Wade Fucking Wilson

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS

Wasn't me!

Hm. Strange.

But the anon is right. You are hot. ;)

Wasn't me!

Wade had been sitting in this abandoned warehouse for two hours, waiting patiently for Senator Jacobs to show his sneaky little face, and by waiting patiently, he was drawing stick figure doodles all over the cement walls with a piece of chalk that was barely holding it together -- almost like my sanity. Why was he waiting for a senator, you say? "Good question!" Wade exclaimed into the open air, his head turned directly to the reader, as if someone were actually there. "You see, I was paid by his wife, Cassandra, to kill this fucker because he's a disgusting pig who would rather sleep with his 20-something intern and lie to his wife's face about it than to be an actual man. What is he doing in this shitty abandoned warehouse? No idea. Don't care. I just got the deets that Senator Jacobs would be here at fifteen-hundred hours for some reason. Surely not to meet his intern, right? What a weird place to get it on..." Wade turned his attention back to doodling a stick figure of himself putting a bow on a grizzly bear and admired his handiwork when he heard the door creak open and two voices echo across the large warehouse. The game was on. Wade stood up, pulling his handgun out of his holster and heading silently to where the voices were coming from. Showtime, baby! @official-askanison

"Maybe future me knows that, but I've never seen that thing before in my life! We're in the year of our lord, Dolly Parton, year 2025 and I have not time travelled ever! But nice to know! I'd still impale your evil twin brother with a radiator as a hat with it if I had the chance." Wade shrugged and readjusted his suit. "Do you think he thinks he can fly with those wings on his helmet or is it to channel the aliens he's trying to communicate with? A piece of tinfoil could do that. So lame!" Wade was having fun talking shit about Cable's evil twin clone brother...whatever the fuck he was. "And damn, theater kid? Bet he would have been great in "Hairspray"! Alright...fifth and main, right? Think that's a few blocks from here. You really wanna duke it out with your evil self in the middle of a park or you got a secondary location?" Wade asked, making sure his guns were loaded and his knives were ready to go.

"We've never kissed either! Always wanted to because hot damn do those lips look kissable! Ten out of ten, would kiss again. I've worked with other yous before though! Like this other guy who said his name was Cable but he looked like Josh Brolin. That guy was a hunk! But he was so much shorter. Is he really even a Cable if he didn't use his powers and was just a glorified version of Bucky Barnes and wasn't able to reach the top shelf of a kitchen cabinet?" Wade asked, securing his mask back over his face before he checked his map to make sure he knew which building to go to. "Alright, so there's an abandoned factory in Jersey that looks like it's scheduled for demo in a few months. That should do. I'd patch you the coordinates but I don't have your contact deets to pass you the information." Wade said, flipping through the map on his phone for a moment just to make sure that the area would be clear for some epic battle. Once Cable gave him his contact details, he passed over the coordinates before looking up at the taller man. "Alright, off to go lie like my pants are on fire! See ya later, hotcakes!" Wade gave Cable a salute and leaned up to give the taller man a quick kiss on the cheek through his mask before he jogged off in the direction of fifth and main. "Alright, Wade, just tell Stryfe you couldn't succeed in killing him but captured him instead. Good plan. Tell him he's lying unconscious and tied up in some abandoned warehouse in Jersey and you can take him and his silly hat to him to finish the job." Wade whispered under his breath as he approached the boarded up bar and knocked on a slab of plywood.

"Holy fuck if you turned that frown upside down you could take Hallie Parker's place in the Parent Trap and Cable can be Annie James. I would pay to see that! Did you give yourself those scars just to look like your more handsome self or were you born with it? Or maybe it's maybeline..." Wade's thoughts drifted off for a second, and he tried to peek around Stryfe's shoulders to see if he could find that dumb hat. He was going to steal it just so he could make fun of him for it. "Anyways, sorry to disappoint muchacho. I don't got fancy powers like you or Cable so he's a lot harder for me to take down. Plus! I figured you'd wanna finish the job, seeing as you're gunning for his head and all. And I'm not exactly sure what you were offering the Senator to begin with, so if you wanna renegotiate prices, I got your not-so-evil-twin-clone tied up in some broom closet in a factory in Jersey for ya. We can discuss payment on the way. Do you bodyslide too? Because that makes me nauseous and I don't think you want me throwing up in my mask." Wade babbled.

Wade raised a brow as he listened to Stryfe list off all the things he could do in comparison to his Techno-Organic virus-having clone...brother. Reader, it's always so confusing how many weird clones the Summers family tree has. I hate it. Sinister should have just stuck with one try and called it good, but no! He had to make Madelyne Pryor to make Cable, then Stryfe because every good clone needs an evil twin, then Nate Grey who ended up being the mutant version of Jesus. It's too much! And didn't Nate Grey kidnap a fuckton of mutants and take them to an alternate reality he created as some perfect utopia and banned love? What the fuck was up with that? I heard he learned the error of his ways and he brought the mutants back, but decided to stay in his perfect little loveless world like some fucked up psychopath. Wild. Something's wrong with that kid. "Yeah I didn't listen to any of that. I was too busy thinking about your Jesus counterpart and how he banned love in his alternate universe and now I'm wondering if you have the capacity to love." Wade stated flatly, only for his ears to perk up when Stryfe asked where in New Jersey his clone was. "Oh! Yeah, one moment. Let me get the coordinates out of my phone for you. Or do you need map directions that Siri reads off to you like 'turn left in 500 feet'?" Wade asked as he fished the phone he had stolen from the dead senator out of one of his pouches and pulled up his GPS of the abandoned factory Cable would be at. "Here you go!" Wade shoved the phone into Stryfe's large hands and stood triumphantly, like he'd won something, or did a good job. To Cable, he was doing a bang-up job and following instructions, but to Stryfe? Worst merc in the world. Didn't even kill Cable like he said he would. But hell, when you want to kill your self-righteous clone twin, sometimes you just have to do it yourself!

Wade stared off into the distance, because, dear reader, evil villain monologues make the ADHD act up. Can't focus on a thing when someone besides me is yapping about something un-funny! Do you think he ever gets exhausted from monologuing? "Should just call you the monologuing clone! Never heard a Summers talk so much about nothing! But alright, you got yourself a deal. I won't interfere -- wait what kind of favor? Actually no, nevermind. Let's go, big guy!" Wade gave Stryfe a hearty salute, trying his hardest not to roll his eyes or tell him he was wasting time by monologuing instead of killing Cable. He was sure that if he spoke anymore about Cable, he wouldn't hear the end of it, and then Cable would beat his ass after this whole ordeal was over. "Does that silly hat of yours make it easier for you to hear voices in your head, kind of like how cerebro helps professor Xavier listen to peoples thoughts better? Or does it block out other peoples thoughts, or your thoughts from being detected? Or do you just enjoy looking fancy?" Wade rambled.

Wade weighed the pros and cons of killing Cable. Sure, his son had originally hired him to kill the guy for some fucked up reason, and frankly, reader, it's been so long that I forgot why Tyler hired me to kill his father in the first place! Doesn't matter, didn't happen, and sure, it was a mark of failure on my long list of merc jobs I've done, but I feel that letting Cable live had done me more good than harm! Cable and I went on so many adventures together, like that time I was working for the US government and he was working against it and we almost got in a fight about it but then I had to pee. Don't remember what happened during that but I'm sure Cable had it handled, because we both lived to see another day! Then there was that one time I was melting and his TO Virus was taking over and we saved each other using some very...questionable means. Didn't want to be inside a man in that way but there's a first for everything, reader! "What do you even do to have that kind of money to just throw around? Do you steal catalytic converters and make meth in the back of Walmart parking lots? Villainy surely doesn't give you that kind of money, because I'm broke as fuck and my morals are questionable. Anyways, sure. 20 mil. C'mon, let's go, big daddy zaddy! I'm not getting any younger, and neither are you. Think I just saw another silver hair pop out of your head." Wade rambled, pulling one of his guns out of its holster, checking to see if it was loaded. He had to make the act seem believable. Because as much as he'd like to take that money, and trust me, reader, I'm going to find a way to get it, killing Cable isn't beneficial to me, no matter the monetary value strapped to his head.

oh hey that's me! Hey there zaddy <3 ;)

Wade had been sitting in this abandoned warehouse for two hours, waiting patiently for Senator Jacobs to show his sneaky little face, and by waiting patiently, he was drawing stick figure doodles all over the cement walls with a piece of chalk that was barely holding it together -- almost like my sanity. Why was he waiting for a senator, you say? "Good question!" Wade exclaimed into the open air, his head turned directly to the reader, as if someone were actually there. "You see, I was paid by his wife, Cassandra, to kill this fucker because he's a disgusting pig who would rather sleep with his 20-something intern and lie to his wife's face about it than to be an actual man. What is he doing in this shitty abandoned warehouse? No idea. Don't care. I just got the deets that Senator Jacobs would be here at fifteen-hundred hours for some reason. Surely not to meet his intern, right? What a weird place to get it on..." Wade turned his attention back to doodling a stick figure of himself putting a bow on a grizzly bear and admired his handiwork when he heard the door creak open and two voices echo across the large warehouse. The game was on. Wade stood up, pulling his handgun out of his holster and heading silently to where the voices were coming from. Showtime, baby! @official-askanison

"Maybe future me knows that, but I've never seen that thing before in my life! We're in the year of our lord, Dolly Parton, year 2025 and I have not time travelled ever! But nice to know! I'd still impale your evil twin brother with a radiator as a hat with it if I had the chance." Wade shrugged and readjusted his suit. "Do you think he thinks he can fly with those wings on his helmet or is it to channel the aliens he's trying to communicate with? A piece of tinfoil could do that. So lame!" Wade was having fun talking shit about Cable's evil twin clone brother...whatever the fuck he was. "And damn, theater kid? Bet he would have been great in "Hairspray"! Alright...fifth and main, right? Think that's a few blocks from here. You really wanna duke it out with your evil self in the middle of a park or you got a secondary location?" Wade asked, making sure his guns were loaded and his knives were ready to go.

"We've never kissed either! Always wanted to because hot damn do those lips look kissable! Ten out of ten, would kiss again. I've worked with other yous before though! Like this other guy who said his name was Cable but he looked like Josh Brolin. That guy was a hunk! But he was so much shorter. Is he really even a Cable if he didn't use his powers and was just a glorified version of Bucky Barnes and wasn't able to reach the top shelf of a kitchen cabinet?" Wade asked, securing his mask back over his face before he checked his map to make sure he knew which building to go to. "Alright, so there's an abandoned factory in Jersey that looks like it's scheduled for demo in a few months. That should do. I'd patch you the coordinates but I don't have your contact deets to pass you the information." Wade said, flipping through the map on his phone for a moment just to make sure that the area would be clear for some epic battle. Once Cable gave him his contact details, he passed over the coordinates before looking up at the taller man. "Alright, off to go lie like my pants are on fire! See ya later, hotcakes!" Wade gave Cable a salute and leaned up to give the taller man a quick kiss on the cheek through his mask before he jogged off in the direction of fifth and main. "Alright, Wade, just tell Stryfe you couldn't succeed in killing him but captured him instead. Good plan. Tell him he's lying unconscious and tied up in some abandoned warehouse in Jersey and you can take him and his silly hat to him to finish the job." Wade whispered under his breath as he approached the boarded up bar and knocked on a slab of plywood.

"Holy fuck if you turned that frown upside down you could take Hallie Parker's place in the Parent Trap and Cable can be Annie James. I would pay to see that! Did you give yourself those scars just to look like your more handsome self or were you born with it? Or maybe it's maybeline..." Wade's thoughts drifted off for a second, and he tried to peek around Stryfe's shoulders to see if he could find that dumb hat. He was going to steal it just so he could make fun of him for it. "Anyways, sorry to disappoint muchacho. I don't got fancy powers like you or Cable so he's a lot harder for me to take down. Plus! I figured you'd wanna finish the job, seeing as you're gunning for his head and all. And I'm not exactly sure what you were offering the Senator to begin with, so if you wanna renegotiate prices, I got your not-so-evil-twin-clone tied up in some broom closet in a factory in Jersey for ya. We can discuss payment on the way. Do you bodyslide too? Because that makes me nauseous and I don't think you want me throwing up in my mask." Wade babbled.

