OkC Protips

Two years later and I finally get the punchline to this recurrent pick up line (for a quick recap, go here: http://okcprotips.tumblr.com/post/124063992200/hes-back)

Protip: We can tell when you're sending out the same message to everyone who catches your eye. There's no need to confirm it by sending out the same missives again.

"Say yes, say yes, 'cos I need to know"

Protip: Do not presume to tell me what to do with my sexy. My sexy must flow freely!

Protip: Most women prefer to be referred to as "a cute angle" rather than a beautiful one.

Protip: If you're going to go down the awful, misguided path of prescriptive language use, at least follow those damned rules yourself.

Protip: Resorting to ultimatums puts you on the back foot before you've even begun.

Protip: If you feel the need to try multiple approaches, then it is unlikely that you have an adequate measure of the person you would like to contact. 

Protip: Context is important; just because that pick up line works at quarter to four in the morning at a club, doesn't mean it would work online.

He’s back! (http://okcprotips.tumblr.com/post/115033038710/protip-if-youre-confused-about-when-to)

Protip: Avoid anthropomorphic characterizations.

Protip: What your ex thinks no longer matters. Focus now on how YOU feel.

Protip: Never trust your first message to a random message generator.

Protip: If your only photo of yourself on a dating app is a flower, at least make sure the flower is in focus.

Protip: Try harder to disguise the fact that you are a time traveller, lest you get discovered.

Protip: [sorry, I got nothing here. Too busy taking a series of hot showers to try and rinse away the nope.]

Protip: Check your work before you bristle at someone who is only trying to help.