Sesuur, Vrydagoggend. 'n Woonstel op die tweede vloer in die Kaap.
Daar hoor sy hom weer. Elke oggend in die stort, nes sy begin het met haar tee. Ten minste sing hy mooi. Glimlag Hana en dink, Hy klink nes my pa. Ek moet eintlik eendag seker gaan groet. Deesdae vind sy dit moeiliker as toe sy jonger was om vreemdelinge te gaan groet.
Die ketel klik af soos sy hoor hoe hy inslaan in die koor in van ABBA se Dancing Queen. "You can dance, you can ji-ive." vang sy haarself saamsing. Dis goed om 'n ekstra hupstoot te kry elke oggend. Sy haar beker nader bring aan haar lippe en vluister vir haarself "Kuyabanda namhlanje, yoh." Sy voel bietjie trots op haarself. Haar isiXhosa het eintlik bietjie beter begin raak oor die laaste paar weke. Haar gedagtes by die werk is die laaste ruk al versot op die idee van vriende maak in die Kaap en een van haar pogings was om te probeer 'n nuwe taal leer. Na al twee jaar het sy skaars al iemand oorgehad vir 'n aandete. My ma sou skaam kry as sy nou hier was. "Man, kry nou klaar." Sê sy vir haarself en klim van die bank af. Haar medikasie lê al reggepak op die kombuistoonbank. Sy sluk die twee pille en maak ‘n nota vir haarself dat sy die dokter moet vra vir 'n hoër dosis. Haar lewe is na aan perfek, maar kan sy nie dink aan iets anders as net skaamkry heeltyd nie.
Die stortkraan van die bure draai weer oop. "Wel, wel, wel. Wat gaan nou hier aan." sê sy met 'n glimlag, Sy weet dit is sleg om betrokke te raak by vreemdelinge se lewens, maar hierdie sal definitief help met haar gemoed. Sy stap by die gangetjie af en gaan sit in haar kamer. Met die venster oop kan sy amper alles hoor wat aangaan in haar buurman se huis. Ons moet definitief dikker mure hê. Dink sy en onthou hoe erg dit was met haar laaste metgesel wat sy middernag 'n ruk terug oorgenooi het.
'n Vroue stem steek deur die klank van stromende water, die eggo van die geteëlde kamer laat haar besonders goed klink. Die woorde van Bent Knee se Being Human bons teen die mure en by die venster uit, 'n treurige toon aan die vrou se stem. Voel sy dalk ook so alleen soos ek? vra sy vir haarself. Haar been begin bons op die vloer en sy bring haar hand tot by haar mond en voel haar naels buig tussen haar tande. Die prentjie van die diefwering voor haar venster word dof soos sy in die dieptes in staar.
Sy wonder oor die letsels op haar gewrigte en of enigeiemand ooit sal vra oor hulle. 'n Traan bou in die hoek van haar oog en sy voel hoe sy begin snik. Haar keel trek toe en die trane het begin loop. Sy laat haar gesig val tot in haar oop palms en voel hoe haar lyf saggies ruk.
"Hey there! Are you okay?" hoor sy 'n stem buite die venster. Haar lyf skiet saam soos sy skrik. Sy’t jou gesien. Sy dink seker ek’s ‘n gemors wat net haarself jammerkry in haar pyjamas. Jy kon net die gordyn toe trek en dan sou sy nooit weet nie. Haar hande vee oor haar gesig soos sy sniffel en terug antwoord. "Yeah, no, I'm fine." Sy trek haar rug op en soek vir die stem. 'n Vrou met nat hare se kop steek uit net bo die vensterraam van haar buurman se badkamer. 'n Lakenwit gesiggie wat met 'n groot mond sag glimlag. Haar rooi hare klou vas aan haar nek soos sy vir die vrou kyk. "You wanna come over in a bit for a coffee?" vra die rooikop vrou en kyk af en sy trek iets op, "Maybe in like 20 minutes." 'n Bloos blom in haar wange en sy giggel vir haarself. "I promise I'll be dressed by then." lag sy vir haarself. Hana voel 'n glimlag kruip oor haar wange met 'n sagte sniffel wat sy trek. "Okay, I'll be there." sê sy terug en hoor die rooikop vrou se, "Yay! Okay, I'll see you now."
Vyf-en-twintig oor ses, die buurman se deur.
