You'll Never be a Star Now

#piazadora! Yes I kinda queened out...but it's PIA!!

Fuck Tammy Faye. I'm putting all my chips into this little Massapequa number. With her aviator sunglasses she wore from (literally) 1987-1992 (she could only buy one pair before PTL ceased operation) and her ass-kickin black boots (again, worn from 1987-to MAYBE Spring 1989...those boots WERE made for walkin' afterall...) you have to keep asking yourself..."THIS BITCH WORKED IN A CHURCH?!" She's always talking about John Fletcher fucking "anything from animals to old ladies", posing nude, having phone sex, operating phone sex lines, posing nude again and on Howard Stern telling Sam Kinnison "he can go to fucking hell" I LOVE JESSICA HAHN. She was born in the same town as Amy Fisher too. Must be something in the water. AKA I was supposed to get Jessica Hahn's 1987 Playboy today but it didn't show so look at this pic made by the @kristianmingle And she never wrote a book. All her work is in the pages of Hugh Hefner's magazine.

Now with Bidi-Bidi-Bom-Bom-Bubble gum eyes!

One day I'll stop putting my hands behind my back like Gia Carangi. One day.

Here's something I just uncovered in my mass cleaning: #spicegirls lollipop stickers. The gum ones were cheap and for your casual Spice fan..but that .75 cent lollipop was extra special. It took me MONTHS to get Geri's "C" to spell out "SPICE" and when I found it, it was on a telephone pole randomly. Notice, however her etched out of all of them. After she left, she was banned from my history books. She destroyed my perfect band and thus, my childhood. It was unforgivable...no matter how long it took me to get that sticker.... Mommie Dearest mode...once you leave....I don't know you.

In the land of kitsch and campy. #gaynerd

"Man...who gets drunk and cuts this family's hair?" -Lisa, #wcw, #roseanne

Keepin LI classy

Grandma and I. Coffee cups just out of frame. I love her to pieces. She's to thank/blame for my warped sense of humor. Love love LOVE her!!