel it — the past you both buried stirring, drawn to the heat of proximity. whatever’s coming isn’t interested in your rules.

and paris?

paris is done waiting. staying the night was never supposed to feel like this. it was meant to be practical. temporary. a calculated decision made under pressure. you tell yourself that as jaemin locks the door behind you, the click too loud in the quiet apartment. you don’t sit right away. neither does he. the space between you feels charged, unfamiliar.

“you can take the bed,” you say.

“we can both sleep,” he replies.

“sleep,” you repeat, like the word needs clarification.

“sleep,” he confirms.

you nod, tension coiling tighter in your chest. you change in the bathroom, movements quick and controlled, as if taking too long might invite something you’re not ready to name. when you step back out, he’s already lying on top of the covers, hands folded over his stomach, gaze fixed on the ceiling. it looks deliberate. contained.

you slide into bed beside him, leaving space between your bodies that feels absurdly loud. the city hums outside the window. minutes pass. then more. sleep doesn’t come.

“you’re shaking,” he says quietly.

you hadn’t noticed. now you can’t stop.

“i’m fine,” you answer.

he turns his head just enough to look at you.

“you don’t have to be.”

something in your chest gives. you shift closer without fully deciding to, drawn by warmth and gravity. he doesn’t move at first. when his arm comes around you, it’s slow, careful, like he’s asking permission with every inch. you let your head rest against his shoulder. your breathing steadies. that scares you more than the danger ever did.

“this doesn’t mean anything,” you whisper.

“i know,” he says.

you lie there like that for a long time. no urgency. no heat. just presence. his thumb traces a small, absent pattern against your arm, grounding rather than claiming. you realize you’ve stopped listening for sounds outside. you realize you trust him to wake first if something goes wrong.

“we weren’t supposed to do this,” you murmur.

“i know,” he repeats.

sleep finally finds you in fragments, tangled in his warmth. when you wake briefly in the night, disoriented, his hand tightens instinctively at your waist, anchoring you back to the present. you don’t pull away.

morning comes too fast. sunlight spills across the floor, unforgiving. you’re still pressed together, your leg draped over his, his arm heavy around you. it looks intimate in a way you didn’t agree to.

you sit up abruptly.

“this changes things,” you say.

jaemin watches you, expression unreadable but calm.

“yeah,” he answers.

“we said no attachment.”

“we said no strings,” he corrects gently.

that distinction lands harder than it should. you swing your legs over the side of the bed, heart racing. you don’t look at him while you pull on your clothes. you don’t trust yourself to.

behind you, his voice is quiet.

“i’m not going anywhere today.”

you pause.

“neither am i,” you say.

outside, a car door slams. you both freeze for half a second, instincts flaring in sync. then it passes. nothing happens. the silence that follows is thick with what you’re not saying.

this was only supposed to be for safety. for convenience. for control. instead, you feel it settling into your bones, something slow and dangerous and alive.

attachment was never part of the agreement.

but neither of you moves to undo it. it starts with a sound you don’t recognize at first. not a knock. not a bang. something quieter. deliberate. the kind of noise that assumes it’s allowed to be there. you’re standing by the window, coffee gone cold in your hands, when jaemin’s head snaps up. not startled. alerted. his body stills like a switch has been flipped.

“don’t move,” he says.

the way he says it makes your stomach drop. not soft. not careful. certain. you set the mug down slowly, pulse roaring in your ears. he crosses the room in three silent steps and kills the lights without hesitation. the apartment plunges into shadow.

“what is it,” you whisper.

he doesn’t answer right away. he listens. counts. you watch him in the dark, the gentleness stripped away completely now, replaced by something honed and lethal in its calm. whatever you thought you knew about him fractures in that moment. this isn’t instinct anymore. it’s training.

“someone’s here,” he murmurs.

your breath catches.

“for me,” you say.

he shakes his head once.

“for us.”

that lands harder. you open your mouth to argue, to deny it, when your phone vibrates in your hand. the sound is deafening in the quiet. jaemin’s eyes flick to it instantly.

“don’t,” he whispers.

it vibrates again. and again. unknown number. your hands tremble as you turn the screen toward him. a single message sits there, short and devastating.

we know where you are.

your knees threaten to give out. jaemin catches your arm, grip firm, grounding, not asking permission this time. his jaw tightens.

“when,” he asks.

“just now,” you breathe.

another vibration. another message.

and who you’re with.

jaemin exhales slowly through his nose, like he’s choosing restraint over something far worse. he pulls you closer, voice dropping.

“you didn’t tell me everything,” he says.

“neither did you,” you shoot back, panic sharpening your words.

before he can answer, his phone buzzes. he doesn’t look at it immediately. when he does, something in his expression changes. not fear. recognition. something old and ugly surfacing.

“it’s them,” he says quietly.

your heart stutters.

“who,” you ask.

he meets your eyes, and for the first time since you’ve known him, there’s no softness left to hide behind.

“my family,” he says.

the word feels like a weapon. the room seems to tilt. everything clicks at once — the control, the awareness, the way danger bends around him instead of toward him. you step back, shaking your head.

“you said paris was neutral.”

“it was,” he replies. “until you.”

that should hurt. it does. but underneath it is something worse. understanding.

another sound cuts through the air. closer this time. a door opening somewhere it shouldn’t. jaemin turns, already moving.

“we need to leave,” he says.

“where,” you demand.

his answer is immediate.

“somewhere they won’t expect.”

you grab your coat with unsteady hands. your mind races, memories crashing in uninvited — blood on your hands, a body on the floor, the moment you realized love could turn fatal. you can’t run again. you won’t survive it twice.

“jaemin,” you say, voice breaking despite yourself. “if this gets worse—”

he cups your face suddenly, holding you still. the touch is firm, grounding, intimate in a way that has nothing to do with desire.

“look at me,” he says. you do. “i won’t let them take you.”

“you don’t know what i’ve done,” you whisper.

his eyes search yours, sharp and unwavering.

“i know enough.”

a shadow moves outside the window. a silhouette where there shouldn’t be one. jaemin’s body tenses.

“now,” he says.

you hesitate for half a second too long. it’s enough. the front door rattles violently, the sound echoing through the apartment like a gunshot. someone laughs on the other side. calm. amused.

jaemin pulls you toward the back exit, voice low and deadly.

