Untitled

You were pulled out of your head when you heard a voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hello? Outer banks banking, this is Veronica speaking. How can I help you?"  The lady's voice on the phone seemed sweet, not like how these other callbacks have been going, where they seemed upset that you even called. So this has to be another good sign, right? 

"Hi, I'm calling to check the status of my application, I mean my interview, sorry." 

"First and last name, please,"  she asked. 

You told her your name, making sure to spell it out for her so there would be no mistake about who was calling, just in case. 

"Ok, give me a couple of seconds". You didn't even get to say thank you, as she immediately clicked a button, putting you on hold after she finished speaking. 

While you were waiting for the lady to get back to you, JJ had walked into the apartment. He was holding a bunch of bags of food up to his neck. He struggled to push the door open while trying to balance all the food and carry the drinks.

You rushed over to help him, taking the drinks out of his hand, then a bag of food. 

"Why so much food? It's just the two of us." 

"I was feeling extra hungry today, plus we're still celebrating the job." 

You had placed the food and drinks on the counter, and you glanced over at him to see him giving you back that stupid smile, a smile that you had grown to find comfort in. 

You had begun unpacking the food, and to say it was a lot wasn't even close.

You look up at him and motion to all the food now spread out on the counter, 

"What?" 

"JJ, this is a lot of food, most of this is going to go to waste even if we eat it for a week straight. I—"

"Hello, Ma'ma, are you here? " 

Your head snapped over to the sink, where you had put down your phone earlier to help JJ with the food. 

JJ's eyes widened as he began to take steps away from the phone as if it were a bomb. 

"Who's that?" he whispered.

"It's the lady from the bank telling me if I got the job." 

"Ohhh," he nodded, taking in the information, then reached out to open one of the boxes and grab a slice of pizza. He leaned against the counter comfortably as he started eating his food. 

"JJ!" You tried to say his name as loud as possible while trying to be as quiet as possible 

"What?" he asked as he looked around the room, frantically like someone had just broken 

"Hand me the phone," you asked, holding your hand out. He was a lot closer than you, and you couldn't reach it from where you were standing. 

"Yeah, sorry, sorry," he said, trying to reach for the phone. But when his greasy fingers tried to grab it, it slipped from his fingers and fell straight into the sink. 

Before you decided to call, you had run the water, filling up the sink to let some dishes soak. . . 

"JJ!" You ran over to sink to try to grab your phone, but JJ had beaten you to it

"Ah—fuck I'm sorry," he kept repeating, reaching into the sink with the same hand he had used to hold his pizza to try to grab your phone. He dropped the pizza into the water, then quickly pulled out your phone. 

He instantly wrapped your phone in a drying towel, gently blowing on it as he wiped away all the water. 

"H-h-he-llo," the lady's voice came through, gargled as she spoke. 

You took your phone from JJ's hand, shaking it around to dry it quickly and get all the water out. 

"Yes, hello? Can you hear me?" you yelled into your phone. 

"Y-yes" 

Relief flooded through your body. 

"Good, Good, so, um, did you get an answer as far as if I got the job or not?" You turned around to see JJ putting his hand back into the water, fishing around for something, and sadly, it was the pizza. You felt bile rise in your throat, but you quickly swallowed it after seeing him take a bite. 

You turned your attention back to the woman after hearing her start to speak again on the phone; her words came out clearer than ever. "Yes... and we regret to inform you that we won't be continuing with hiring you. You were an excellent candidate, but our higher-ups preferred that we hire someone with at least a bachelor's degree. I hope you understand." 

"Yeah, I understand, thank you." You hung up the phone, tossing it onto the counter as you made your way back to the food. 

"Ah man— don't take this too hard, I'm positive that there's a job out here that would hire you in a heartbeat. You just have to keep looking" 

Although he was trying to be positive and keep your spirits up, you couldn't help but get slightly upset with him. You didn't mean to, but you took your frustration out on him. 