Wade raised a brow as he listened to Stryfe list off all the things he could do in comparison to his Techno-Organic virus-having clone...brother. Reader, it's always so confusing how many weird clones the Summers family tree has. I hate it. Sinister should have just stuck with one try and called it good, but no! He had to make Madelyne Pryor to make Cable, then Stryfe because every good clone needs an evil twin, then Nate Grey who ended up being the mutant version of Jesus. It's too much! And didn't Nate Grey kidnap a fuckton of mutants and take them to an alternate reality he created as some perfect utopia and banned love? What the fuck was up with that? I heard he learned the error of his ways and he brought the mutants back, but decided to stay in his perfect little loveless world like some fucked up psychopath. Wild. Something's wrong with that kid. "Yeah I didn't listen to any of that. I was too busy thinking about your Jesus counterpart and how he banned love in his alternate universe and now I'm wondering if you have the capacity to love." Wade stated flatly, only for his ears to perk up when Stryfe asked where in New Jersey his clone was. "Oh! Yeah, one moment. Let me get the coordinates out of my phone for you. Or do you need map directions that Siri reads off to you like 'turn left in 500 feet'?" Wade asked as he fished the phone he had stolen from the dead senator out of one of his pouches and pulled up his GPS of the abandoned factory Cable would be at. "Here you go!" Wade shoved the phone into Stryfe's large hands and stood triumphantly, like he'd won something, or did a good job. To Cable, he was doing a bang-up job and following instructions, but to Stryfe? Worst merc in the world. Didn't even kill Cable like he said he would. But hell, when you want to kill your self-righteous clone twin, sometimes you just have to do it yourself!

Wade stared off into the distance, because, dear reader, evil villain monologues make the ADHD act up. Can't focus on a thing when someone besides me is yapping about something un-funny! Do you think he ever gets exhausted from monologuing? "Should just call you the monologuing clone! Never heard a Summers talk so much about nothing! But alright, you got yourself a deal. I won't interfere -- wait what kind of favor? Actually no, nevermind. Let's go, big guy!" Wade gave Stryfe a hearty salute, trying his hardest not to roll his eyes or tell him he was wasting time by monologuing instead of killing Cable. He was sure that if he spoke anymore about Cable, he wouldn't hear the end of it, and then Cable would beat his ass after this whole ordeal was over. "Does that silly hat of yours make it easier for you to hear voices in your head, kind of like how cerebro helps professor Xavier listen to peoples thoughts better? Or does it block out other peoples thoughts, or your thoughts from being detected? Or do you just enjoy looking fancy?" Wade rambled.

Wade had been sitting in this abandoned warehouse for two hours, waiting patiently for Senator Jacobs to show his sneaky little face, and by waiting patiently, he was drawing stick figure doodles all over the cement walls with a piece of chalk that was barely holding it together -- almost like my sanity. Why was he waiting for a senator, you say? "Good question!" Wade exclaimed into the open air, his head turned directly to the reader, as if someone were actually there. "You see, I was paid by his wife, Cassandra, to kill this fucker because he's a disgusting pig who would rather sleep with his 20-something intern and lie to his wife's face about it than to be an actual man. What is he doing in this shitty abandoned warehouse? No idea. Don't care. I just got the deets that Senator Jacobs would be here at fifteen-hundred hours for some reason. Surely not to meet his intern, right? What a weird place to get it on..." Wade turned his attention back to doodling a stick figure of himself putting a bow on a grizzly bear and admired his handiwork when he heard the door creak open and two voices echo across the large warehouse. The game was on. Wade stood up, pulling his handgun out of his holster and heading silently to where the voices were coming from. Showtime, baby! @official-askanison

"Maybe future me knows that, but I've never seen that thing before in my life! We're in the year of our lord, Dolly Parton, year 2025 and I have not time travelled ever! But nice to know! I'd still impale your evil twin brother with a radiator as a hat with it if I had the chance." Wade shrugged and readjusted his suit. "Do you think he thinks he can fly with those wings on his helmet or is it to channel the aliens he's trying to communicate with? A piece of tinfoil could do that. So lame!" Wade was having fun talking shit about Cable's evil twin clone brother...whatever the fuck he was. "And damn, theater kid? Bet he would have been great in "Hairspray"! Alright...fifth and main, right? Think that's a few blocks from here. You really wanna duke it out with your evil self in the middle of a park or you got a secondary location?" Wade asked, making sure his guns were loaded and his knives were ready to go.

"We've never kissed either! Always wanted to because hot damn do those lips look kissable! Ten out of ten, would kiss again. I've worked with other yous before though! Like this other guy who said his name was Cable but he looked like Josh Brolin. That guy was a hunk! But he was so much shorter. Is he really even a Cable if he didn't use his powers and was just a glorified version of Bucky Barnes and wasn't able to reach the top shelf of a kitchen cabinet?" Wade asked, securing his mask back over his face before he checked his map to make sure he knew which building to go to. "Alright, so there's an abandoned factory in Jersey that looks like it's scheduled for demo in a few months. That should do. I'd patch you the coordinates but I don't have your contact deets to pass you the information." Wade said, flipping through the map on his phone for a moment just to make sure that the area would be clear for some epic battle. Once Cable gave him his contact details, he passed over the coordinates before looking up at the taller man. "Alright, off to go lie like my pants are on fire! See ya later, hotcakes!" Wade gave Cable a salute and leaned up to give the taller man a quick kiss on the cheek through his mask before he jogged off in the direction of fifth and main. "Alright, Wade, just tell Stryfe you couldn't succeed in killing him but captured him instead. Good plan. Tell him he's lying unconscious and tied up in some abandoned warehouse in Jersey and you can take him and his silly hat to him to finish the job." Wade whispered under his breath as he approached the boarded up bar and knocked on a slab of plywood.

"Holy fuck if you turned that frown upside down you could take Hallie Parker's place in the Parent Trap and Cable can be Annie James. I would pay to see that! Did you give yourself those scars just to look like your more handsome self or were you born with it? Or maybe it's maybeline..." Wade's thoughts drifted off for a second, and he tried to peek around Stryfe's shoulders to see if he could find that dumb hat. He was going to steal it just so he could make fun of him for it. "Anyways, sorry to disappoint muchacho. I don't got fancy powers like you or Cable so he's a lot harder for me to take down. Plus! I figured you'd wanna finish the job, seeing as you're gunning for his head and all. And I'm not exactly sure what you were offering the Senator to begin with, so if you wanna renegotiate prices, I got your not-so-evil-twin-clone tied up in some broom closet in a factory in Jersey for ya. We can discuss payment on the way. Do you bodyslide too? Because that makes me nauseous and I don't think you want me throwing up in my mask." Wade babbled.

Wade raised a brow as he listened to Stryfe list off all the things he could do in comparison to his Techno-Organic virus-having clone...brother. Reader, it's always so confusing how many weird clones the Summers family tree has. I hate it. Sinister should have just stuck with one try and called it good, but no! He had to make Madelyne Pryor to make Cable, then Stryfe because every good clone needs an evil twin, then Nate Grey who ended up being the mutant version of Jesus. It's too much! And didn't Nate Grey kidnap a fuckton of mutants and take them to an alternate reality he created as some perfect utopia and banned love? What the fuck was up with that? I heard he learned the error of his ways and he brought the mutants back, but decided to stay in his perfect little loveless world like some fucked up psychopath. Wild. Something's wrong with that kid. "Yeah I didn't listen to any of that. I was too busy thinking about your Jesus counterpart and how he banned love in his alternate universe and now I'm wondering if you have the capacity to love." Wade stated flatly, only for his ears to perk up when Stryfe asked where in New Jersey his clone was. "Oh! Yeah, one moment. Let me get the coordinates out of my phone for you. Or do you need map directions that Siri reads off to you like 'turn left in 500 feet'?" Wade asked as he fished the phone he had stolen from the dead senator out of one of his pouches and pulled up his GPS of the abandoned factory Cable would be at. "Here you go!" Wade shoved the phone into Stryfe's large hands and stood triumphantly, like he'd won something, or did a good job. To Cable, he was doing a bang-up job and following instructions, but to Stryfe? Worst merc in the world. Didn't even kill Cable like he said he would. But hell, when you want to kill your self-righteous clone twin, sometimes you just have to do it yourself!

@official-askanison :O

Wade had been sitting in this abandoned warehouse for two hours, waiting patiently for Senator Jacobs to show his sneaky little face, and by waiting patiently, he was drawing stick figure doodles all over the cement walls with a piece of chalk that was barely holding it together -- almost like my sanity. Why was he waiting for a senator, you say? "Good question!" Wade exclaimed into the open air, his head turned directly to the reader, as if someone were actually there. "You see, I was paid by his wife, Cassandra, to kill this fucker because he's a disgusting pig who would rather sleep with his 20-something intern and lie to his wife's face about it than to be an actual man. What is he doing in this shitty abandoned warehouse? No idea. Don't care. I just got the deets that Senator Jacobs would be here at fifteen-hundred hours for some reason. Surely not to meet his intern, right? What a weird place to get it on..." Wade turned his attention back to doodling a stick figure of himself putting a bow on a grizzly bear and admired his handiwork when he heard the door creak open and two voices echo across the large warehouse. The game was on. Wade stood up, pulling his handgun out of his holster and heading silently to where the voices were coming from. Showtime, baby! @official-askanison

"Maybe future me knows that, but I've never seen that thing before in my life! We're in the year of our lord, Dolly Parton, year 2025 and I have not time travelled ever! But nice to know! I'd still impale your evil twin brother with a radiator as a hat with it if I had the chance." Wade shrugged and readjusted his suit. "Do you think he thinks he can fly with those wings on his helmet or is it to channel the aliens he's trying to communicate with? A piece of tinfoil could do that. So lame!" Wade was having fun talking shit about Cable's evil twin clone brother...whatever the fuck he was. "And damn, theater kid? Bet he would have been great in "Hairspray"! Alright...fifth and main, right? Think that's a few blocks from here. You really wanna duke it out with your evil self in the middle of a park or you got a secondary location?" Wade asked, making sure his guns were loaded and his knives were ready to go.

"We've never kissed either! Always wanted to because hot damn do those lips look kissable! Ten out of ten, would kiss again. I've worked with other yous before though! Like this other guy who said his name was Cable but he looked like Josh Brolin. That guy was a hunk! But he was so much shorter. Is he really even a Cable if he didn't use his powers and was just a glorified version of Bucky Barnes and wasn't able to reach the top shelf of a kitchen cabinet?" Wade asked, securing his mask back over his face before he checked his map to make sure he knew which building to go to. "Alright, so there's an abandoned factory in Jersey that looks like it's scheduled for demo in a few months. That should do. I'd patch you the coordinates but I don't have your contact deets to pass you the information." Wade said, flipping through the map on his phone for a moment just to make sure that the area would be clear for some epic battle. Once Cable gave him his contact details, he passed over the coordinates before looking up at the taller man. "Alright, off to go lie like my pants are on fire! See ya later, hotcakes!" Wade gave Cable a salute and leaned up to give the taller man a quick kiss on the cheek through his mask before he jogged off in the direction of fifth and main. "Alright, Wade, just tell Stryfe you couldn't succeed in killing him but captured him instead. Good plan. Tell him he's lying unconscious and tied up in some abandoned warehouse in Jersey and you can take him and his silly hat to him to finish the job." Wade whispered under his breath as he approached the boarded up bar and knocked on a slab of plywood.

"Holy fuck if you turned that frown upside down you could take Hallie Parker's place in the Parent Trap and Cable can be Annie James. I would pay to see that! Did you give yourself those scars just to look like your more handsome self or were you born with it? Or maybe it's maybeline..." Wade's thoughts drifted off for a second, and he tried to peek around Stryfe's shoulders to see if he could find that dumb hat. He was going to steal it just so he could make fun of him for it. "Anyways, sorry to disappoint muchacho. I don't got fancy powers like you or Cable so he's a lot harder for me to take down. Plus! I figured you'd wanna finish the job, seeing as you're gunning for his head and all. And I'm not exactly sure what you were offering the Senator to begin with, so if you wanna renegotiate prices, I got your not-so-evil-twin-clone tied up in some broom closet in a factory in Jersey for ya. We can discuss payment on the way. Do you bodyslide too? Because that makes me nauseous and I don't think you want me throwing up in my mask." Wade babbled.

Wade had been sitting in this abandoned warehouse for two hours, waiting patiently for Senator Jacobs to show his sneaky little face, and by waiting patiently, he was drawing stick figure doodles all over the cement walls with a piece of chalk that was barely holding it together -- almost like my sanity. Why was he waiting for a senator, you say? "Good question!" Wade exclaimed into the open air, his head turned directly to the reader, as if someone were actually there. "You see, I was paid by his wife, Cassandra, to kill this fucker because he's a disgusting pig who would rather sleep with his 20-something intern and lie to his wife's face about it than to be an actual man. What is he doing in this shitty abandoned warehouse? No idea. Don't care. I just got the deets that Senator Jacobs would be here at fifteen-hundred hours for some reason. Surely not to meet his intern, right? What a weird place to get it on..." Wade turned his attention back to doodling a stick figure of himself putting a bow on a grizzly bear and admired his handiwork when he heard the door creak open and two voices echo across the large warehouse. The game was on. Wade stood up, pulling his handgun out of his holster and heading silently to where the voices were coming from. Showtime, baby! @official-askanison

"Maybe future me knows that, but I've never seen that thing before in my life! We're in the year of our lord, Dolly Parton, year 2025 and I have not time travelled ever! But nice to know! I'd still impale your evil twin brother with a radiator as a hat with it if I had the chance." Wade shrugged and readjusted his suit. "Do you think he thinks he can fly with those wings on his helmet or is it to channel the aliens he's trying to communicate with? A piece of tinfoil could do that. So lame!" Wade was having fun talking shit about Cable's evil twin clone brother...whatever the fuck he was. "And damn, theater kid? Bet he would have been great in "Hairspray"! Alright...fifth and main, right? Think that's a few blocks from here. You really wanna duke it out with your evil self in the middle of a park or you got a secondary location?" Wade asked, making sure his guns were loaded and his knives were ready to go.

