haunt me.

GIO: What would make it nicer? I'm open to all suggestions.

GIO: Just the lights and music were charming? I'm gonna need to step up my game then.

MERCY: you should try and get it online or something, i could help

MERCY: or something yknow

MERCY: it was good though. im sure people will show up

One of the best things about working in a preschool is some of the weird things the kids say. Like, okay, I had this one kid running around with his fingers under his chin and he was wiggling them around. I asked him what he was doing and he replies, “I’m an octopus! Can’t you tell by my beard testicles?” When I tell you I lost it…. kids really do say the darnedest things.

Nice to know my future kid is out there already, thriving. 

Ducks are way cuter than a lot of guys. I can’t blame you! I mean, hello! Look at Donald!

Always liked that screaming sailor. 

NO. That is not allowed. No remakes of Mrs. Doubtfire, that’s disrespectful!

It’d just be an insult to the late Robin Williams. There’s no replacing that guy, I’m still mad they tried to with Genie.

MARLS: I do??

MARLS: 🙈🙈🙈

GIO: Every other Friday for now since people aren't too interested in it yet. But I'm still at the shop on Fridays.

GIO: Why? Wanna share a cup of instant ramen noodles with me at the shop sometime?

MERCY: maybe. its a nice space

No! Stop your whining. If I let you have your way every single damn time, do you know how many stupid, useless things would be taking up space in our house? You almost bought that stupid Neck Magic Air Cushion one night and I literally had to climb on top of you to prevent you from calling. What about that one time you tried to convince me to let you buy the Better Marriage Blanket? You don’t even sleep with anyone long enough for them to know your ass even knows what flatulence is, but you were convinced it was a necessary purchase. And don’t even get me started about the Potty Putter.

Hey, I’m just saying when you have the opportunity to get a sugar daddy at a golf course, you’re going to wish you listened to me. Could’ve putted your way right into his will, but nooo, we had to pay electricity that month. Come ON. 

Are we talking an actual duck? Like a real live duck?

A whole ass duck.

Mercy Rose, I’m gonna use your own handcuffs on you and chain you to your bed until this momentary lapse of judgment passes. I refuse to allow a duck into our house.

Leviiiii. You never let me have any fun. 

Maybe this is my age talking but vine - tik tok - what is really the difference between the two?

2 words. Creativity, and originality. 

I swear, if you bring a damn duck into our house, I’m going to burn your favorite sweater right before your eyes.

Not yet. But we are breaking him out tomorrow night. I won’t be kept from the man I love.

REAGAN: SO!! Castlewood Town Fair time means one thing!

REAGAN: Now seeking someone to use their mad balloon pop/ring toss skills to win little ol' me the biggest, most ugliest stuffed animal I'm never going to use.

REAGAN: Will supply a few dollars worth of game rounds and will also supply you with funnelcakes for your hard work.

REAGAN: While we're here-- also someone to go on a big girl ride with me. I've decided I'm just gonna be brave this year and do it!

Evan: I totally made out with Blake. Remember my coworker who i mentioned before??? Yeah, him.

Mercy: and????

MERCY: hey