#totallynotabloodmage

Hello all <3

I am so very sorry to have disappeared for so long. Even though I felt like I needed to fade back into the fog of war as it were for personal physical/mental health reasons, I dealt with it poorly, and I should have kept in touch way better than I did. And for that I truly am sorry and I apologize for any distress I caused any of my partners, and any worry you might have endured on my behalf. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. <3

Acute anxiety is a daily thing for me, and becoming aware that I dealt with it poorly was probably one of the best things that could have happened in my life. I have started therapy (and medication), and hopefully one day I will be able to deal like anyone else without retreating to my safety bubble and hiding out. But I am trying, and I will get better.

But until then-- if you still want to be friends with me: bless you, you are a saint and I don’t deserve you. If you still want to be my partner, then my god you’re probably a masochist (but you knew that anyway if we had a thread :P ) and I appreciate you more than I can say. If you need to dip, I understand that as well and I appreciate you, too.

To everyone who sticks around-- I am not going to reboot this blog, as I really want to keep it in the state it was before my absence. Both to remind me of what sort of awesome relationships I and Fen were able to build with all of you, all the amazing ooc fuckery, and to encourage me to cultivate those valuable connections in the future. I will be wiping clean most of my draft plate, however, though I am not adverse to continuing threads that had particularly strong/long-running plots. I also will not presume that Fen still retains the relationships that he enjoyed before, but if you would like to continue writing together, please just hit me up and we can discuss everything in pms (I also have many life story things I can share if you’re interested, so. Just ask for those as well).

Since I am still under a good amount of stress with life and work things, and I want to have a balanced experience here, I will be keeping my threads to a manageable level-- no more triple digit thread lists, I have most certainly learned my lesson.

I guess that’s everything. Thanks again guys <3 for your support over the years, for your company, for your encouragement and friendship. I appreciate you more than I can say, now and in whatever future is in store for any of us.

I’ll see you around <3 I will be lurking, dropping asks and posting occasionally as I get back into the drift of things. Feel free to poke me if you want to chat!

Much love,

positivity !

every time i read ‘do me’ i wink and it’s really weird since you can’t see it but, just for future reference: wink. 

honestly, hawke is someone i thought i’d be tentative to write with ( let’s just ignore the fact we were introduced and you’re a lovely bean ) because of the potential clashes in characterisation and choice since, well, that’s the way dragon age is and how potentially stubborn headcanons can be with the main ( samesies wardens ! ) but, well with you it just kicked off so fucking well. 

it’s been a long while honestly since someone has gotten my attention so quickly in a thread that we manage that speedy back and forth ( short lived because timezones and the need to pass out ) but it’s just, not only is your writing something that i adore working with, love reading, and appreciate as a beautiful talent among this rpc but also --- well, yeah it’s all that and fuckin’ beautiful and i’m enthralled. it’s so nice to read and sounds good in my brain and your hawke stands out a fuckton to me. 

it’s only the start of our threading adventures and he’s already such an impact and i’m super excited about all the chaos that’s going to happen because i can sniff out the evil person in you and there will be feels and pain and the occasional sof’ to make things temporarily better before the horrific reminder that we’re all terrible people who put our muses through some kind of torture but

i’m mcfuckin lovin’ it 

listen satan that’s not what sinday is about

I’LL TELL YOU.

// we just all wanna see pretty fen legs ok, don’t kink shame us <3333

vigilflight replied to your post:

-coughs- lets negotiate

totallynotabloodmage replied to your post:

//fenris in utilikilt y/y

praeceptore-m replied to your post:

// shit yeah kilts are a thing I completely forgot kjhkdgkdhd

luciouschest replied to your post:

just put fen’s head on ander’s body or ander’s clothes on fen and boom done

the-tevinter-biscuit replied to your post: