What'd I Miss?

Sometimes reminiscing about pre-quarantine I feel like minor Russian royalty reminiscing about pre-communist revolution times. I’m like…ah yes I used to wear different beautiful outfits to work every day and shake the hands of many people without fear. I would simply leave my house and stroll into a bar for a last-minute cocktail with a friend. I would knock back oysters, sitting elbow-to-elbow with others at the counter. there were plays and concerts I never went to. The tzar invited us over often and had a GIANT chandelier

[id: an inaccurate 1800s reconstruction of iguanodon]

Bro İ hate being an academic they're making me write shit 😭 İ thought İ was just supposed to sit in an old chair smoke & say something french every now and then 😢

I should be allowed into every museum's archives actually

just misread ‘can’t stand minions’ as ‘can’t stand minoans’ and spent 5 minutes pondering how much of a grudge you could really have against the population of bronze age crete

This post was made by a mycenaean apologist

Remember that one Goosebumps story where like, the kid was getting progressively hairier and it just ended up with his parents telling him, “Oh you’re actually a dog, like we couldn’t have kids so we gave a dog these experimental shots or something and it morphed into you but I guess the shots are wearing off now and we can’t get more.” and the kid was just… “I’m a dog. This is fine.” 

R.L Stine vs. Franz Kafka FIGHT!!!!

mike’s hard past couple of months