how many kinks u got son
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@olddnorsewitch
how many kinks u got son

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This made meĀ laughĀ for a couple of minutes it is soĀ hilarious and cute!
šššš
ok here we go pet peeve no. 45678: when girls are made fun of for behaviour that has literally been drilled into them by society. letās go through some of these.
haha girls are all like ādonāt look at me without makeup on!!!!ā:Ā maybe because we are taught from a very young age that weāre ugly without makeup. if we donāt wear it weāre asked why we look so tired, why we didnāt make an effort today, why we seem slobbish. as we grow older if we donāt wear makeup weāre seen as unprofessional and it can actually affect our careers but no yeah it definitely doesnāt make sense that weāre insecure about our naked faces whatever
man my gf always takes food from my plate so annoying lol #relatablecontent: probably because sheās fucking starving but it was instilled in her that cute girls eat like precious baby bunnies so she got a salad but all she fuCKING WANTS ARE FRIES. JUST GIVE HER THE FUCKING FRIES.
girls always go to the bathroom together haha lame and weird: mainly so we donāt get attacked asshole. also having a pee buddy is fun i pity you and your pee-buddy-less experience. when do your friends tell you how nice your hair is. oh thatās right they donāt because guys are the fucking worst
look at these drunk girls tottering around on high heels they look ridiculous: i will defend to the death womenās right to get just as completely shitfaced as men and donāt even ACT like itās not practically fucking mandated that if a woman isnāt wearing high heels she isnāt dressed up. high heels LITERALLY GIVE ME BACK PROBLEMS but i have to wear them for work because if I donāt iām not āāāāāprofessionally dressedāāāāāā give me a fucking break
WOMAN AND SHOPPING. OHOHOHO BOY.:Ā yeah ok so we have to spend money you donāt on makeup products, skin products, hair removal products, pads and tampons, and on top of that weāre expected to change our clothes more often than youĀ which means we need more of them, and also womenās clothing sizes are voodoo so every fitting session is a battle with your self confidence. AND we pay the gender tax. i fucking hate shopping. i do it because i have to, you buttnerd. and even if some women enjoy shopping im sure some men also enjoy shopping??? why must you gender??? activities??? why is this the world we live in????
girls on their periods are fucking psycho hahaha!!!: no weāre just in more or less constant pain so we have less patience to put up with your your bullshit. not to mention that a womanās testosterone levels actually INCREASE on her period so GUESS WHO WEāRE MORE FUCKING LIKE, CHAD. GIVE A FUCKING GUESS.
lol girls spend forever in the bathroom lololol: all right first of all if weāre talking about say, a sporting event, and youāre complaining about all the women who are queueing to go to the bathroom, we have a COUPLE MORE STEPS INVOLVED THAN PEOPLE WHO CAN JUST WHIP IT OUT AND THEN TUCK IT AWAY. not to mention the fact that yeah we have to take a second to double check the paint smeared on our faces or the socially acceptable hairstyle weāre wearing. weāre not allowed have fucking buzzcuts chad. apparently having less than the requisite amount of dead protein on the top of our head makes us a target for verbal abuse on the street chad. how about ranting about the people who built the stadium or whatever who KNOW it takes women longer to go to the bathroom but normally lot the same amount of stalls to men and women?? AND IF WEāRE TALKING ABOUT PERSONAL MAINTENANCE yeah ok buddy and how long does it take you to shave your legs? you think I like spending SEVENTY TWO DAYS OUT OF MY LIFE accidentally cutting myself and pulling muscles in my thighs??? well. i dont. so thatās why i donāt do it mainly. but we probably spend the rest of the time slathering ourselves with anti-aging creams because everyone is falling over themselves to tells us that our sell-by date is 35 while George Clooney and RDJ will probably continue to play wry sexy playboys until their fucking hips fall off. go fuck yourself chad.
GOD. I CANāT EVEN GO ON. ADD YOUR OWN IF YOU THINK OF MORE.
this post is gold
I hate you ChadĀ
i was not expecting this to get popular at all but i will tell you one joyous thing: over 2,000 notes so far and not one single person has disagreed. WE ALL KNOW ITS BULLSHIT AND THAT IS SOMETHING AT LEAST.
Donāt forget:
whatās with the enormous purses women carry around?: you can fit a 10 year old childās deluxe train set down any of the 14 different pockets in your cargo pants and I have a seam pretending to be a pocket sewn on to a blue compression bandage pretending to be jeans so donāt even
Never not reblog, because Chad needs to fucking learn.
I mean letās be honest itās Hamilton, heās probably pretty proud of thatā¦

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Baby, seasons change but people donāt.
Glitter faces.
Donāt cry, CRAFT!
@danisnotonfire @amazingphil
i canāt get in lifts with people because i have a sort of phobia of breathing in peopleās breath
and when i got asked what was wrong by my law teacher (she thought i looked ill)Ā
I had to fucking reply āI prefer people when theyāre not breathingāĀ

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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My dog looks naked without his collar on.
@ aliens: i am literally begging u to abduct me right now
fresh
sometimes i remember that noya didnt wanna go back to the club unless asahi went back bc if the team won that would be proof they could win without asahi and i actually legitimately start crying
If you have a past with which you feel dissatisfied, then forget it, now. Imagine a new story for your life and believe in it. Focus only on the moments when you achieved what you desired, and that strength will help you to get what you want.
Paulo CoelhoĀ (via purplebuddhaproject)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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TIPS FOR MEETING DAN AND PHIL: FROM THE UK PHANDOM TO THE US PHANDOM
FOR ANYONE WHOS GOING TO MEET THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME
- Phil is squishier than Dan, and his hugs are longer
- If you say "sorry I'm shaking" to Phil he will say "aw that's okay, that's me before the show". It's his default, he says it to everyone who says they're nervous.
- Dan is really awkward, (shocker) you have to intiate conversation with him. As bad as it is, you can tell he's faker than he is in his videos because believe it or not, you make him nervous. He's also usually the one who says "thanks for coming". If you're going with a friend he'll try his best to include both of you.
- If you forget to give them the book to sign, they remind you. It's the only thing they know each person is gonna want, and they try to do it quickly. You might not even notice, they take the book, pass it to each other over your head and pass it back to you in the blink of an eye. Use that time to talk to them.
- A unique selfie or if you're funny they'll remember you. Although they've literally seen everything by now.
- do not confront them about phan I stg
- The guard is usually a dick. He restricts your time and doesn't let some people vlog, but know that Dan and Phil rebel against that as much as they can. If you sneak in with a vlog they'll stop the guard and say hi to it. You will not be taken away.
- Write everything down as soon as it happens, you will forget the details.
-They will say if they recognise you from your URL. Try not to ask them if they know you unless you're 100% sure, because yes, they will say they do to make you happy, and you won't know if it's true.
- You will be sad afterwards. And it's okay to want to meet them again.
Fantastic Foursome Artwork complete!
Featuring Space Boy Dan, Forest King Phil, Beach Boy PJ, and City Boy Chris