oh la lave

I swear to god I’m trying. But I’ll still never be good enough

Do you ever miss yourself? The person you were before you had your first heartbreak or before you got betrayed by a person you trusted?

He hurt you, so don’t you fucking dare to apologize for being angry about it.

The first time I tried to kill myself it was because I was angry and thought I could never be loved. The second time was because I had tasted love but it decided I wasn’t good enough.

I don’t want to see anyone. I lie in the bedroom with the curtains drawn and nothingness washing over me like a sluggish wave. Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. I have done something wrong, something so huge I can’t even see it, something that’s drowning me. I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead.

I refuse to tell anyone how bad it really got again.