Little Letters (Sweet Pea X Reader) OneShot.
A/n: This is just a little oneshot that was inspired by the absolutely amazing ‘Romance is a Bonus Book’ It’s a wonderful, funny, drama filled k-drama that is on Netflix and I love it, lol. I watch alot of K-dramas and I was a little iffy about it, but it’s honestly brilliant. Anyways, with that being said I hope you all enjoy! If ya’ll like it let me know and I’ll write a little epilogue for this one lol. With all the love. Xx
Summary: Sweet Pea liked to drink and show up at your house- he was your bestfriend, so it was always okay. But what you didn’t know about was the little letters he would leave behind.
Warnings: None. Fluff-fluff-feelings UWU
Sweet Pea always liked to read, but he wouldn’t say he loved it. Reading was just a pastime, a little hobby that he found relaxing when he had free time, but since he had been perpetually busy since he was fifteen years old the hobby never grew into a second nature kind of love.
Now (Y/N) on the other hand… (Y/N) loved to read more than she loved a lot of things. You liked warm socks straight out of the dryer, possessed a special sweater that you always threw on when it was chilly, and found comfort from sitting by an open door or window when it rained outside. However, a book always accompanied you in those small pleasures.
When Sweet Pea had first seen you- not met you, because it would take weeks for him to say a word to the pretty new girl- you sat with a book held tightly in both hands, your eyes caressing each word printed on the paper as everyone moved around the library for their own reading material. But you took no notice of them, you were too busy living in your book.
Sweet Pea would sometimes come to the library and just watch you read- you were in the library every Wednesday and Friday- and quickly started growing more and more curious about the beautiful girl with (Y/H/L)+(Y/H/C) hair and amazing (Y/E/C) eyes that could be right out of a storybook as well.
You had noticed Sweet Pea your third day at the new College you transferred to at the beginning of your second year. He stood with his back towards you as you sat in your beloved corner of the library, you hadn’t taken your latest story out of your bag yet, but the little action that the much taller youth played out caught your attention and made you halt all your movements. Sweet Pea remembered the first time he saw you… and you remembered the first time you saw him.
Sweet Pea was tall and muscular and you could tell that he was one of the athletes by the bag he carried and the way he carried himself. But what really caught your attention and held it was his fingers; they danced over the spines on the shelves, light and quick as his rosey lips mouthed the names of the books. You watched intently, sitting back some as he pulled a book from its place and smiled, his hand rubbing over the cover with fondness. The moment was short lived though as another boy came around the corner.
“Come on man, we’re gonna be late for practice.” The secret smile had fallen from Sweet Pea’s face as he nodded and put the book back with haste, rushing from the library. You had shook the moment from your head as you went about your business, remembering the book burning for your attention. However, before you left, you went the the shelf Sweet Pea had pulled the book from and found it. Antidote By: Corey Van Landingham. You checked the book out and finished it that night. It became an unknown cycle that you both kept going through- one of you would see the other pick up a book that eventually got left behind and then you’d read it yourself.
When Sweet Pea did finally talk to you it had been raining. But it wasn’t a normal kind of rain though. In fact, it was a storm; The sky had just opened up and the sun had been covered by thick, dark rolling clouds. Sweet Pea had been passing by when it started pouring with claps of loud thunder and bright flashes of lightning. He, along with a few other students, had rushed in as quick as the storm itself had come. Sweet Pea subconsciously went towards the corner you always occupied and stared out the window, his hands positioned on his hips as water dripped from his hair and clothes like he had just gotten out of a bath.
“The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible…” Sweet pea had muttered as you looked at a water droplet on the end of his nose, putting your book down as you, too, looked out the window.
“…but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.” You finished the Van Gogh quote off the top of your head, your arms crossed over your chest as Sweet Pea turned towards you with slightly parted lips and smiling eyes. Introductions shortly followed and pretty soon a friendship was born that, surprisingly enough, transcended your love for reading.
It had been four years since that day and you were now an editor for a wonderful publishing company, Sweet Pea was a very popular sports radio host, and you both loved your jobs and the life you were living. You had bought your own home right after graduation that reflected who you were- warm, always open, homey, and filled with books that shared the words and wisdom that you couldn’t always convey to others.
You had bought your house specifically because it had its own library that the previous owner had filled with wonderful classics and gripping stories that you had read time and time again, and they were more than willing to part with the books to whomever bought the house. You had signed the contract that day, and within a month all the shelves were filled with your new treasures and the ones you had come to possess over time.
That’s when Sweet Pea had left his first letter.
He didn’t know why he was writing it, he was extremely drunk, but the rational part of his brain told him to he cautious. Sweet Pea had held deep feelings for you that surpassed normal friendship for a few years. He knew it was safer to not say anything because he’s rather you be his friend than his nothing. But, nevertheless, his hand wrote the slightly messy letters, sealed it away in one of the million small envelopes you had bought for thank you notes and well wishes cards, and shoving it in between two books on the shelves.
