the cosmic wave of rpf

AU where the women in straight porn just grunt and say stuff like "take that big pussy, bitch" while the men scream and moan and convulse and arch their backs while shouting "Oh my god! You're wrecking my dick!"

Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

A laptop is a living creature. It has weight to it. A laptop breathes and produces body heat. And it wants to die badly. Mobile phones are not sentient like that & that's why they don't experience mental illness. A phone problem is like "out of storage :(" or "charging port broke". Laptops will cough weakly as they fade in and out of consciousness

You will hold a laptop in your arms and it's like "I can't feel my legs". And you tell it girl you never had any