Emo 🐾

love when stories inflict unspeakable horrors onto a person for no real reason. its not karma. its not payback. its not a lesson. its not your fault. no ones even out to get you in particular. youre not the chosen one or special or anything. it just sorta happened and you were there. sorry man

“This kink is problematic when you think about it” ohhhhhh shit ok lemme head on over to the kink store and trade these kinks in for one that make my jackoff fantasies morally superior

wdym where's my halo? you don't need a halo to be an angel, and i clearly am look at my beautiful holy wings.. wdym they're covered in soot and brimstone? you can't say mean things like that to an angel like me! they're literally radiant and pretty??? wdym "what about your cartoonish succubus tail?" that's literally my fucking angel... thing.. it's got a heart on the end ur not working with me here wdym wdym

*flutters my wings indignantly in a way that makes my boobs bounce* ur all just jealous of my angel thing

Sex is great but have you considered hitting me as hard as you can

i wish i could reblog all the i hate sex posts because they’re terribly funny but unfortunately it’s just not true. i don’t hate sex. i’m literally thinking about it while i’m on the clock. on the clock? i wish i was on the. well. i shan’t say

New sleep style: hitting the snooze button so many times that you sleep two additional hours in ten minute intervals. I call this Horse Sleep

Worse sleep. That was meant to say worse sleep

I Am So Fucking Tired

Literally immediately after reblogging this to correct it I went "wow, it has a reblog already?" And got all the way to checking my notifs before I realized. That it was me.

Anyway horse sleep: sleep, but horse. Worse. Sleep but worse. Definitely one of the two.

the night mares will continue

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

happy pride month 2021 I ain’t quittin’ you…

I mean I think a part of the ‘scary background’ bit is the thing where the individual in question is staring directly at the viewer from a foggy pond in a dense forest. And also the literal burning halo

sounds like a normal Friday night. if a sister wants to go on a walk in the evening who am i to stop her. if she has a burning halo that’s the will of god.

i show a neanderthal a doom metal album and they understand implicitly. they pick up a bass guitar and start to play it instinctually

Was made to groove

my man

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

christian pitcher throws a christian baby

i would fuck him [remembers im talking about a real person] um [remembers its normal to be attracted to people] i would fuck him