e

i'm choosing to build my basketball team aroubnd my buddy yggroth, who is 15 feet tall and weighs 800kg. he will be in charge of scoring. the rest of us will heal him.

can you put that thing on a fucking leash *pointing angrily at a butterfly with beautiful iridescent wings thats not flying anywhere near you*

scene on the bus from the other day. mom and her son around grade school age with an ipad. they're sharing glances above it, doting and smiling and being really sweet. son turns the ipad to his mom showing what he's smiling at and it's a short video of two monkeys on a living room couch, one in extreme duress because the other one is blowing it around with a leafblower

neanderthals had already recognized how much fun it is to use she her pronouns when talking about spongebob but it took us a little longer for that one

aborted bloke: i would’ve loved to do fuck all

This is poetry. This is storytelling. You can leave the sound off if you want but. Stop. Watch. You surely will not regret doing so.

Aborted obama: I would’ve loved to be clear

opens my wallet and a very large and expensive looking moth flies out of it