voidsagent

Jack stood in the empty staff room, jaw ticked a little to the side and tighter than usual. Robby’s open backpack sat on a chair in front of his locker. The white envelope in Jack’s hand suddenly felt very heavy.

A breath left his nose as he forced himself forward, heavy steps echoing against the linoleum floor. Jack ran a thumb over the envelope as he stared at it, looking it over one last time. Hesitation hit him suddenly—his mind racing of all the possible scenarios that could happen once Robby inevitably found what Jack was about to leave for him.

Jack forced himself out of his own head, sighing once before slipping the envelope carefully and quickly into Robby’s bag. It disappeared into the bottom of the backpack; sitting heavily in anticipation.

The door swung open behind him not a second later, Robby stepping in behind him. Jack almost jumped back, but forced himself to stay where he was—not wanting to bring any suspicion into the room. His fists opened and closed at his sides, brow furrowed slightly as Robby reached his bag.

He didn’t look in it, instead he shoved his hoodie inside, zipping the bag up and swinging it over his shoulder.

“You headed out?”, Jack asked.

Robby nodded; “Won’t ever leave if I don’t get going.”

Jack tilted his head just a fraction, looking over his friend with sincere eyes.

“You don’t have to do this, you know”, He offered, worry still pulling at his chest even after their talk earlier.

“I know”, Robby says; “But it feels like I do. Might be good for me.”

Jack couldn’t argue that a break would be good for any of them. Hell, he could probably use one himself. But he didn’t argue further—even if the idea of Robby out there in his own head for so long scared him far more than he wanted to admit.

Still he stepped forward, pulling Robby into another hug.

“You remember what I told you, if it gets dark or too hard—you call me. I don’t care what time. You call me”, Jack says, ducking his head a little to catch Robby’s eyes.

Robby sighs, shoulders relaxing a little as he offers Jack a small smile; “I will.”

The two words soothed something in Jack’s chest just a fraction.

Robby steps towards the door then, palm flat against the glass be fore he stops—looking back over his shoulder at Jack.

“Three months”, Robby says; “I’ll see you then, brother.”

Then he’s gone, stepping out of the staff room and leaving Jack in the silence he’d been standing in before. His chest still stung and felt tight, he still worried. But it wasn’t as strong now, knowing Robby had actually given him an answer this time.

Three months.

The time echoed in Jack’s head.

He could handle three months. Even if it would be the longest three months of his life.

─ ─── ─── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ─── ─── ─

A month and a half later, Robby found himself far out west—somewhere near Arizona. He’d been to Alberta, and found himself seeing what he wanted to see in Canada pretty quickly. He hadn’t expected to end up out west—it wasn’t in any of his plans. But something about it pulled him towards it.

The canyons and red rocks made for a peaceful and scenic drive. He’d never seen a cactus that had grown somewhere naturally in his life. He was checking things off of his bucket list he hadn’t even put on it before.

The warm hue of the bedside lamp shone through his hotel room where he sat now, reaching for his bag from the end of the bed. The room wasn’t big or glamorous; just cozy and big enough for him. A small tv sat on a dresser in front of the bed, it had a mini fridge and a nice shower. It was enough for a few nights.

Robby reached down into his bag, looking for the journal he knew he’d put in there earlier; when his fingers brushed something thin and papery.

He furrowed his brows, gripping the object between two of his fingers and pulling it out. The white envelope stared back at him, heavy and loud in his palm. ‘Robby’ was scribbled across the front in a handwriting that was all too familiar to the man.

With his heart beating faster in his chest, Robby carefully opened the envelope; pulling out the white paper inside. His breath hitching in his throat as he read the first line.

‘Dear Robby; I hope this letter finds you in a place that’s good. Somewhere you don’t feel heavy. The Pitt’s still going, your kiddos are doing just fine. We’re all managing. As I write this you haven’t left yet; but tomorrow evening you will. It scares me to death to think about you being gone so long, to be on your own. I know you’re strong enough, I know you can do it. But please, for the sake of your old best friend; do it safely.

Don’t worry about things here, don’t let your demons or the darkness control you. Let it in your heart, but overcome it. We all need you back in one piece. Safe. It won’t be easy with you gone, I’ll notice. Dana will notice. You keep everything straight on day shift.

You make me want to be better, you make me want to work on myself and not stay in the hole I created for myself so long ago. Doing this without you for the next three months will be one of the hardest things i’ve ever had to do. But i’ll do it; and I wish you were here to see me. I know that’s selfish and naive; but it’s true. You keep me grounded. It’s safer with you here. But I know you need this, I know it will be good for you. Enjoy it, let it overcome you—and when you’re ready; we’ll all be here waiting for you. I’ll be here. Stay safe, Michael. I’ll see you soon.

Love, Jack.

