* untethered.

the  charity  ball  had  been  something  jungwoo  had  been  looking  forward  to  for  a  while,  a  night  he  could  just  let  loose  &  have  a  blast.  though  that  night  did  NOT  end  how  the  janitor  thought  it  would  have.  he  figured  he’d  be  taking  someone  back  to  his  place,  completely  forgetting  he  was  even  at  the  ball  in  the  first  place  with  them.  but  god,  was  he  wrong.  so  incredibly  so  that  he  almost  can’t  believe  the  events  that  happened  were  real.  him  and  arden  had  gotten  into  an  argument,  though  this  one  was  different  than  their  usual  ones  —  the  atmosphere  was  so  different,  colder  than  usual.  as  was  the  slap  that  she  placed  across  his  cheek,  skin  stinging  almost  immediately  afterwards.  sure,  he’d  been  pushing  the  conversation,  digging  into  her  fake  relationship  &  probably  said  a  few  things  he  should  have.  but  the  sting?  it  was  something  he  never  expected,  something  that  physically  &  emotionally  shocked  him  to  the  point  he  didn’t  even  RESPOND  to  it  —  turning  on  his  heels  in  the  opposite  direction  of  arden’s  figure,  quickly  finding  his  way  back  to  the  open  bar  only  in  an  attempt  to  drown  out  what  had  just  transpired.  it’s  the  reason  he  hasn’t  seen  her  in  almost  a  week  —  the  reason  he’s  chosen  not  to.  countless  text  messages  left  on  read,  even  more  phone  calls  left  to  go  to  voicemail.  he  doesn’t  want  to  talk,  doesn’t  want  to  have  the  conversation  because  he  knows  that  if  he  does,  he’ll  he’d  have  to  admit  to  having  his  feelings  HURT  by  the  action.  not  because  he  didn’t  deserve  it  (  he’s  sure  he  somewhat  did.  )  but  because  it  came  from  her.

six  days  started  to  feel  like  ten,  twenty  —  an  entire  month,  though.  it’s  TERRIFYING  for  jungwoo  to  admit,  but  he  does  miss  having  the  consistency  that  she  provided  even  if  it  wasn’t  really  all  that  consistent  due  to  their  lives  &  the  things  she  had  going  on  in  her  own.  it’s  obvious  that  it’s  effected  him,  though,  slight  bags  under  his  eyes  —  hair  looks  like  it  hasn’t  been  brushed  or  combed  in  those  SIX  days.. old  t-shirt  &  ripped  pair  of  sweats  becoming  jun’s  safe  haven  of  sorts  as  he  locked  himself  within  the  confines  of  his  home.  the  knock  on  the  door  causes  him  to  jolt  in  his  seat,  eyes  darting  from  the  tv  to  the  door  as  he  pulls  himself  of  the  plush  cushions.  truth  be  told,  he  thought  it  was  the  food  he’d  ordered  a  little  while  ago  —  not  giving  it  a  second  of  consideration  as  to  the  fact  that  maybe  it  wasn’t  as  he  threw  the  door  open.  it’s  then  that  he  feels  like  the  air  gets  KNOCKED  out  of  his  lungs,  gaze  dropping  to  her  smaller  frame  with  a  slight  sigh.  "hey.“  he  replies,  brows  knitting  together  for  a  moment  as  he  decides  what  to  do  —  ultimately  pulling  the  door  open  further  so  that  she  could  enter  instead  of  closing  it  once  more.

                  it felt like more than a simple mistake on her part , it felt malignant , it felt like an anger that she hadn’t felt with anyone in years  –  all acted upon in the span of barely thirty - seconds . she asked herself for days if it was truly worth trying to contact him , the question passing through a mind muddled with inebriation & a desperation she couldn’t even begin to explain . but no matter how many times arden seemed to have the same thought , she always found herself being the one repeating the same apology to a voicemail for an automated voice to repeat the same message back every time : voicemail box is full . & considering how much newly found time she had on her hands , it gave her plenty of opportunities to replay the guilt she felt the moment her palm felt the sting of his cheek . more so the moments following with his immediate , wordless departure & her impending breakdown in the privacy of one of the side - rooms  –  one of which sent her home early , offering no explanation on her sudden going . to her , swollen eyes & the barely bleeding crescents of nails pressed to palms were enough .

