#anon confessional

1) discharge? Totally normal. It can be a sensory nightmare, but unless it’s an unexpected amount (you know your boundaries for that, trust them) or it’s a thicker, mucus like texture, theres nothing to be worried about. If you are worried, find someone to chat to, like a teacher, parent, or friend. It’s a universal experience!

2) cramps will affect your legs! That kind of weak aching you feel when your period starts? The one that makes walking a lot more tedious and sometimes painful? You aren’t making it up, and a heating pad or weighted blanket (like you might use for your cramps) can make it a lot better.

3) hydration is genuinely the best thing. When you feel as gross and unhygienic as a period can make you feel, it can be hard to take care of yourself. Water will help your body heal, so keep a bottle near by.

4) your pain isn’t dramatic. It just isn’t. Your body is going through this process every month, and just because others experience it differently doesn’t make yours any less real. So, be realistic with your self care and what is achievable. You aren’t weak, you’re human and deserve comfort. Don’t overly tax your energy budget.

5) your questions matter! Tons of other people have em, like I do, and if you want answer, seek out the resources you have around you! I’m here to answer stuff, and if Ash allows this to go through, I’m sure that she has insights as well. You deserve to know your body so that you can properly care for and love your body. You rock!

Part of me is terrified that the only reason I'm attracted to Mac & Bobby is because my brain views them as more masc leaning & I don't know what to do about that I just feel so wrong about it & it makes me kind of want to avoid writing/consuming works with them as a centerpiece because what if I'm just fetishizing them.

S.O.S.,

ATrulyPetrifiedAnon.

dear a truly petrified anon,

you're allowed to have a preference when it comes to gender presentation. gender presentation doesn't always align with gender identity. for example, i'm non-binary, specifically transmasc non-binary! however, i tend to dress fem a lot.

you're allowed to have complicated feelings about it. i can understand why mac and bobby would appear masc to you, they do lean masc to me as well. nonetheless, i think you should take a moment to reflect and give yourself a chance to write/read content about them!

sincreley,

id like to share some of the things ive learned, in the small chance that there's someone who needs to hear it reading this

many people say "recovery isn't linear", but that's an oversimplification. i have a phrase that i find more specific and useful, recovery is not only valuable by virtue of longevity. recovery is a skill, something you learn and practice. like driving a car, you learn what you have to do, how to do it, and when. if you crash your car, sure, you messed up. you didn't check your mirrors, or ignored signalization, or stepped on the wrong pedal, but that doesn't mean you went back to day one of learning how to drive. your efforts were not wasted by your mistake.

a relapse, as long, horrible, painful as it might be, does not erase everything you went through. relapses are common regardless of whether it's talked about or not. relapses can happen at any point in recovery, and whether it was a day after sobriety or ten years, whether it was an hours long relapse or a months long relapse, it will not make your progress any lesser. the sooner you internalize this, the quicker the process of self-forgiveness will be.

self forgiveness is one of the most important steps. not everyone will forgive you for the things you did during addiction, but you must recognize your mistakes, and you must forgive yourself for them, because that'll be the most important forgiveness you will get. guilt and shame does not drive change as much as love for yourself, and truly believing that you deserve better, will.

building a support group can be hard for those of us that don't have the privilege of rehabilitation facilities, but with patience, you can find people who will understand you, and look out for you. there's forums and online communities for recovering addicts, and while not all of them are healthy (i cant help with that) you will find at least one person that you click with in this wide world

everyone has different goals. maybe your goal is to be able to have a drink every once in a while without relapsing, and your recovery has to mirror that. you shouldn't drink alone. you should find friends who will look out for your safety and hold you accountable. you should practice keeping your cravings in check when inebriated (even off a single drink). it takes effort, but the brain can be rewired. i have met ex alcoholics that still drink a beer every friday, that go to sleep pleasantly buzzed, wake up the next morning like they've never gone on days long bar hopping journeys.

or maybe your goal is to never touch drugs again, and your recovery should also mirror that. find new hobbies and circles that don't trigger you, and when you are triggered (it is inevitable), self-report to people who care about you when you crave. it is possible to reach this goal, it always is possible.

seek therapy. you don't have to come clean about your addiction right away. try, instead, to talk through the reasons for your addiction. everyone has one (or multiple), whether or not they like to admit it. be it undiagnosed mental illness, traumas, being in overly stressful situations (such as, for example, working as a paramedic or doctor) all those things can lead someone to addiction. being medicated for depression and unpacking my trauma is the thing that allowed me to attempt recovery in the first place, because for the first time, there was another outlet.

dont wait until you're at rock bottom. if you see that addiction is taking things from you, that you can't enjoy things without involving your addiction, that your life without it feels bland and unlivable, that is reason enough. you deserve to enjoy your life without dependency, and to find coping mechanisms that won't drain your life away.

more importantly. we do recover. there's always a light in the darkest nights. your worst days won't be your baseline forever. you are capable of change.

and if you need to hear it from someone, i forgive you. you deserve better. i believe in you.

If you were diagnosed with an Amoxycillin allergy (or anything in that vein with that type of antibiotic) but you were an infant and your only reaction was hives or a skin rash, you may be able to get "delabled". There was a study done and basically, it's not a true allergy just an infant immune system panicking. Really cool imo. If thats you, ask a doctor next time you have a checkup if they can do that if you have some time!

happy disability pride month<3

they drilled into me since a very young age that i had to be polite while eating. meaning chewing with my mouth closed and being as quiet as possible. that made sense to me, as i have misophonia.

JUST FOR THEM TO BE THE LOUDEST CHEWERS IVE EVER MET???? HELLO

I was genuinely wondering what I did wrong and if she was questioning my ability to use the bathroom, or if I truly needed to use it in that moment. Turns out, she just wanted me to ask “may I use the bathroom?”, which is what she told me after a while of me staring and then eventually responding “yes?”.

Anyways, I have several moments of misinterpreting or not understanding people, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there was an issue with me that made it difficult to communicate with others.