Ps: A new pizza place opened up downtown, I think you’d like it.’

Robby stared at the letter, eyes glossy and a smile on his face. Leave it to Jack to sneakily let all his feelings out, to comfort him when he needed it most. Robby felt himself laugh lightly at the last line, setting down the letter and reaching for his phone on the bedside table.

He fumbled with the screen a little, before clicking on the contact his thumb found like second nature. It rang twice before the call connected.

“Hey.”

─ ─── ─── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ─── ─── ─

Back in Pittsburgh, Jack rolled over in his bed; sleep clinging to him on a rare night off. The tv was still on in the background, offering noise instead of deafening silence. His phone buzzed on the nightstand next to him—his thumb swiping to answer in one quick movement. He didn’t need to fully look at the contact to know who it was.

“Hey”, Jack breathed.

“Hey”, Robby said back.

Jack felt his shoulders relax a fraction. It had been almost two months since he’d heard that voice; two months of wondering where Robby was and if he was ok. Wondering if he was safe.

“So new pizza place, huh?”, Robby asked.

Jack chuckled, the sound rumbling through the phone speaker; “You called me at midnight to talk about pizza?”

“Shit, I forgot it’s later there. Sorry”, Robby says; “Seemed like you were raving about it though.”

Jack shakes his head, even though Robby can’t see it.

“How’s the trip?”, He asks.

“Good”, Robby tells him; “I’m in Arizona…wasn’t on the list but, I’m glad I came.”

“Sounds like you’re having a good time”, Jack says softly.

Robby hums on the other end; “Better than I expected. I needed this more than I thought I did. Nature apparently does wonders.”

“Well I could’ve told you that”, Jack says.

He swears can hear the upturn of Robby’s lips.

“I’m ready to be back though”, Robby says.

“Yeah?”, Jack’s voice comes softly.

“Yeah”, Robby says; “Gets a little lonely out here sometimes...”

Jack shifts in his bed, rubbing at his sleep heavy eyes.

“Plus you guys will fall apart without me”, Robby jokes.

Jack laughs; “You need to come take your kids back, this whole working while the sun is up thing is really harshing my mellow.”

Robby’s chuckle comes through the speaker; “Gonna burn in the sun now, dracula?”

“I might”, Jack says.

The sound of a soft chuckle from both of them mixes together, Jack’s sigh sits heavy in his chest.

“I think you should take a trip too”, Robby finally says; “Might be good for you.”

Jack tsks once; “I think Dana would have my head if I left now.”

Robby tilts his head on the other end, balancing the phone against his shoulder as he holds the letter in his hand again.

“I’m not saying you have to leave the second I get back, just…something to think about”, Robby tells him.

Something in Jack’s chest twists at the sincerity in his friend’s voice.

“Ok”, Jack says; “I’ll give it some thought.”

Silence falls on both ends, Jack staring at whatever old rerun is playing on his tv—Robby staring at the letter in his hand.

“So Arizona, huh?”, Jack asks.

“Yeah, been here about a week. It’s nice.”

“I expect a grand canyon souvenir when you get back”, Jack says, smirk evident in his voice.

“Done deal”, Robby laughs.

Silence beats through again, Jack’s breath brushing against his phone.

“I should probably get going, got an early day tomorrow. Gonna start heading back”, Robby says.

Jack can’t help the twinge of excitement at the words.

“Yeah, I should probably get some sleep too”, Jack tells him, playing with the string on his pajama pants; “Got another shift tomorrow.”

“I’m uh, I’m gonna be upstate at the end of the month, found a nice little cabin by the lake”, Robby says; “If you wanna come join me for a weekend.”

“I’d like that”, Jack smiles.

“Oh, and Jack?”, Robby says.

Jack hums in response.

“Thanks for the letter.”

Jack feels resignation sit warmly in his chest, his lips twitching to the side; trying to hide his emotion even though nobody else is in the room.

“Anytime, brother”, Jack tells him.

A beat of silence goes by, only the sound of sheets rustling on the other end can be heard.

“Goodnight, Jack”, Robby finally says, though he doesn’t really want to hang up.

“Goodnight, Robby. I’m glad you’re safe.”

The line on the other end clicks off, leaving Jack alone in his tv lit room. But it doesn’t feel so lonely now. He doesn’t feel as anxious as he had the last two months. He feels…relief in knowing Robby is ok. Now looking forward to the end of the month and a much needed weekend away.

In Arizona—Robby lays in the hotel bed, staring up at the ceiling; Jack’s letter lying against his chest as he shakes his head softly. Thinking about what keychain from the gift shop Jack would like best. On both ends of the country, a feeling of relief and contentment washes over both attendings. Sleep comes easier and more restful than it had since the older man left for his trip. Robby happy he called; and Jack? Well he was already planning to call Robby the next day—and every day after that until they met again upstate.

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