    BAEK HATED HAVING TO GO OUT because it usually meant he had to take arden with him. not that it should be a problem because who wouldn’t like to have a beautiful girl on their arm ?? baekhyun used to love it, he loved it so much that the facade faded and the line blurred into something more real. but, like everything in his life — it crashed and burned quickly and things changed right back to where they were supposed to be from the beginning — fake. 

it was weird having to pretend that you were in love with your fake girlfriend who was now your real ex girlfriend but it was even worse when the guy she was hooking up with managed to find his way at almost every function they seemed to be at. and this was no exception. some formal charity dinner that arden had snuck away from after making eyes with jun from across the room, leaving baek in his own fucking misery listening to both their families talk and talk and talk. absolutely not happening.

baek gets up from his seat abruptly, not even bothering to excuse himself and makes his way to where the two had snuck off to, luckily finding a closed ( and inconveniently locked ) door. the boy bangs his fist on it, probably alarming the couple on the other side but not caring. “ one of you better fucking open this door and let me in or else, i swear to god. ”  / @oculvs @sybcritics

                  arden knew the moment her parents mentioned a charity event , it would require her attendance  –  her attendance plus baekhyun , that is . a far too similar routine which she didn’t seem to mind considering it gave her the ability to disappear on end without impending questions . in fact, she made sure that jun personally received an invitation to whatever event had the means for an audience . it may have been cruel of her to flaunt a growing relationship in front of someone who had the potential to be more , especially in such a public setting where their love had to be seen as real . playing the part of something she once didn't have to pretend shouldn't be so difficult , but it just felt unnecessary at this point . she never bothered sharing her feelings with baekhyun  --  it's not like their public image was impacted . if only she felt more secure , more wanted , needed , loved when they were together , it may have been different . . . would have been different . 

there’s   hesitance   ,   but  no   real   reluctance  before  he’s  reaching  forth   ,   taking  up  what  she’s  offering  into  his  own  hand   .   he  stares  at  the  colour  contrast  between  his  palm  and  the  pill   ,   before  parting  his  mouth  to  place  it  upon  his  tongue   .   another  second  to  test  his  own  patience  before  he’s  swallowing  it  down   ,   brow   furrowed     —-   he  should  be  more    cautious    ,   but  his  innate  distaste  for  responsibility  has  him   abandoning   inhibitions   .    ‘    how   …   long  does  it  take  to  hit   ?    ’     peering  at  her  through  his  glasses    ,   eyes  filled  with  curiosity    —–    it  feels  strange  to  be  the   student   ,   someone  else  knowing   more   than  him  on  a  subject  that’s  somewhat  related  to  medicine   .    

    ANOTHER SWIFT EYE ROLL before dohyun is taking a puff of his cigarette, his legs crossing over each other as the other speaks. “ if you know so much then why bother asking ?? just like hearing the sound of my voice, huh ?? ” he laughs at himself, always thinking he’s more amusing that he is, but hey — he enjoyed it. dohyun finds himself thinking for a moment, he had somewhat of an idea what was going on in ardens life, letting out a hum as he thought. “ is jun as good at eating you out as i am ?? ” he asks but quickly continues “ or has choi had a mental breakdown yet and begged you to get back together and forced you to cut that off ?? ”

    ARDEN WAS THE CLOSEST that dohyun had to a friend, although he would never admit it. mostly because of their consistent hang outs and the fact that they basically were the same detached person with all the same hobbies. mostly included getting shit faced and having a ton of sex. his eyes roll at her words because he had no interest in talking about who he was having sex with, especially not with her. it’s not that it was a private matter he just didn’t think it was important. “ why do you want to know who i’m sleeping with anyway? ” he asks as he catches her purse, ruffling through it to find the box and a lighter. it takes him a second to take out a stick, place it between his lips and light up, inhaling the smoke for a moment before he tosses the bag back, exhaling as he did so. “ also juuling is fucking lame and some weak shit. i don’t need my nicotine to taste like pineapple or some shit, get the fuck out of here. ” it takes him a moment before he shifts himself so he can reach over and grab his bottle on the table, taking a swig of it. “ if i’m telling you anything about my sex life, you gotta tell me about yours. ”

––––––– 「   xiaosi wasted no time offering his friend an open palm and accepting the pills from her, though a smirk was starting to spread across one side of his lips at her question.  “   if i say no, does that mean you’ll bring anything else ?  ”  his eyebrow raised in curiosity, though his tone was clearly more joking than serious. he glanced back down at the package now grasped in his hand, already assuming that he’d open it with arden at another time anyway.   “   alright, i’ll try not to take anything else then,   ”   he shrugged. normally xiaosi would have a little more hesitation before speaking so openly in the building, but they were the only one’s still there that night  ––  though it didn’t seem like they would be there much longer.   “   where do you want to ditch these then ?  ”   」

