starving for suffering

I just think the way Arthur responds to her when they meet up again in Saint Denis, the way he gets mad at her for what? FOR TRYING TO SAVE HER FUCKED-UP FAMILY.

It pissed me off, and yet it was understandable? Like yes, Mary says "..but surely you cannot hate a man for the sin of loving his daughter... and wanting better for her than.. than-" but I'm tempted to say that she's probably heard that from her dad more than a hundred times. They didn't feel like her words. They felt like they were drilled into her, likely for days, weeks, months, after she and Arthur split ways. They didn't feel like her words, not in that moment.

She's been the only one to actively try to keep her family together. She wasn't at fault for Jamie running away to the cult, but she damn well pulled herself together and left her home to go find him. She's not the one in debt with her "whoring, 'n gambling 'n drinking" but you damn well know she had to get up again and find her fuck-ass dad in this mess of a city. Wow, sounds like a cowboy we all know- ARTHUR MORGAN???!!

Oh, so she gets grilled for doing everything in her power as a daughter to keep her family somewhat functional, but hasn't Arthur been doing that the entire game?? Yeah, your brother ran off because of some scary responsibilities and needed to clear his head? Crazy. Daddy got in some trouble with the bank and has empty pockets? Old man still thinks he's got it even when he's off his damn rocker half the time? Right right... Selling off things that really don't belong to you? A brooch? A gang's familial loyalty? Right right...

I just think the way he throws that all back in her face is just so.. mean. She isn't controlling the way that the men in her life act, so to throw it back in her face as if those were the choices she made was just cruel. She doesn't mention his father figures or his biological dad. She doesn't talk about how his gang acts; she keeps it focused on his actions and his moral code. And for him to turn around and fault her for her father's and brother's choices is childish to me, but I think (or I want to) he realizes that a moment later when she pleads for some kindness.

I'm not gonna say Arthur and Mary are two sides of the same coin but they kinda are. I mean, they love their dysfunctional families with all their hearts. They stick by them even when they tear apart their plans, their dreams, their own sense of peace and moral standing. They struggle under this patriarchy, the system in which their fathers force their hands to be bound to their own or to struggle against the ropes of their making. Where they must stand in these boxes of "you go get married to someone who will take care of us (not you, US)" and "you go get that bag of money, that pelt, that gun, that horse so you can do your part of taking care of us". The box of "respect your father! He's done everything for you!" The box of "you will give everything because you owe me for bringing you into this world."

Mary is a widowed woman in 1890s America. I dunno about you but being a woman in society is already FUCKING DIFFICULT!!!!! But I digress, Mary Linton.

I know it's pretty common to read and understand the perspective of Mary only reaching out to Arthur for help, but even she admits it in her second letter that she's ashamed of having to do so again. I think she knew how it would've come off, and her tone when the first letter is read isn't that of someone trying to manipulate him. She is truly fucking desperate to get her baby brother back, and by writing to Arthur, is a huge fucking risk. I mean, she doesn't know if it will reach him. If he left the gang, the rumors around Valentine were just well-timed rumors and some hopeful ideas. She doesn't know if he even feels anything for her still. If he'll burn her letter or hold onto it until he has a favor he could cash in. We don't know how long it's been since they really saw or even wrote to one another, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say a nice while.

Mary is a woman (what no?). Mary lives with her dysfunctional, more-than-likely abusive father and her younger brother. By the sounds of her conversation with Arthur during the missions, she's basically had to lock in and be the supporting mother to them all. She has had to break her own heart for the sake of keeping her family together. I don't know if her late husband (Mr. Linton) left anything for her, so I'm left to guess that she's back at square fucking one with her bum ass dad and nervy brother. And if I may, if we look at Mrs. Jessica LeClerk (RDO), being widowed is rough, even with wealth to fall back on. That wealth, that standing in society, is actively under attack by greedy men who want to undermine her because there is no man to offer that space for her to stand at their side.

Mary could've gone up that mountain herself and cried, and begged, and bribed the Chelonians with money she didn't have (or did, who knows). Would it have worked? Maybe. Maybe Jamie would've seen reason if he saw his sister on her knees, desperate and worried sick. Maybe. But doesn't know if that maybe comes from a slim chance of success. She doesn't know if she'll make it through that winding forest, up that mountain, alone.

She really didn't need Arthur for the mission in Saint Denis. I think she just needed support. She didn't need a pair of hands with a lethal quick draw. Even Arthur seems a bit hesitant about her going into the stables alone with her dad, but he knows it's either fight with her dad in some horse shit or let her do what she thinks is best. She needed to know someone was in her corner, his side, and it isn't over her father's bad habits and the way he talks to her. Arthur offers to get the brooch back, but she doesn't tell him to do anything about it until afterwards. Only to not hurt anyone.

Even he makes a comment about it. "It's just a brooch, at least he didn't get himself killed." No. It's her mother's brooch. It's likely one of the few things Mary has left of someone that doesn't make her want to tear her hair out, or scream or cry. We know basically nothing of her mother but given how upset Mary is when she sees her dad selling it off for some drinking money, we know Mary loved her. Yes, it is just a brooch. But it's a brooch that breaks Mary from the soft-spoken, pleading daughter at the stables to the angry, frustrated woman calling him out for theft. Imagine that? Calling your father a thief in 1890s America?

And when we find her again after Arthur collects it back, she's tired. She's drained. All she's done is worry about her family, writing to Arthur for help when she knows how bad it looks to him, to her, to anyone who doesn't know them. But she takes these risks as a woman in this time period to try to preserve her family from further destruction.

During their last conversation in Saint Denis, she wants to believe for a moment that he will run off with her. This entire mess has lifted this fog from her life, and she realizes she has to take charge of it right now. And you can see her deflate when he says that he needs money. It isn't the obstacle of being poor; it's the process by which he'll obtain that money. He robs, he kills, he pawns off people's things, and hunts animals and sells their meat and pelts, bringing in bounties. He'll wrap himself up in his life again, and the end goal of being with her will fade like a sunset behind him. But she has to hold onto that hope, for herself, for once.

Yes, we know Arthur wants to take care of his family, and once that is handled, he can disappear. He can clean his hands of this life and hold hers, but she's also trusting him to do that. To give up the life of an outlaw, because if he slips, she's going down too. She is trusting him to keep them upright, and if I were her, I'd be a little hesitant about it as well.