xx

pinterest board tw. drug use, emotional abuse, escorting, cancer

*fair warning i’m a lil buzzed typing this; strap in for a bumpy ride*

    𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚.   —    when the offer for drinks had been put out there, and then volleyed by themself into drinks and maybe a meal… they’d been a little taken aback. mostly for the simple reason that jade wasn’t their usual type when she first crossed into forbidden planet - crisp and classy, a professional, someone who estella imagined felt comfortable in pantsuits and who should have, in all likelihood, overlooked the quirky assistant manager of the hallowed nerd kingdom of roswell.  as they got themselves ready they couldn’t help but think on how  the conversation had flowed with ease, and it seemed so simple to organise a time and tell jade where to pick them up …   but now, she felt a touch nervous.   estella wasn’t sure if it was a date or not, or a test drive to see if a date wouldn’t be awkward, and besides that — if they were being honest, they really hadn’t been on a date as an adult. the last date they were on was probably when they were sixteen.    things churned in her head, chief among them was the looming fear that jade may want to go somewhere out of estella’s budget and they’d find themselves embarrassed. after a bit of scrutiny and second guessing, estella donned the white cami-singlet that she had made earlier that week, and a pair of high-waisted shorts; pulled her long hair up into a high ponytail  ( though it still brushed her rear in length )  and stepped out of their trailer.    sitting in the dappled sun and shade, she tucked her feet under herself and opened up a well-worn copy of  ‘ lord of the rings ’.     the sound of tyres on gravel didn’t pull their attention, but as the car stopped and no footsteps came after  (odd)  ,   they looked up.   at first estella didn’t immediately recognise the figure standing in a sweet, figure hugging sundress, though she did catch their eye, but after a moment she realized who it was and her stomach did a little flip-flop.   getting to her feet, they licked their lips and called out;  “jade!”  she was only a lot or two away, a dozen or so paces, she raised her hand and gave a slight wave, feeling a little awkward but excitable,  they weren’t really sure what to do with her hands, she she slotted them into her pockets as they took a few steps to meet the blonde woman at the invisible boundary of estella’s little trailer lot.

her hearts beating a bit faster than imagined as she continues to grip the door, her throat growing dry as she wonders if during her time here if josiah or sparrow’s face will emerge. with that would come a slew of excuses which she wasn’t entirely ready for, she couldn’t even put a label on what she thought this was. she brushed some hair back over her shoulder as the voice called her back to reality and she found a smile breaking on her lips as she moves in front of the car, folding her hands in front of her stomach with a soft laugh and soon a wave in return. “estella.” she speaks her name fondly as she walks a bit closer, closing a bit of space between herself and the woman’s trailer. “you look..” she trailed before giving her a once over, “incredible.” she muses as she reaches forward, brushing her thumb against estella’s shoulder before retracting her hand and tugging on her lower lip. was that too much? she brushes the thought off as she pushes onto her toes, eyebrows raising as she looks between her and the car. “what do you say... planet 7?” she asks hopefully, wondering if the choice of venue wasn’t too outdated. coming back to her routes left her without many luxurious options that she’d grown used to back in new york but to be honest... she was okay with that. it isn’t entirely about the place you go to.. rather the company kept and in that moment she felt she could be anywhere and still enjoy her time with estella. it felt odd to her that she felt comfortable with someone she’d just met but the energy in the comic store had been so radiant that she couldn’t help but want to be around her, even if that thought alone scared the shit out of her. “.. could go to crashdown after, if you’re hungry.” she hums with a soft grin. “but i mean.. i’m totally up for anything.. whatever you want, really..” she rambles a bit, the cadence of her words speeding up a bit as she wrinkles up her nose