"You don't think I've tried, JJ?" he went to speak, but you cut him off before he had the chance. "I've applied for every fucking job, JJ. It's either everyone's hiring, but when you call, they're not actually hiring. I've even applied to fucking McDonald's, ok. If not, I either lack the qualifications for the job or require at least a year of experience. This town is just full of shit, along with everyone who lives here." 

That last sentence had left your mouth before you could've even stopped yourself.  Your hand flew to cover your mouth as if you were trying to keep yourself from saying anything else you would regret. 

You were scared to meet his eyes, but when you did, you saw that they had begun to gloss over. You tried to reach out towards him, but he moved away from you before you even got close. 

"JJ, I'm s-so sorry, you know I didn't mean that, I'm just so upset. I'm sorry I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you." 

He didn't say anything; he just nodded his head as he backed away from you. You tried to reach out to him again, but he completely turned away from you this time, walking towards the door.

"JJ, I'm sorry." 

"Nah, it's fine. I just left a bag downstairs on the bike. I think it's about to rain, so  I should go get it." 

Before you could try to apologize again, he was out the door, slamming it behind him. 

"Fuck, fuck fuck” you whispered to yourself as you went and put your shoes on and snatched a hoodie off the coat rack. You opened the door and raced out after him. You dashed down the hall and burst through the door to go down the stairs. You flew down the stairs as you raced to catch him before he left. 

As you hand inched towards the door that led to the parking lot, you heard an engine come to life and the sound of a tire beating the pavement beneath it. 

You swing open the door and run out towards him, only to see him ride off in the distance. 

"JJ!" You tried to call after him, but the sound of his bidet bike and the rain that had started earlier than expected were fighting against you. 

You stood watching him ride off until you could no longer see him. 

You scream out towards the sky, you had fucked up. You truly hadn't meant what you said; you were upset and tired, and he was there. It was wrong, no doubt. You're not about to argue with me, but you know that you would be sick, maybe even suicidal, if anything happened to JJ because of you. If he got into an accident on his bike because of what you just said to him. 

You reached into your pockets, fishing around, and your hand lit on a sign of relief when you felt the cold metal of your keys resting in them. You knew JJ wouldn't ride around in this weather for long, so you decided to go looking for him. 

He's wound up at a bar that will accept him, which is very few in this town, so thankfully, your list of places to check is low. 

You pull your keys out of your pocket and head over to your car, which JJ had bought for you. This is another reason the need to pay him back feels so strong. It wasn't a new car, but it ran and everything worked. It was a 1995 Bug car, a Volkswagen. 

You inserted the key into the lock, turned it, and then pulled the door open. You quickly got in, shutting the door behind you, and put the key into the ignition, feeling the car roar to life beneath you. 

You hugged yourself as you began to shiver; you were soaked from head to toe from standing in the rain for so long. You turned the heat on, only to remember that it didn't work. 

Everything in the car worked, but heating wasn't on your list, considering even the lowest temps in OBX were still warm. 

You pulled the gear down and drove off in search of JJ. 

You drove around, stopping at all the bars you thought would let him drink, but you turned up empty. So, you decided to drive to all the bars that generally wouldn't accept him or you knew to be his least favorite. 

You were on your 6th bar of the night, and when you pulled up, you saw his red and black dirt bike sitting in the lot. You quickly pulled into the lot and parked next to the bike. You rushed in, you glanced around the room. 

You had never been to this bar before, but you just knew that they had kicked JJ out of here once or twice. You remember him telling you a story about how he took on two security guards all by himself, he knocked them out and everything with just one punch. You're sure that if you asked around, the story would change quickly, but you couldn't care less. 

You didn't see JJ, and the place wasn't packed. There were only about 4 people in here, including the bartender. The place looked nice, though. It was a bar, and from the looks of it, maybe a strip club; there were poles littered throughout the room. All the hairs had been positioned to face the main stage, where there was a large pole that went all the way up to the ceiling. 