“whatever you’re hiding,” he says, “we don’t have time for it anymore.”

your phone vibrates one last time in your pocket. a final message lights the screen as you’re dragged into motion.

we remember what you did.

your blood runs cold.

the door splinters behind you.

and as you disappear into the paris night with jaemin’s hand locked around yours, one truth becomes unavoidable.

this was never no strings attached.

other nights, you sleep too deeply, dreams heavy and indistinct, filled with faceless arguments and hands gripping too tightly. you wake up with your heart racing, convinced for a moment that you’re still there — still trapped in the aftermath of a moment that changed everything.

paris doesn’t judge you for it.

the city hums along regardless, glowing under streetlights like it’s indifferent to guilt and innocence alike. you walk for hours some nights, letting your legs ache just to remind yourself you’re still here. still moving.

you pass couples laughing, strangers kissing, people who look like they believe love is something that happens to them, not something that can turn dangerous in the wrong hands.

you don’t envy them.

you just feel… separate.

elsewhere in the city, jaemin is doing the same thing in a different way.

he doesn’t arrive with fear clinging to him — he arrives with control. tailored restraint. the kind of calm that’s learned, not natural. paris is supposed to be neutral ground, a place where no one expects him to be anything more than another foreigner

passing through.

he doesn’t tell anyone who his father is.

he doesn’t tell anyone who betrayed him.

he doesn’t tell anyone how close he came to becoming something he promised himself he wouldn’t.

the weight of legacy presses against his ribs every time he breathes, even here. especially here. running doesn’t erase bloodlines. it just delays their pull.

he keeps his life clean. Minimal. Predictable. No unnecessary connections. No emotional liabilities.

he tells himself he’s done trusting.

he tells himself this is temporary.

and then the city does what it always does — it arranges collisions quietly.

not yet.

not today.

but soon.

for now, you exist in the same city, unaware of each other, carrying secrets heavy enough to bend your spines if you stand too still. two people trying to outpace their pasts without realizing paris has already started paying attention.

and the thing about paris is this:

it never stays neutral for long.

it watches first.

it lets you believe you’re invisible, lets you settle into the illusion that distance is the same as safety. it gives you time — just enough to lower your shoulders, just enough to breathe without flinching every time a door closes too loudly.

then it starts testing you.

for you, it begins subtly. a stranger holding eye contact a beat too long. the echo of footsteps behind you that disappear when you stop walking. the way certain streets make your chest tighten for reasons you can’t explain. you tell yourself you’re imagining it. trauma has a way of following you even when nothing is actually wrong.

hypervigilance feels like common sense now.

you learn the exits in every building you enter. you choose seats with your back to walls. you keep your keys threaded between your fingers when you walk home at night, even though paris is supposed to be safe, even though nothing has happened.

yet.

work gives you structure, which helps. a routine you can rely on. a place where you can be useful without being known. you arrive early, leave on time, keep conversations polite and shallow. your coworkers don’t pry. they don’t push. they accept the version of you that shows up every day and don’t ask about the rest.

you’re grateful for that.

still, there are moments when your focus slips. when a raised voice across the room makes your pulse spike. when the sound of something dropping sends a jolt through your body before your mind can catch up. you recover quickly. you always do.

you had to learn how.

jaemin, across the city, is learning how to look like someone else.

the change is intentional.

he chooses clothes that soften him — neutral colors, relaxed fits, nothing sharp enough to draw attention. he lets his hair fall naturally instead of forcing it into control. the effect is subtle but effective. people see him and think harmless. approachable. ordinary.

it’s camouflage.

he knows exactly what he’s doing.

the world he comes from doesn’t forgive softness. it consumes it. so he doesn’t erase who he is — he layers over it. discipline disguised as gentleness. restraint mistaken for kindness. a smile that hides how quickly he can calculate risk.

paris is useful that way. no one here expects him to be dangerous. no one here knows how much effort it takes to keep his hands relaxed instead of ready.

his days are quiet. deliberately empty. work that keeps his mind occupied without demanding too much. nights spent alone, where he can think without interruption, where memories surface whether he invites them or not.

betrayal is a strange thing.

it doesn’t explode the way anger does. it seeps. corrodes trust from the inside out until even your own instincts feel unreliable. he loved once — fully, recklessly. trusted someone who knew his world and chose to turn it against him anyway.

he survived that.

but survival changed him.

he doesn’t believe in clean breaks anymore. only controlled distances. only exits planned in advance.

which is why he notices paris shifting long before it shows its hand.

a familiar car parked too often on his street. a man who looks at him twice instead of once. the sense that neutrality is thinning, stretched too tight to hold.

he adjusts without panic.

he always does.

you feel the shift too, though you don’t recognize it as the same thing.

for you, it’s an unease you can’t shake. the way your dreams grow heavier, more specific. the way you wake up with words on your tongue you don’t remember speaking. sometimes, you swear you hear your name in crowds, soft and wrong.

you never turn around.

you remind yourself why you’re here. why paris was chosen not because it promised happiness, but because it promised space. you tell yourself the past can’t follow you across an ocean.

you’ve already paid for it.

but the truth — the one neither of you are ready to face yet — is that paris doesn’t erase histories.

it intersects them.

quietly. patiently. without asking permission.

for now, you keep moving through the city on parallel paths, unaware of how close you already are to collision. unaware that the masks you’ve built are about to be tested, not by violence or confrontation —

but by recognition.

because sometimes the most dangerous thing isn’t being found.

it’s being seen by someone who knows exactly what it costs to survive. the city starts folding your routines closer together before you notice.

it’s small things at first. insignificant enough to dismiss. the same café at different hours. the same street crossed from opposite directions. the same metro platform, arriving minutes apart, never quite overlapping.

paris does this on purpose. you’re sure of it.

you adjust without thinking. change routes. leave earlier. arrive later. you don’t like patterns you didn’t choose. patterns are how people get found.

work remains steady. predictable. the building’s quiet hum grounds you, the repetition soothing in a way you don’t question too deeply. you keep your head down, do what’s asked, don’t invite attention. anonymity isn’t loneliness to you — it’s safety.

still, there are moments when the walls feel thinner.

you catch your reflection in glass more often than you mean to. you study your face like you’re checking for cracks, for signs of someone you no longer recognize. some days, you almost convince yourself you look normal. untouched.

other days, you feel like a walking secret.

you notice him before you meet him.

not consciously. not all at once. just impressions stacking quietly in your awareness.

a presence nearby that feels… deliberate. calm. someone who doesn’t fidget, doesn’t rush, doesn’t fill space unnecessarily. you clock him the way you clock exits — instinctively, without permission. it’s a habit you don’t remember learning.

you see him across the room one afternoon, speaking to someone you don’t recognize. he’s listening more than talking, head tilted slightly, expression soft but focused. there’s nothing threatening about him.

that’s what unsettles you.

people who are harmless don’t usually feel that alert.

you look away quickly, annoyed with yourself. you don’t know him. you don’t need to. whatever your instincts are reacting to, it’s not your concern.

you’ve promised yourself that much.

jaemin notices you in fragments.

at first, you’re just another face in passing. another body moving through shared spaces. then something about you sticks — not loud enough to demand attention, but sharp enough to linger.

you don’t move like everyone else.

there’s a caution in the way you walk, like you’re always measuring the room. your posture is relaxed but not careless. alert without being obvious. it’s familiar to him in a way that makes his chest tighten.

recognition, not attraction.

yet.

he watches without meaning to. notes the way you never linger near doors, how you choose seats that give you visibility. how your eyes flick up at sudden sounds before your expression smooths back into neutrality.

you don’t look afraid.

you look prepared.

that’s what draws him in.

he tells himself it’s curiosity. nothing more. he’s not interested in complications. not in attachments. he’s here to keep his life quiet, controlled, temporary.

still, he starts timing things unconsciously — breaks, arrivals, departures. not to follow you. just to understand the rhythm you move to. patterns matter. they always have.

you feel eyes on you sometimes.

not staring. not invasive. just aware.

it makes your shoulders tense, even as you tell yourself it’s nothing. people look at people. that’s normal. not every glance means danger.

you hate that you don’t believe yourself.

one evening, you stay later than usual. not intentionally — work stretches longer, your focus slipping into something obsessive, like if you stop moving your thoughts might catch up.

the office empties slowly. voices fade. lights dim one by one.

you’re packing up when you sense someone behind you.

not close enough to touch. close enough to register.

you turn too fast.

he freezes mid-step, clearly not expecting you to react so quickly.