the walk back to jade’s was slow , a stumbled trajectory interrupted with giggles and near falls courtesy of the abundance of alcohol consumed that night . as long as they got home in one piece that was all that mattered – scraped knees or laddered tights would serve as mere collateral damage up against the alternative of sparrow abandoning their sister in a dark night club or midway home , leaving her at the mercy of roswell’s unsavories . “ i do not !! “ they retorted , keeping an arm wrapped firmly around jade’s waist to prevent her wandering off the track entirely , “ i get one of my five a day , and i need all the help i can get when i smoke like a chimney . we can’t buy every pizza topping , j , that’s insanity .. how about we pick five off the menu ?? you can get three , i’ll choose the other two . and double that lava cake order while you’re at it . “ when they were together that part of sparrow that was seemingly lost to the tragedy of life came crawling back . this was the closest they had got to their ‘ normal ‘ self since moving away ; there was still a tone of annoyance , a part of them which wished their family didn’t have to rely so heavily on each other to keep their head above water , but all the stresses and heartbreak had been , for at least an evening , left in texas where they belonged . stepping up onto the front porch their head of washed-out pink hair turned , splaying their palm in jade’s direction . “ keys ?? “

//

it was rather ironic that sparrow would be the one to keep jade on track as they walked home, the younger sibling being the far more responsible on in that moment. she could on most nights keep herself in one piece, go to the bar alone, go home alone.. but when she was around her siblings it always seemed to end in a chaotic mess though to be honest it warmed her heart the way they could pick back up, no matter how much time had passed. “you do.” jade deadpans with a obnoxious laugh as her hand slaps over her mouth as she looks over at sparrow. “i also don’t think gettin’ you’re ‘one of five a day’ is going to press reset on your lungs, babe.” she chides to them as she ruffles their hair. her footing isn’t great but she can see a bit clearer now, even if her drunken state is still heavy. “double lava cake.. can we at least ask them to split the pizza in half? like.. i just want pepperoni.. ‘n like.. sausage..” she trails as they finally break sight of her jupiter home. she moves to fish through her purse, groaning a bit as she has trouble finding them. “ugh.. just.. under the rock on the porch.. key in there...” she muffles as she points sparrow in the direction of her spare. she knows if she even tries to make the attempt to lean down she imagines a trip to the hospital on the account of horrible balance. 

☽ ⋆ JADE! / @ofjadex​

           ❝ thank you for pickin’ me up. ❞ if the words sound slightly muffled, it’s only because of the cotton he’s stuffed into his cheek to stop the bleeding from where he’d managed to bite right through the flesh as a fist connected with his jaw earlier in the evening. they’re sincere, though, as much is clear as josiah shifts uncomfortably in the passenger seat of his older sister’s car, turns to better face her and lets a mess of matted curls drop against the headrest with a soft thud. there aren’t too many people he’s made privy to his more private pastime, a hobby that’s more balled fists and bloodied bandages than anything else, but jade is one of the few people in his life he’s allowed past all the walls he’s built up. normally on nights like these, he’d be in the company of another blonde, one who’d waste little time in urging him right into the back of her red jetta after a few rounds in the ring and clean up his cuts, press kisses to his bruises the moment they got home. but it’s a wednesday and he knows those aren’t his days, the only days that aren’t his days, and so he’d driven himself to fletcher’s fight club and he’d had every intention of driving himself back home. that was, of course, until he’d gotten his lights knocked out and come back to double vision and a vague sense of dizziness he couldn’t quite shake. after taking a second or two to collect himself, there was only one other person he’d call. jade. his big sister. 

          there’s something vaguely familiar about the entire scenario, the way it feels like he’s suddenly been transported back fifteen or so years, and mama’s sent her to come pick him up from the principal’s office after getting suspended for getting into a fight with a kid on the playground. his smile is lopsided, barely visible in the dim light of the car as he looks over at his sister fondly.  ❝ am i shit outta favors tonight, or could i maybe ask you one more? ❞

//

wednesday nights had usually been spent curled up on her couch, interrogation tapes serving as background noise as she drummed up notes for scheduled trials as she prepped her defense. a bottle of wine would be opened, a second even lie in waiting on the counter with an array of notepads scattered across her couch. it was routine for her but she knew better than to solidify herself to anything concrete, not with her family. so when the phone rang and a weathered voice emits from her phone she’s out of her house in seconds with a couple waters and a pack of ice. she doesn’t necessarily agree with josiah’s choice of therapy but she knows better than to talk him out of it, his anger is something she shares but her actions are rather mixed with a drinking problem and picking fights at the bar.. though sparrow prevents the latter. their vices are all unique but are rooted so deep in the moore curse that her grip on the steering wheel is tight on her way to her little brother.

her gaze ever so often switches to josiah as she drives them away from the fight club, pushing the ice pack back towards him though she’s sure he’ll refuse it for the 4th time. an old def leppard cd could be heard softly in the background as his voice reaches her ears and she can only allow a soft laugh to escape her lips as she nods a bit. “you’re never out of favors with me josie, you know that.” she assures. 

location: planet 7 ! availability: open, @roswellstarters​

          blue hues are focused on the rest of whiskey sitting at the bottom of his glass, lips slightly pursed at the thoughts that swirled around his head. he probably looked so pathetic, all by his lonesome in a bar that was so full of life. and that’s exactly how he felt, too. a writer that hadn’t been able to write in over two months, not ever since he arrived in roswell. he tries not to blame himself and rather the consequences but wyatt had always been way too harsh on himself. instead of wallowing in self-pity all night, he moves his gaze elsewhere and finds someone else all alone, deciding to send over a drink their way. maybe he could find himself a friend that night or really anything that would distract him enough from the thoughts that threatened to eat him alive.

..

jade’s presence in plant 7 has come to be of ritualistic. it sure as hell beats the lonely walls of her jupiter home that while she adored.. held far too much silence. growing up in the trailer park she had grown used to the noise, the shattering of glasses in her neighbor’s rv or the loud incessant barking of the chihuahua on the end of the road. as she strolled in, phone in hand as she sent out an email her eyes landed on a particularly wallowing elder brother and her eyes sparkled softly as the lights bounced around the dim room. her hand was slow to sneak across his back before landing on his shoulder, her head daring a look at him with her own genuine grin streaked across her lips. “this seat taken?” she purrs with a kiss to his cheek before sliding into the stool. 

jade had​ been no stranger to the trailer park, she’d spent eighteen years of her there. everything had been the same when she had returned six months prior, no stone had felt unturned and the same vacant home in the far corner, where she had her first kiss behind, still resided with no occupant. however this trip to her old home wouldn’t coincide with a visit to see josiah and sparrow or to reminisce about her childhood. nay she had her eyes set on something far different. her stomach turned with a bit of nerve, nerve that wasn’t common in her body. jade was confident, she held her head high, but this visit had ties to something she wasn’t entirely the best at. she wasn’t even entirely sure that this was a date or rather a simple ‘thank you for finding me a comic for my convict client’s son’ due to her gracious nature.

but there she stood, holding the door to her old jeep wrangler as she hopped out, smoothing out her sundress as she looked around a bit, lip tucked under her teeth as she tried to remember the number estella had given her. see jade had a curse when it came to first dates. all of them had ended at just that.. one dinner, a few rounds of drinks and she would be left with an excuse later that week, or most times the lack of any closure at all. she’d been so consumed in her thoughts as she gripped the door, her stomach flipping over and over that she almost forgot why she was there.

location: area 51

with: @ofjadex​

it wasn’t often that fletcher strayed from the wild pony for a quick drink after his shift , but as it was a friday evening he’d decided to try and inject a little fun into his life , even if for a few hours . already though the whiny music had irritated to no end , not to mention the drunk girls practically throwing themselves at him – next time he’d make a note to wear a jacket to prevent his biceps from becoming the main attraction . standing in the smoking area out the back of the club he spun his thumb against the wheel of his lighter , cursing beneath his breath when the flame lit , sputtered , and disappeared . “ – you got a light i can borrow ?? if i don’t have a cigarette right now i fear something might get smashed .. or worse , someone . “ 

