; personal shit.

Dear Diary,

waking up to nothing

Sometimes I find myself sitting in one spot for hours, staring at nothing, thinking of nothing, feeling nothing, and, most disturbingly, caring about nothing.

I never really understood why kissing was such a big deal. But then you kissed me. And oh boy, I never wanted to stop. Feeling the sparks through my entire body, that feeling was surreal. I could do that for days and days on end. You tasted so good, kissing you was one of the most addictive things I’ve ever done. But now you aren’t here to kiss me. You’ve got me wishing that we’d never kissed.

“I loved you in all the ways I could never love myself”

He wasn’t a bad person. But if he isn’t bad I can’t hate him. And if I can’t hate him, I can’t move on.

“Despite the world telling me not to, I loved you anyway.”

“Don’t go back to what broke you. Remember why you left.”

If thinking about you and replaying our memories in my head is the closest thing to having you then I’ll do it no matter how much it hurts me.

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”