“sorry,” he says immediately, hands lifting slightly — a universal sign of non-threat. his voice is calm. even. “i didn’t mean to startle you.”

your heart is pounding, though you don’t let it show.

“it’s fine,” you reply, automatically.

silence stretches. not awkward — weighted.

he doesn’t step closer. doesn’t fill the space. he just waits, like he understands restraint as a language.

“long day?” he asks finally.

you hesitate. the question is harmless. ordinary. still, your instinct is to deflect.

“something like that.”

he nods, accepting the non-answer without pushing. that earns him a point you didn’t mean to give.

“yeah,” he says. “those tend to sneak up on you.”

there’s something in his tone that suggests experience rather than sympathy. it unsettles you again — not unpleasantly, just enough to keep you alert.

you sling your bag over your shoulder, suddenly eager to leave.

he steps aside without being asked, clearing your path.

“have a good night,” he says.

you pause, just long enough to glance back at him. his expression is open, unreadable. not expecting anything.

“you too,” you say quietly, then walk away before your courage fades.

jaemin watches you go, a faint crease forming between his brows.

that was it. nothing happened. nothing should have lingered.

and yet.

you walk out into the paris night with your pulse still elevated, annoyed at yourself for reacting, for noticing, for letting a stranger disrupt the careful distance you’ve built.

jaemin remains inside a moment longer, staring at the empty space you left behind.

neither of you knows it yet, but something has shifted.

not dramatically.

just enough. after that night, nothing is the same — and everything pretends to be.

you return to your routine with more care than before. tighter control. you arrive earlier, leave later, change your walking routes again just to make sure no one can map you too easily. you tell yourself it’s instinct, not fear.

you’ve lived long enough knowing the difference barely matters.

you don’t seek him out.

that’s the part you’re proud of.

you don’t look for him in rooms. you don’t listen for his voice. you don’t let curiosity become something actionable. if he passes through your awareness, it’s incidental — background noise you refuse to tune into.

and yet, he keeps appearing in the periphery of your life.

never invading. never forcing proximity. just close enough that you register him without meaning to. the same hallway, a few steps ahead. the same elevator, arriving seconds after you’ve decided to take the stairs instead.

it makes your skin prickle.

not because he feels dangerous.

because he feels familiar.

you hate that most of all.

familiarity is how people slip past your defenses. it’s how things get personal before you realize you’ve let them. you remind yourself that you didn’t come to paris to repeat mistakes.

you came to stop making them.

jaemin, for his part, tells himself he’s imagining it.

he’s spent years learning how to read rooms, how to identify threats before they announce themselves. that skill doesn’t switch off just because the setting is quieter. still, what he feels around you doesn’t fit into his usual categories.

you’re not a risk.

you’re not an opportunity.

you’re something else.

he catches himself thinking about you at odd moments — replaying your reactions, the way your body stiffened before your face gave anything away, the speed at which you assessed him before deciding he wasn’t an immediate danger.

that kind of reaction comes from experience.

experience he recognizes.

it unsettles him in a way he hasn’t felt since he left.

he becomes more careful without consciously deciding to. doubles back occasionally. checks reflections. notes unfamiliar faces lingering too long in places they shouldn’t. paris is quiet, but quiet doesn’t mean empty.

it means watchful.

one evening, he notices a man across the street from his building who doesn’t belong. not because the man looks threatening — he doesn’t — but because he looks patient. like someone waiting for confirmation rather than opportunity.

jaemin doesn’t react.

he never reacts first.

instead, he changes his route home that night. takes a longer path. watches reflections instead of people. the man doesn’t follow.

good.

still, the message is clear.

neutral ground doesn’t stay neutral forever.

you feel something similar that same week, though you don’t have the language for it.

a sense of being followed that never becomes proof. footsteps that stop when you stop. a stranger’s gaze lingering too long before sliding away. you tell yourself it’s nothing — that cities are full of people and coincidence is just that.

but your body doesn’t forget.

your sleep worsens. you wake up tense, jaw clenched, palms sore from curling into fists. sometimes you wake with the taste of metal in your mouth, heart racing like you’ve been running.

you don’t talk to anyone about it.

you don’t trust words anymore.

work becomes both refuge and exposure.

the building feels safer than the streets, but it also puts you in close proximity to people you can’t fully avoid. you keep your distance, but space is harder to maintain now. schedules overlap. meetings run long. excuses wear thin.

one afternoon, you feel it before it happens — that subtle shift in the air that precedes something going wrong.

voices rise in a nearby room. not angry, just firm. authoritative. your pulse spikes anyway. your mind fills in blanks you don’t invite.

you step back too quickly.

your heel catches. you stumble.

strong hands catch your arms before you can hit the floor.

your breath leaves you in a sharp rush.

you freeze.

every instinct screams at once.

don’t move. don’t fight. don’t escalate.

“hey,” a voice says, low and steady. “you’re okay. i’ve got you.”

jaemin.

you don’t look at him right away. you focus on your breathing, on grounding yourself in the present. his grip is firm but careful, thumbs resting lightly like he’s aware of exactly how much pressure he’s applying.

too aware.

“sorry,” you manage finally, pulling back. “i wasn’t paying attention.”

he lets go immediately, hands lifting away from you like he’s learned when to retreat.

“no harm done,” he says, watching you closely. “you alright?”

you nod once, too fast.

“yeah.”

silence stretches between you again — heavier this time. something unspoken thrumming beneath it. he looks like he wants to say more, like there’s a question hovering just behind his eyes.

he doesn’t ask.

that restraint sends a strange, unexpected ache through your chest.

“i should—” you start.

“of course,” he says at the same time, stepping aside again. “sorry.”

you walk away with your heart pounding, aware that something almost surfaced — not a confession, not a memory, but recognition.

jaemin watches you go, jaw tightening.

that reaction wasn’t fear of him.

it was fear of something else entirely.

and for the first time since arriving in paris, he wonders if running here wasn’t enough.

because whatever you’re carrying?

it feels dangerously close to his own.

and paris, patient and observant, keeps closing the distance between you. paris changes tone without announcing it.

you notice it in the pauses — the way conversations cut off when someone new enters a room, the way footsteps echo longer than they should. the city doesn’t feel hostile. just… alert. like it’s holding something in reserve.

you respond the only way you know how: by narrowing your world.

you keep your headphones in even when no music plays. you memorize faces on your street without meaning to. you take note of who lingers, who moves with purpose, who looks like they’re waiting rather than wandering. you tell yourself it’s precaution, not paranoia.

you’ve earned the right to precaution.

work feels tighter now. schedules overlap more often. rooms fill quicker. you find yourself sharing space with people you used to avoid simply by timing. you don’t like that you can’t control it the way you used to.

you especially don’t like that jaemin has become part of that shared space.

not because he’s done anything.