there wasn’t a weekend that jade wasn’t out and about. it helped to calm the anxiety of being alone in her house, left with the thoughts that weren’t entirely nice in their own regard. she had kept mostly to planet 7 but tonight she had other plans and with her favorite dj having residency at area 51 she opted for the latter with a body full of toxins as she danced the night away. she’d come alone, like most nights that didn’t include sparrow, she figured they had done enough babysitting since her arrival in town and it wasn’t liquor causing her energy to be at it’s peak. she’d stumbled out of the club with a beer in hand hoping to salvage some fresh air and a pick me up. the crowd outside wasn’t plentiful and she preferred it that way but a soft voice caught her attention. she didn’t recognize him right away as she squinted to catch distinguishing features in the moonlight. “smokin’ kills, y’know.” jade teases as she fishes through her purse before finding a box of matches. “but so does smashin’...” she hums as she extends the box. “here, better than lighter fluid.” she offers with a tilt of her head.

.

         “i think i just might,” his words punctuate a rather goofy looking cherry stained grin – thanks to the colourful cocktail of his own he’d been sipping. “it could have been worse and landed on your gorgeous outfit, which looks a heck of a lot more expensive than my target t-shirt.” before aaron can even protest the club soda, the blonde is already dipping it agains the soiled fabric. “thank you,” he offers up. twisting his words with a playful hiss. as if ti had stung like getting alcohol in a wound.

“thank god.. i mean.. as good as i am in the court room.. can’t say i’d make good on my own defense..” she chides as she chews on the white straw left from her glass. she pushes herself on her toes as she grabs the soda water, dipping a napkin inside before making work at the small stain on his shirt, lips twisted up in focus as she uses the sporadic bits of light to find her way around the cotton polyester blend. “please, this ol’ thing? got it at marshall’s..” she speaks with a hint of teasing to her tone. she finally gets the stain to lighten up as she leans back, satisfied with her work. “now, let me buy you a round, hm?” she proposes as she leans forward against the bar, hand waving for the bartender’s attention.

“ come on , let’s get you home .. “ sparrow took hold of jade’s arm once the drinks were finished and abandoned , thanking the bartender as they passed ( mostly for putting up with the pair of them , rather than mixing their drinks ) . ever since they had been born it was almost expected for them to apologise ; they felt the pressure to apologise for being a moore , for being a menace , for being born with the wrong DNA , which was perhaps why they were so outwardly unapologetic day-to-day . tonight was the exception , though , attempting to hide their mortified expression caring for the sibling that was always meant to look out for them , and instead couldn’t even walk in a straight line . once boots collided with concrete the stale roswell air hit the two siblings ; although sparrow was a few drinks in the need , and the necessity , to keep their older sister upright was surprisingly sobering . compared to the blasting music of planet 7 the streets late at night were deathly silent , save for the chirping of cicadas and crickets as they went about their nocturnal lives . “ she’s the man sounds like a great pick , “ they responded , an arm linking with jade’s , walking in tow with the other and paying close attention to the pace of their sister’s stumble so , if she started to falter , sparrow could promptly intervene , “ and we can order some pizza too . i’m already thinking of getting ham and mushroom , but then i could go for a pepperoni .. maybe we just say fuck it and buy the lot . “ 

in the morning jade would come to her stark realization of the night, the embarrassment would flood her system and she’d send mass apology texts to her sister about having too much to drink. it was an awful broken record, one she’d picked up from her father indirectly, and one that she was hoping to fix. she was supposed to be the care taker, the one that held the family together but as of late she was faltering, her desire to keep up the image of strength was beginning to unravel and sparrow seemed to be well away. her body was tired, ached, and her mind couldn’t seem to catch up. she’d take a line in the morning, reset, apologize. for now though she could only focus on not taking sparrow down with her as they walked the streets of roswell, just like they had so many years ago. “you always had the worst -hiccup- choices of .. pizza toppings.” jade hummed with a wrinkle of her nose as she looked over at them. “let’s buy the lot.” she mused with a smile soon replacing her features and a giggle slipping past. “oooo... we can.. we can get the lava cake, yeah? vanilla ice cream is in the freezer.” she chided as she wiped at a bit of lipstick on the corner of her mouth. jade begun to feel herself find a bit of coherency as the fresh air benefited her drunken state as she felt a small pit in her stomach, eyebrows furrowing.