"We've never kissed either! Always wanted to because hot damn do those lips look kissable! Ten out of ten, would kiss again. I've worked with other yous before though! Like this other guy who said his name was Cable but he looked like Josh Brolin. That guy was a hunk! But he was so much shorter. Is he really even a Cable if he didn't use his powers and was just a glorified version of Bucky Barnes and wasn't able to reach the top shelf of a kitchen cabinet?" Wade asked, securing his mask back over his face before he checked his map to make sure he knew which building to go to. "Alright, so there's an abandoned factory in Jersey that looks like it's scheduled for demo in a few months. That should do. I'd patch you the coordinates but I don't have your contact deets to pass you the information." Wade said, flipping through the map on his phone for a moment just to make sure that the area would be clear for some epic battle. Once Cable gave him his contact details, he passed over the coordinates before looking up at the taller man. "Alright, off to go lie like my pants are on fire! See ya later, hotcakes!" Wade gave Cable a salute and leaned up to give the taller man a quick kiss on the cheek through his mask before he jogged off in the direction of fifth and main. "Alright, Wade, just tell Stryfe you couldn't succeed in killing him but captured him instead. Good plan. Tell him he's lying unconscious and tied up in some abandoned warehouse in Jersey and you can take him and his silly hat to him to finish the job." Wade whispered under his breath as he approached the boarded up bar and knocked on a slab of plywood.

Wade had been sitting in this abandoned warehouse for two hours, waiting patiently for Senator Jacobs to show his sneaky little face, and by waiting patiently, he was drawing stick figure doodles all over the cement walls with a piece of chalk that was barely holding it together -- almost like my sanity. Why was he waiting for a senator, you say? "Good question!" Wade exclaimed into the open air, his head turned directly to the reader, as if someone were actually there. "You see, I was paid by his wife, Cassandra, to kill this fucker because he's a disgusting pig who would rather sleep with his 20-something intern and lie to his wife's face about it than to be an actual man. What is he doing in this shitty abandoned warehouse? No idea. Don't care. I just got the deets that Senator Jacobs would be here at fifteen-hundred hours for some reason. Surely not to meet his intern, right? What a weird place to get it on..." Wade turned his attention back to doodling a stick figure of himself putting a bow on a grizzly bear and admired his handiwork when he heard the door creak open and two voices echo across the large warehouse. The game was on. Wade stood up, pulling his handgun out of his holster and heading silently to where the voices were coming from. Showtime, baby! @official-askanison

"Maybe future me knows that, but I've never seen that thing before in my life! We're in the year of our lord, Dolly Parton, year 2025 and I have not time travelled ever! But nice to know! I'd still impale your evil twin brother with a radiator as a hat with it if I had the chance." Wade shrugged and readjusted his suit. "Do you think he thinks he can fly with those wings on his helmet or is it to channel the aliens he's trying to communicate with? A piece of tinfoil could do that. So lame!" Wade was having fun talking shit about Cable's evil twin clone brother...whatever the fuck he was. "And damn, theater kid? Bet he would have been great in "Hairspray"! Alright...fifth and main, right? Think that's a few blocks from here. You really wanna duke it out with your evil self in the middle of a park or you got a secondary location?" Wade asked, making sure his guns were loaded and his knives were ready to go.

Wade had been sitting in this abandoned warehouse for two hours, waiting patiently for Senator Jacobs to show his sneaky little face, and by waiting patiently, he was drawing stick figure doodles all over the cement walls with a piece of chalk that was barely holding it together -- almost like my sanity. Why was he waiting for a senator, you say? "Good question!" Wade exclaimed into the open air, his head turned directly to the reader, as if someone were actually there. "You see, I was paid by his wife, Cassandra, to kill this fucker because he's a disgusting pig who would rather sleep with his 20-something intern and lie to his wife's face about it than to be an actual man. What is he doing in this shitty abandoned warehouse? No idea. Don't care. I just got the deets that Senator Jacobs would be here at fifteen-hundred hours for some reason. Surely not to meet his intern, right? What a weird place to get it on..." Wade turned his attention back to doodling a stick figure of himself putting a bow on a grizzly bear and admired his handiwork when he heard the door creak open and two voices echo across the large warehouse. The game was on. Wade stood up, pulling his handgun out of his holster and heading silently to where the voices were coming from. Showtime, baby! @official-askanison

Wade had been sitting in this abandoned warehouse for two hours, waiting patiently for Senator Jacobs to show his sneaky little face, and by waiting patiently, he was drawing stick figure doodles all over the cement walls with a piece of chalk that was barely holding it together -- almost like my sanity. Why was he waiting for a senator, you say? "Good question!" Wade exclaimed into the open air, his head turned directly to the reader, as if someone were actually there. "You see, I was paid by his wife, Cassandra, to kill this fucker because he's a disgusting pig who would rather sleep with his 20-something intern and lie to his wife's face about it than to be an actual man. What is he doing in this shitty abandoned warehouse? No idea. Don't care. I just got the deets that Senator Jacobs would be here at fifteen-hundred hours for some reason. Surely not to meet his intern, right? What a weird place to get it on..." Wade turned his attention back to doodling a stick figure of himself putting a bow on a grizzly bear and admired his handiwork when he heard the door creak open and two voices echo across the large warehouse. The game was on. Wade stood up, pulling his handgun out of his holster and heading silently to where the voices were coming from. Showtime, baby! @official-askanison

Wade crept around a few pillars, hanging in the shadows. Sure, his target was here, but who was he talking to? The merc narrowed his eyes as he peeked around one of the pillars, keeping his gun close as he watched the two men chat. 'How much are you willing to pay me for my time?' Well if that didn't sound like something a sex worker would say, reader, then call me an idiot. The other person definitely wasn't some 20-something year old intern, but that 6'8" bulky stature and shock of silver hair definitely gave him a few hints as to who this schmuck was talking to. Cable. Ugh. Could it be anyone but that guy? He always makes me feel guilty for playing for both sides, reader. Dude is too good for his own damn pouch-covered britches! But the way he leaves me frustrated is sexy! Dammit. Wade inhaled slowly through his nose, trying his best not to make a noise, but considering his luck, he'd fuck this job up royally and he wasn't going to get paid, but if he played his cards right, maybe he could get Cable to flip sides and join in on the fun. No. The dude did get his hands dirty from time to time, but not like he did. He had to get Cable away from the senator. Wade holstered his gun and racked his brain for the best option to get the job done now that he had the worlds best security guard on his side. Aha! Distraction. Wade stepped out from behind the pillar and started walking towards the two men. He raised one hand in the air in a friendly-wave of 'hello' as he approached the two. "Cable! Holy fucking shit it's been years! How've you been? Didn't expect to see you in this neck of the woods. Who's your friend? How much did he cost ya?" Wade teased, his voice carrying a joking tone.

Wade frowned, his expression evident even through his mask at Cable's annoyance. He could hear the frustration in the older man's voice, deep and resentful. And really, reader, I should be used to that tone with everyone by now, but from Cable? Ouch. That stung. "You know what's not long enough for my liking, Cable?" Wade's mask-covered eyes travelled briefly down to the taller man's hips, then back up. "The third installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy! Peter Jackson could have definitely added a few more things to the end of that movie! It would have wrapped up so beautifully if he just added something about Elrond or Galadriel. What a babe." Wade turned his attention to the senator for a moment, flicking at the poorly-fitted tie around his neck as he tilted his head curiously at the pattern. Hideous. Wade turned his attention back to the silver fox in the room with a devious smirk. "Breaking my arms off sounds oddly sexual coming from you, my friend. Do you really think that would stop me?" Wade dropped the tie and stepped back, putting distance between himself and the two other men, meandering around the room but never keeping his eyes off of the two for long. "Why you with this sleezeball anyways? You don't look like the twenty-something year old intern he's been having an affair with. You don't even look like his type!" Wade threw his hands up in the air, only to stop and reach for his gun as he heard a door swing open. "Fuck..." The senator hissed under his breath.

"Correctamundo, stretch armstrong, and looks like my job has just gotten harder." Wade said through gritted teeth. It was harder to begin with, because the merc wasn't expecting Cable to show up. That put him in a bit of a pickle, and he hated pickles. The bitterness of them aggravated his tastebuds. Wade put some distance between the Senator and Cable, deciding to hang back as the affair partner walked up to the two men. She was young, blonde and beautiful with sleek hair, a nice red dress and a small purse. "Hey there, handsome! I see you got us that security detail for our trip! The guy in red also part of the detail?" The young woman asked. Damn, she noticed me! Well duh, of course she did! Your suit sticks out like a sore thumb! "I uh --" The senator started, only to be cut off by the merc quickly. "Hey there, toots! Yeah, I'm tall dark and handsome's...new partner? Package deal. If you hire him, you hire me, sweetheart. Anyways, where we goin', and how much 're you paying us?" Wade babbled, stepping back into the light. "Well this has thrown a bit of a wrench in our plans. Would you two boys mind if we step aside for some privacy while I chat with this handsome fella?" The young woman asked, already looping her arm into Senator Jacob's arm and taking a few steps away, the older man following suit until they were both well out of earshot of the merc and Cable. "So, whatcha been up to, Caaaaable?" Wade asked as he turned to Nathan.

Wade instantly turned to Cable, who was busy trying to fend off a woman with exceptional fighting form, her acrobatics almost on par with the blocks Cable was dishing out. And then Wade realized it. Cable didn't have his guns! Where the hell were they? Wade leapt into action, tossing his gun at the senator (like it wasn't loaded with bullets) as the butt of the firearm hit the senator square in the head, knocking him out. "Can't even get your hands dirty for me! What a putz!" Wade scowled as he rushed towards the young woman, sweeping his leg underneath her as she ran towards Cable with a knife drawn. "You little weasel!" she exclaimed as she fell to the floor with a loud thud, trying to scramble back onto her feet as Wade tried to pin her down. "Ooh! Another nickname to add to my book! Why're you attacking us? You just like going after grumpy old men with gray hair? They make you go rabid or something?" Wade asked through gritted teeth. "Because they make me feral. I don't blame you for going after this hunky silver fox behind me! Which reminds me, Mr. Silver Fox, need some help here!" Wade grunted as the woman threw a punch at his face as he pinned her down, kicking her knee right into his gut. That didn't throw him off her, instead, it earned her another joke. "Ow! Unlucky for you, sis, I love it when I get a knee to the groin! Now! Why are you attacking us?!" Wade hissed, only to hear a faint ringing coming from a phone tucked away in the young woman's purse. A look of panic crossed her face, like she'd been found out. "Is that another affair partner, or is that someone we're not going to like on the other line?" Wade hissed, only to watch as the woman swiped her tongue over her teeth before he heard a faint click and within seconds, she was foaming at the mouth and convulsing under him. "That's not how a vibrator is supposed to work...what the hell?" Wade hissed. He already knew what the woman had done and didn't care about being upset about it. She was dead within minutes, only for his attention to turn to the senator as he had woken up from his 'nap'. "What have you done?! You both are DEAD!" The senator shouted, grabbing the gun Wade had tossed at him and pulling back the pin. He aimed it at Cable and just as he did, Wade unholstered his other firearm and pulled the trigger, firing it at the Senator.

