The One and Only

Individuals run on fuel the way cars do. We all use different types of fuels whether its unleaded 91, E10 or diesel. However, unlike cars we all run on our own special blend and sometimes I don't think we always know the secrets ingredients that fuel our personal desires. We are all using our fuel to get us somewhere. Some of us take the back streets, others the main roads and some take the highways. We aren't all heading towards the same destination, and even if we are, we all take our own routes. But along the way, as with cars, you will need to refuel and check how the engine is running. Sometimes we use pure willpower as our fuel, this may work for a short distance but in the long journey to your final destination it will never be enough. But every time we stop to refuel and look back on our progress in the last span of the journey we can modify our fuel to suit our needs. We might not always take the fastest route, but as they say, it’s the journey that counts for more than the feat of reaching our desired destination.

When we give someone a second chance it is a way for us to deal with a flaw in character or opinion of that other person. I have a friend who despite what I have heard about them, I don't really let these other details get in the way of my opinion of them. In reality this approach is short-sighted and harmful and I really should see if there is any truth behind what I have been told. But even if I knew the truth and heard it directly from this friend, I still can't bring myself to unfriend this person. I want to believe that despite our mistakes we are just trying to find ourselves and become better people. There is no advantage to holding someone's past choices against them. I don't believe that people are inherently good or bad, we just make decisions based on our circumstances and what we wish to gain. Do I give this friend more chances in the hope that who they are now is not a reflection of their past or do I cut the ties now? I have been told before to cut the metaphorical rope of friendship, but I believe I have found a friend in this person. And not only a friend, someone who inspires me to be better both directly and indirectly, so when I weigh the circumstances I can't agree with my friends who tell me otherwise.

Growing up is all about change. Changing yourself to find who are meant to be or want to be is good. However, mirroring and shadowing others is not the way to go about it. It's one hundred per cent okay to try new things to find your passions in life. But, one must consider why they are trying to change and who for. If you are trying to change yourself for someone, this will ultimately fail, instead make changes for yourself. Don't forget that you are your own person and that 'being yourself' isn't about copying your friends or peers. Just try, as hard as it may be, to be the best person you can be because this is one of the many paths to happiness. At first you may find it difficult to be comfortable with who you are as a person, but given time everything will fall into place.

Words are a powerful tool or weapon depending on how you look at it. And, it is because of this that your mother tells you as a child, "If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all." This little rule usually comes in handy when you find yourself feeling a rush of emotions, it keeps  us from saying things we might later regret. But, the thing about hurtful words, is that it is what we say without thinking that hurts more than that thoughtful constructed monologue you have in the back of your mind. Now that social media exists, we are able, more than ever, to post, tweet or update whatever we are feeling the moment we begin to feel it. This allows us to connect with others, but it can also distance us if we do not choose our words wisely. But even if you do choose wisely, the words you once wrote to express a thought, an idea or an emotion can be twisted and wrought into something harmful and poisonous. So upon hearing or reading hurtful words, one should remember that we can never truly understand the situations of others. It pays to remember that we all have our own views on life and that we should show respect towards others and give them a chance. Don't hold someone against a few words on paper or on a screen, give them the benefit of the doubt and this will reap its own rewards.

When you are consumed by an idea, you sometimes shut the windows of your mind to the world. This is okay if for a short period, but if it continues can do damage to you. It is so important to keep an open and positive mind. I tell others that a positive attitude can make all the difference because it really can. Someone who thinks positively is rarely stopped or hindered by difficulties or challenges. Additionally, keeping an open mind allows you to learn from the world and the people around you. If you are not willing to learn, you will not get very far in life. Life is about learning from your experiences and taking them forward to a brighter and better tomorrow. Don't let yourself be consumed by a habit or an idea, you must remember to live your own life everyday. Take control of you, and make the most of everything that has been given to you and everything that have worked for.