          In all honesty, Wyatt didn’t think there would ever be a reunion amongst his siblings — the family seemed too scattered around, too detached from one another to make it even doable, and yet here they all were. Under the most awful circumstances but it still, even for his own cold heart to admit, was something. Tapping against his now empty glass with two fingers, he snorts out a small chuckle at Jade’s words, shaking his head. “I don’t doubt you there but I didn’t want to grab any more unwanted attention towards myself so I simply glared her way until she went back to her business. Also should’a considered barking at her or something — that’d get them to leave me alone for good.” Wyatt quips and stands up to fill up his glass again, pouring the wine as he glances back at his sister for a second. Humming, he sips on the crimson liquid before he replies to her question. “No, things were surprinsingly good with Jo. With his twin, however…” He sighs as he makes his way back to the couch. “Just served to remind me that Sparrow and I are too much alike. I don’t think we’ll ever get along because of ours, you know, lovely personalities. And I didn’t even reunite with Rowan yet, heard that he was back but we haven’t had the pleasure to talk… I don’t even know what that’ll feel like. He sounds like a stranger to me now.” Wyatt admits, bringing his glass towards his lips again.

..

the love jade held for her siblings was stronger than her desire to be hundreds of miles from roswell, she’d stay until the dust settled, and longer if she was needed. even if relationships had been strained through the years she knew the moore siblings had one thing in common, trauma. it was what bind them together, kept them tethered. her relationship with wyatt had been special, something about their bond was different than what she had with the others, not better.. not worse, simply different. he’d been the ying to her yang, the two had been far too alike she was honestly certain they’d been meant to be twins. “barkin’... would’a loved to see that.” she spoke honestly with a wink. she drinks the remainder of whats left in her glass before opting to move towards the wine cabinet, choosing to open another bottle and forgo refilling as she sits on the arm rest beside her brother. when jade hears sparrow’s name ushered she feels a frown grace her lips. unlike wyatt her relationship with her sister hadn’t been severed or strained. “spar will come around.. just give ‘em time..” she begins to speak, pulling the wine bottle to her lips for a long sip before moving her hand to rest on his shoulder. “haven’t seen ro either.. mostly been bothering josie at the bar.” she admits before coming to a stand as she stretches her arms in the air, swinging the bottle a bit as she bounces onto her toes. “can we just have one good night, wyatt? let’s just.. abandon tragic moore discussions.. let’s paint the town red...”

“GOD. why is it the drunk nerds that always seem to get the most handsy?” aylin huffed, turning to the person beside her as she tucked raven locks behind her hair, “please…get me away from here before i pour this drink on this alien’s head…and this drink costs more than i make in an hour.”

..

“you want me to kick them in the balls?” jade asked as she lifted her gaze from a small compact mirror. she took a moment to finish applying a small bit of blood red lipstick when she heard the words and her eyes instantly became fixated on the man in question. “just say the word, i’ll do it.” she mused with a wink before closing the mirror, tucking it into her purse before she moved to link her arm with the girl’s tugging her away. 

-

josiah and sparrow were only twenty minutes apart , with them being the older of the two , but it felt sometimes that they were the oldest of the entire group . there was a mature head upon those shoulders of theirs , a clarity that wasn’t shared by the entirety of the family ; perhaps it was because sparrow had been dragged to hell and back , forced to grow up stuck on fast-forward . “ okay , okay .. if i promise to stay over and grab some snacks for us so we can watch movies will you let me take you home after this drink ?? we can do a little more drinking in the safety of your place . please . “ it was a compromise , perhaps not the one jade was angling for , but at least it was better than abandoning their sister on the couch with a blanket draped over her shoulders . this way sparrow could at least keep an eye on the intoxicated woman and make sure no ill came of her . seeing how their father could decline after an evening of drinking struck fear into sparrow’s heart , worrying that , one evening , they might drop their older sister off at her place , and that would be the last time they ever saw her . of course , concerns would never be spoken aloud . “ i know . i’m super lame , right ?? but you’re right . it’ll be like when we were young . you can even pick the movie . “

