Genevieve Scogin

     Liam felt himself clam up as Gen mentioned his shutting down. It was what he did, his whole life. When he was confronted, he shut down. It was his biggest defense mechanism. He hated it about himself. He felt his grip on Gen’s hand loosen, his shoulders slump over, his posture falling, and his gaze fell to the floor. His typical shutting down M.O. 

     “So it appears the problem you feel is that you can’t communicate effectively as a result of his shutting down?” the therapist asked, making sure he understood the gist of what she was asking. 

       Gen knew this affected him and by the way he loosened his grip on her hand she felt awful for starting it, but that was why they were there to fix this issue no matter how hard it may have been. Gen squeezed his hand again and she looked at him with a small smile. She wanted to reassure him that no matter what, she loved him, always. “Yes, that’s what I’m saying.”  

      “I was definitely not,” he said with a light laugh. “It took me almost three months to build up the courage to try to approach her. And I couldn’t even do that. Honestly if I wasn’t standing behind her it probably would have taken another six months to actually talk to her,” he admitted, looking over at his wife, smiling slightly. 

      The therapist continued to ask a few questions about the beginning of their relationship. Mostly basic questions to know the origins of their relationship. He liked to start couples therapy from the beginning, starting with the good. Then going into their problems, and trying to find the first instances of said problems. Starting from the beginning, and working their way to present time. 

      “Now,” the therapist began, adjusting himself in his seat. “I like to go into some of the biggest challenges you two feel you have, and try to see where and how that started. Sound good?” he asked. Liam nodded in agreement. “Now, I’ve had this conversation with Liam before, so Gen, do you want to start us off? What do you think is the biggest problem in your marriage? Or at least one of them.”

      Therapy started all good and well until the therapist asked about the issues in the marriage. Suddenly Gen felt uncomfortable and she bit the inside of her lip. “Okay, well,” She started, looking at her husband before speaking. “Sometimes I feel like I have to walk on eggshells because I’m afraid he’ll shut down on me. I’m afraid to confront him over something as small as washing the dishes, or making the bed once he gets up in the morning and i’m not there.” 

It was like a weight lifted off her shoulders and she remembered why it was that she was in this line of work. It really really helped people. Now she had to talk about the bigger things. “Then there’s the more significant confronting him about having more kids, or why he’s afraid to show a certain amount of affection before he shuts down.” That was so much harder to say than she thought it would, but now that it was said she felt odd. Like she was better but not at the same time. 

      “Okay then,” the therapist said, picking up his pen. “I know this isn’t exactly couples counseling in the sense that you’re not here because your marriage is falling or anything like that, but when I have couples in here for the first time, I like to start from the beginning. Why don’t you tell me about how you two first met?”

      Liam couldn’t help but smiled slightly at the memory of meeting his wife. That day completely changed his life, and he was so incredibly grateful for it. “Well, we were actually at the coffee shop, waiting in line… and she was talking to her friend about some psychological thing and I chimed in. Definitely could have been smoother about that one.”

Thinking back on how they first officially met always made her happy. After all, it changed her life completely. He was her husband now. Gen dreaded the what if’s of it though, especially the what if he never approached her, where would they be today? Looking over at him while he spoke, her thumb smoother over the back of his hand gently and she laughed when he said he could've been smoother. 

“Lies, he was super smooth.” Genevieve started, looking over at her husband. “It was the happiest moment of my life right then.” Gen smiled, wanting to kiss her husband but not wanting to make anyone uncomfortable so she looked back at the therapist. “We were inseparable since.” 

      Liam almost let out a breath of relief when his hand came in contact with Gen’s. He laced his fingers between hers, squeezing her hand gently. It always amazed him how much her touch was able to calm him down, even in the worst of times. He remembered when his father was on trial, and how she wasn’t able to sit with him. He remembered how he would have done anything in that moment to be able to hold her hand.

      “Umm… nervous, honestly,” Liam admitted, scratching the back of his neck. He really wished he wasn’t so nervous about this. They needed to work through a lot, and he didn’t want to be anxious. What if he couldn’t open up? Or worse, what if he could and it was too much for her? He spent so much time protecting her from him and his past, and here he was, laying himself out on the table.

     “Nervous is okay. This is a big step you two are taking,” he said, opening his notebook. “Shall we just jump right in?”

Genevieve smiled when he laced their fingers together and squeezed his hand lightly, in affection, always. It made her feel better to know that her husband was there with her and that they were getting through this together just like a married couple should. 

When Liam said he was nervous a huge relief ran over Gen. She was so worried about offending him or making him feel bad, but with him being nervous too, they were united. She was so curious as to how this whole session would pan out. It was so hard for her to not be a professional in this setting. Opening up and being personal was so difficult. Gen felt sympathy for her patients. 

“Sure.” The brunette smiled and squeezed her husband’s hand again. Showtime. 

Liam sat down on the couch, his therapist already sitting in his chair. He was nervous as hell. He thought he was going to throw up on the car ride over. Therapy had brought up a lot of emotions and repressed memories for Liam, and he was terrified of what would be unearthed with his wife there. Even now he wanted to bolt out of the room and make a mad dash for the car. 

But he knew this was good for them. This was something he and Gen had to do. The two had a very good relationship, but they still struggled in some ways. They didn’t know how to argue or disagree, and he found it impossible to reach out to her for help. He knew they needed this. 

Liam rubbed his sweating palms together as Gen sat down next to him. He almost out of habit pulled her legs into his lap. He looked over at his wife and gave her a small, nervous smile. 

“So, how are we all feeling today?” the therapist asked.

( @ohxgen )

     The ride over was a little nerve-wracking for Gen. The only therapy sessions she’s had were the ones she had conducted. It was okay though because they needed this and she knew that they did. As a couple they were great, they were amazing, but when it came to confrontations or disagreeing with each other they usually avoided it all together and that wasn’t healthy. 

Liam smiled shyly over at her and she returned the favor, reaching for his hand. Yearning for his touch somehow. Mostly to calm her nerves, but also because they could read each other. 

 “So, how are we all feeling today?”

Gen looked at the therapist and nodded her head enthusiastically as she said the truth. “Good, a little nervous, but good.” Maybe she shouldn’t have said nervous... what if that offended or made Liam feel bad? No, it’s okay, it was why they were here.