baby, you're a dreamer

you might be wearing boots and a leather jacket, but i'm wearing boots and a leather jacket in a buffy summers way, which is completely different and far superior

very disappointing when someone says "the bird app" and for one lovely moment I think they are talking about Merlin Bird ID by Cornell Lab, the free app that allows you to identify birds by appearance or sound, make a list of birds you have seen, and explore all the birds native to your region.... and then I realize they are talking about twitter.

well first of all shane is not selfish he filled a fruit bowl with doritos and he bought ilya ugly water shoes and carried his bags and put ilya’s sweaty unshowered post-plane post-long drive dick in his mouth, willingly. and then made him burgers. and he has his own well. in case ilya is thirsty. so jot that down

They should invent doctors that actually give a shit about your rapidly decreasing health and rising levels of chronic pain that are slowly taking over and ruining your life.

Good naps will have you sleeping in poses usually reserved for dead insects

Important question. What are your top 3 fruits