Haar skoene trap sag teen die vloermat voor die buurman se deur. Okay Hana, hulle is net mense, hulle sal jou niks aandoen nie, wees net normaal en dalk maak jy vriende. Dink sy vir haarself en lig haar hand na die deur toe. Klop-klop-klop. Klink haar kneukels teen die deur. "Welkom!" hoor sy die stem van die laaste paar maande amper bo haar kop uitroep. "Haai!" groet sy terug en buig haar nek soos sy opkyk na die reus van 'n man, 'n bree glimlag vas op sy gesig, swart hare wat effens kuif oor sy voorkop voor hy dit terugkam met sy vingers. 'n Maer man wat 'n effense lompige selfvertroue in sy houding het. "Ek's Divan. Kom in, ek hoor jy is genooi vir koffie." Sy glimlag trek breer. Sy glimlag skaam terug en treë by die deur in soos hy pad maak vir haar. "Dankie." Sy voel hoe haar oë oor die sitkamer skandeer. Soveel kleure, soveel goed. 'n Reenboog kamermat in die sitkamer onder 'n groen tafeltjie wat se verf bietjie afgevlek het, kuns van alle soorte teen die mure in stowwerige rame, twee klein banke wat oorkant mekaar staan, rooi en blou met 'n pers enkelbank wat die stel volmaak. "Is daai tuisgebakte beskuit?" Hoor sy Divan se stem. Sy skrik uit haar enkeltoer van sy sitkamer uit. Sy voel die roomysbak in haar hande, amper asof dit vir die eerste keer verskyn het. "Ja, self-gebak. Eergister klaar gemaak." glimlag sy soos sy die bak vir hom aangee. "So jy is die rede dat ons gebou so lekker ruik op Sondae?" "Ja, seker." lag sy sag. Terg hy vir my of grap hy net? flits 'n gedagte deur haar kop.
"You made it!" hoor sy die vrou se stem. "I'm Irene, but you can call me Ivy if you want." Hoe klink sy soos sonskyn? wonder Hana. "Hi Ivy." groet sy terug, "Thanks for having me over." sê sy. "I see you've met Divan." sê Ivy soos sy nader trek aan hom. Hana kyk hoe haar pastel blou vingernaels deur sy lang vingers glip, 'n mooi prentjie om te sien. Hana glimlag en sien hoe Divan iets in Ivy se oor in fluister. Ivy frons so effens en trek 'n sagte glimlag soos Divan terug opstaan en Ivy amper verstomd vra, "Het sy nie nounet vir jou gese nie?" Divan skud sy kop en kyk vir jou soos hy sien hoe Ivy haar kop buig na jou, amper asof sy hom aanhurts. Hy glimlag effens skaam, "Skuus, ek het vergeet om jou naam te vra." Hana glimlag en sê, "Ek's so jammer. Ek het nooit gese nie. Ek's Hana." Het jy rerig nounet jouself nie eens voorgestel nie? trek die stem haar aandag. 'n Stilte val effens oor die kamer. "Hoe drink jy jou koffie?" vra Ivy soos sy in die kombuis instap. "Net melk dankie." Hana sien hoe Divan loop na die rooi bank toe en vir haar sê, "Jy is welkom om te sit as jy wil, sy maak altyd met die moka pot koffie as sy kom kuier. Vat altyd 'n tydjie om daai ding te gebruik." Hana glimlag skaam soos sy sitplek in neem op die blou bank, hande in mekaar ingevou met haar duim wat vryf teen haar palm. Op en af druk sy om kalm te bly. Sy kyk weer om haar en sê, "Jy het 'n baie mooi woonstel." soos sy die plafon skandeer en die kamer verder inneem. Hy glimlag en trek sy skouers effens terug. "Baie dankie. Ek thrift al vir jare meeste van hierdie goed, en Hana het ook 'n hele klompie al aangebring." Sy frons effens. Is sy al langer hierso as wat ek gedink het? Hoekom het ek nog nooit haar gehoor nie? "Hoe lank is julle al saam?" vra Hana, nou nuuskierig. "Amper so ses maande al, maar sy kom kuier nie so baie hier nie, meeste van die tyd kuier ons by haar plekkie in Obz." "Oh, oukei." die stilte hang weer. "Hana!" hoor sy uit die kombuis uit. "Ons het gegeurde koffie ook as jy soek?" Hana draai om op die bank en skree terug, "Watookal julle drink sal lekker wees dankie."
Sewe uur, die buurman se sitkamer.