Why had the Senator and the young woman attacked them? Why wasn't Cable asking them those questions before they both bit the dust? Wade stepped back, raising his arms up in the air as if saying he didn't mean Cable any harm, despite a large rifle flying into his hands and was aimed right at him. And then a phone rang in the senator's pocket. It cut through the tension. And sure, Wade felt a bit of triumph in completing his own job, but a part of him said that this wasn't over. Cable's attention was even pulled away from the problem at hand-- his job blowing up in his face spectacularly -- by that same phone. "Could the guy pick a better ringtone than Kid Rock?" Wade stood up, dusting himself off as the older man fished the phone out of the senator's pocket, only to freeze when Cable passed the phone over to him, telling him since he killed the senator, he'd be the one to handle whoever was on the other line. "Why me? You know how my brain works, Cabes. It says whatever it wants whenever it wants. I don't got the best bedside manor for this kinda stuff!" Too late. Wade accepted the call and put it on speaker, put his gloved hand over Cable's mouth to keep him quiet. "Senator Jacobs. Is the job complete?" The voice was deep, and it sounded altered, like they were trying to disguise their voice. That was weird. "Senator Jacobs is a bit busy right now, but I can leave a message! To whom am I speaking with?" Wade spoke, his rough voice cutting into the air. "Is Nathan Summers with you?" The voice asked, avoiding the question. "I don't know a Nathan Summers. Even if I did, what do you want with him..or them? Maybe Nathan goes by them. We shouldn't discriminate or judge what he...or they may identify as." Wade babbled, his mind trailing off into some other thought before finally remembering what he was going to ask. "What do you want with some person named Nathan Summers anyways? He owe you lunch money or some shit? He did your girl dirty? If ya want, I'll take him out for whatever price you name. I'm a merc for hire after all, and I promise I'll do a better job than the schmucks you hired have done!" Wade had a plan. It was still brewing, but he was trying to get to the bottom of this. No one was going to threaten Cable's life without meeting the end of his Katanas first! "Alright. How'd you get this phone, anyways?" The voice asked. "I'll tell ya after you give me a price and a location to get the money once the job is complete." Wade was trying to be smart about this, but it was hard when Cable was standing right beside him, probably seething. Wade didn't move his hand away from Cable's mouth. "5 million, and on the corner of 5th and main there's a boarded up abandoned bar. Knock 3 times and someone will let you in. Tell them The Chaos-Bringer sent you." The voice spoke, steady and deep. "Ha! What a cheesy name. Ya got yourself a deal, muchacho! Job will be done by the end of day tomorrow. Also, found the phone abandoned on a table at an ice cream shop. No idea what happened to Senator Jacobs." Wade spoke cheerfully with a grin. Hopefully that gave Cable enough information to work with to figure out who was trying to kill him. "I will send you pictures of the target and his last known location. The target is heavily armed and extremely dangerous." The voice said, and duh, of course he is! That's what makes mr. Silver Fox so damn sexy, reader! Wade hung up the phone and tossed it over to Cable as he removed his hand from the other man's lips, but not before trailing his finger along his jawline teasingly. "Seems you got a secret admirer other than me, handsome. Who's got it out for you called the Chaos Bringer? It sounds like he picked some words from some dumb tumblr post to make an alias that match up to his initials or something. So dumb." Wade ranted, dropping his hands to his side as he kicked at the young woman's stiletto.

Wade watched as Cable called his other gun to him, seeing it dragging against the concrete like a sad puppy. He raised a brow, glancing up at his friend...were they friends? Cable never treated him as such, but it wasn't like they were at each others throats on a daily basis. They had their moments! "What's up with the telekinesis, bud? Need some viagra for that? I'm sure the senator has some in his pocket." Wade said, about to bend down to fish for any stray erectile dysfunction pills, like it would help with telekinesis in any way. It would not. "Look, this sleeze-balls wife paid me 3 million to kill off her husband. Do you at least want to go halvsies on that considering I ruined your shot at a paycheck? She might even give me more considering the woman he was cheating with is also dead." Wade shrugged, snapping two pictures of the Senator before he snapped a few more of the woman, just in case. "And looks like we have a mission, my sexy silver fox! Do we finally get to to team up? Ooh that would be so cool! It's been forever since I've seen a Cable in this world!" Wade beamed, shoving the phone in one of his utility pouches before he gathered his guns.

"Uh huh....then why'd ya take it? Wanted to add it to your resume? Don't think coverin as security for a crooked senator would look too great, mr. tall dark and handsome. That's okay, though! Happens to the best of us." Wade reached up and patted Cable's shoulder before he skipped through the warehouse, only to stop halfway to the door and turning around to face Cable. "The way your rifle dragged across the ground tells me otherwise, but I'm not gonna judge you if you can't get it up! Just means I gotta work a little harder, and you know I do like a challenge. Now c'mon! We got work to do!" Wade waved at Cable to follow him out of the warehouse, pulling his phone back out of his pouch to call Weasel to get the clean up crew out. "Find it sexy when you want to use me as bait, bestie. Granted, whoever's at that location is probably going to want proof that you're dead. What're you willing to give me in return? And are we gonna stake out the location beforehand or can we chill and watch movies at your place? It's been a while since I've seen Titanic. We could totally reenact that scene in the car if you want." Wade winked, a sly grin dancing across his lips behind the mask.

Wade gasped dramatically, lifting his hands to his face in mock surprise when Cable said he hated Titanic. "How could you hate Titanic? Alright, what about the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy? Who's your favorite? My favorite is Pippin." Wade babbled, walking alongside Cable, talking animatedly. "I feel like you're more of the 80's cartoon version of the Hobbit fan. We could watch that instead!" Wade stopped in his tracks when Cable said he was going to take on Stryfe alone. "Dude if you're going to use me as bait for Stryfe, there's no way in hell I'm missing out on battling your evil twin clone with a silly hat! Did you give that hat to him at a birthday party and he's resented you for it ever since? I can see that. He looks like a knockoff version of Peacemaker, and even that guy's helmet is dumb!" Wade jogged back up to Cable, matching his wide stride as they walked alongside each other. "Tell you what, we'll have a movie night and I'll let you pick what we watch instead. Then we'll spend all night plotting and scheming against your weird identical evil twin and doing each others nails and giving each other pedicures! It'll be fun!"

Wade pouted when Cable said no to movie night, only to stop in his tracks when the man mentioned how they had met. He rolled his eyes and quickly stomped up to Cable, jabbing a finger into his chest. "If you recall, mister tall-dark-and-holy fuck you're ripped, shit...sorry. Where was I? Oh yes -- I didn't even succeed in killing you! I got jack shit for it! How the hell do you still have hard feelings about that when we've saved each others lives way too many times to count on my fingers and toes? Remember that time I was melting and your virus was taking over? That was...interesting. Didn't think I'd be inside of you in that way." Wade chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but he saw the wince, the way Cable clenched his jaw in pain before he said those magical words. "I accept your --" Bodyslide by two. "--apology. Ugh. Blech." Wade scoffed, wiggling off the weird feeling he always got when Cable took him along on a bodyslide. Once they appeared at some cozy-looking cottage by the sea, in a downpour. Wade instantly wandered around the room, about ready to pick up a few books to pretend to flip through and read. Are you kidding me, reader? I don't read. Reading is for chumps! I don't have time for that! "Don't touch anything?! What are you gonna do if I do touch things? Stab me? You know I'm into that, papi." Wade said with a very expressive wink, blowing Cable a kiss over his mask. "Maybe a game of cards? Is that more your cup of tea? we could play strip poker while we make a plan." Wade sat down on the sofa, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table.

Wade scoffed when Cable said not to bother trying to read his books. "What makes you think I read, Nate? And you know what? I need to start using your first name more often. You have ten million of them, even Priscilla, if I remember correctly. Cable just seems too formal, like we're strangers." Wade's mind wandered for a moment before he glanced over at Cable, turning the remote over in his hand without actually turning the television on. "You're giving me things like I'm a five year old that's amused by anything handed to them. I don't know if I should feel insulted, or grateful that you know me so well. And really? Only Disney +? Wait, does Disney own everything in the future? Please tell me they don't. It already feels like they own half of America and I hate it!" Wade scoffed, tossing the remote aside for a moment before he loosened his mask, pulling it up over his nose just so he could breathe better. He looked away from Cable for a moment, and even though he knew Cable had seen him without his mask countless times, it still made him nervous. He quickly shoved the thought aside as he listened to Cable talk about his plan. "Alright, so kill you, plan a memorial service/show with Lady Gaga in Rumekistan and realize I got the wrong part of the country altogether but they went with it anyways, then meet up with your evil brother with the silly hat, give him proof that you're dead and collect the money! Got it! oh wait then how are you going to --- Ahh...okay I lie to Stryfe about you being dead. That makes more sense. He's probably going to want proof though. What are we going to do about that? And jeez...never seen you this pissed off before, at least not in a while. I get it -- evil twin brother has definitely done some shitty things but damn...Angry looks sexy on you!"

Wade paused, raising an eyebrow as he watched Cable get even more flustered. He tripped over his words and that wasn't like him; he was always so sure of everything in his mind, and now he was fumbling over everything. And then his eyes darted down to how Cable adjusted his bodysuit and he licked his lips. Ah. That explains it. Wade chuckled softly and pushed himself off the doorframe, stepping into the room, taking his time to approach Cable. His steps were slow, but deliberate as he stood in front of the taller man, his eyes never leaving the other. "No, don't think I would believe you, Nate. For one --" Wade started, his hand outstretched in front of him, fingers trailing up Cable's abdomen. "You're not confused. Never seen you confused in all my years of knowing you. You're always so sure of everything." And this was the first time Wade had touched Cable in years. He tried to hide his own mixed feelings about it; because hell, Cable was sexy and he just wanted to jump the guy's bones but he was holding himself back. "Two -- actually...no, my brain is going elsewhere. Why do you have a picture of us on your mantle?" Wade asked.

Wade rolled his eyes and turned away from Cable for a moment before circling back, shaking his head with a small chuckle. "Nuh uh, you're not pulling that spider-man schtick on me. I let Celine Dion do it in my second movie because she's a queen, but I won't let you get away with that trick!" Wade glanced down at the gun Cable shoved into his hand as a way to deflect from his prying questions. "Nathan...you know I have the attention span of a seven year old that drank 3 mountain dews for breakfast and the iPad my mom gave me died an hour ago. And you know damn well I barely listen to anything anyone says, especially when it comes to rules!" Wade set the guns Cable handed him aside, not needing them. He had enough weapons on him already and Cable knew that by now. "We have until tomorrow to get this job done. I ain't letting your evil doppleganger get away with threatening your life and you damn well know it. And maybe I'll get some money from him as well! Bonuuuussss! Wait, does your evil twin have money or is he broke as a joke? Because I've got so many jokes lined up for that." Wade trailed off for a moment before glancing back at Cable. "Look, you can't go out being this flustered. It's not good for your noggin. You're gonna make a mistake, and we're gonna make a mess of it." Wade said, stepping up to Cable slowly, their bodies inches apart. He could feel the heat radiating off of Cable's torso, and he smiled softly as he leaned up, his lips ghosting over the other's strong jawline. "Let me take that tension away from you, Nate."

Wade could tell Cable was well enough distracted by how many guns the older man was handing him blindly, not even thinking or noticing that Wade kept setting them aside. It was to the point he was running out of room on the bookshelf and it was getting a bit concerning. Could the bookshelf hold that much weight? A small, barely-there groan escaped the merc's lips as he felt Cable's hand against his chest, pushing him into the wall. At first, he thought it was to push him out of the way; and Cable really wasn't interested, but he was dead wrong. Because the next thing he knew, he felt the warm press of lips against his own rough, scarred lips. Wade's hands moved up to cradle Nathan's jawline, his gloved fingers caressing his skin as their lips pressed together in a chaste, simple kiss. It was over before the merc really got a full grasp of what happened, because holy moly, reader! Nathan Summers kissed me! Hell yeah! "That's all ya got? I know you can kiss better than that, Nate. Haven't even swept me off my feet yet." Wade challenged, one hand trailing down Cable's broad chest, his eyes following his own fingers downward.

Wade had been sitting in this abandoned warehouse for two hours, waiting patiently for Senator Jacobs to show his sneaky little face, and by waiting patiently, he was drawing stick figure doodles all over the cement walls with a piece of chalk that was barely holding it together -- almost like my sanity. Why was he waiting for a senator, you say? "Good question!" Wade exclaimed into the open air, his head turned directly to the reader, as if someone were actually there. "You see, I was paid by his wife, Cassandra, to kill this fucker because he's a disgusting pig who would rather sleep with his 20-something intern and lie to his wife's face about it than to be an actual man. What is he doing in this shitty abandoned warehouse? No idea. Don't care. I just got the deets that Senator Jacobs would be here at fifteen-hundred hours for some reason. Surely not to meet his intern, right? What a weird place to get it on..." Wade turned his attention back to doodling a stick figure of himself putting a bow on a grizzly bear and admired his handiwork when he heard the door creak open and two voices echo across the large warehouse. The game was on. Wade stood up, pulling his handgun out of his holster and heading silently to where the voices were coming from. Showtime, baby! @official-askanison

Wade crept around a few pillars, hanging in the shadows. Sure, his target was here, but who was he talking to? The merc narrowed his eyes as he peeked around one of the pillars, keeping his gun close as he watched the two men chat. 'How much are you willing to pay me for my time?' Well if that didn't sound like something a sex worker would say, reader, then call me an idiot. The other person definitely wasn't some 20-something year old intern, but that 6'8" bulky stature and shock of silver hair definitely gave him a few hints as to who this schmuck was talking to. Cable. Ugh. Could it be anyone but that guy? He always makes me feel guilty for playing for both sides, reader. Dude is too good for his own damn pouch-covered britches! But the way he leaves me frustrated is sexy! Dammit. Wade inhaled slowly through his nose, trying his best not to make a noise, but considering his luck, he'd fuck this job up royally and he wasn't going to get paid, but if he played his cards right, maybe he could get Cable to flip sides and join in on the fun. No. The dude did get his hands dirty from time to time, but not like he did. He had to get Cable away from the senator. Wade holstered his gun and racked his brain for the best option to get the job done now that he had the worlds best security guard on his side. Aha! Distraction. Wade stepped out from behind the pillar and started walking towards the two men. He raised one hand in the air in a friendly-wave of 'hello' as he approached the two. "Cable! Holy fucking shit it's been years! How've you been? Didn't expect to see you in this neck of the woods. Who's your friend? How much did he cost ya?" Wade teased, his voice carrying a joking tone.