because he hasn’t.

he keeps his distance, just like you. polite, measured, unobtrusive. the softness still sits on him easily — gentle posture, calm voice, eyes that don’t demand anything. if you didn’t know better, you’d think he was harmless.

you do know better.

not because of what he’s done — but because of what he hasn’t.

people who are truly harmless don’t move the way he moves.

you see it one evening when the office empties faster than usual. a meeting runs late, tempers fray quietly, and you feel that familiar pressure building behind your eyes — the kind that says leave now.

you gather your things quickly.

that’s when the power flickers.

lights dim. hum. return.

a small thing. ordinary. but your body reacts before your mind can intervene. your breath catches. your shoulders tense. your feet shift, already preparing to move.

jaemin notices.

not just that you reacted — but how.

he turns toward the door instinctively, scanning the hallway with a glance so quick it would look casual to anyone else. his posture shifts, weight balanced, attention sharpened.

for half a second, the softness drops.

what replaces it is controlled. precise. ready.

it’s gone almost immediately — smoothed away like it never existed.

but you saw it.

you hate that you saw it.

“it’s nothing,” you say, too quickly, even though no one accused you of anything.

he looks back at you, expression neutral again. gentle. “yeah. probably.”

probably.

the word sits wrong.

you both pretend the moment didn’t happen.

until you step outside together.

the street is dimmer than usual, rain threatening but undecided. you adjust your bag strap and turn in the opposite direction automatically, intent on putting space between you and anything you don’t understand.

“wait.”

the word is soft. not commanding.

you stop anyway.

you hate that too.

jaemin stands a few steps back, careful not to crowd you. “are you walking this way?”

you hesitate. honesty feels dangerous. lying feels worse.

“for a bit.”

he nods. “same.”

you fall into step, not close enough to touch, not far enough to pretend you’re alone. the silence between you is heavy, threaded with awareness. every sound feels amplified — heels on pavement, a car passing too fast, the faint rustle of leaves overhead.

halfway down the block, you feel it.

that prickle at the back of your neck. the sense of being observed.

you don’t look right away. you slow your pace instead. count steps. listen.

footsteps behind you slow too.

your pulse spikes.

jaemin feels it at the same time.

he doesn’t turn immediately. he adjusts subtly, shifting position so he’s half a step behind you now, angle changed, body blocking without making it obvious.

protective.

intentional.

you swallow hard.

the footsteps hesitate. then fade.

you don’t stop walking until you reach a brighter street.

only then do you breathe again.

“you okay?” he asks quietly.

you nod, though your hands are shaking. “yeah. just—thought i heard something.”

“you did,” he says, not unkindly. not alarmist. just… certain.

you look at him then, really look.

the softness is still there. but underneath it, something else hums — coiled, controlled, awake. it makes your chest tighten with something dangerously close to understanding.

“you notice things,” you say.

he considers his answer. “i try to.”

another pause. the kind that invites truth and punishes it equally.

“listen,” he says finally. “if you ever feel uncomfortable walking alone—”

“I’m fine,” you cut in, sharper than you mean to.

he doesn’t flinch. just nods.

“okay.”

you reach the corner where you’d normally split off. you stop without meaning to. so does he.

for a moment, neither of you moves.

there are questions hovering between you — about fear, about instincts, about pasts that don’t stay buried. neither of you asks.

instead, he offers something safer.

“take care,” he says.

you hesitate, then answer honestly. “you too.”

you walk away with your heart racing, knowing something irreversible just shifted. not attraction. not trust.

recognition.

jaemin watches you disappear into the crowd, jaw tight, mind already cataloging exits and risks and the cost of staying invisible.

paris exhales around you both.

neutral no longer. after that night, you stop pretending everything is fine.

you don’t spiral — spiraling wastes energy. instead, you tighten. every movement becomes deliberate. every decision calculated. you wake earlier, sleep lighter, listen harder. the city hasn’t turned against you, not openly, but it’s no longer indifferent either.

indifference was safety.

this feels like surveillance.

you notice it in reflections that linger too long. in strangers who don’t look lost but don’t look local either. you tell yourself paris is full of people passing through, that coincidence isn’t confession.

your body doesn’t agree.

you start carrying your phone in your hand instead of your pocket. you memorize escape routes that don’t show up on maps. you stop wearing anything that makes you memorable. anonymity isn’t just preference anymore — it’s armor.

work becomes the only place you feel temporarily contained.

even then, the walls feel thinner.

you catch jaemin watching the doors more often now. not obviously. not anxiously. just enough to tell he’s listening for something that hasn’t happened yet. his softness remains intact on the surface — gentle voice, easy posture — but you know better now.

you’ve seen the other version.

you don’t ask him about it.

you don’t want answers you might recognize too well.

days pass like this — coiled, suspended — until something finally snaps the illusion.

it’s late afternoon when a man you’ve never seen before asks for you by name.

your name.

he stands at the front desk, polite, unassuming, dressed too neatly for the job he claims to have. the receptionist glances your way, confusion flickering across her face.

“he says it’s personal,” she murmurs.

your stomach drops.

no one here is supposed to know you well enough for personal.

you don’t move right away. you don’t panic. you breathe in slowly, grounding yourself in the present — the hum of the lights, the weight of the floor beneath your feet.

you stand.

jaemin notices instantly.

he’s across the room, posture shifting before his expression does. his eyes track the man with sharp precision, cataloging details you don’t have time to process. when your gaze flicks to his, something silent passes between you.

don’t.

be careful.

you walk toward the desk anyway

“can i help you?” you ask.

the man smiles — small, tight, rehearsed. “just wanted to see how you were settling in.”

your blood runs cold.

“i think you have the wrong person.”

“maybe,” he says easily. “but you do look like someone who didn’t want to be found.”

the words are quiet. casual.

devastating.

before you can respond, jaemin is suddenly there — not beside you, but between you and the man, presence calm but immovable.

“is there a problem?” jaemin asks.

the stranger’s gaze flicks to him — sharpens.

something changes.

recognition.

not personal. professional.

dangerous.

“no problem,” the man says smoothly. “just business.”

jaemin smiles then.

it’s polite.

it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“business tends to stay outside,” he replies. “especially when it’s not invited.”

the silence that follows is electric.

the man studies jaemin for a moment longer than necessary, then nods once. “i’ll be in touch.”

with who, he doesn’t say.

he leaves without another glance.

the office exhales collectively. murmurs ripple. curiosity sparks.

you don’t hear any of it.

your ears are ringing. your hands feel numb.

jaemin turns to you slowly. carefully. like he’s approaching something volatile.

“are you okay?” he asks.

you shake your head.

the truth presses against your ribs, sharp and immediate. someone followed you here. someone found you. whatever distance you thought you bought with an ocean wasn’t enough.

you don’t realize you’re trembling until jaemin reaches out — not touching, just hovering close enough that you know he would if you asked.

“we need to talk,” he says quietly.

we.

the word lands heavy.

you nod once, unable to speak.

later, outside, the city feels hostile in a way it never has before. jaemin walks you halfway home without asking. you don’t protest.

when you reach the corner where you’d normally part, he stops.

