cursed dog pics are a vibe

“Why would you stop in hell?” has changed my brain chemistry

Every vampire is all "oh drinking blood is better than any food, drugs, even sex" but I don't even believe them because all of them were literally made before the invention of really good drugs and before we got all the nice foods from the new world, so I don't trust any of their opinions. Lestat has never ate a potato and Armand hasn't ever even tasted tomaotes. The only guy I trust is Daniel Molloy who has probably tried every drug on earth, has definitely ate nice food and would be a valid judge on how good drinking blood really is.

think about how shitty a boyfriend yogi bear would be. “hey today let’s steal a picnic basket” hey today let’s do literally anything else, yogi. fuck you

I’m at my friend’s apartment in dublin. she’s been trapped in her bathroom for like an hour and maintenance just showed up with KITCHEN UTENSILS??? 😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀

he’s giving me attitude for asking for a locksmith. i was going to be polite for as long as we needed him as an ally but he’s run his use.

just realized he’s wearing a single latex glove. for why

the hinges require special tools, else i’d have the door off already lads i’m a dyke

probably tomorrow i'm gonna somehow be more organized and disciplined than i ever have been in my whole life so i'm fine probably

how is everyone feeling today

bbc merlin is a fun silly show that begs the question what if you were given a destiny you didn’t understand and you betrayed yourself time and time again in what you think is a selfless act of love that will serve a greater purpose, only for that to be the exact reason you fail and the undoing of the person you love most. and then the random filler episodes are like this witch is doing terrorism in camelot by sneaking magic mushroom bombs into the soup and merlin has to gaslight arthur into thinking he doesn’t like mushrooms or something idk

if shes your girl then why am I in her uncles dms lowballing his ebay listings