mya

step one: learn the shape of her life without touching it stand close enough to feel chosen but far enough to stay innocent memorize the weight of her shoulder like a song you never sing out loud tell yourself the space between you is holy and holiness means restraint step two: want quietly so it doesn’t count want her laugh when it lands on you want her future because it looks survivable want to be her or inside her or forgiven by her practice shrinking practice loyalty practice smiling like nothing is missing step three: take what is closest her name in someone else’s mouth her life warmed by your hands tell yourself it isn’t theft it’s hunger it’s curiosity it’s an accident carry it with you like a secret that feels better than love ever did step four: learn that goodness does not keep you alive learn how the cold sharpens you how survival asks for things you were raised not to want how some girls are meant to be remembered and some girls are meant to last you have to bend because she couldn’t final step: bury her gently inside your chest inside your body inside the man whos face could never compare swallow the memory every day push it down kneel if you have to pray for the feeling to leave it won’t love doesn’t disappear it waits it reminds it survives you

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