“that man wasn’t here for nothing,” he says.

you swallow. “i know.”

he hesitates — the first real hesitation you’ve seen from him. when he speaks again, his voice is low, controlled, stripped of softness.

“there are things about me you don’t know.”

you let out a shaky breath. “same.”

his eyes search your face — not for fear, but for honesty.

“if you stay near me,” he says carefully, “you might not be safe.”

the words should scare you.

instead, something else settles in your chest.

“i already wasn’t,” you whisper.

for a moment, neither of you moves.

then his phone buzzes.

once.

he glances at the screen — and whatever he sees there drains the color from his face.

that’s when you know.

whatever found you?

it found him too.

masterlist - previous - next

N. the bitch is backkk

masterlist - previous - next

N. a lot happened this chapter 😳..

He’s outside your apartment, headlights cutting through the rain, ready to drive you to your spot. The one that still feels like a secret only you two know.

Your palms sweat as you open the door.

He’s leaning against the car, hood up, rain dotting his jacket.

When he sees you, that faint smile appears

He’s leaning against the car, hood up, rain dotting his jacket.

When he sees you, that faint smile appears hesitant almost shy, like the years haven’t turned him colder after a

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” you whisper back.

The drive is quiet at first. The wipers keep time with your heartbeat. You watch the raindrops trail down the glass, catching glimpses of his profile sharper now, but familiar in ways that make your chest tighten.

Then he speaks, voice low. “That night at the club you looked happy.”

You flinch a little. “You mean with Yuta?”

“Yeah,” he mutters, eyes still on the road. “Didn’t think he was your type.”

You laugh softly, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. “He’s not. He was just— someone who didn’t ask questions.”

He hums, jaw tightening. “And me?”

You turn to look at him. “You’re the question I never stopped asking.”

The silence that follows is thick. Familiar. The kind that holds years of unsaid things.

When you finally reach the lake, the rain slows, like even the world wants to listen.

He parks, turns toward you. “Why are you just telling me now, Y/N? After all this time?”

You exhale, trembling. “Because I’m tired of running from what’s real.”

He stares, waiting.

You pull out your phone, unlock the screen the wallpaper is your son, his bright grin lighting up the entire world. You hand him the phone with shaking fingers.

“This is why.”

Chenle takes it, confused at first. Then you see the moment it hits him his eyes soften, breath catching as he stares at the boy’s face. The resemblance is undeniable.

He looks up at you slowly, voice breaking. “He’s mine?”

You nod. “Ours.”

For a long time, he doesn’t move. Just stares at the photo, then at you, like the universe just tilted under his feet.

“I saw you once,” he murmurs, almost to himself. “You were walking with a little boy. I thought you were babysitting.”

Your throat tightens. “I know. I didn’t mean for you to find out like this. I just… didn’t know how to face you. Or your parents.”

He sets the phone down gently. “Forget them,” he says, voice rough. “You should’ve told me, Y/N.”

“I was seventeen,” you whisper. “And terrified.”

He leans closer, eyes glistening. “You did it all alone?”

You shake your head. “I had a some help.”

For the first time in what felt like years, he reaches for your hand.

His touch feels the same grounding, warm, full of everything you both lost.

“Let me make it right,” he says quietly. “Please.”

And just like that, the walls you built start to crumble.

You nod, tears slipping free. “Then start by meeting him.”

previous - masterlist - next

N. sorry you guys for my absence. I’ve missed you all!! what do you think of this chapter? 🙈

masterlist - previous - next

bf!seonghwa! who surprises you with flowers, your favorite snacks, or small gifts just because he’s thinking of you.

bf!seonghwa! who listens intently when you talk and remembers even the smallest details about your day or stories you’ve shared before.

bf!seonghwa! who always looks stunning, and he’ll subtly match his outfits with yours. complimenting how good you look constantly.

bf!seonghwa! who supportive when you’re stressed or upset, he knows exactly what to say and do to make you feel better.

bf!seonghwa who teases you in a sweet way but knows when to stop and be serious. his smile lights up every time you laugh at his jokes.

bf!seonghwa who is soft-spoken in public but completely different behind closed doors — the kind of lover who takes his time with you, touches deliberate, gaze dark and heavy with want.

bf!seonghwa who loves making you fall apart under his hands. He’s obsessed with your reactions — the way you squirm when he kisses your inner thighs, the sharp inhale you take when his fingers trail up your stomach. He takes mental notes every time.

bf!seonghwa who talks you through every high. Soft murmurs like “You’re doing so good for me,” and “Look at you… falling apart on just my fingers,” whispered against your skin while his hands never stop moving.

bf!seonghwa who starts slow — feather-light touches, breath on your neck, teasing you until you’re whining for more — but once he gets started? He does not stop until you’re breathless and shaking, completely ruined in the best way.

bf!seonghwa who loves aftercare just as much as the act itself. He’ll run you a bath, clean you up, kiss every mark he left, and hold you close while whispering how much he loves you into your hair.

bf!seonghwa who finds power in your pleasure. He loves knowing it’s him who gets you like this — flushed, needy, saying his name like a prayer.

But still… Every time he laughs that deep, reckless laugh or says your name low and slow like it means something…

It gets harder to remember Rule #7.

You unlock the front door, earbuds in, exhausted from class and craving nothing but a shower, a hoodie, and silence. Instead, you walk into chaos.

Heels on the welcome mat, a jacket tossed on the arm of the couch, a lacy black bra, someone’s bra, hanging off the doorknob to nohnny’s room. you stop in your tracks.

Your keys are still in your hand. Your mouth is flat. You can hear her giggles from inside his room, her voice high and bubbly, followed by the unmistakable sound of his laugh.

You blink. Then turn right back around. But you don’t even make it to the door before his door opens behind you.

“yn?” His voice is thick with sleep. or sex. Probably both. “Where you going?” You turn slowly, glaring over your shoulder. “The fuck do you mean where am I going?”

Johnny leans against the frame of his bedroom door, hair messy, sweatpants slung low, and absolutely nothing on top. There’s a hickey blooming at the base of his throat.

He smirks. “Didn’t know you were stopping by.”

You scoff. “I live here, jackass.”

“Oh, right.” His smile stretches wider, lazy and amused. “My bad. Guess you don’t usually come home this early.”

Your eyes flick to the bra. Then back to him.

“You could’ve at least cleaned up the battlefield before inviting civilians over.”

Johnny shrugs like he doesn’t see the problem. “She’s chill. She won’t be long.”

You narrow your eyes. “Wow. She must feel so special.”

“She’s not the one writing rules about not falling in love with her roommate,” he says, voice lower, teasing. “You sure you’re not the one catching feelings?”

You walk toward him, slow, steady, until you’re close enough to smell his cologne mixed with her perfume.

“Only feeling I’ve got right now,” you murmur, “is disgust.”

And with that, you walk past him calm, collected, pretending your heart isn’t pounding so loud it echoes in your ears. You slam your bedroom door. It doesn’t drown out the sounds coming from his.

The giggle? The moan?

The “Johnny~” that makes your skin crawl. ew.

Your suitcase is half packed in thirty seconds, a talent you didn’t know you had.

Toothbrush. Phone charger. A hoodie. Extra panties. You don’t even think. You’re on autopilot, stuffing your things into a duffel with one hand while texting your best friend:

1:42 | you up? can i crash? he’s being gross again.