Wade frowned, his expression evident even through his mask at Cable's annoyance. He could hear the frustration in the older man's voice, deep and resentful. And really, reader, I should be used to that tone with everyone by now, but from Cable? Ouch. That stung. "You know what's not long enough for my liking, Cable?" Wade's mask-covered eyes travelled briefly down to the taller man's hips, then back up. "The third installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy! Peter Jackson could have definitely added a few more things to the end of that movie! It would have wrapped up so beautifully if he just added something about Elrond or Galadriel. What a babe." Wade turned his attention to the senator for a moment, flicking at the poorly-fitted tie around his neck as he tilted his head curiously at the pattern. Hideous. Wade turned his attention back to the silver fox in the room with a devious smirk. "Breaking my arms off sounds oddly sexual coming from you, my friend. Do you really think that would stop me?" Wade dropped the tie and stepped back, putting distance between himself and the two other men, meandering around the room but never keeping his eyes off of the two for long. "Why you with this sleezeball anyways? You don't look like the twenty-something year old intern he's been having an affair with. You don't even look like his type!" Wade threw his hands up in the air, only to stop and reach for his gun as he heard a door swing open. "Fuck..." The senator hissed under his breath.

"Correctamundo, stretch armstrong, and looks like my job has just gotten harder." Wade said through gritted teeth. It was harder to begin with, because the merc wasn't expecting Cable to show up. That put him in a bit of a pickle, and he hated pickles. The bitterness of them aggravated his tastebuds. Wade put some distance between the Senator and Cable, deciding to hang back as the affair partner walked up to the two men. She was young, blonde and beautiful with sleek hair, a nice red dress and a small purse. "Hey there, handsome! I see you got us that security detail for our trip! The guy in red also part of the detail?" The young woman asked. Damn, she noticed me! Well duh, of course she did! Your suit sticks out like a sore thumb! "I uh --" The senator started, only to be cut off by the merc quickly. "Hey there, toots! Yeah, I'm tall dark and handsome's...new partner? Package deal. If you hire him, you hire me, sweetheart. Anyways, where we goin', and how much 're you paying us?" Wade babbled, stepping back into the light. "Well this has thrown a bit of a wrench in our plans. Would you two boys mind if we step aside for some privacy while I chat with this handsome fella?" The young woman asked, already looping her arm into Senator Jacob's arm and taking a few steps away, the older man following suit until they were both well out of earshot of the merc and Cable. "So, whatcha been up to, Caaaaable?" Wade asked as he turned to Nathan.

Wade instantly turned to Cable, who was busy trying to fend off a woman with exceptional fighting form, her acrobatics almost on par with the blocks Cable was dishing out. And then Wade realized it. Cable didn't have his guns! Where the hell were they? Wade leapt into action, tossing his gun at the senator (like it wasn't loaded with bullets) as the butt of the firearm hit the senator square in the head, knocking him out. "Can't even get your hands dirty for me! What a putz!" Wade scowled as he rushed towards the young woman, sweeping his leg underneath her as she ran towards Cable with a knife drawn. "You little weasel!" she exclaimed as she fell to the floor with a loud thud, trying to scramble back onto her feet as Wade tried to pin her down. "Ooh! Another nickname to add to my book! Why're you attacking us? You just like going after grumpy old men with gray hair? They make you go rabid or something?" Wade asked through gritted teeth. "Because they make me feral. I don't blame you for going after this hunky silver fox behind me! Which reminds me, Mr. Silver Fox, need some help here!" Wade grunted as the woman threw a punch at his face as he pinned her down, kicking her knee right into his gut. That didn't throw him off her, instead, it earned her another joke. "Ow! Unlucky for you, sis, I love it when I get a knee to the groin! Now! Why are you attacking us?!" Wade hissed, only to hear a faint ringing coming from a phone tucked away in the young woman's purse. A look of panic crossed her face, like she'd been found out. "Is that another affair partner, or is that someone we're not going to like on the other line?" Wade hissed, only to watch as the woman swiped her tongue over her teeth before he heard a faint click and within seconds, she was foaming at the mouth and convulsing under him. "That's not how a vibrator is supposed to work...what the hell?" Wade hissed. He already knew what the woman had done and didn't care about being upset about it. She was dead within minutes, only for his attention to turn to the senator as he had woken up from his 'nap'. "What have you done?! You both are DEAD!" The senator shouted, grabbing the gun Wade had tossed at him and pulling back the pin. He aimed it at Cable and just as he did, Wade unholstered his other firearm and pulled the trigger, firing it at the Senator.

Why had the Senator and the young woman attacked them? Why wasn't Cable asking them those questions before they both bit the dust? Wade stepped back, raising his arms up in the air as if saying he didn't mean Cable any harm, despite a large rifle flying into his hands and was aimed right at him. And then a phone rang in the senator's pocket. It cut through the tension. And sure, Wade felt a bit of triumph in completing his own job, but a part of him said that this wasn't over. Cable's attention was even pulled away from the problem at hand-- his job blowing up in his face spectacularly -- by that same phone. "Could the guy pick a better ringtone than Kid Rock?" Wade stood up, dusting himself off as the older man fished the phone out of the senator's pocket, only to freeze when Cable passed the phone over to him, telling him since he killed the senator, he'd be the one to handle whoever was on the other line. "Why me? You know how my brain works, Cabes. It says whatever it wants whenever it wants. I don't got the best bedside manor for this kinda stuff!" Too late. Wade accepted the call and put it on speaker, put his gloved hand over Cable's mouth to keep him quiet. "Senator Jacobs. Is the job complete?" The voice was deep, and it sounded altered, like they were trying to disguise their voice. That was weird. "Senator Jacobs is a bit busy right now, but I can leave a message! To whom am I speaking with?" Wade spoke, his rough voice cutting into the air. "Is Nathan Summers with you?" The voice asked, avoiding the question. "I don't know a Nathan Summers. Even if I did, what do you want with him..or them? Maybe Nathan goes by them. We shouldn't discriminate or judge what he...or they may identify as." Wade babbled, his mind trailing off into some other thought before finally remembering what he was going to ask. "What do you want with some person named Nathan Summers anyways? He owe you lunch money or some shit? He did your girl dirty? If ya want, I'll take him out for whatever price you name. I'm a merc for hire after all, and I promise I'll do a better job than the schmucks you hired have done!" Wade had a plan. It was still brewing, but he was trying to get to the bottom of this. No one was going to threaten Cable's life without meeting the end of his Katanas first! "Alright. How'd you get this phone, anyways?" The voice asked. "I'll tell ya after you give me a price and a location to get the money once the job is complete." Wade was trying to be smart about this, but it was hard when Cable was standing right beside him, probably seething. Wade didn't move his hand away from Cable's mouth. "5 million, and on the corner of 5th and main there's a boarded up abandoned bar. Knock 3 times and someone will let you in. Tell them The Chaos-Bringer sent you." The voice spoke, steady and deep. "Ha! What a cheesy name. Ya got yourself a deal, muchacho! Job will be done by the end of day tomorrow. Also, found the phone abandoned on a table at an ice cream shop. No idea what happened to Senator Jacobs." Wade spoke cheerfully with a grin. Hopefully that gave Cable enough information to work with to figure out who was trying to kill him. "I will send you pictures of the target and his last known location. The target is heavily armed and extremely dangerous." The voice said, and duh, of course he is! That's what makes mr. Silver Fox so damn sexy, reader! Wade hung up the phone and tossed it over to Cable as he removed his hand from the other man's lips, but not before trailing his finger along his jawline teasingly. "Seems you got a secret admirer other than me, handsome. Who's got it out for you called the Chaos Bringer? It sounds like he picked some words from some dumb tumblr post to make an alias that match up to his initials or something. So dumb." Wade ranted, dropping his hands to his side as he kicked at the young woman's stiletto.

Wade watched as Cable called his other gun to him, seeing it dragging against the concrete like a sad puppy. He raised a brow, glancing up at his friend...were they friends? Cable never treated him as such, but it wasn't like they were at each others throats on a daily basis. They had their moments! "What's up with the telekinesis, bud? Need some viagra for that? I'm sure the senator has some in his pocket." Wade said, about to bend down to fish for any stray erectile dysfunction pills, like it would help with telekinesis in any way. It would not. "Look, this sleeze-balls wife paid me 3 million to kill off her husband. Do you at least want to go halvsies on that considering I ruined your shot at a paycheck? She might even give me more considering the woman he was cheating with is also dead." Wade shrugged, snapping two pictures of the Senator before he snapped a few more of the woman, just in case. "And looks like we have a mission, my sexy silver fox! Do we finally get to to team up? Ooh that would be so cool! It's been forever since I've seen a Cable in this world!" Wade beamed, shoving the phone in one of his utility pouches before he gathered his guns.

"Uh huh....then why'd ya take it? Wanted to add it to your resume? Don't think coverin as security for a crooked senator would look too great, mr. tall dark and handsome. That's okay, though! Happens to the best of us." Wade reached up and patted Cable's shoulder before he skipped through the warehouse, only to stop halfway to the door and turning around to face Cable. "The way your rifle dragged across the ground tells me otherwise, but I'm not gonna judge you if you can't get it up! Just means I gotta work a little harder, and you know I do like a challenge. Now c'mon! We got work to do!" Wade waved at Cable to follow him out of the warehouse, pulling his phone back out of his pouch to call Weasel to get the clean up crew out. "Find it sexy when you want to use me as bait, bestie. Granted, whoever's at that location is probably going to want proof that you're dead. What're you willing to give me in return? And are we gonna stake out the location beforehand or can we chill and watch movies at your place? It's been a while since I've seen Titanic. We could totally reenact that scene in the car if you want." Wade winked, a sly grin dancing across his lips behind the mask.

Wade gasped dramatically, lifting his hands to his face in mock surprise when Cable said he hated Titanic. "How could you hate Titanic? Alright, what about the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy? Who's your favorite? My favorite is Pippin." Wade babbled, walking alongside Cable, talking animatedly. "I feel like you're more of the 80's cartoon version of the Hobbit fan. We could watch that instead!" Wade stopped in his tracks when Cable said he was going to take on Stryfe alone. "Dude if you're going to use me as bait for Stryfe, there's no way in hell I'm missing out on battling your evil twin clone with a silly hat! Did you give that hat to him at a birthday party and he's resented you for it ever since? I can see that. He looks like a knockoff version of Peacemaker, and even that guy's helmet is dumb!" Wade jogged back up to Cable, matching his wide stride as they walked alongside each other. "Tell you what, we'll have a movie night and I'll let you pick what we watch instead. Then we'll spend all night plotting and scheming against your weird identical evil twin and doing each others nails and giving each other pedicures! It'll be fun!"

Wade pouted when Cable said no to movie night, only to stop in his tracks when the man mentioned how they had met. He rolled his eyes and quickly stomped up to Cable, jabbing a finger into his chest. "If you recall, mister tall-dark-and-holy fuck you're ripped, shit...sorry. Where was I? Oh yes -- I didn't even succeed in killing you! I got jack shit for it! How the hell do you still have hard feelings about that when we've saved each others lives way too many times to count on my fingers and toes? Remember that time I was melting and your virus was taking over? That was...interesting. Didn't think I'd be inside of you in that way." Wade chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but he saw the wince, the way Cable clenched his jaw in pain before he said those magical words. "I accept your --" Bodyslide by two. "--apology. Ugh. Blech." Wade scoffed, wiggling off the weird feeling he always got when Cable took him along on a bodyslide. Once they appeared at some cozy-looking cottage by the sea, in a downpour. Wade instantly wandered around the room, about ready to pick up a few books to pretend to flip through and read. Are you kidding me, reader? I don't read. Reading is for chumps! I don't have time for that! "Don't touch anything?! What are you gonna do if I do touch things? Stab me? You know I'm into that, papi." Wade said with a very expressive wink, blowing Cable a kiss over his mask. "Maybe a game of cards? Is that more your cup of tea? we could play strip poker while we make a plan." Wade sat down on the sofa, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table.

