totallynotabloodmage:
ohsweetmaker:
totallynotabloodmage:
ohsweetmaker liked your post:righteousmade replied to your post: …
// oh look a lil noodle wants in on the action >3
━━━ 「 once upon a time, the world was once again in a state of gone to shit.
it wasn’t the first time, and the second time was fairly close in terms of uncalled for awful, but this was different. as in, the kind of shit that prompts the divine to declare a new age, before going down into the deep roads to live naked among the nugs.
so thedas arrived at the shit age (the name was up for debate, but the chantry was too busy quashing rumors that divine victoria had finally made it official with her nug king).
for as long as cullen had been (ir)relevant to this story, he’d understood perfectly that his path in life was up to a malevolent narrative force. it either liked him far too much, or just pretended to when people were looking, then kicked him somewhere it didn’t show. it followed him across thedas, tousling his hair in an attractive way, even in daylight when people could presumably see him with their eyes. but mostly it served to breathe life back into his tattered ramen coil, because he’d always lacked a backstory which could have explained, logically, why he was still alive.
& he did die, probably. it was just that he always ended up back where he left off. since everyone else was usually dead (like for real) he’d never had to fully explain this to anyone – especially himself. he’d even added it to his CV, back at the start, as the kind of joke that hinted “I shouldn’t be in society” but he got the job anyway.
kirkwall was like that.
the point is, when the world ended, cullen was mostly fine. he’d been allowed to practice. he spent the time while others ran about screaming and goats were on fire really thinking it through.
when the hellscape cleared, he knew only two things could possibly survive as they had been.
1) only one other person was as unkillable in this fucking franchise as he was;
2) the deeproads were nice this time of year (& really, nug hands were only really creepy if you looked at them too long).
bye. 」
//everyone else go home, cae wins the internet and i am slain.
is it meta. is it crack. is it a starter. IS IT CULLEN’S SANITY FINALLY BREAKING. it’s all the above isn’t it.
━━━ 「 it’s all of the above. 」



