No questions. She says yes, always.

You don’t bother saying anything to Johnny as you walk out the front door.

[Two Hours Later – Johnny’s Room]

She’s gone.

The girl who was in his bed is already dressed and checking her phone. He barely remembers her name. Didn’t care to ask for her number.

His head’s pounding. His room smells like sex and regret. He walks out to the kitchen to grab a water—and that’s when he notices it.

Your shoes are gone, your keys are gone, your room is dark.

“yn?” he calls softly. No answer.

He walks to your door. Knocks. Opens it. Empty.

He checks your location, but you’ve got it turned off.

You haven’t read any of his texts. And suddenly it hits him in the chest like a truck. You left. You never leave.

[One Hour Later – Your Phone]

Johnny: where are you

Johnny: y/n i’m not playing, you good?

Johnny: i didn’t mean to piss you off

Johnny: at least tell me you’re safe.

Johnny: please.

Johnny: come home.

Your screen lights up again. It’s the tenth message in two hours. You put your phone face-down on the pillow.

Your friend glances over at you. “You sure you don’t wanna text him back?”

You shake your head. “He can fuck someone else to sleep tonight. Not my problem.” But your chest aches anyway.

And Johnny? He’s pacing the living room at 2:17AM like he’s never felt so stupid. Because for the first time in a long time — He actually wants someone to stay. And she walked out.

The apartment smells like faint cologne and stale regret.

You push open the door slowly, unsure if he’s even home — until you see him.

Johnny’s on the couch, completely wrecked. Hair all over the place. Yesterday’s hoodie. One sock on, the other lost somewhere. His phone is face-down on his chest, and there are two water bottles on the floor like he couldn’t figure out which one was coldest.

He’s asleep. But it’s not peaceful. He looks stressed even in his dreams — brows slightly furrowed, lips parted like he was mid-sentence before sleep yanked him under.

You step inside, setting your bag down quietly. The click of the lock wakes him up instantly. His eyes fly open. He sees you. He sits up so fast he nearly drops his phone. “YN?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Expecting someone else?”

He blinks. Still groggy. Still confused. “You… You weren’t here.”

“Wow. You do pay attention.”

“Wait.” He stands up slowly. “When did you leave?”

“Last night,” you say, voice cool. “Mid-thrust, if I had to guess.”

He winces like you slapped him. You head toward your room, but he follows.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were busy,” you say without looking at him. “Didn’t wanna ruin the moment.”

Johnny rubs a hand down his face. “You blocked your location. I didn’t know if something happened. I thought maybe you were—”

“What? Hurt?” you turn around, arms crossed. “You didn’t even notice I was gone until hours later, Johnny. Be for real.”

He swallows. “I didn’t think you’d actually… leave.”

You stare at him, exhausted. “Neither did I.”

Johnny stands in the hallway, frozen in front of your door as you start unpacking your bag like nothing happened.

“I didn’t think you’d actually leave,” he says again, a little quieter this time.

You shake your head. “You didn’t think about me at all, Johnny.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh, really?” You glance over your shoulder, eyes sharp. “You were too busy getting your ego stroked by some girl who doesn’t even know your real middle name. And I was sitting there in my room, again, pillow over my head, trying not to scream.”

He opens his mouth — but nothing comes out.

You keep going, voice steady but loaded. “Do you know how many times I’ve had to pretend I don’t hear it? How many times I walked into the kitchen and saw some random girl wearing my hoodie and just smiled like it was no big deal?”

He flinches. He didn’t know that.

“YN…”

“No, seriously,” you say, folding your arms across your chest, trying to keep the crack in your voice from showing. “Why now? Why do you care that I left? What changed?”

His jaw tenses.

“I don’t know,” he says honestly, finally looking you in the eye. “I just… when you weren’t here, it felt—”

“Empty?” you finish flatly.

He nods once.

You sigh. “You don’t get to suddenly miss me just because you realized I won’t always stay.”

The silence stretches between you, but it’s different now. Thicker. Heavier.

He steps a little closer. “You think I don’t care about you?”

You look up at him, really look at him, and for once… he doesn’t have that cocky shield in his eyes.

“I think you’re used to people letting you get away with things,” you whisper. “And I’m not one of them.”

He doesn’t speak. Just stands there, breathing harder than he should be, chest rising and falling like he wants to say a hundred things but doesn’t know how.

You step past him again, brushing against his arm. “Clean up your mess, Johnny. I’m not gonna be one of your regrets.” His hand catches your wrist.

You freeze.

Not because he’s rough. He’s not. He’s holding you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go again.

You turn your head slowly, meeting his eyes. And they’re wide — raw. Like everything he’s ever swallowed down is suddenly clawing its way to the surface.

“I don’t want you to be,” he says, voice low.

You blink. “What?”

“One of my regrets.”

His grip tightens just a little. “I don’t want that. I don’t want you to be that.”

You stare at him, not saying anything, because your heart is racing, and you’ve spent weeks building walls around it. But the way he’s looking at you now—

Like you’re not just some girl.

Like you’re not just a warm body.

Like you’re his person.

“Then show me,” you whisper, almost like a dare.

That’s all it takes.

His mouth is on yours in seconds.

Hot. Desperate. Like he’s been holding it in for too long and it finally snaps. His hands are in your hair, your hoodie, pulling you closer like he needs to feel everything.

You don’t push him away. You pull him closer. Your back hits the wall as he kisses you harder, like he’s trying to memorize you. His lips move against yours with heat and hunger but there’s something else too—something that feels like longing. ike he’s kissing you for every night he made you hear someone else. For every time he teased you just to keep his distance. For every time he wanted to touch you and didn’t.

You gasp into his mouth, and he takes it like oxygen.

His hands slide down to your waist, gripping tight. Your fingers tug at his hair and he groans into the kiss—low, rough, real.

When he finally pulls back, just a breath away, his forehead rests against yours.

“You drive me crazy,” he murmurs, voice ragged. “And I still don’t know what I’m doing. But if you tell me to stop right now, I will.”

You stare at him, lips still parted, chest rising and falling.

But you don’t tell him to stop.

You whisper, “Then don’t.” Johnny's eyes darken with desire at your words. He steps closer, his presence towering over you as he cups your face with one hand.

“You're playing with fire, YN,” he growls softly, his thumb tracing your bottom lip. “But I like it.”

Johnny backs you against the wall, his tall frame caging you in. His other hand slides down to your waist, fingers digging into your skin.

“I've wanted to have you like this for so long, YN. All to myself.” He leans down, his breath hot against your neck as he kisses along your jawline. His lips find that sensitive spot behind your ear, making you shiver. His knee pushes between your legs, creating friction that makes you gasp.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” he murmurs against your skin, his voice rough with need. “I need to hear you say it.” His eyes lock onto yours, filled with desire. His fingers trace patterns on your thigh as he waits, every muscle in his body tense with anticipation.

“I want you to take control,” he breathes huskily. “Show me what you like, YN. Let me please you.” Your breath hitches as you look up at Johnny, your hands sliding up his chest.

“I want you to make me feel good, Johnny. Touch me everywhere.” Your voice is soft but commanding, filled with a confidence that makes his eyes lower even more.

