I DON'T WANT TO CARRY IT .

        “  hey, i would’ve made a great prom king.  “     

( he remembers he nearly missed it. got out of juvie a couple months prior for the whole joyriding thing and ended up with ellie and andrew and a few of their friends in the backseat of a limo. they’d danced under the terrible purple streamers to some stupid backstreet boys song, and he ended up making out with ellie in the school bathrooms. it had been such a fun night. happy, easy. it had felt like a boon after a shitty few months being stuck to g.e.d. classes online that his dad forced him to take, to a pointless end. )

     did mable go to her prom? it seems weird that he doesn’t know, and if he did know he can’t remember if she’s ever told him. it makes him tuck her closer, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. she’s might be a year or two older, but he’s a foot taller and she’s infinitely sadder than most people he knows. stevie’s hardly ever sad: he’s the happy go lucky guy, he’s always supposed to have a smile on his face, he’s the guy everybody invited to the party because they knew he’d be on to form. the joker, the comic, the number one guy for a good time. 

       “ don’t sweat it. you know charlee doesn’t mind about this stuff and sasha is cool. besides you’re here now, and that’s the important bit. the party is the only bit worth coming to anyway. don’t tell them i said that.  “     he peers down at her, avoiding exhaling near her, head tilted away for a second.     “  everything okay? do you need me to go check some fools?  “

     𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐣𝐮𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 , 𝐝𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐝'𝐬 𝐡𝐲𝐞𝐧𝐚'𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 , 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝     ---     she’s sneering at her own self behind her smiling teeth , at how she palpably glows all the more brightly after she’s been gifted his small press of affection atop her once neatly braided hair now undone     (     too tight , too unlike her ; she can handle the taut bun she’s required within work but if she has to suffer any more rigorous strain on her scalp for the sake of formality mable’s face will feel as though it’ll curl up sharply like cartoon blinds pulled on by too harsh of insistent hands     ) and all wild waves of walnut scatter . she doesn’t remember prom . she might not have even gone .           she likes sasha . he reminds her very much of the things she can remember of isaac bartholomei , before old age had taken him too soon .    “     my lips are sealed .     “ 

@brutlist· / @oforesight· 

      stevie is late but shows up in a tie and a clean shirt that his mom has let him borrow. dad doesn’t talk to him in the car on the way to the reception, but sophie babbles about barbies and shows him how to work her ipad, look at all my shows uncle steve! (she’s still got that little kid lisp so it comes out unc’teev.)

when they do get to the reception, he dances with ellie and hugs charlee and shakes sasha’s hand. it’s fun, a great party. finding mable out on the grassy gardens that overlook a wide country house field is an accident, but he doesn’t mind. throws an arm around her shoulders, sliding a cigarette out from behind his ear. 

      “ my sister is married - how weird, right? “

joe had seen mable’s ankle twist under the pressure of a bad move ; had surged forward to catch her before the electrical fence could. but her best hadn’t been enough. her hand flies over her mouth as she watches the other woman stagger back from the source of heat. the horses go whinnying into the pasture, and she cranes her neck to the creatures, then back again, fast enough to give herself whiplash. mable is laughing, at least — no hard feelings. 

          ❛ shit. what’ve you got to be sorry for ? ❜ she approaches with hands outstretched, gesturing for permission to assess the damage. ❛ couple of big babies is what they are. ❜

SPIDER - SILKEN PEACE : THE PRESAGE DISTURBED,   disturbing.   the web of her home had thrummed her heart - strings with an omen before she had even reached for the door.    SHE DOES NOT HEAR THE QUIET,   she feels it,    &  she feels it as the night feels the moon tear its void - black veil   –   NEITHER PAINFUL NOR COMFORTING.    the door creaks when it slows its swing,    &  the wooden doorframe makes its slight splinters known underneath the pads of her fingertips as she touches its shape    ——    yet these are hardly the things that take her attention ; someone far more important stands on her doorstep.    ❝   mable.   ❞    the range of her visitors is small,   but mable’s appearance isn’t rare as much as it is different.   SHE OPENS THE DOOR & STEPS ASIDE TO LET HER PASS.    ❝   of course.   ❞

@oforesight· / mable or david.

                ❛  looks good. but you really shouldn’t be asking my advice about this, i know literally nothing about décor.  ❜ 

          a full minute is not that long,  and there are a thousand and one things that she could be doing at this moment that would leave her too busy to look at the phone.  but for his text,  childish as are you mad at me may sound,  the minute felt like a solid half hour.  his friendships were so few are far between anymore,  he didn’t want to think about something so silly between him and stevie causing a rift with him and mable.  

           but the text does come,  and he can feel the air held tightly in his chest release.  

[ text; mable ]:  i was a jerk to stevie because he really upset me.  i shouldn’t have hit him.   [ text; mable ]:  we worked it out.  

     𝐢𝐟 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭 , 𝐦𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 . she won’t . the justification is hazy , and while their brotherly spats were common as much as they were few and far between , she couldn’t justify them . her brothers would squabble among themselves , herself being no exception     ---     but it’d never come to blows . it’s not a matter of the holier than thou . even andrew admits it was in the wrong . perhaps she just couldn’t understand their dysfunction . every family had it , and it never manifested in the same way . what could she say of it ??

      ❛  i’m not saying i don’t understand, david. hell, if the roles were reversed, yeah i’d probably want to beat his ass too. but this isn’t about us. and at some point, you have to just trust the boundaries you set up - meaning that mable and ellie and everybody else? they get to make their own choice about being in his life. personally? not my cup of tea. doesn’t mean i’m going to let you treat him like shit. he does that enough himself already.  ❜