..

it wasn’t as if jade couldn’t handle herself, the matter of fact was she had just spent so much of her life wrapped up in trauma that she couldn’t find a proper coping mechanism. the only thing her father gave to her in life was his drinking problem and that was ever so apparent as she refused to think about her mother on a sober brain. when sparrow seemed to agree with the sleepover, even only to keep their sister from causing a scene, jade’s eyes lit up and her arms extended above her. “wooo!” she let out with a laugh as she wrapped her arm around their shoulder. “that’s fine with me, mmm.. could go for some pizza..” she trailed with a grin before grabbing her drink and swishing back a few more swigs. even if the blonde would rather end her night until planet 7s music stopped she knew sparrow wouldn’t have it. she figured she’d avoid making them carry her over their shoulder in a drunken daze, she wasn’t their father. jade bounced on her heels nonetheless, hands waving in the air to the song with a wicked grin on her lips, far too excited about getting sparrow back to her house that she almost didn’t catch the incentive. “oh no brainer... she’s the man, it’s on my coffee table.” she yelled out with a scrunch of her nose.

      𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚.   —   she can’t help but grin with a sense of self-satisfaction, she knows that her little encyclopaedia of knowledge is rather impressive… sometimes bordering on a tiny bit freakish, but what is life without a few quirks?  “i don’t know if that was deserving of a  ‘wow’  - you haven’t seen me at my finest yet,” her laugh tinkles like wind-chimes, the grin is fixed on her face, “but i will certainly take it. i’m no expert, but i’m definitely a ringer in trivia nights.”  her body is half turned towards the blonde, watching her eyes traipse over the pages.   brown eyes follow jade’s movements, a dimple appearing in her cheek and a chuckle bubbling through their lips as the classy blonde gently bumps estella with her elbow.   she follows the others form as she stretches to retrieve a book, like estella has to do all too often, and the smile still playing on her lips before she turns her eyes back to scan the spines of the comics.  “well i hope he does love it,” she replies as she turns herself to fully face jade again with her arm resting on the shelf; “and if he doesn’t, bring it back and i’ll exchange it for you.   no worries at all.”      estella’s soft laugh chases jade’s compliment, causing a slight pink on her cheeks; no one usually enjoys her tangents unless they already enjoyed the world that estella was talking about. “i guess i’m persuasive when i’m passionate-  if you got me talking about my favourites, i’d probably take up your entire lunch break.”     they pause a little at the offer,  ( request? )  and it brings another smile to their lips, cheek dimpling slightly;  “well, how about a drink that could turn into dinner?”

...

estella’s passion mirrored jade’s in regards to true crime and her freakishly obsessive hold she had over the topic. she knew almost every single notorious serial killer, how they were caught and how many victims were under their belt so she could respect the art of knowing everything about what they loved. her lips twist into a grin as she laughs, taking her words in stride. “i shouldn’t be shocked.. if you can rattle that much off about just one guy..” she trailed with a grin as she pushed up on her toes. when estella assures her about the comic she simply shakes her head, holding her hand out to stop her. “i’m sure he’s going to love it.. and i might even flip over a few pages before i wrap it up.” jade winked with a slight bite to her lower lip as she holds the comic to her stomach. her eyes trace along the accents of estella’s features, noting the soft dimple in her cheek at the request to compensate her for her time. jade’s love language consisted mainly of acts of service and even if she’d just met the woman she hadn’t been excluded, she was a naturally giving person. “a drink that could turn into dinner sounds great.” she hums with a grin and a raise of her brow. “what time are you off?” she asks as she looks at her watch then back up at estella. 

          Cyrus is perhaps too tipsy to care about the stain that the drink would leave in his shirt later, and he’s not even sure how he’s managed to keep his shirt on for that long as the heat inside Planet 7 is making him want to crawl out of his skin. He doesn’t fight back as the blonde leads him towards the bar, placing his empty glass on the counter as he hums and tries to remember what he had been drinking, too focused on the music when he had ordered it. “Uh, it had Vodka in it? I think it was a… Hairy Navel.” Cyrus giggles loudly at the name. “Yup, Lord, that was it. I ordered because of the funny name. It was actually pretty damn good and surprisingly not hairy at all.” He explains as he leans against the counter, head tilted to the side while studying the woman. “You really look good, by the way. I’m glad the drink didn’t land on you — would be a shame to ruin that outfit.”