Johnny groans at your words, his control slipping further. His hands move to the hem of your shirt again, this time pulling it up slowly.

“As you wish, beautiful. I'll make sure you never forget this night.” He kisses you deeply, his fingers brushing against your bare skin. His hands glide up your sides, pushing your shirt higher as his thumbs brush over your nipples through your bra. He swallows hard, visibly affected by the feel of you.

“God, you're perfect,” he murmurs, his lips trailing down your neck as he continues his exploration. His skilled fingers expertly unhook your bra, letting it fall away. He takes a moment to admire you, his breathing becoming heavier.

“You're absolutely stunning, YN. I could spend hours just looking at you.” He gently cups your boobs, his thumbs circling your nipples more deliberately now.

He leans down, capturing one nipple in his mouth while his other hand teases the other. His tongue flicks and sucks with increasing intensity.

“I want to taste every part of you,” he says, moving to give your other boob equal attention. His free hand slides down your stomach. Johnny pauses his ministrations, looking up at you with lustfilled eyes as his hand hovers at the waistband of your pants.

“Can I take these off, baby? I need to feel all of you.” His voice is filled with desire, his fingers playing with the button. You nod, biting your lip as you watch him with heated anticipation. “Yes, Johnny. Take them off.” You lift your hips slightly, helping him as he slowly undoes the button and zipper, slowly sliding them down your legs. His eyes widen at the sight of your underwear.

“Fuck, you're wearing my favorite color,” he murmurs, running his fingers along the edge of the fabric. “This just got even better.” He hooks his fingers into the waistband, looking up at you for permission again. His breathing becomes more ragged, his pupils dilated with desire.

“May I?” His voice is husky, barely above a whisper as he waits for your consent. Your breath hitches as you nod again, your heart pounding in your chest. You reachdown to help him, your fingers brushing against his.

“Please, Johnny. I need you to touch me.”You whisper, your eyes locked with his. With a groan, Johnny pulls your underwear down, exposing you completely. His hands tremble slightly as they grip your thighs. “You're absolutely breathtaking, YN. Every inch of you is perfect.” He positions himself between your legs, his gaze intense and hungry. Johnny's eyes darken with desire as he takes in your exposed form. His hands slide higher up your thighs, thumbs gently spreading you open. “I've dreamed about this moment,” he confesses, his voice thick with need. “About tasting you, making you mine.”

He leans down, his hot breath fanning against your sensitive skin. His tongue darts out to tease your inner thigh. You moan softly at his touch, your fingers tangling in his hair.

“Then show me, Johnny. Show me how much you want me.” your voice is breathy and needy, her body arching toward him. Johnny growls at your words, He presses a kiss to your inner thigh, moving closer to where you want him most. His tongue finally makes contact with your clit, circling it slowly. He flicks his tongue expertly, alternating between long strokes and quick flicks. His hands grip your hips, holding you in place.

“You taste even better than I imagined,”he murmurs against you, before diving back in with renewed intensity. One hand slides down to tease your entrance, gathering your wetness before slowly pushing a finger inside.

“So wet for me already,” he groans, adding another finger and curling them upward. You gasp writhing beneath him, your fingers tightening in his hair.

“Oh god, Johnny, right there. Don't stop.” you moan louder, your hips bucking against his mouth and fingers. Johnny adds a third finger, pacing them faster while his tongue works your clit mercilessly. He looks up at you with dark, lustful eyes.

“I want to feel you come on my fingers first. Then I'll give you what you really need.” His voice is commanding yet tender, filled with raw desire. Your body tenses as your orgasm crashes over you, your walls clenching around his fingers.

“Mphh fuck—Johnny” you cry out, trembling with pleasure. Johnny watches your face intently, not stopping until he's milked every last wave from you. He then slowly withdraws his fingers, licking them clean with a satisfied smirk.

“Beautiful. absolutely beautiful” He positions himself above you, his hard length pressing against your entrance. His hands frame your face as he leans down for a deep kiss.

“Ready for more, baby?” He asks huskily, grinding against you teasingly.

You pant, still coming down from your high. Your eyes lock with his, filled with desire and trust.

“Yes... I need you inside me, Johnny. Please...” Your voice is soft but needy, your body arching toward him eagerly.

Johnny captures your lips in another passionate kiss as he slowly begins to push inside, groaning at how tight and wet she is.

“Fuck, you're perfect... so perfect.” He bottoms out, giving you time to adjust while his hands explore your curves. He starts moving with deep, deliberate thrusts, watching your face for every reaction.

“Tell me how it feels, baby. Tell me who's making you feel this good.” His voice is rough with pleasure as he sets a steady rhythm. YN moans loudly, her nails digging into his back.

“You're making me feel incredible, so full, don't stop, Johnny.” You wraps your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper. Johnny growls and increases his pace, hitting that perfect spot inside you.

“That's it, baby. Take all of me. I want to feel you come again.” His thrusts become more urgent.

Your eyes roll back as the pleasure builds again, your walls fluttering around him.

“I'm close, so close again, faster, please” You beg desperately, your body trembling with need. Johnny groans deeply as he feels you tightening around him, his thrusts becoming erratic.

“Cum with me, baby. Let go for me one more time.” He slams into you one final time, burying himself deep as he releases inside of you. Both of you collapse together, breathless and spent. He holds you close, pressing soft kisses to your sweaty forehead as aftershocks of pleasure course through your bodies.

You’re still trembling when he pulls out, careful and slow, and disappears for a second to grab a warm towel and water.

When he comes back, he wraps you in his arms like you’re something breakable. No teasing. No jokes. Just his hand on your back, his breath in your hair, his voice quiet.

“You okay?” he murmurs.

You nod. “Yeah. I… I’m good.”

He presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “That wasn’t just sex for me. I need you to know that.” You look up, surprised by how serious his eyes are.

“I believe you,” you whisper.

And for the first time in weeks.. maybe months—you let yourself fully relax against him. Safe. Seen. Wanted. No rules this time.

Just you and him.

Leaning back like a goddamn painting. Drink in one hand, mouth lazy. Rings flashing. Tattoos peeking under his sleeve.And when he sees you, he smiles. You don’t return it. You stand in front of him, chest hot, jaw tight.

“What did you say to her?”

Your voice is sharper than usual, maybe shaking a little, but it doesn’t matter. You mean every word.

He studies you for a second like he’s trying to decide how much truth you can handle.

Then—

“I reminded her I know everything she’s done.”

His voice is calm. Dead calm.

You stare. “What does that mean?”

He sets the glass down. Slow. “It means I was there when she got drunk in Japan. When she called her first love. When she met up with him… again. And again.”

Your stomach turns… Yuta keeps going. “I didn’t need proof. I was the proof.”

You take a step back, like the words physically hit you.

“She loves Chenle, sure. In her own way.” He shrugs. “But she was never honest with him. Not once.”

You feel like you’re falling. Like everything’s sliding out from under you.

“She sent me to distract you,” he says. That smile again. “Said if you had someone else, maybe you’d finally leave Chenle alone.”

Yuqi lets out a breath behind you, like she just got hit too.