‘You’re making me soup right now in the kitchen, I can hear you mumbling the lyrics from that old Nirvana song you like, and your voice is really pretty… you’re really pretty, too, you know?’
It became a tradition; when Sweet Pea was drunk, he’d always show up at your door. You asked him once why he always came to you. You lived across town from him and all his usual drinking places, so why did he always go out of his way?
“You always make me feel better, you make me feel safe.” Sweet Pea slurred happily, his skin flushed for the copious amounts of liquor he had ingested. “You’re like home to me.”
You would always bring him inside with a shake of your head, letting him wonder around as you made him something to help sober him up. He had always been there for you, through breakups and work or family problems, he was your best friend, so you made sure to be there when he needed you too. While you made him something to eat or drink, Sweet Pea would go to your library and write you a letter, hiding it in the bookcase.
Sweet Pea thought you never found the notes, never read his silly little words, because every time he’d add a new one he’s check if the others were still in their place- they always were. Sweet Pea figured if you had found one you would have said something, after awhile he started to be more honest with his feelings for you… but you never did. You never confronted him about any of the letters because, in his head, you had no idea they existed.
But that was okay with him too. Sweet Pea never longed for you, his feelings for you never brought him pain. You were a bright point in his life, he would never push his feelings on you, so he continued living his life with you in it like he always had.
You had discovered the first letter just after Sweet Pea wrote the fourth, and the small words made you smile. You thought it was just your friend saying sweet words, but the more letters you found, the more you realized his feelings
‘I can tell you’re really tired with work and how that bumass boyfriend has been treating you… you have those little bags under your eyes that I haven’t seen since our last year in college. You keep trying to laugh and smile at my stupid jokes even though we both know you’re exhausted. I feel bad for coming over so late now, I’ll make it up to you tomorrow with coffee and breakfast. I wish you knew how amazing you are.’
‘You remind me of the color blue tonight. You finally broke up with him, but I can tell that you’ve been crying. Blue is for people who are sad and I hate that you’re sad. You deserve to always be happy. I promise to make you happy again.’
‘-I guess some people just have a way of making our small galaxy feel like the whole fucking universe… I feel like I orbit around you and I’m okay with that because I chose it myself.’
‘I want to take you to the ocean and just hold you for a little while. I want to hear the sound of your voice as the water makes it’s music.’
‘I was going to finally tell you tonight, but then the guy from your office came out of the bathroom. You’re laughing with him right now in your living room, I can see your hand rested on his arm, and I honestly think it’s breaking my heart. You sound so happy, I always want you to be happy like that, but I wish it was with me… I never knew that you could have a broken heart and love with it too… I guess you’ll always be my favorite star, even when you decide to light up other skies’
‘You don’t like my new girlfriend, I can tell. You’re too stiff around her and you’re laugh is fake. I don’t even know if I really like her, but you don’t want me, so I guess that’s why I’m starting to kiss strangers now.’
Some of the letters made no sense at all, they must have been the ones Sweet Pea tried to write when he was too drunk to even sit up properly. But the last one, the date on the top stating it was placed in it’s hidey hole only a week and a half ago, took your breath away and made tears leak from your eyes as you read it.
‘I think this will be my last letter to you. You know, for someone who loves books so much and makes them for a living, you must not read. All the other letters are still in their place, you haven’t found them, and I don’t think you will. Maybe one day, in a few months or a year even, you’ll finally get rid of some of these old books and find them- the letters, I mean. I’m going to try to move on from you now. That way, if you do find them, I can have a chance at the happiness I desperately wanted to give to you. I don’t think it’s fair to either of us; I love you too much and you love too many other things. It breaks me to know I’m only ever going to receive back a portion of what I give. It’s not your fault, though. I should man up and just tell you, but I’m scared of that rejection- not the one you’ll give when you don’t feel the same way, but the one that will weigh on our friendship until we don’t have one anymore. So I’m going to let you go now. I don’t mean that I’ll stop loving you, I’m sure I always will because you’re you, but I will stop hoping that you’ll love me back the same way.’
Then, at the bottom of the paper with the ink smudged with what could have only been tears that didn’t come from your sad eyes, were a few more words- much smaller and hard to read… but there.
‘No matter where you are, or what you’re doing, no matter what you’ve done, or who you’re with… I will always, truly, honestly, completely love you.’
“You’re not drunk this time, how odd.” You laughed as Sweet Pea took his coat off and rolled his eyes at you the same time he started rolling his sleeves up, moving further into your warm home as you pushed him playfully. It was almost 12 a.m. but you had told Sweet Pea to come by after work because he had left a book over at your house, you also promised to feed him so that helped persuade his decision as well.
“Is that judgment I hear in your voice? Aren’t you the girl who wasted all her money one night buying everyone’s drinks at the bar?” Sweet Pea teased, moving away from your hands as you moved to slap his arm. His laughter mixed with yours and created the familiar background music that played throughout so many of your best memories. Sweet Pea could smell the amazing aroma from the food finishing on the stove, a bottle of wine sitting on the dining table calling his name as he rubbed his cold hands together and moved to open it.