Wade scoffed when Cable said not to bother trying to read his books. "What makes you think I read, Nate? And you know what? I need to start using your first name more often. You have ten million of them, even Priscilla, if I remember correctly. Cable just seems too formal, like we're strangers." Wade's mind wandered for a moment before he glanced over at Cable, turning the remote over in his hand without actually turning the television on. "You're giving me things like I'm a five year old that's amused by anything handed to them. I don't know if I should feel insulted, or grateful that you know me so well. And really? Only Disney +? Wait, does Disney own everything in the future? Please tell me they don't. It already feels like they own half of America and I hate it!" Wade scoffed, tossing the remote aside for a moment before he loosened his mask, pulling it up over his nose just so he could breathe better. He looked away from Cable for a moment, and even though he knew Cable had seen him without his mask countless times, it still made him nervous. He quickly shoved the thought aside as he listened to Cable talk about his plan. "Alright, so kill you, plan a memorial service/show with Lady Gaga in Rumekistan and realize I got the wrong part of the country altogether but they went with it anyways, then meet up with your evil brother with the silly hat, give him proof that you're dead and collect the money! Got it! oh wait then how are you going to --- Ahh...okay I lie to Stryfe about you being dead. That makes more sense. He's probably going to want proof though. What are we going to do about that? And jeez...never seen you this pissed off before, at least not in a while. I get it -- evil twin brother has definitely done some shitty things but damn...Angry looks sexy on you!"

Wade paused, raising an eyebrow as he watched Cable get even more flustered. He tripped over his words and that wasn't like him; he was always so sure of everything in his mind, and now he was fumbling over everything. And then his eyes darted down to how Cable adjusted his bodysuit and he licked his lips. Ah. That explains it. Wade chuckled softly and pushed himself off the doorframe, stepping into the room, taking his time to approach Cable. His steps were slow, but deliberate as he stood in front of the taller man, his eyes never leaving the other. "No, don't think I would believe you, Nate. For one --" Wade started, his hand outstretched in front of him, fingers trailing up Cable's abdomen. "You're not confused. Never seen you confused in all my years of knowing you. You're always so sure of everything." And this was the first time Wade had touched Cable in years. He tried to hide his own mixed feelings about it; because hell, Cable was sexy and he just wanted to jump the guy's bones but he was holding himself back. "Two -- actually...no, my brain is going elsewhere. Why do you have a picture of us on your mantle?" Wade asked.

Wade rolled his eyes and turned away from Cable for a moment before circling back, shaking his head with a small chuckle. "Nuh uh, you're not pulling that spider-man schtick on me. I let Celine Dion do it in my second movie because she's a queen, but I won't let you get away with that trick!" Wade glanced down at the gun Cable shoved into his hand as a way to deflect from his prying questions. "Nathan...you know I have the attention span of a seven year old that drank 3 mountain dews for breakfast and the iPad my mom gave me died an hour ago. And you know damn well I barely listen to anything anyone says, especially when it comes to rules!" Wade set the guns Cable handed him aside, not needing them. He had enough weapons on him already and Cable knew that by now. "We have until tomorrow to get this job done. I ain't letting your evil doppleganger get away with threatening your life and you damn well know it. And maybe I'll get some money from him as well! Bonuuuussss! Wait, does your evil twin have money or is he broke as a joke? Because I've got so many jokes lined up for that." Wade trailed off for a moment before glancing back at Cable. "Look, you can't go out being this flustered. It's not good for your noggin. You're gonna make a mistake, and we're gonna make a mess of it." Wade said, stepping up to Cable slowly, their bodies inches apart. He could feel the heat radiating off of Cable's torso, and he smiled softly as he leaned up, his lips ghosting over the other's strong jawline. "Let me take that tension away from you, Nate."

Wade could tell Cable was well enough distracted by how many guns the older man was handing him blindly, not even thinking or noticing that Wade kept setting them aside. It was to the point he was running out of room on the bookshelf and it was getting a bit concerning. Could the bookshelf hold that much weight? A small, barely-there groan escaped the merc's lips as he felt Cable's hand against his chest, pushing him into the wall. At first, he thought it was to push him out of the way; and Cable really wasn't interested, but he was dead wrong. Because the next thing he knew, he felt the warm press of lips against his own rough, scarred lips. Wade's hands moved up to cradle Nathan's jawline, his gloved fingers caressing his skin as their lips pressed together in a chaste, simple kiss. It was over before the merc really got a full grasp of what happened, because holy moly, reader! Nathan Summers kissed me! Hell yeah! "That's all ya got? I know you can kiss better than that, Nate. Haven't even swept me off my feet yet." Wade challenged, one hand trailing down Cable's broad chest, his eyes following his own fingers downward.

Wade had been sitting in this abandoned warehouse for two hours, waiting patiently for Senator Jacobs to show his sneaky little face, and by waiting patiently, he was drawing stick figure doodles all over the cement walls with a piece of chalk that was barely holding it together -- almost like my sanity. Why was he waiting for a senator, you say? "Good question!" Wade exclaimed into the open air, his head turned directly to the reader, as if someone were actually there. "You see, I was paid by his wife, Cassandra, to kill this fucker because he's a disgusting pig who would rather sleep with his 20-something intern and lie to his wife's face about it than to be an actual man. What is he doing in this shitty abandoned warehouse? No idea. Don't care. I just got the deets that Senator Jacobs would be here at fifteen-hundred hours for some reason. Surely not to meet his intern, right? What a weird place to get it on..." Wade turned his attention back to doodling a stick figure of himself putting a bow on a grizzly bear and admired his handiwork when he heard the door creak open and two voices echo across the large warehouse. The game was on. Wade stood up, pulling his handgun out of his holster and heading silently to where the voices were coming from. Showtime, baby! @official-askanison

Wade crept around a few pillars, hanging in the shadows. Sure, his target was here, but who was he talking to? The merc narrowed his eyes as he peeked around one of the pillars, keeping his gun close as he watched the two men chat. 'How much are you willing to pay me for my time?' Well if that didn't sound like something a sex worker would say, reader, then call me an idiot. The other person definitely wasn't some 20-something year old intern, but that 6'8" bulky stature and shock of silver hair definitely gave him a few hints as to who this schmuck was talking to. Cable. Ugh. Could it be anyone but that guy? He always makes me feel guilty for playing for both sides, reader. Dude is too good for his own damn pouch-covered britches! But the way he leaves me frustrated is sexy! Dammit. Wade inhaled slowly through his nose, trying his best not to make a noise, but considering his luck, he'd fuck this job up royally and he wasn't going to get paid, but if he played his cards right, maybe he could get Cable to flip sides and join in on the fun. No. The dude did get his hands dirty from time to time, but not like he did. He had to get Cable away from the senator. Wade holstered his gun and racked his brain for the best option to get the job done now that he had the worlds best security guard on his side. Aha! Distraction. Wade stepped out from behind the pillar and started walking towards the two men. He raised one hand in the air in a friendly-wave of 'hello' as he approached the two. "Cable! Holy fucking shit it's been years! How've you been? Didn't expect to see you in this neck of the woods. Who's your friend? How much did he cost ya?" Wade teased, his voice carrying a joking tone.

Wade frowned, his expression evident even through his mask at Cable's annoyance. He could hear the frustration in the older man's voice, deep and resentful. And really, reader, I should be used to that tone with everyone by now, but from Cable? Ouch. That stung. "You know what's not long enough for my liking, Cable?" Wade's mask-covered eyes travelled briefly down to the taller man's hips, then back up. "The third installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy! Peter Jackson could have definitely added a few more things to the end of that movie! It would have wrapped up so beautifully if he just added something about Elrond or Galadriel. What a babe." Wade turned his attention to the senator for a moment, flicking at the poorly-fitted tie around his neck as he tilted his head curiously at the pattern. Hideous. Wade turned his attention back to the silver fox in the room with a devious smirk. "Breaking my arms off sounds oddly sexual coming from you, my friend. Do you really think that would stop me?" Wade dropped the tie and stepped back, putting distance between himself and the two other men, meandering around the room but never keeping his eyes off of the two for long. "Why you with this sleezeball anyways? You don't look like the twenty-something year old intern he's been having an affair with. You don't even look like his type!" Wade threw his hands up in the air, only to stop and reach for his gun as he heard a door swing open. "Fuck..." The senator hissed under his breath.

"Correctamundo, stretch armstrong, and looks like my job has just gotten harder." Wade said through gritted teeth. It was harder to begin with, because the merc wasn't expecting Cable to show up. That put him in a bit of a pickle, and he hated pickles. The bitterness of them aggravated his tastebuds. Wade put some distance between the Senator and Cable, deciding to hang back as the affair partner walked up to the two men. She was young, blonde and beautiful with sleek hair, a nice red dress and a small purse. "Hey there, handsome! I see you got us that security detail for our trip! The guy in red also part of the detail?" The young woman asked. Damn, she noticed me! Well duh, of course she did! Your suit sticks out like a sore thumb! "I uh --" The senator started, only to be cut off by the merc quickly. "Hey there, toots! Yeah, I'm tall dark and handsome's...new partner? Package deal. If you hire him, you hire me, sweetheart. Anyways, where we goin', and how much 're you paying us?" Wade babbled, stepping back into the light. "Well this has thrown a bit of a wrench in our plans. Would you two boys mind if we step aside for some privacy while I chat with this handsome fella?" The young woman asked, already looping her arm into Senator Jacob's arm and taking a few steps away, the older man following suit until they were both well out of earshot of the merc and Cable. "So, whatcha been up to, Caaaaable?" Wade asked as he turned to Nathan.

Wade instantly turned to Cable, who was busy trying to fend off a woman with exceptional fighting form, her acrobatics almost on par with the blocks Cable was dishing out. And then Wade realized it. Cable didn't have his guns! Where the hell were they? Wade leapt into action, tossing his gun at the senator (like it wasn't loaded with bullets) as the butt of the firearm hit the senator square in the head, knocking him out. "Can't even get your hands dirty for me! What a putz!" Wade scowled as he rushed towards the young woman, sweeping his leg underneath her as she ran towards Cable with a knife drawn. "You little weasel!" she exclaimed as she fell to the floor with a loud thud, trying to scramble back onto her feet as Wade tried to pin her down. "Ooh! Another nickname to add to my book! Why're you attacking us? You just like going after grumpy old men with gray hair? They make you go rabid or something?" Wade asked through gritted teeth. "Because they make me feral. I don't blame you for going after this hunky silver fox behind me! Which reminds me, Mr. Silver Fox, need some help here!" Wade grunted as the woman threw a punch at his face as he pinned her down, kicking her knee right into his gut. That didn't throw him off her, instead, it earned her another joke. "Ow! Unlucky for you, sis, I love it when I get a knee to the groin! Now! Why are you attacking us?!" Wade hissed, only to hear a faint ringing coming from a phone tucked away in the young woman's purse. A look of panic crossed her face, like she'd been found out. "Is that another affair partner, or is that someone we're not going to like on the other line?" Wade hissed, only to watch as the woman swiped her tongue over her teeth before he heard a faint click and within seconds, she was foaming at the mouth and convulsing under him. "That's not how a vibrator is supposed to work...what the hell?" Wade hissed. He already knew what the woman had done and didn't care about being upset about it. She was dead within minutes, only for his attention to turn to the senator as he had woken up from his 'nap'. "What have you done?! You both are DEAD!" The senator shouted, grabbing the gun Wade had tossed at him and pulling back the pin. He aimed it at Cable and just as he did, Wade unholstered his other firearm and pulled the trigger, firing it at the Senator.

Why had the Senator and the young woman attacked them? Why wasn't Cable asking them those questions before they both bit the dust? Wade stepped back, raising his arms up in the air as if saying he didn't mean Cable any harm, despite a large rifle flying into his hands and was aimed right at him. And then a phone rang in the senator's pocket. It cut through the tension. And sure, Wade felt a bit of triumph in completing his own job, but a part of him said that this wasn't over. Cable's attention was even pulled away from the problem at hand-- his job blowing up in his face spectacularly -- by that same phone. "Could the guy pick a better ringtone than Kid Rock?" Wade stood up, dusting himself off as the older man fished the phone out of the senator's pocket, only to freeze when Cable passed the phone over to him, telling him since he killed the senator, he'd be the one to handle whoever was on the other line. "Why me? You know how my brain works, Cabes. It says whatever it wants whenever it wants. I don't got the best bedside manor for this kinda stuff!" Too late. Wade accepted the call and put it on speaker, put his gloved hand over Cable's mouth to keep him quiet. "Senator Jacobs. Is the job complete?" The voice was deep, and it sounded altered, like they were trying to disguise their voice. That was weird. "Senator Jacobs is a bit busy right now, but I can leave a message! To whom am I speaking with?" Wade spoke, his rough voice cutting into the air. "Is Nathan Summers with you?" The voice asked, avoiding the question. "I don't know a Nathan Summers. Even if I did, what do you want with him..or them? Maybe Nathan goes by them. We shouldn't discriminate or judge what he...or they may identify as." Wade babbled, his mind trailing off into some other thought before finally remembering what he was going to ask. "What do you want with some person named Nathan Summers anyways? He owe you lunch money or some shit? He did your girl dirty? If ya want, I'll take him out for whatever price you name. I'm a merc for hire after all, and I promise I'll do a better job than the schmucks you hired have done!" Wade had a plan. It was still brewing, but he was trying to get to the bottom of this. No one was going to threaten Cable's life without meeting the end of his Katanas first! "Alright. How'd you get this phone, anyways?" The voice asked. "I'll tell ya after you give me a price and a location to get the money once the job is complete." Wade was trying to be smart about this, but it was hard when Cable was standing right beside him, probably seething. Wade didn't move his hand away from Cable's mouth. "5 million, and on the corner of 5th and main there's a boarded up abandoned bar. Knock 3 times and someone will let you in. Tell them The Chaos-Bringer sent you." The voice spoke, steady and deep. "Ha! What a cheesy name. Ya got yourself a deal, muchacho! Job will be done by the end of day tomorrow. Also, found the phone abandoned on a table at an ice cream shop. No idea what happened to Senator Jacobs." Wade spoke cheerfully with a grin. Hopefully that gave Cable enough information to work with to figure out who was trying to kill him. "I will send you pictures of the target and his last known location. The target is heavily armed and extremely dangerous." The voice said, and duh, of course he is! That's what makes mr. Silver Fox so damn sexy, reader! Wade hung up the phone and tossed it over to Cable as he removed his hand from the other man's lips, but not before trailing his finger along his jawline teasingly. "Seems you got a secret admirer other than me, handsome. Who's got it out for you called the Chaos Bringer? It sounds like he picked some words from some dumb tumblr post to make an alias that match up to his initials or something. So dumb." Wade ranted, dropping his hands to his side as he kicked at the young woman's stiletto.