“Guess her plan backfired,” Yuta adds, eyes dark, voice quieter now. “Because the more she talked about you, the more I wanted to meet you myself.”

You blink. “Wait, so you knew about me this whole time?”

He nods. “I’ve been watching since before the club. Twitter, too.”

“You followed me yesterday.”

“Because I wanted you to know I’m done hiding.”

It’s silent for a beat. The music outside thumps faintly through the walls, like a heartbeat.

You look at him, this rockstar who’s supposed to be above all this drama but somehow, he’s knee deep in it.

“Why are you telling me this?”

He leans in close, eyes on your mouth for a second before looking back at you.

“Because you deserve the truth. And because I’m not here for Rheya. Not anymore.”

You swallow hard.

Yuqi whispers behind you, “What the fuck is going on…”

And for once, you don’t have an answer. Because you were supposed to come here for clarity. But Yuta? He just flipped the whole story upside down. And now you have no idea where this is about to go.

“Come with me.”

His voice is low but firm. He’s already sliding out of the booth, hand brushing your arm like he’s making sure you feel him.

You hesitate. Yuqi grabs your wrist. “Are you seriously about to go with him right now?”

Her eyes are wide, voice tight. “After everything he just said?”

You look at her, look at Haechan, and then at Yuta who’s just standing there watching, patient but not backing down.

“I need answers,” you say.

But even you don’t know if that’s all you want. He leads you through another curtain VIP-VIP. The kind of place with no phones, no cameras. Just velvet walls and secrets. He shuts the door behind you.

“Okay,” you snap. “So tell me everything. Why now? Why me?”

Yuta turns, the light hitting his jaw just right. He doesn’t speak right away. He looks at you. Really looks. Like he’s trying to memorize you.

“She talks about you like she hates you,” he says. “But people don’t talk like that unless they’re scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Of being replaced.”

He steps closer. “She saw the way Chenle looked at you. How you didn’t even try, and still had his attention.”

“That’s not my fault,” you whisper.

“I know,” he says, “but she didn’t care. So she sent me. Said, ‘Flirt with her, mess with her head. Make her back off.’”

He pauses. “But I didn’t want to mess with you. I just… wanted to know you.”

You stare at him. “So what, now you’re some kind of twisted love letter?”

He laughs once, breathy. “Maybe. But I meant it. I’d ruin her if she touched you. And I still will.”

You can’t breathe. Not because it’s romantic but because it’s real. Dangerous. Messy.

And that’s when the door FLIES open.

You both snap your heads—

It’s Chenle.

Out of breath. Eyes blazing.

“What the fuck is going on?”

Yuqi and Haechan are behind him, trying to pull him back, but it’s too late.

“Chenle—”

“I knew it,” he spits. “I knew something was off. Rheya’s crying in the car, saying some shit about secrets and you and Yuta?”

Yuta doesn’t flinch. “She should’ve told you herself.”

“Oh, like you’re innocent?” Chenle steps in. “You always wanted what I had.”

Yuta steps forward too, calm but deadly. “She came to me, remember?”

Chenle’s breathing hard. His fists are clenched. You’re stuck between them, heart racing.

“She was cheating on you,” Yuta interrupts, sharp. “You’re mad at the wrong person.”

Chenle’s face twists. “Shut the hell up—”

“She told me to distract her,” Yuta snaps, pointing at you. “And I did. But guess what? I ended up wanting her instead.”

Silence. Dead silence.

You could hear a pin drop.

You step forward. “Chenle—”

But he just shakes his head and walks out. Shoving past Haechan. Pushing through the curtain like he’s suffocating.

You don’t follow.

You just stand there.

And Yuta’s still watching you, his voice quiet now. “I told you this wouldn’t be clean.”

And it’s not. It’s a goddamn disaster.

But you can’t lie—Your heart’s still beating fast.

It’s from him. Chenle.

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You didn’t answer right away. You just looked at it. It reminded you of something small and sleepy. It was cute. You liked cute.

Before you could say yes, he was already pulling coins from his pocket.

“I’ll win it for you,” he said.

You smiled, but your voice was teasing.

“You really think you can?”

He glanced at you with that grin half cocky, half playful. “I’m lucky when you’re watching.”

The claw dropped.

Missed.

Twice.

Then three times.

You were trying not to laugh, but he was talking to the machine like it could hear him.

“Don’t embarrass me,” he whispered to it. “She’s watching.”

On the fourth try, the claw actually caught the bear. Wobbly and slow, it pulled it up and over and barely dropped it into the prize chute.

“HA!” he shouted, way too loud for how small the bear was. “See? Told you.”

He grabbed it and turned toward you, holding it out like a gift. But then paused.

“Actually,” he said, “I’m naming it after me.”

You blinked. “What?”

“It’s me now. A mini version. So technically I’m giving you me.”

You stared at him. He kept going, clearly nervous now. “Like, now you can cuddle me whenever. Or yell at me if I’m not there. He’s me. So be nice to him, okay?”

He pushed the bear into your arms and walked away before you could say anything, muttering, “Just don’t forget he’s me.”

That night, the plushie slept beside you. You didn’t plan it, really. You were just lying there, and it was already in your hands. You looked at it for a while, then turned your head and tucked it under your arm.

The next morning, Yangyang texted you.

“Did he behave?”

“No talking back?”

“He snores, I’m warning you.”

You sent him a picture of the plushie sitting on your pillow.

“He took your spot.”

“Too late to take him back.”

Yangyang didn’t answer for a while.

But when he did, it was just:

“Don’t let him fall in love with you too.”

Weeks passed.

The plushie started showing up in your photos. You didn’t mean to include it, but it was always there—in your bed, on your desk, beside your juice box, hiding in your hoodie sleeve. You started calling it “Yang.”

Yangyang didn’t say anything at first.

Then one day, he came over. Late afternoon, golden sunlight peeking through the blinds. You were curled up on your couch, half asleep, the plushie tucked under your chin.

He sat beside you quietly. Didn’t say anything right away. Then, softly, he lifted the plushie out of your arms and looked at it.

“He’s getting a little too comfy,” he said.

You smiled, eyes barely open. “He’s warm.”

“I can do better than warm.”

Yangyang set the bear down gently, then pulled the blanket back and slid beside you. He didn’t ask.

He just settled in slowly, his arm brushing yours, his hand close but not touching.

“Hey,” he whispered after a moment.

You hummed in response.

“That plushie thing,” he said. “It wasn’t just a joke.”

You turned your head, eyes meeting his.

“I think I gave it to you because I wanted to give you something of me. But then I started getting jealous of it. ‘Cause you hug it like you’d hug me. And you smile at it. And sometimes I think… maybe you like him more than me.”

You stared at him, heart softening.

“Do you?” he asked, voice a little smaller.

You shook your head. “No.”

He let out a breath like he’d been holding it for hours.

You turned your body toward him. “You can stay tonight.”

He blinked. “You sure?” You reached out and pulled his arm around you.

“Yeah,” you said. “But only if I get the real thing. Not the plushie version.”

Yangyang smiled so gently it made your chest ache.

“Deal.”

That night, you didn’t need the bear.

The real one held you tighter than any stuffed animal ever could. And this time, when you fell asleep, he was still there in the morning.

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