...

jade makes friends far too easy for her own good, she blames it on her excitement once a drop of liquor gets into her system. she gets to a point where everyone around her deserves a shot or a drink on her own tab even if they fight her for it, which most times doesn’t seem to be a problem. tonight is no different and even if cyrus is a familiar face she finds herself far too curious to let him sneak away. she’s thankful he seems to match her energy and she doesn’t need to dull her light as she perches them at the bar and she leans in to catch each word that falls from his lips. “god that sounds awful.. “ jade laughs loud though it’s dimmed by the music. “are you certain that’s what you want?” she asked with a twist of her nose as the bartender comes over. the blonde doesn’t wait for his answer before leaning across the oak slab, arms clinging to the bar. “one mango margarita, sugar on the rim... and a hairy.. hairy navel?” she asks, hoping to god cyrus hadn’t put her up to some sick joke. 

-

“ drivin’ me crazier and crazier by the day , “ he responded , breathing a chuckle at just how well she knew him given their short stint together , if you could even call them ‘ together ‘ . the feeling was strange – there was a silent acknowledgement , a mourning of something that there never was . perhaps that lack of closure was worse than breaking things off officially . times changed ; jade had disappeared and alex had been stationed elsewhere , shipped over state lines and country borders all in order to make a huge circle and end up right back in shitty , dusty new mexico . “ – guys like me should be on the frontline . we should be in with the action , y’know ?? finger on the trigger .. “ his index finger hooked as if poised around the handle of a gun – serving his country was a drug , and protecting ‘ government files ‘ was the cruellest of punishments , the most savage of detoxes . “ oh , no , i want the moore guided tour . i bet you know all the best burger joints and liquor stores this side of texas , “ 

family was a sore subject for the pair of them and it was best left unexplored . the closed off nature of jade when it came to speaking of her mother showed alex that the topic was one that needed to be promptly dropped – call it a fucked-up child’s intuition . he was the same with his father , dodging the subject like the plague , as the only memories he had of the man were hazed with camo and early-morning rises . the falk boys were his father’s soldiers from the moment they came into this world , and alexander was yet to break free from the shackles bestowed upon him at birth . fingers fell from their cocked position and tapped at the sticky table top , “ two drinks comin’ right up . what’s your poison ?? and you better take it easy on those things . you know how we get after one too many . “

...

jade had never been one to hold down anything meaningful in her twenty nine years of life, nothing past her bond with her siblings. she was afraid of the repercussions of relationships and the experience of watching her parents bicker, argue and go at it had been enough to scar her. she’d never been in love, never been on a second date and it’d been her choosing. it was easier that way, keep people at a distance, it wasn’t healthy by any means and she was well aware of that. her eyes flicked back up to alex, tongue poking at her cheek as he spoke, nodding along to his words in interest as he went on about the war, how bored he’d been now. even if the severity was quite different she found herself feeling the same way. “guys like you also need a break.” she broke out, sitting up a bit as she adjusted the strap of her pantsuit. “it’s not good for you, up here.” jade went on, tapping the side of her temple for emphasis. she cracked a smile at his words, leaning her head back as she stared at the ceiling. “crashdown is good, when you’re hammered and don’t care that half your burger is grease..” she added as she looked back down at him, her eyebrow raised. 

she’d been thankful that alex decided not to push forward the topic of why she was here, he’d caught the hint that was glaringly obvious as she tapped her nails against the table. she rarely opened up, walls around her were as high as ever and the only people she trusted with her feelings were also dealing with some of their own. she sucked down the rest of her drink, eager to keep the buzz going and alex seemed to understand that. “let me.. switch to beer.” she pressed as she leaned back against the booth, soft smirk present on her lips at his words. “corona with lime, please.” she chided.