Wade watched as Cable called his other gun to him, seeing it dragging against the concrete like a sad puppy. He raised a brow, glancing up at his friend...were they friends? Cable never treated him as such, but it wasn't like they were at each others throats on a daily basis. They had their moments! "What's up with the telekinesis, bud? Need some viagra for that? I'm sure the senator has some in his pocket." Wade said, about to bend down to fish for any stray erectile dysfunction pills, like it would help with telekinesis in any way. It would not. "Look, this sleeze-balls wife paid me 3 million to kill off her husband. Do you at least want to go halvsies on that considering I ruined your shot at a paycheck? She might even give me more considering the woman he was cheating with is also dead." Wade shrugged, snapping two pictures of the Senator before he snapped a few more of the woman, just in case. "And looks like we have a mission, my sexy silver fox! Do we finally get to to team up? Ooh that would be so cool! It's been forever since I've seen a Cable in this world!" Wade beamed, shoving the phone in one of his utility pouches before he gathered his guns.

"Uh huh....then why'd ya take it? Wanted to add it to your resume? Don't think coverin as security for a crooked senator would look too great, mr. tall dark and handsome. That's okay, though! Happens to the best of us." Wade reached up and patted Cable's shoulder before he skipped through the warehouse, only to stop halfway to the door and turning around to face Cable. "The way your rifle dragged across the ground tells me otherwise, but I'm not gonna judge you if you can't get it up! Just means I gotta work a little harder, and you know I do like a challenge. Now c'mon! We got work to do!" Wade waved at Cable to follow him out of the warehouse, pulling his phone back out of his pouch to call Weasel to get the clean up crew out. "Find it sexy when you want to use me as bait, bestie. Granted, whoever's at that location is probably going to want proof that you're dead. What're you willing to give me in return? And are we gonna stake out the location beforehand or can we chill and watch movies at your place? It's been a while since I've seen Titanic. We could totally reenact that scene in the car if you want." Wade winked, a sly grin dancing across his lips behind the mask.

Wade gasped dramatically, lifting his hands to his face in mock surprise when Cable said he hated Titanic. "How could you hate Titanic? Alright, what about the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy? Who's your favorite? My favorite is Pippin." Wade babbled, walking alongside Cable, talking animatedly. "I feel like you're more of the 80's cartoon version of the Hobbit fan. We could watch that instead!" Wade stopped in his tracks when Cable said he was going to take on Stryfe alone. "Dude if you're going to use me as bait for Stryfe, there's no way in hell I'm missing out on battling your evil twin clone with a silly hat! Did you give that hat to him at a birthday party and he's resented you for it ever since? I can see that. He looks like a knockoff version of Peacemaker, and even that guy's helmet is dumb!" Wade jogged back up to Cable, matching his wide stride as they walked alongside each other. "Tell you what, we'll have a movie night and I'll let you pick what we watch instead. Then we'll spend all night plotting and scheming against your weird identical evil twin and doing each others nails and giving each other pedicures! It'll be fun!"

Wade pouted when Cable said no to movie night, only to stop in his tracks when the man mentioned how they had met. He rolled his eyes and quickly stomped up to Cable, jabbing a finger into his chest. "If you recall, mister tall-dark-and-holy fuck you're ripped, shit...sorry. Where was I? Oh yes -- I didn't even succeed in killing you! I got jack shit for it! How the hell do you still have hard feelings about that when we've saved each others lives way too many times to count on my fingers and toes? Remember that time I was melting and your virus was taking over? That was...interesting. Didn't think I'd be inside of you in that way." Wade chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but he saw the wince, the way Cable clenched his jaw in pain before he said those magical words. "I accept your --" Bodyslide by two. "--apology. Ugh. Blech." Wade scoffed, wiggling off the weird feeling he always got when Cable took him along on a bodyslide. Once they appeared at some cozy-looking cottage by the sea, in a downpour. Wade instantly wandered around the room, about ready to pick up a few books to pretend to flip through and read. Are you kidding me, reader? I don't read. Reading is for chumps! I don't have time for that! "Don't touch anything?! What are you gonna do if I do touch things? Stab me? You know I'm into that, papi." Wade said with a very expressive wink, blowing Cable a kiss over his mask. "Maybe a game of cards? Is that more your cup of tea? we could play strip poker while we make a plan." Wade sat down on the sofa, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table.

Wade scoffed when Cable said not to bother trying to read his books. "What makes you think I read, Nate? And you know what? I need to start using your first name more often. You have ten million of them, even Priscilla, if I remember correctly. Cable just seems too formal, like we're strangers." Wade's mind wandered for a moment before he glanced over at Cable, turning the remote over in his hand without actually turning the television on. "You're giving me things like I'm a five year old that's amused by anything handed to them. I don't know if I should feel insulted, or grateful that you know me so well. And really? Only Disney +? Wait, does Disney own everything in the future? Please tell me they don't. It already feels like they own half of America and I hate it!" Wade scoffed, tossing the remote aside for a moment before he loosened his mask, pulling it up over his nose just so he could breathe better. He looked away from Cable for a moment, and even though he knew Cable had seen him without his mask countless times, it still made him nervous. He quickly shoved the thought aside as he listened to Cable talk about his plan. "Alright, so kill you, plan a memorial service/show with Lady Gaga in Rumekistan and realize I got the wrong part of the country altogether but they went with it anyways, then meet up with your evil brother with the silly hat, give him proof that you're dead and collect the money! Got it! oh wait then how are you going to --- Ahh...okay I lie to Stryfe about you being dead. That makes more sense. He's probably going to want proof though. What are we going to do about that? And jeez...never seen you this pissed off before, at least not in a while. I get it -- evil twin brother has definitely done some shitty things but damn...Angry looks sexy on you!"

Wade paused, raising an eyebrow as he watched Cable get even more flustered. He tripped over his words and that wasn't like him; he was always so sure of everything in his mind, and now he was fumbling over everything. And then his eyes darted down to how Cable adjusted his bodysuit and he licked his lips. Ah. That explains it. Wade chuckled softly and pushed himself off the doorframe, stepping into the room, taking his time to approach Cable. His steps were slow, but deliberate as he stood in front of the taller man, his eyes never leaving the other. "No, don't think I would believe you, Nate. For one --" Wade started, his hand outstretched in front of him, fingers trailing up Cable's abdomen. "You're not confused. Never seen you confused in all my years of knowing you. You're always so sure of everything." And this was the first time Wade had touched Cable in years. He tried to hide his own mixed feelings about it; because hell, Cable was sexy and he just wanted to jump the guy's bones but he was holding himself back. "Two -- actually...no, my brain is going elsewhere. Why do you have a picture of us on your mantle?" Wade asked.

Wade rolled his eyes and turned away from Cable for a moment before circling back, shaking his head with a small chuckle. "Nuh uh, you're not pulling that spider-man schtick on me. I let Celine Dion do it in my second movie because she's a queen, but I won't let you get away with that trick!" Wade glanced down at the gun Cable shoved into his hand as a way to deflect from his prying questions. "Nathan...you know I have the attention span of a seven year old that drank 3 mountain dews for breakfast and the iPad my mom gave me died an hour ago. And you know damn well I barely listen to anything anyone says, especially when it comes to rules!" Wade set the guns Cable handed him aside, not needing them. He had enough weapons on him already and Cable knew that by now. "We have until tomorrow to get this job done. I ain't letting your evil doppleganger get away with threatening your life and you damn well know it. And maybe I'll get some money from him as well! Bonuuuussss! Wait, does your evil twin have money or is he broke as a joke? Because I've got so many jokes lined up for that." Wade trailed off for a moment before glancing back at Cable. "Look, you can't go out being this flustered. It's not good for your noggin. You're gonna make a mistake, and we're gonna make a mess of it." Wade said, stepping up to Cable slowly, their bodies inches apart. He could feel the heat radiating off of Cable's torso, and he smiled softly as he leaned up, his lips ghosting over the other's strong jawline. "Let me take that tension away from you, Nate."

Wade had been sitting in this abandoned warehouse for two hours, waiting patiently for Senator Jacobs to show his sneaky little face, and by waiting patiently, he was drawing stick figure doodles all over the cement walls with a piece of chalk that was barely holding it together -- almost like my sanity. Why was he waiting for a senator, you say? "Good question!" Wade exclaimed into the open air, his head turned directly to the reader, as if someone were actually there. "You see, I was paid by his wife, Cassandra, to kill this fucker because he's a disgusting pig who would rather sleep with his 20-something intern and lie to his wife's face about it than to be an actual man. What is he doing in this shitty abandoned warehouse? No idea. Don't care. I just got the deets that Senator Jacobs would be here at fifteen-hundred hours for some reason. Surely not to meet his intern, right? What a weird place to get it on..." Wade turned his attention back to doodling a stick figure of himself putting a bow on a grizzly bear and admired his handiwork when he heard the door creak open and two voices echo across the large warehouse. The game was on. Wade stood up, pulling his handgun out of his holster and heading silently to where the voices were coming from. Showtime, baby! @official-askanison

Wade crept around a few pillars, hanging in the shadows. Sure, his target was here, but who was he talking to? The merc narrowed his eyes as he peeked around one of the pillars, keeping his gun close as he watched the two men chat. 'How much are you willing to pay me for my time?' Well if that didn't sound like something a sex worker would say, reader, then call me an idiot. The other person definitely wasn't some 20-something year old intern, but that 6'8" bulky stature and shock of silver hair definitely gave him a few hints as to who this schmuck was talking to. Cable. Ugh. Could it be anyone but that guy? He always makes me feel guilty for playing for both sides, reader. Dude is too good for his own damn pouch-covered britches! But the way he leaves me frustrated is sexy! Dammit. Wade inhaled slowly through his nose, trying his best not to make a noise, but considering his luck, he'd fuck this job up royally and he wasn't going to get paid, but if he played his cards right, maybe he could get Cable to flip sides and join in on the fun. No. The dude did get his hands dirty from time to time, but not like he did. He had to get Cable away from the senator. Wade holstered his gun and racked his brain for the best option to get the job done now that he had the worlds best security guard on his side. Aha! Distraction. Wade stepped out from behind the pillar and started walking towards the two men. He raised one hand in the air in a friendly-wave of 'hello' as he approached the two. "Cable! Holy fucking shit it's been years! How've you been? Didn't expect to see you in this neck of the woods. Who's your friend? How much did he cost ya?" Wade teased, his voice carrying a joking tone.

Wade frowned, his expression evident even through his mask at Cable's annoyance. He could hear the frustration in the older man's voice, deep and resentful. And really, reader, I should be used to that tone with everyone by now, but from Cable? Ouch. That stung. "You know what's not long enough for my liking, Cable?" Wade's mask-covered eyes travelled briefly down to the taller man's hips, then back up. "The third installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy! Peter Jackson could have definitely added a few more things to the end of that movie! It would have wrapped up so beautifully if he just added something about Elrond or Galadriel. What a babe." Wade turned his attention to the senator for a moment, flicking at the poorly-fitted tie around his neck as he tilted his head curiously at the pattern. Hideous. Wade turned his attention back to the silver fox in the room with a devious smirk. "Breaking my arms off sounds oddly sexual coming from you, my friend. Do you really think that would stop me?" Wade dropped the tie and stepped back, putting distance between himself and the two other men, meandering around the room but never keeping his eyes off of the two for long. "Why you with this sleezeball anyways? You don't look like the twenty-something year old intern he's been having an affair with. You don't even look like his type!" Wade threw his hands up in the air, only to stop and reach for his gun as he heard a door swing open. "Fuck..." The senator hissed under his breath.

