la guerrera;

Believe me- So am I.

"Christ, I would have to put up with him yammering about you all the time. And I was just sulking about thinking that I had just lost some great love. It was ridiculous." Her elbow now rested on her leg, her chin in her hand and her eyes were fixed on Monica. She felt like she was carrying on and on, that maybe she was boring the girl. But Sal wanted to make sure she filled her in properly. "So there I was, totally pissed about you two and then BJ moved back. The nerdy boy from middle school, with the vending machines and all that. He started working with you at The Cheesecake Factory and I fell in love with him. He made me realize that I never really had the feelings I thought I had for Ethan and once I realized that and let it go, I just welcomed you back into my life. Well, that and you were really sick. Which turned out to be a pregnancy, which lead to my beautiful niece, Ellie— you saw her earlier, right? She’s perfect and let me tell you, you’re super mom." Salem flashed her a smile before shifting in her seat, "But I’m getting off topic, let’s keep this chronological, yeah?"

"So you got pregnant, and you were staying at Ethan’s house before and after you gave birth. We started spending a lot of time together, so, yeah, we definitely became friends again. More like sisters." Salem laughed, trying to muffle it with her hand clasped over her lips, "Check your nipples if you want to see exactly how close we are these days" She jokingly raised her eyes seductively and leaned back in the chair, sitting her arms on the arm rests. "I’ve spent the last two and a half years watching you and Ethan grow together, learn together and coexist. It’s a good relationship and I’m very lucky to have you guys around me." She smiled sweetly, she hoped that Monica could read the sincerity on her lips. Part of her felt as if she was going to overwhelm the girl but if Monica wanted to be filled in on everything that Salem could fill her in on, then she would do just that. Her fingers tapped against the chair’s armrest gently before sitting up quickly and leaning forward, 

A bittersweet smile spread over Monica's face as Salem mentioned Ellie, her eyes dropping in thought briefly as she thought back to the beautiful brown-eyed little girl she'd met earlier. It was hard to believe that was her daughter, though the connection the two shared was obviously there because Monica found it all too easy to interact with the small child. But still, how were you supposed to believe that something happened when you had no recollection of anything involving it? Monica's smile turned to a softer, more content smile at Salem's mention of them being sisters. It was nice to see Monica hadn't totally alienated everyone over the past few years. After her big blow up with Aubrey, the brunette never expected to trust anyone again, let alone become so close with a whole group of them. 

With a furrowed brow, Monica tilted her head slightly before looking down at her chest. Curiously, her finger went to curl around the collar of her shirt, pulling it back to gaze down at her chest. The first thing she saw was the bruising from the accident, her skin painted shades of blue and purple and red. But then she focused, looking to her nipples to see the jewelry. "Oh.. my god. Did we do this together?" She asked, looking up with wide eyes, amusement glinting within them. "Thanks, Sal." Monica said with a small smile, taking in everything she had said. It was a lot, but the girl had done a great job of summarizing it all. For the most part, Monica could piece together at least a general idea of what her life had come to. How she'd gotten close with Ethan, and fallen pregnant, causing her to not go to school, and drop out of work. There were just a few pieces that....weren't exactly clicking. 

“Ellie’s first birthday was about a month ago,” Ethan said, holding his breath as he awaited yet another reaction. She had to be doing the math in her head, and the numbers wouldn’t sound good from any point of view. “She’s really, really something,”  he heard himself saying, “She’s a genius, and I know that’s what every parent is supposed to say but she’s so damn smart,” Ethan smiled to himself, “And she’s stunning, just breathtaking, she looks just like you- You never agree with me but she really does, ask anyone,” He realized that he’d been rambling to fill the awkward silence that he was dreading, “Um, but yeah- She’s great..”

 He could see the questions eating at her through her eyes, but the question that left Monica’s lips first was the last thing Ethan expected to hear. She really wanted to see the little girl that stopped her from pursuing her dream as a lawyer? The one that was stuck with the popcorn boy as her dad? Ethan sat silent, mouth agape before snapping it shut, ungracefully standing out of his seat and nodding. “Yeah, sure- She’d love that,” He faked a smile, but he knew she wouldn’t buy it either, “Just, I don’t know- She’s gonna be really confused, scared, y’know, So uh-“Ethan shook his head, how did he tell her to act like a mother when she didn’t know how to be one anymore? “Nevermind, I’ll just go get her.” He left the room with shaking legs, fearing the confusion that his daughter would be thrusted into when her mom didn’t do the things she was supposed to do, didn’t say the things she was supposed to say.

Ethan walked down the hallway like a zombie, he was finally able to drop the act he’d been putting on in front of Monica and he was sure he reassembled someone who’d just seen a ghost. He rubbed his hands over his eyes again and again, taking several deep breaths and muttering false words of encouragement to himself, “C’mon, Eth, pull it together.” Finally, he walked into the waiting room where his best friends and daughter awaited him, Salem stood up immediately, rushing towards him to envelop him in a hug and asking question after question with BJ right behind her, “Just- I gotta take Ellie, I’ll explain later, okay?” And he left them with just as many answers as they had before.

