Jasmine

So here I am, I moved again. Exactly 6,984 miles from home. And like unpacking my luggage I open all the dating apps I have on my phone days after I arrived. I think this is the new frontier, finding who’s around via Tinder, POF, even Grindr or what have you.

It’s not that I am in hurry to find love but I’ve been thinking, I am wasting my prime years on failed relationships, first dates that wouldn’t even see the light of the day and yes I admit, one night stand. If I added up those times, I could have learned how to play the piano.

But finding someone in a foreign country and relating to them seems to be difficult. I am a sweet person, I am, but here, people often misconstrued that as clingy and it scares people away.

But you know, It’s kinda nice not having to guess someone’s feelings or intentions. You know what I mean?

To those who are asking, I’m here in Ireland.

When I rented my first house with my then girlfriend we had this neighbor who for this story we will call A for asshole. A had a dog, Theo. Theo was a big dog so he made huge shits, like the kind you would expect to get from a small cow.

The first time I mowed the lawn (huge yard, the house was in the left side of the lot with a big yard to the left of the lot) I got dog shit all over my jeans, it was so bad I had to trow the jeans in the trash. At first I thought it was the previous tenant’s dog so I left it at that.

Until one day I see A throwing Theo’s shit over my fence, I go confront him about it and he just said “I’ve always done that, never had a complaint. You have a huge yard so its not a problem, right?”

I just stood there dumbfounded, like im there confronting him about it and the guy said theres no problem. I repeated my request and went home.

But A kept tossing Theo’s shits over the fence. One day I had enough and decided that it was fair to give a taste of his own medicine. Every Sunday, right before mowing the lawn, I would scoop up Theo’s shit then deposited said shit in a container. I did this for over a year.

Then once I decided that I had enough I went over to A’s house and emptied the container by his front door and left a note, “I think this belongs to you”.

Just sat there at my porch waiting for him to come home with a cooler and a few beers by my side. When he got home he held his shirt over his nose and looked at the note, then at me.

In time, you will know what it’s like to lose. To feel so desperately that you’re right, yet to fail all the same. Dread it, run from it, destiny still arrives…