The most important message I took away was how fortunate I am with all the opportunities that I have received and furthermore, just because times are tough, doesn't make it some dramatically terrible event. Life is full of ups and downs, life is described as a roller-coaster for this very reason. If you look to tomorrow with an open-mind and positivity, you will get a lot further and face a lot less adversity (or at least it won't affect you anywhere near as much). 

What is your favourite memory? I don't think I have one favourite memory, especially because we make more memories ever day as we grow as individuals. However, when I look back, my favourite memories aren't necessarily a beautiful city or landscape. I love looking back on a moment that was defined by the people that were there. Not everyone may believe that it is people, not places, that make memories, but nothing is more beautiful that sharing a moment with someone else, whether you know them or not.

I have been wrong before and I will be wrong again, but what is most important is that I learn from the mistakes that I have made. A friend of mine made a promise to me, and I mistakenly assumed that they had broken it. I was furious (at the time) to say the least, to put trust in a person and only to have them turn against you and break your trust. My emotions were rash and I did not consider the events from both sides. I judged someone who I called my friend much too quickly. The thing about friendship is that it is a two-way street, I should have trusted that my friend had done the right thing. We did not talk for a while after these events, and looking back on it now, I sorely regret it. However, this is in the past, we have resolved the issue and things are back to how they were before. I never want to make a mistake like this again. I lost a friend who I never deserved to get back again but somehow, they saw something in me that allowed them to forgive me for my rash emotions. And it is for this forgiveness that I am grateful.

I digress, it is not the ending that makes a story beautiful, but the journey that each character takes to get to that ending.

When I was younger I was afraid of the dark. Like most children I believed in the monsters hiding in the darkness. Yet when I flicked the lights on, there was nothing under my bed but dust, nothing in the closet but my clothes, yet I was so sure something would come and get me. I grew out of my fear of the dark as I got older, but I developed newer fears. We fear the unknown and the uncontrollable, however, life would not be as precious without its challenges. Overcoming our fears is critical to growth. I do not know what it is that I wish to do with the life I have. I know I want to make a difference in the lives of others, but how do I approach such a massive task. As I have grown older I have learned to embrace fear. It is a powerful emotion that can push us to our limits, but if controlled can lead us to great successes. I am not afraid of the dark any more, I am not scared of the unknown and I am ready for any challenge that comes my way.

Rowing is one of my true passions, I know this because I have nothing but vivid memories and more importantly, it makes me feel alive. I have found few other things in my life that make me feel this same way. It is a gift to find true love in something, whether it be rowing or a person, but this love should be treasured nonetheless as it is rare and precious thing. Love is powerful, it makes us do crazy things, but in the end its worth doing the crazy things, because all we have is this life and nothing more.

In school they make you read simpler texts whether they be novels, plays, movies or so on. We must realise that often these texts have been chosen because they have easily understood themes, simple characters and the same base plot. Yet in life morals and themes are not to be found on a silver platter. Nor are humans the two-dimensional figures often portrayed in these stories. The things about humans is that we are complex, multi-dimensional creatures, we rely on reasoning led by emotions and past experiences. This is not often captured in our classic literature because the themes and characters are simplified. All of us have our own stories, our own plot to our lives, and our own experiences to guide us. I find that classic texts often do not capture the complexities of life within their pages but that does not make the texts themselves invalid. We will never be as simple as the characters we find in our favourite novels or movies, and it pays to remember this. Never judge a person on a single experience because you do not know the battles they are fighting or the experiences they have had.

In life we must all make choices, and some decisions are harder to make than others. With choice, you often have sacrifice following in its shadows, hidden to those who are not looking for it. When we make choices, we are blinded by the light of the prize at the end of the tunnel and we forget to look for these sacrifices that we often mistake for consequences. Sacrifice is not equivalent to consequence. Sacrifice is made before and while the decision is being undertaken, consequence merely follows the decision. We all make wrong and misguided choices but what is important is that we, as individuals, learn from the mistakes we have made and try our best to improve who we are.