“Oh, grab your book first and put it in your briefcase, I don’t want you to forget it!” You called with only a glance, moving to stir the sauce you were finishing and turning other burners off. Sweet Pea rolled his eyes, his feet dragging as he walked towards the doorway of your library.
“Where-?” Sweet Pea called, your sweet tone cutting off his question only making him smile softly instead of angering him. The room was dimly lit but Pea knew he could find any book in their with his eyes closed.
“It’s on the second shelf between Dickens and Atticus!”
Sweet Pea quickly scanned the shelf, his eyes immediately falling between the poems collection and the classic; the cover was worn, the sleeve of the book torn at one corner exposing the rusty red hard cover. Antidote By: Corey Van Landingham. Sweet Pea saw that there was a checkout bar-code on the spine marked out, the name of the college you both attended barely visibly through the faded ink. With careful hands and questions in his eyes, Sweet Pea removed the book from its place and heard the fluttering of paper graze the wooden floor.
He didn’t know that you lingered in between the doorway and your living room, watching his slowly flip the pages and find his favorite lines without complication. He knew it was the same book from the school library because the coffee ring he had left on the 17th page on accident was still there. But why did you have it? Sweet Pea saw, from the corner of his squinted eyes, a small green envelope just by his foot and bent down to pick it up.
At first he thought that it was one of his own so he made a move to shove it back into the bookcase, but he noticed that there was a name sprawled across the front of it- his name, in loopy little letters that he knew immediately were yours.
If there was a letter addressed to him, then that meant you knew of the ones he composed for you…
Sweet Pea felt his breath catch in his throat, suddenly scared, and he didn’t want to open the paper at all. You stood far enough away that Sweet Pea couldn’t see you, but you could see him. You saw the anxiety in his face, the way his hands fumbled with the paper, and the hesitation. You didn’t step in though, you wanted him to make the decision for himself; to put it back in the bookshelf like he had never seen it, or to open it- to read the profoundly honest words from your heart meant only for him.
Sweet Pea chose to open the paper after a few moments of internal argument with himself, being careful to keep the envelope intact. The air felt thick to him in that moment as his eyes struggled to focus on the words before him. When they started to form though, Sweet Pea started to read.
‘I wish you would have said something to me sooner. I wish you would have told me all the things you felt instead of hiding them away where they were almost forgotten. You are the man I have loved for so many years, so, I wish you would have said something before now. We’ve been friends for awhile now, you know me almost as well as I know you. For so long I thought you never noticed me, not in the way I wanted you to. I thought you only ever saw me as just another friend to share your time with.
I abandoned the idea that you could ever feel anything for me that wasn’t platonic a long time ago. I tried moving on and going out without you. Without your smooth voice that calms me down or the loud echo of your laugh that is a song that I could know anywhere. I tried moving on by collection scattered dust, boyfriends and work projects, to create a way to have you in my life that didn’t hurt me because I would never hold your love.
You should have said something so much sooner, Sweet. I have been so cruel to all the guys I brought into my life and then pushed away because I wanted them to be something they never could… I wanted them to be you! I searched for you in someone else’s eyes and voice, I looked for you in someone else’s skin and smell. But they were never enough because they would never be what I wanted, what I longed for.
I stole this book from the campus library at the end of my second year. I’d never stolen anything, and I haven’t since, but… I took it. The first time I ever saw you, you were looking at this book. You ran your hand over the front cover and it looked like you were looking at something you truly loved.
After we became friends, you told me that it was your favorite book, but I had already read it almost a dozen times. We constantly gave each other suggestions on amazing stories we had read, and I bought ever book you mentioned… I read the things you loved because I wanted to understand you better.
Anyway, I borrowed stole the book because I wanted to give it to you one day. I wanted to tell you that I loved you, that I had fallen in love with you somewhere along the way, and give you the book because it was what started our story together.
We can still have a story, Sweet Pea.
You can either do one of two things. You can put this letter back in the book, stow it away in your bag, and not mention it. You can let everything in those letters you wrote to me fade away into nothing, into a memory that with eventually be forgotten- you can end this story before it even starts and that will be okay. I will still love you, but I will accept that. We will go on being friends that laugh too loudly and drink too much and read during rain storms and I will be happy.
You can put the letter back into the book, sit it down, and come into my dining room and tell me that you meant every word you wrote. Tell me that it’s all real, that you want me- that you love me- and we can have my new favorite love story.
You can pick whichever one you want, I will love you all the same, and I will be here no matter what.
“Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star.” — E.E. Cummings’
Sweet Pea wasted no time racing from the dim study, turning around the corner and seeing you standing right there. And for the first time, with tears glazed in your eyes, and his already falling softly, you both had the kiss you had dreamed about so many times.
Your story was only beginning.
izzy806
ellievsbear
dailybridgerton
turnnoffyourmind
2087