"Correctamundo, stretch armstrong, and looks like my job has just gotten harder." Wade said through gritted teeth. It was harder to begin with, because the merc wasn't expecting Cable to show up. That put him in a bit of a pickle, and he hated pickles. The bitterness of them aggravated his tastebuds. Wade put some distance between the Senator and Cable, deciding to hang back as the affair partner walked up to the two men. She was young, blonde and beautiful with sleek hair, a nice red dress and a small purse. "Hey there, handsome! I see you got us that security detail for our trip! The guy in red also part of the detail?" The young woman asked. Damn, she noticed me! Well duh, of course she did! Your suit sticks out like a sore thumb! "I uh --" The senator started, only to be cut off by the merc quickly. "Hey there, toots! Yeah, I'm tall dark and handsome's...new partner? Package deal. If you hire him, you hire me, sweetheart. Anyways, where we goin', and how much 're you paying us?" Wade babbled, stepping back into the light. "Well this has thrown a bit of a wrench in our plans. Would you two boys mind if we step aside for some privacy while I chat with this handsome fella?" The young woman asked, already looping her arm into Senator Jacob's arm and taking a few steps away, the older man following suit until they were both well out of earshot of the merc and Cable. "So, whatcha been up to, Caaaaable?" Wade asked as he turned to Nathan.

Wade instantly turned to Cable, who was busy trying to fend off a woman with exceptional fighting form, her acrobatics almost on par with the blocks Cable was dishing out. And then Wade realized it. Cable didn't have his guns! Where the hell were they? Wade leapt into action, tossing his gun at the senator (like it wasn't loaded with bullets) as the butt of the firearm hit the senator square in the head, knocking him out. "Can't even get your hands dirty for me! What a putz!" Wade scowled as he rushed towards the young woman, sweeping his leg underneath her as she ran towards Cable with a knife drawn. "You little weasel!" she exclaimed as she fell to the floor with a loud thud, trying to scramble back onto her feet as Wade tried to pin her down. "Ooh! Another nickname to add to my book! Why're you attacking us? You just like going after grumpy old men with gray hair? They make you go rabid or something?" Wade asked through gritted teeth. "Because they make me feral. I don't blame you for going after this hunky silver fox behind me! Which reminds me, Mr. Silver Fox, need some help here!" Wade grunted as the woman threw a punch at his face as he pinned her down, kicking her knee right into his gut. That didn't throw him off her, instead, it earned her another joke. "Ow! Unlucky for you, sis, I love it when I get a knee to the groin! Now! Why are you attacking us?!" Wade hissed, only to hear a faint ringing coming from a phone tucked away in the young woman's purse. A look of panic crossed her face, like she'd been found out. "Is that another affair partner, or is that someone we're not going to like on the other line?" Wade hissed, only to watch as the woman swiped her tongue over her teeth before he heard a faint click and within seconds, she was foaming at the mouth and convulsing under him. "That's not how a vibrator is supposed to work...what the hell?" Wade hissed. He already knew what the woman had done and didn't care about being upset about it. She was dead within minutes, only for his attention to turn to the senator as he had woken up from his 'nap'. "What have you done?! You both are DEAD!" The senator shouted, grabbing the gun Wade had tossed at him and pulling back the pin. He aimed it at Cable and just as he did, Wade unholstered his other firearm and pulled the trigger, firing it at the Senator.

Why had the Senator and the young woman attacked them? Why wasn't Cable asking them those questions before they both bit the dust? Wade stepped back, raising his arms up in the air as if saying he didn't mean Cable any harm, despite a large rifle flying into his hands and was aimed right at him. And then a phone rang in the senator's pocket. It cut through the tension. And sure, Wade felt a bit of triumph in completing his own job, but a part of him said that this wasn't over. Cable's attention was even pulled away from the problem at hand-- his job blowing up in his face spectacularly -- by that same phone. "Could the guy pick a better ringtone than Kid Rock?" Wade stood up, dusting himself off as the older man fished the phone out of the senator's pocket, only to freeze when Cable passed the phone over to him, telling him since he killed the senator, he'd be the one to handle whoever was on the other line. "Why me? You know how my brain works, Cabes. It says whatever it wants whenever it wants. I don't got the best bedside manor for this kinda stuff!" Too late. Wade accepted the call and put it on speaker, put his gloved hand over Cable's mouth to keep him quiet. "Senator Jacobs. Is the job complete?" The voice was deep, and it sounded altered, like they were trying to disguise their voice. That was weird. "Senator Jacobs is a bit busy right now, but I can leave a message! To whom am I speaking with?" Wade spoke, his rough voice cutting into the air. "Is Nathan Summers with you?" The voice asked, avoiding the question. "I don't know a Nathan Summers. Even if I did, what do you want with him..or them? Maybe Nathan goes by them. We shouldn't discriminate or judge what he...or they may identify as." Wade babbled, his mind trailing off into some other thought before finally remembering what he was going to ask. "What do you want with some person named Nathan Summers anyways? He owe you lunch money or some shit? He did your girl dirty? If ya want, I'll take him out for whatever price you name. I'm a merc for hire after all, and I promise I'll do a better job than the schmucks you hired have done!" Wade had a plan. It was still brewing, but he was trying to get to the bottom of this. No one was going to threaten Cable's life without meeting the end of his Katanas first! "Alright. How'd you get this phone, anyways?" The voice asked. "I'll tell ya after you give me a price and a location to get the money once the job is complete." Wade was trying to be smart about this, but it was hard when Cable was standing right beside him, probably seething. Wade didn't move his hand away from Cable's mouth. "5 million, and on the corner of 5th and main there's a boarded up abandoned bar. Knock 3 times and someone will let you in. Tell them The Chaos-Bringer sent you." The voice spoke, steady and deep. "Ha! What a cheesy name. Ya got yourself a deal, muchacho! Job will be done by the end of day tomorrow. Also, found the phone abandoned on a table at an ice cream shop. No idea what happened to Senator Jacobs." Wade spoke cheerfully with a grin. Hopefully that gave Cable enough information to work with to figure out who was trying to kill him. "I will send you pictures of the target and his last known location. The target is heavily armed and extremely dangerous." The voice said, and duh, of course he is! That's what makes mr. Silver Fox so damn sexy, reader! Wade hung up the phone and tossed it over to Cable as he removed his hand from the other man's lips, but not before trailing his finger along his jawline teasingly. "Seems you got a secret admirer other than me, handsome. Who's got it out for you called the Chaos Bringer? It sounds like he picked some words from some dumb tumblr post to make an alias that match up to his initials or something. So dumb." Wade ranted, dropping his hands to his side as he kicked at the young woman's stiletto.

Wade watched as Cable called his other gun to him, seeing it dragging against the concrete like a sad puppy. He raised a brow, glancing up at his friend...were they friends? Cable never treated him as such, but it wasn't like they were at each others throats on a daily basis. They had their moments! "What's up with the telekinesis, bud? Need some viagra for that? I'm sure the senator has some in his pocket." Wade said, about to bend down to fish for any stray erectile dysfunction pills, like it would help with telekinesis in any way. It would not. "Look, this sleeze-balls wife paid me 3 million to kill off her husband. Do you at least want to go halvsies on that considering I ruined your shot at a paycheck? She might even give me more considering the woman he was cheating with is also dead." Wade shrugged, snapping two pictures of the Senator before he snapped a few more of the woman, just in case. "And looks like we have a mission, my sexy silver fox! Do we finally get to to team up? Ooh that would be so cool! It's been forever since I've seen a Cable in this world!" Wade beamed, shoving the phone in one of his utility pouches before he gathered his guns.

"Uh huh....then why'd ya take it? Wanted to add it to your resume? Don't think coverin as security for a crooked senator would look too great, mr. tall dark and handsome. That's okay, though! Happens to the best of us." Wade reached up and patted Cable's shoulder before he skipped through the warehouse, only to stop halfway to the door and turning around to face Cable. "The way your rifle dragged across the ground tells me otherwise, but I'm not gonna judge you if you can't get it up! Just means I gotta work a little harder, and you know I do like a challenge. Now c'mon! We got work to do!" Wade waved at Cable to follow him out of the warehouse, pulling his phone back out of his pouch to call Weasel to get the clean up crew out. "Find it sexy when you want to use me as bait, bestie. Granted, whoever's at that location is probably going to want proof that you're dead. What're you willing to give me in return? And are we gonna stake out the location beforehand or can we chill and watch movies at your place? It's been a while since I've seen Titanic. We could totally reenact that scene in the car if you want." Wade winked, a sly grin dancing across his lips behind the mask.

Wade gasped dramatically, lifting his hands to his face in mock surprise when Cable said he hated Titanic. "How could you hate Titanic? Alright, what about the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy? Who's your favorite? My favorite is Pippin." Wade babbled, walking alongside Cable, talking animatedly. "I feel like you're more of the 80's cartoon version of the Hobbit fan. We could watch that instead!" Wade stopped in his tracks when Cable said he was going to take on Stryfe alone. "Dude if you're going to use me as bait for Stryfe, there's no way in hell I'm missing out on battling your evil twin clone with a silly hat! Did you give that hat to him at a birthday party and he's resented you for it ever since? I can see that. He looks like a knockoff version of Peacemaker, and even that guy's helmet is dumb!" Wade jogged back up to Cable, matching his wide stride as they walked alongside each other. "Tell you what, we'll have a movie night and I'll let you pick what we watch instead. Then we'll spend all night plotting and scheming against your weird identical evil twin and doing each others nails and giving each other pedicures! It'll be fun!"

Wade pouted when Cable said no to movie night, only to stop in his tracks when the man mentioned how they had met. He rolled his eyes and quickly stomped up to Cable, jabbing a finger into his chest. "If you recall, mister tall-dark-and-holy fuck you're ripped, shit...sorry. Where was I? Oh yes -- I didn't even succeed in killing you! I got jack shit for it! How the hell do you still have hard feelings about that when we've saved each others lives way too many times to count on my fingers and toes? Remember that time I was melting and your virus was taking over? That was...interesting. Didn't think I'd be inside of you in that way." Wade chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but he saw the wince, the way Cable clenched his jaw in pain before he said those magical words. "I accept your --" Bodyslide by two. "--apology. Ugh. Blech." Wade scoffed, wiggling off the weird feeling he always got when Cable took him along on a bodyslide. Once they appeared at some cozy-looking cottage by the sea, in a downpour. Wade instantly wandered around the room, about ready to pick up a few books to pretend to flip through and read. Are you kidding me, reader? I don't read. Reading is for chumps! I don't have time for that! "Don't touch anything?! What are you gonna do if I do touch things? Stab me? You know I'm into that, papi." Wade said with a very expressive wink, blowing Cable a kiss over his mask. "Maybe a game of cards? Is that more your cup of tea? we could play strip poker while we make a plan." Wade sat down on the sofa, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table.

Wade scoffed when Cable said not to bother trying to read his books. "What makes you think I read, Nate? And you know what? I need to start using your first name more often. You have ten million of them, even Priscilla, if I remember correctly. Cable just seems too formal, like we're strangers." Wade's mind wandered for a moment before he glanced over at Cable, turning the remote over in his hand without actually turning the television on. "You're giving me things like I'm a five year old that's amused by anything handed to them. I don't know if I should feel insulted, or grateful that you know me so well. And really? Only Disney +? Wait, does Disney own everything in the future? Please tell me they don't. It already feels like they own half of America and I hate it!" Wade scoffed, tossing the remote aside for a moment before he loosened his mask, pulling it up over his nose just so he could breathe better. He looked away from Cable for a moment, and even though he knew Cable had seen him without his mask countless times, it still made him nervous. He quickly shoved the thought aside as he listened to Cable talk about his plan. "Alright, so kill you, plan a memorial service/show with Lady Gaga in Rumekistan and realize I got the wrong part of the country altogether but they went with it anyways, then meet up with your evil brother with the silly hat, give him proof that you're dead and collect the money! Got it! oh wait then how are you going to --- Ahh...okay I lie to Stryfe about you being dead. That makes more sense. He's probably going to want proof though. What are we going to do about that? And jeez...never seen you this pissed off before, at least not in a while. I get it -- evil twin brother has definitely done some shitty things but damn...Angry looks sexy on you!"

Wade paused, raising an eyebrow as he watched Cable get even more flustered. He tripped over his words and that wasn't like him; he was always so sure of everything in his mind, and now he was fumbling over everything. And then his eyes darted down to how Cable adjusted his bodysuit and he licked his lips. Ah. That explains it. Wade chuckled softly and pushed himself off the doorframe, stepping into the room, taking his time to approach Cable. His steps were slow, but deliberate as he stood in front of the taller man, his eyes never leaving the other. "No, don't think I would believe you, Nate. For one --" Wade started, his hand outstretched in front of him, fingers trailing up Cable's abdomen. "You're not confused. Never seen you confused in all my years of knowing you. You're always so sure of everything." And this was the first time Wade had touched Cable in years. He tried to hide his own mixed feelings about it; because hell, Cable was sexy and he just wanted to jump the guy's bones but he was holding himself back. "Two -- actually...no, my brain is going elsewhere. Why do you have a picture of us on your mantle?" Wade asked.