But then she paused. Her conscience cracking down on her as the voice of reason in her head that seemed to rule all aspects of her came to the front of her mind, calming her. She had to go along with it, at least for this little girl. Monica's mother was everything to her, and she couldn't take away Noelle's just because she couldn't remember her. She was young, she wouldn't have to play it up too much. Just enough for the little girl. 

The sound of the door reopening pulled Monica's eyes back to attention, her brown eyes landing on the ones of the tiny human being in the clutches of the popcorn boy. She was beautiful, just like he'd said. Her eyes seemed to be made of a perfect mix from her two parents, and she definitely had Monica's cheeks. Words weren't making it past her lips at the moment as she tried to take it all in, there was no doubt to Monica just by looking at her that this was her daughter, but dear god she couldn't remember the beautiful human being for the life of her. 

Noticing the confusion in the small girl's eyes, Monica cleared her throat, her face altering to a more softer expression, giving the girl a smile. She heard Ethan's questions, but didn't answer at first, the soft squeals of the little girl calling out to her mother making Monica's heart quiver, a warmth filling her. The next question pulled Monica's eyes back to him only briefly before they dropped to the girl, noting her big, confused and eager eyes. She had to play it cool. Closing her eyes briefly, Monica exhaled, letting herself get it together before her face changed into one of ease, reopening as she gave Ethan a little eye roll and reached for the girl. "Of course I want to hold my daughter Cross, it's not like I haven't done it a hundred times before. I carried her for nine months, after all." Monica said with a little smile on her face, reaching out to the toddler who seemed to jump into her arms. "Ahh that's my girl. Hi. Hi!" Her voice peaked into a higher, softer pitch as she held the small girl, brushing a stray ringlet out of her pretty face. "Hi mija. Tu eres mi cielo, chaparra. Te amo." Monica cooed at the little girl, watching her nuzzle into Monica's chest, causing her to wince only slightly before letting the pain settle and her stay there. 

Her hands reached up to stroke the girl's hair, smiling down at her before looking to Ethan, who she was sure was confused after that little charade. "I just.." She started, keeping her voice more quiet even though she knew the girl wouldn't really understand, " I just think it'd be easier on her if things stayed as normal as possible. I don't wanna confuse her." She pressed a kiss to the small child's head, continuing to comb her fingers through her hair as the girl nuzzled Monica's collarbone. 

She sucked in air through closed teeth, shifting her weight in the chair and trying to stay as normal as possible given the situation. “I am absolutely still at AMC, it sucks but I get to do basically whatever I want since Ethan quit and started working at The Cheesecake Factory. The boss has this thing about me, I’m like his favorite person. In an entirely skeevy way.” She wrinkled her nose slightly to show her disdain for the man. “Sometimes I feel like I’ll never get out. But it’s money in our pockets, you know?” She smiled before fiddling with the hem of her shirt. 

Raising her eyebrows at the question, a sigh left her lips, nodding. "Yeah, like..  May or June, I think. I'm still trying to pin point my... last memory. I think it was the... end of May? Like I remember graduating. Which was the beginning of May so.. Somewhere around there."  An exasperated sigh left Monica's lips as her eyes seemed to look out into nothingness, searching her mind for a moment before glancing to Salem and shrugging. "Eh. Whatever." A grateful smile spread over her lips at Salem's offer, nodding as the gratitude shown in her eyes. "Yes, please, fill in everything you can. I hate not knowing things. And I mean, it's not...exactly that I don't trust him.. it's just.. I don't.. he's so nervous and.. trying to tell me everything he does, it seems like he's so unsure of things and I just... don't know." 

Salem weaved in and out of nurses and patients filling the halls as she made her way towards Monica’s room. Her mind was running wild as she came to the door. Ethan had basically filled her in on the head injury, the loss of memory and how Monica currently thought it was Summer 2011. Which meant, of course, that Monica’s current memory of Salem was the memory that the two had spent the last few years repressing. She hesitated as she stood outside her room, leaning against the door frame and preparing herself to go inside. 

Two things were keeping Salem in the hallway. One, the thought of seeing Monica all hooked up to hospital machines made her heart drop and caused a sinking feeling in her stomach. She had never really liked the feeling that hospitals gave her and she had found herself in one way too many times in the last year or so of her life. The second thing that halted Salem was the fear of Monica rejecting her, refusing to talk to her. A lot had happened between the two in 2011 and it took the last two and a half years to get themselves sorted. Things were finally looking up for the two. Salem had a girl best friend. Salem had a sister. She wasn’t prepared to face the possibility of that being over with.

The sound of a door opening pulled her back, looking up to see a familiar redhead peeking into the room. If the popcorn boy hadn't told her everything he did when she woke up, Monica would've assumed Sal was here to push past the large discrepancy that had happened between them and was here because she cared, and was worried. But now Monica was unsure of almost every aspect of her life. "Hey Sal." She said softly, sitting up a little more, her face twitching as she winced in pain from sitting up too fast, before turning to look at the girl. "How.. are you?" She bit her lip, tucking a dark lock of her hair behind her ear as she tried to figure out what exactly was the right thing to say in this situation.