---------O.N.E.---------

Jacks: You can ask me whatever you want, Little Fox

Evangeline: Splendid! Tell me about the apples.

Jacks: Next question.

Cardan: What do you want to know

Jude: I found a piece of paper with my name on it, Over and over, just my name

Cardan: ...

Mfs get married to supposedly "form a trustworthy alliance" -> Cardan exiles Jude the next day to impress her, because apparently his rizz disappears when it truly matters 💀 -> Jude takes it seriously, stays in the human world for months and is salty af -> Cardan cries himself to sleep and writes pathetic little letters to her. Like wow you did that to yourself you dumb bitch 😭

And don't get me STARTED on their dumbass confessions. Cardan's was, I'm pretty sure, 80% on a whim. Like, maybe he had prepared the words in his mind but he didn't plan to confess to her right then and there at such a bad time. Says "well you probably already guessed as much" at the end then RUNS AWAY probably because he's overwhelmed and Jude is left standing there like???? No I fucking didn't guess you liked me lmao??? I'm dumb af bro, should've been this direct from the start :')

And Jude's is also hilarious because she says it kind of hurriedly as soon as they're alone, since she had promised herself to tell him the first moment they get together. Girlie confesses and CARDAN DOESN'T BELIEVE HER 😭 so homegirl has to EXPLAIN in DETAILS when she thinks she started to fall for him, why she started to like him, why she believed he didn't like her and why she felt the need to hide it. And ONLY after that whole ass explanation Cardan's finally like "omg!!! You liked me because I'm clever and funny?!?? Omgggg..."

1: Do you like me?

2: I MARRIED YOU

1: Yes but did you marry me as a friend, or like, a wife unclear

Evangeline: Once!

THIS COMING FROM THE SAME MAN WHO SAID “i try not to think of you at all.” TO EVA. STOP. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

Aeduan: the reason I get out of bed

Safi: awww that's cute

Safi: literally nobody has to do it