You are a mystery detective that solves fake monster crimes. When you finally meet real monsters, they reward you for being their most trusted agent against identity crimes
Cosimo Galluzzi

titsay

oozey mess
Misplaced Lens Cap
YOU ARE THE REASON

JBB: An Artblog!

i don't do bad sauce passes

Discoholic πͺ©

Show & Tell
I'd rather be in outer space πΈ
hello vonnie
Sweet Seals For You, Always

β

pixel skylines
Cosmic Funnies

#extradirty
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

seen from Austria
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@ofstarsandmagic
You are a mystery detective that solves fake monster crimes. When you finally meet real monsters, they reward you for being their most trusted agent against identity crimes

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Utterly obsessed with these Shakespeare playbook covers from the late 1960s by Paul Hogarth
not photogenic but i probably look sooo good as a distant memory
no one ever talks about gimli being not even slightly tempted by the ring. motherfucker had no hesitation just walked up with his axe and immediately tried to wreck it. obviously that didnβt work but like, the ring had zero visible effect on him. amazingβ¦ gold sickness in the line of durin WHOMST?? not in gimli son of gloin
He wasnβt going to let himself be embarrassed in front of all these fucking ELVES
the ring: gimli son of gloin you can have your deepest desires if you just take me~
gimli: oh?!
elrond: the ring tempts all who come into contact with it
gimli: my deepest desire is to not look like a lilβbitch in front of all these fucking elves

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I have already died thrice by 1pm
time loop with two people in it but one person refuses to acknowledge the loop and pretends to be looping with everyone else. meanwhile the other person is freaking out
one day it'll happen to you. you will stay up a bit too late playing a video game and not get to bed on time. I've done it before, you'll think. I'll be fine. but no. you will make it through most of the next day and then at about 2pm you will feel like a reanimated corpse whose sim meters are all completely fucked and nothing hurts exactly but everything does feel very bad. and you'll think oh yeah. I'm not twenty anymore
*cools ur dashboard down*
(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Recently managed to activate the most amazing infodump trap card.
I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."
As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.
Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.
A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.
As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"
Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.
You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.
It was not.
It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where β you must understand β the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.
And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.
This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.
After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis β the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding β hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.
None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.
With these advantages β and being the best dog there β Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.
Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.
"Phyllis," said he.
The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.
"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"
Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch β the dog, not the woman β went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.
Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.
Secondly, Sister Lucy always said when she died she wanted to come back as one of Phyllis's dogs because "mom treated the dogs better than us."
Listening to the local fire department radios as they rescue a cat in a sewer. Here's how it's going:
FD: We can see the cat. Do you have an ETA on animal control?
Dispatch: Twenty minutes.
FD: Alright, we think we can get the cat.
Dispatch: Copy, we'll let animal control know.
FD several minutes later: We've got the cat.
Dispatch: Copy, do you still want--
FD, interrupting: Update, the cat DOES NOT like us.
Dispatch: ...so you do still want animal control, then?"
FD: Yes. Tell them the cat is in the engine.
Dispatch: ...are you also in the engine?
FD: Not anymore, no.
Hey someone suggested I use ChatGPT to figure out adulting today, and as I was going through the mental list of places I'd rather look, I realized "beloved strangers on Tumblr dot net" was on that list.
So if you have an aspect of adulting that you're really good at-taxes, budgeting, cooking, insurance, credit, time management, house upkeep, anything-please feel free to reblog with any tips.
Not me, but @bitchesgetriches has a lot of great resources for many of these topics on their website.
That's us! Professional internet adults, specializing in financial stuff! We recommend starting with our Grand List of All Articles, or one of our Masterposts:
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need To Know About Taxes
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about How to Increase Your Income
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Retirement and How to Retire
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Credit and Credit Cards
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Investing for Beginners
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about How to Pay off Debt
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need To Know About Living Independently for the First Time
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Repairing Our Busted-Ass World
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Self-Care
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Getting a Job, Raise, or Promotion
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Saving Money and Being Frugal
making stuff is one of the best parts of being alive
I love vague labels that make people go "but that's confusing" or "but that could mean anything" Good. Keep guessing lol
"Queer doesn't actually tell me anything" who says I wanted to tell you anything. Who even are you.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID