Sheer cotton chemise, lace-hemmed drawers, gently pressed against your skin. Silk stockings, of course, pinned up by the corset I'll draw about your waist- not too tightly, I promise!- then petticoat layers in sumptous lace, a bodice to be sure that we mind your modesty. Oh, stop fussing about your figure! We can shape that however you like. Most women do, you know. We've ruffles and gathers to fill out wherever appropriate.

Now, you may choose your favourite colour (within reason). Oh, is that so? Well I've several to match, but this one suits best, don't you think? No, I don't think it's a little much. Rather, layers of satin and crepe-de-chine suit you perfectly. Oh you look simply darling, you do, we're almost done. Silk gloves, for the season, and let me set off your eyes with ribbons in your hair. And perhaps... well, some might consider it a little gauche, but let me tie another around your neck. Perfect. You are simply perfect.

You're obviously a cat. Some feral shorthair.

Don't pretend to bark at me. Meow. Now. Don't tell me puppies don't meow, you're not a dog. You will meow or you'll lose your speaking privileges.

What kind of a sound was that? That's it, you get the muzzle. While I'm at it, you lose your clothes. Don't you fucking whimper, you're a cat your fur will keep you warm.

It's time to harness train you. You've been free far too long. Someone needs to make you into the kitty you are.

There we go, that's a much better purr than last night too, maybe I should knock the wind out of you more often if it'll have this kind of effect

Oh, eww, your hair's all greasy, when's the last time you washed yourself? Two weeks ago? You really think you're being a good kitty for me if you're not grooming yourself? Go get yourself cleaned up right this second or I'm taking you back to the shelter

There we go, don't you feel better all cleaned up for me? Mhmm, kitties aren't going to feel right unless they've groomed themselves

Now, when's the last time you went to the vet? Don't play coy with me. Two years ago?! Jesus, I'm calling them, we're getting you in this week, no I'm not joking. You are almost definitely behind on your shots by now and I will not have you getting sick on me when we can easily prevent it.

Next Tuesday it is, what's got you all teary eyed? Why wouldn't you expect this? Just because you're a pathetic excuse for a cat doesn't mean you're not mine, kitten, you're going to take care of yourself for me, and I'm going to take care of you.

What kind of owner do you take me for?

Like, a lot of us who had traumatic childhoods had our emotional responses beaten out of us. Don't smile, don't raise your voice, don't cry, boys don't do that, don't bounce your knee, why are you doing that it makes you look weird, don't look away, stop doing that, don't make any noises, and stop moving your hands like that.

Gradually, you become a statue. Immaculate in your formlessness, the world unable to touch you. It's awful.

And, it's not like that goes away when you're out of the situation. Learning to emote again is work. Real work. And it's very hard to justify. On some level, hiding yourself so totally is a strength. It's not 'learning how to put on a mask', it's becoming one with the mask. It's useful, or at least you'll notice when it's useful. To emote again in the ways you lost means fighting through years of trauma.

But. You have to understand. Not emoting feels bad.

Have you ever felt really, really sad but been unable to cry? Denied of tears, you want to gouge your eyes out. The catharsis is gone. Your sadness feels less real for it. Inevitably, you seek other ways to reify your emotions.

It's like this for every emotion that was removed from you. All of them not just an absence but a void. A vacuum that demands more and more. Unstable equilibrium. You have to do something about it but the natural outlet is hidden behind the scariest thing in the world.

So, you fantasize. Wings, horns, tails, ears. You'd coil around her to express your desire. Your wings would flap out and show your pride or bend inward hiding you to show your embarrassment. Your horns would be sensitive the way none of your body could be. Your tail would wag or droop or lift. Here, we see a new language to express ourselves, one untainted by the past. Escapism.

Surtr has a weird dream about meeting a cool future version of herself that makes her feel all sorts of things

ok ok, inspired by that ask game, I was talking with n@ and wanted to make my own full of important questions.

What color are your eyes?

Do you like being asked questions?

What’s your lucky number?

When's your birthday?

Do you have any pets?

Do you enjoy what you do with your time?

What's your favorite way to spend a weekend?

Do you like traveling?

Do you struggle with anxiety?

How important is your family to you?

What's your mother's maiden name?

What's the most important lesson that you've learned over the years?

What do you think the purpose of your life is?

What do you wish you had more time to do?

What was the name of the street you grew up on?

How loudly can you scream?

How do you like to stay updated on current events?

Do you have any siblings?

How many people would go looking for you if you suddenly disappeared?

What kind of music do you enjoy?

How fast can you run?

Have you ever had a secret admirer?

What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?

What are you allergic to?

What kinds of food do you like?

What kinds of food remind you of home?

Do you ever cook for yourself?

What food and ingredients do you think a kitchen should be stocked with?

What's your social security number?

What do you do to try to stay active?

Do you enjoy spending time outdoors?

What's your phone's password?

What was your least favorite food as a kid?

How tall are you?

Do you have a favorite sport?

Does white noise help you sleep?

What color is your shirt?

Do you think you could fall in love with your secret admirer?

What's a skill you're proud of?

What position do you sleep in?

Do you sleep near any windows?

Do you keep a spare key outside your door? If so, where do you leave it?

Are you a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper?

When you wake up in the middle of the night, how long does it take you to fall back to sleep?

What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?

What’s the last thing that made you cry?

What are your top five movies that you can watch over and over?

Is there a hobby you’ve always wanted to try?

How well do you handle boredom?

How's your pain tolerance?

Can you do your own laundry?

Are you into bondage?

Have you ever fantasized about being with a secret admirer?

Are you a good liar?

Have you ever been handcuffed before?

Did you grow up in a large house?

What's a topic you always love to talk about?

What part of your body is most sensitive to pain?

What's your phone's operating system?

Do you have any allergies or medical conditions that might cause complications with long term sedation?

How loudly can you scream?

How long would it take for your spirit to break if you were locked in a room with no hope of getting out?

What’s your funniest relationship dealbreaker?

Do you ever think about your beliefs and how they’ve changed over time?

Does your phone have GPS tracking enabled?

How hard is it to get you to consent?

What’s your favorite holiday?

What's your favorite type of pain to receive?

What’s your favorite midnight snack?

Would you rather your secret admirer dressed up or dressed down for when you meet her?

What’s your latest guilty pleasure?

Do you have an oral fixation?

Coffee or tea?

Are you trained in self-defense?

What’s your biggest fear?

Do you have any tips for time management?

What are some difficult lessons you’ve learned from past relationships?

Do you think your face would look good on a missing poster?

If you could live in any movie, which one would it be?

What’s your idea of a perfect vacation?

What’s your go-to karaoke song?

How much pain could you take before you stopped resisting?

What was your first job?

What makes you feel better when you're stressed?

How do you feel about making life-changing decisions on a whim?

What’s one thing you’re deeply passionate about?

What would you choose if you had to choose one meal to eat for the rest of your life?

Do you like meeting new people?

Is there anything you’re afraid you won’t accomplish?

What’s number one on your bucket list?

Does high humidity mess with your skin or hair?

What's the longest amount of time you've spent alone?

Do you believe that negative reinforcement works?

Do you find basements or attics cozier to spend time in?

What's the longest you've gone without eating?

Do you love me?

How much do you love me?

Do you think that love requires sacrifice?

If I kidnapped you and kept you in my basement would you still love me?

"Oh, actually if you ever said no I would've just kept going."