                   it’s been six days since she’s truly seen him , six days since receiving a single text , six days since he’s returned one of her many , many phone calls - a lot of which she didn’t truly remember even making . it was her desperate , pathetic attempt to get him to even say a single word to her after the events of the masquerade . & it was during those days where arden kept having to tell herself that this growing attachment of hers could be broken , that it was just another way for her to lessen her bouts of boredom . but she’s become so accustomed to him being a part of her life ; at home , in public , at their place of work , & anything else simply felt … wrong . it's strange , how reliant she's become to jungwoo's presence that even her attempts of taking copious colored pills & emptying liquor bottles didn't seem to do much to ease her worries . yet even she was smart enough to know there had been an underlying reason , one of which she wasn't ready to admit  -  not yet , that is .   --   it was a mistake , a single , momentary relapse of indignation that forced her into an action which sealed itself with unhinged guilt . arden didn't blame him for being upset , no , but more so the anger she felt with herself for allowing her emotions to act on something ; something she promised she would never take part in , something that she told herself would stay a part of the past . but as they say : like father , like daughter . 

‘    …   what  is  that   ?    ’     she  spoke  with  a   promise   of  something   better   ,   something  that’ll  make  things  easier   ;   things  like   talking   to  people   ,   things  like  alleviating  the  pressures  of  his  mind   ,   and  it  would  be  a   lie   to  say  he  wasn’t  intrigued   .   granted   ,   pills  have  never  been  his   forte    —–    so  as  she  presents  one  sitting  almost   pretty   upon  her  dainty  fingertips   ,   all  jaehwan  can  do  is   stare   .   foreign  surroundings   ,   a  friendly  face  he’s  only  familiar  with  on  a   surface   level     —–    but  he’s  all  too   eager   for  a  shortcut  to   euphoria   .

    DOHYUN HAD BEEN DRINKING since the night had started, sometimes running the club was so easy. although, he felt like he had to be there especially the nights when there were men using his basement for some … illicit activities. but, they were good when they brought arden around, someone dohyun felt somewhat comfortable with — someone he would consider a friend. they had been like this for a few years and it didn’t change, especially not when he was sitting in the VIP area of olympus, feet up on one of the couches as the two had one of their nightly talks. “ god, i could use a fucking smoke. you got one ?? ” he asks, cutting off whatever she was talking about now. / @oculvs

*: ･ﾟ∙ * ⁕ “love,  i  am  never  wrong.  you  should  know  this  by  now.”  he  teases  with  a  wink,  grin  pulling  on  the  edges  of  his  lips  as  he  speaks.  "if  i  told  you  about  tonight  you’d  more  than  likely  run  in  the  opposite  direction  and  i’m  not  really  trying  to  show  up  to  this  damn  thing  alone..  so  at  least  let  me  have  that  small  element  of  surprise,  please.“  he  continues  with  a  shrug  of  his  shoulders,  opting  to  unbutton  yet  ANOTHER  button  of  his  silk  shirt  before  his  grin  turns  into  a  devilish  &  overly  mischievous  grin.  "you’ll  see,  love.  nothing  to  be  afraid  of,  that  i  can  promise  you.”  haeil  tells  her  with  a  soft  tone,  lacing  his  fingers  with  hers  to  give  her  hand  a  reassuring  squeeze.  "you  look  great,  darling.  better  than  most  of  the  people  that’ll  be  there..  and  in  a  far  more  sober  state  as  well.  though  that  can  and  probably  will  change  in  a  bit.“  he  giggles,  eyes  lighting  up  as  he  starts  to  pull  her  out  of  the  doorway,  towards  the  uber  that’d  probably  been  sitting  outside  waiting  for  him  to  get  ready  for  god  only  knew  how  long.  (  the  perks  of  telling  your  driver  you’ll  pay  triple  if  they’re  willing  to  wait  for  you.  )  "party  favors  at  these  kinds  of  parties  are  not  anything  materialistic,  arden.  they’re  also  not  required  in  the  slightest.  sure,  if  you  want  to  get  extra  brownie  points  you’re  more  than  welcome  to  bring  something.  hence  the  two  bottles  of  alcohol  that  are  already  there  with  our  names  on  the  'sender’  portion  of  the  tag.”  he  explains  as  they  walk  towards  the  car,  stopping  only  to  pull  the  door  open  &  gesture  for  her  to  enter  the  vehicle  first.  "the  date  was  shitty  because  he  was  boring  as  fuck  to  talk  to,  wanted  to  have  a  full  on  conversation  about  basketball.  do  i  look  like  the  type  to  know  fuck-all  about  that  sport  or  any  other  sport  for  that  matter?“  haeil  starts,  sighing  as  he  sinks  into  the  leather  seat.  "you’re  here  because  we  both  need  some  fun  in  our  lives.  any  other  questions?”