surviving a bit better every day

I tell myself it would be easier

to erase you completely

no contact, no trace,

silence sealed in every corner of our lives.

A clean cut,

as if love could be amputated

without leaving ghosts in the body.

But I cannot imagine a world

where our thread does not exist.

Time stretches, distance widens,

yet a part of us remains untouched,

a constant flame

that refuses to bow to years or miles.

Perhaps I should hate you.

Perhaps I should teach my heart

to curse your name,

to rewrite us as illusion,

to call it all a lie so I could walk away.

But I cannot.

Because I know it was real.

Because I know love lived here.

Because I know the place I hold in you

and the place you carved in me.

Maybe it is our fault,

both of us too human

to make impossible choices.

So instead,

I keep the fire small,

a hidden ember

that will not die in the cold.

And when we are near,

it rises into flames again,

wild and undeniable.

It would be easier to despise you.

But instead,

I will love you still,

and only despise the way I love you,

the cruelty of a universe

that built a bond so fierce