"... en, oh my word, jy moes gesien het toe daai boks oopskeur en daai Russian dolls so uit dop uitmekaar uit by die trappe af!" Lag Ivy en Divan se diep lag eggo hare soos Hana sien sy duim vryf teen die agterkant van Ivy se hand. Sy lag saam, 'n effense blydskap wat haar omring vir 'n rukkie, sonskyn wat val op die pers enkelbank, die klank van voëltjies in die bome en van mense wat oppad is werk toe, 'n sagte, koel bries wat deur die venster waai. Sy voel haar foon vibreer in haar sak, "Skuus julle, ek moet gou hier antwoord." Sy sit haar leë beker neer op die tafeltjie en haal haar foon uit haar sak uit. Dis nog nie eens agtuur nie dude. Dink sy soos sy Ncedo, haar kollega, se naam op haar selfoonskerm verskyn. Sy sug en tree in die gang in. "Molo Ncedo." groet sy, "Molo Hana. Kunjani?". "Ndiyaphila enkosi, unjani wena?" sy hoor hoe hy effens lag in die foon in. "Ndiyaphila nam enkosi." sê hy vir haar. "Listen Hana, I'm very sorry, but can we push our meeting to ten? I am stuck in traffic and its taking very long to get to office." Dankie tog, ek het nie uitgesien vir 'n half nege vergadering nie. "That's fine, Ncedo. I'l see you then." "Enkosi Hana. Hamba kahle" groet hy haar. "Hamba kahle, Ncedo." Sy druk die foon dood en glimlag. Sy sien hoe Ivy en Divan saam lag en tree terug in die sitkamer in.
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Six A.M., Friday morning, a second floor apartment in Cape Town
There she hears him again. Every morning in the shower, just as she starts her tea. At least he’s got a nice voice. Hana smiles and thinks, He sounds like my dad. I should probably go say hello one day. These days she finds it harder than when she was younger to say hello to strangers.
The kettle clicks off as she hears him break into the chorus of ABBA's Dancing Queen. "You can dance, you can ji-ive." she finds herself singing along. It's good to get an extra boost every morning before she brings her cup closer to her lips. She whispers to herself "Kuyabanda namhlanje, yoh." She feels a little proud of herself. Her isiXhosa has actually started to get a little better over the last few weeks. Her thoughts at work have been obsessed with the idea of making friends in the Cape lately and one of her attempts has been to try to learn a new language. After two years, she's barely had anyone over for dinner. My mother would be ashamed if she were here right now. "Man, get over it." She told herself and got off the couch. Her medication was already packed neatly on the kitchen counter. She swallowed the two pills and made a note to herself to ask the doctor for a higher dose. Her life was close to perfect, but she couldn't think of anything else other than being ashamed all the time.
The neighbors' shower faucet turns on again. "Well, well, well. What's going on here?" she says with a smile, She knows it's bad to get involved in strangers' lives, but this will definitely help her mood. She walks down the hallway and sits in her room. With the window open she can hear almost everything that goes on in her neighbor's house. We definitely need thicker walls. She thinks and remembers how bad it was with her last partner she invited over in the middle of the night a while ago.
A woman's voice pierces through the sound of running water, the echo of the tiled room makes her sound particularly good. The words of Bent Knee's Being Human bounce off the walls and out the window, a sad tone to the woman's voice. Does she perhaps also feel as alone as I do? She asks herself. Her leg starts to bounce on the floor and she brings her hand to her mouth and feels her nails bending between her teeth. The image of the burglar bars in front of her window dims as she stares into the depths.
She wonders about the scars on her wrists and whether anyone will ever ask about them. A tear builds in the corner of her eye and she feels herself starting to sob. Her throat tightens and the tears begin to flow. She lets her face fall into her open palms and feels her body twitch gently.
"Hey there! Are you okay?" she hears a voice outside the window. Her body jerks as she’s startled. She saw you. She probably thinks I'm a mess who just feels sorry for herself in her pajamas. You could just pull the curtain and then she would never know. Her hands wipe her face as she sniffles and answers back. "Yeah, no, I'm fine." She straightens her back and looks for the voice. A woman with wet hair's head sticks out just above the window frame of her neighbor's bathroom. A sheet-white face smiling softly with a big mouth. Her red hair clings to her neck as she looks at the woman. "You wanna come over in a bit for a coffee?" the redheaded woman asks and looks down and she pulls something up, "Maybe in like 20 minutes." A blush blooms in her cheeks and she giggles to herself. "I promise I'll be dressed by then." she laughs to herself. Hana feels a smile creep over her cheeks with a soft sniff she pulls. "Okay, I'll be there." she says back and hears the redheaded woman say, "Yay! Okay, I'll see you now."
6:25 A.M., the neighbour’s front door
Her shoes click softly against the floor mat in front of the neighbor's door. Okay Hana, they're just people, they won't hurt you, just be normal and maybe you'll make friends. She thinks to herself and raises her hand to the door. Knock-knock-knock. Her knuckles clank against the door. "Welcome!" she hears the voice from the last few months call out almost above her head. "Hey!" she greets back and bends her neck as she looks up at the giant of a man, a wide smile fixed on his face, black hair that slightly crests over his forehead before he combs it back with his fingers. A thin man who has a slightly clumsy confidence in his demeanor. "I'm Divan. Come in, I hear you've been invited for coffee." His smile widens. She smiles shyly back and steps through the door as he makes way for her. "Thank you." She feels her eyes scan the living room. So many colors, so many things. A rainbow rug in the living room under a green table that has a bit of paint chipping off, art of all kinds on the walls in dusty frames, two small sofas facing each other, red and blue with a purple single sofa completing the set. "Are those home-baked rusks?" She hears Divan's voice. She is startled from her solitary tour of his living room. She feels the ice cream tub in her hands, almost as if it has appeared for the first time. "Yes, home-baked. Made the day before yesterday." she smiles as she hands him the tub. "So you're the reason our building smells so good on Sundays?" "Yeah, sure." she laughs softly. Is he teasing me or is he just kidding? The thought flickers through her mind.
"You made it!" the woman's voice pops into the living room. "I'm Irene, but you can call me Ivy if you want." How does she sound like sunshine? Hana wondered. "Hi Ivy." she greeted back, "Thanks for having me over." she said. "I see you've met Divan." Ivy said as she pulled closer to him. Hana watched as her pastel blue fingernails slipped through his long fingers, a pretty sight to witness. Hana smiled and saw Divan whisper something in Ivy's ear. Ivy frowned ever so slightly and gave a soft smile as Divan stood back up and Ivy asked almost stunned, "Didn't she just tell you?" Divan shook his head and looked at you as he saw Ivy bow her head towards you, almost as if she was urging him on. He smiled slightly shyly, "Sorry, I forgot to ask your name." Hana smiled and said, "I'm so sorry. I never told you. I'm Hana." Did you really not even introduce yourself just now? the voice catches her attention. A silence falls over the room slightly. "How do you drink your coffee?" Ivy asks as she walks into the kitchen. "Just milk, please."
Hana sees Divan walk over to the red sofa and says to her, "You're welcome to sit if you want, she always makes coffee with the moka pot when she comes to visit. Always takes a moment to use that thing." Hana smiles shyly as she takes a seat on the blue sofa, hands clasped together with her thumb rubbing against her palm. She rubs up and down to stay calm. She looks around again and says, "You have a very nice apartment." as she scans the ceiling and continues to take in the room. He smiles and shrugs his shoulders back slightly. "Thank you very much. I've been thrifting most of this stuff for years, and Hana has also put in quite a few things." She frowns slightly. Has she been here longer than I thought? Why haven't I heard her before? "How long have you two been together?" Hana asked, now curious. "Almost six months already, but she doesn't come here that much. Most of the time we visit her place in Obz." "Oh, okay." the silence hung again. "Hana!" she heard from the kitchen. "We have flavored coffee too if you want?" Hana turned around on the couch and shouted back, "Whatever you drink will be good, thanks."
7 A.M., the neighbour’s living room
"... and, oh my word, you should have seen that box rip open and those Russian dolls fall apart down the stairs!" Ivy laughs and Divan's deep laugh echoes her as Hana sees his thumb softly graze against the back of Ivy's hand. She laughs along, a slight joy that surrounds her for a while, sunshine falling on the purple single sofa, the sound of birds in the trees and people on their way to work, a soft, cool breeze blowing through the window. She feels her phone vibrate in her pocket, "Excuse me, I have to answer this quickly." She puts her empty cup down on the table and takes her phone out of her pocket. It's not even eight o'clock yet, dude. She thinks as she sees Ncedo, her colleague's name appear on her cellphone screen. She sighs and steps into the hallway. "Molo Ncedo." she greets, "Molo Hana. Kunjani?". "Ndiyaphila enkosi, unjani wena?" she heard him laugh slightly into the phone. "Ndiyaphila nam enkosi." he said to her. "Listen Hana, I'm very sorry, but can we push our meeting to ten? I am stuck in traffic and its taking very long to get to office." Thank goodness, I didn't look forward to a meeting at half past eight. "That's fine, Ncedo. I'll see you then." "Enkosi Hana. Hamba kahle" he greeted her. "Hamba kahle, Ncedo." She hung up the phone and smiled. She saw Ivy and Divan laughing together and stepped back into the living room.