There's no way that JJ isn't here, that was clearly his bike outside, so where on earth could he have gone? 

You slowly woke up to the bartender as you pulled out your phone and scrolled through your camera roll until you found a picture of JJ. 

"Hi, excuse me, miss—"you began, but were cut off by the lady who gave you a once-over before passing a flyer over to you. 

"  You're early, and a bit undressed if you ask me."  You glanced down at yourself. You had shorts on with Crocs and JJ's jacket, which was a bit oversized on you and fell to the end of your shorts. 

You looked back up to try to ask about JJ again, "What, I'm here for —" 

"The auditions right? for the new dancer? Yeah, there later tonight around 10:30, it's an audience audition, they get to choose who gets hired." 

You reached for the flyer hesitantly, making up your mind in the seconds it took to grab the papers. '

You take the paper out of her hand and glance over it quickly, as she had said. It's an open audition; the audience gets to choose. There will be three winners, each guaranteed employment. First place wins $1000, second place wins $500, and third place wins $300. 

You decided to fold the paper up in your packet and get back to the task at hand. You held out your phone to her face. You watched her take a quick glance over, first in confusion, then what looked to be annoyance, as she pulled back away from the phone and rolled her eyes. 

"What about him?" She asked 

"Have you see him" 

"Have I, the whole bar, seen him. He came in half drunk, sat down, and ordered three beers all at once, chugging them down within minutes, one after another. I told him to slow down, but he just kept going, he got so drunk so quickly. I asked him to leave and just pay for his tab. He's being really frank; he handed me his ID instead of his credit card. He's the real ID, not the fake one he gave the bouncer. So I called the guards over to take him out, and when he put up a fight." 

You just stared at her with wide eyes, your mouth slightly open in pure shock. 

You couldn't believe he had gotten drunk that quick, that all of this had happened that quick. 

You began to nod your head slowly as you processed the information. "Ok, Ok," you whispered to yourself, then turned your attention back to the bartender. You did a quick glance down at her name tag, 'Suga', obviously not her real name, but you just went with it.

"Ok, Suga, um, do you mind telling me where he's at now?"

"Yeah, with Shoupe." You fall back, taking a deep breath. Your hand slams against the counter, a desperate attempt to release your frustration. 

"Ok, thank you," you muttered out.

You walk out of the bar and head back to your car. As you step out, the sun's heat greets you, warming your skin as you make your way to your car. 

You slam your door shut behind you, your head slams against the wall, and you sit there trying to calm down. 

It's not that deep, sure, but it is at the same time. 

Part of you is mad at JJ for causing such a ruckus, and another part of you is mad at yourself for being the cause of it all. 

You reach into your pocket to pull out your keys, put them in the engine, and take off as soon as it starts. 

In all your time living with JJ, you've never had to pick him up from the police station. He had turned a new leaf, he said. He hasn't seen the inside of a jail cell since he returned with the gold. "No need," he said. "He has everything he needs, no reason to step, fight, or do anything." And if he did, he could pay someone else to do it for him if he wanted, the key word being "if he wanted," because, as you have come to learn, he prefers to get in the paint himself. 

You pulled up outside, parking right in front of the police station. You got out and ran up the steps, deciding it was time to confront your big sister. You went in yelling at the top of your lungs. 

"Where's my brother at!" You yanked the door open, causing it to slam against the wall, your face scrunched up in horror as you head whips around to see the door, which you had thought you had broken the glass. 

Once you see it's still intact, you decide to continue with your skit "Where is he? I know he's here, SHOUPE! You have him here illegally, ok, I know our right, ok, he's a minor, you can't have him here without contacting a legal guardian." 

You glance around the room, and every officer has paused their activities to give you a confused look. That was when the door at the end opened and the very man you were looking for walked out. 

You smiled and opened your mouth, ready to go off again, but Shoupe wasn't having any of that. "Ah— shut up, now who's your brother?" 

You weren't surprised that he didn't know JJ was your brother, honestly. No one in town knew, to your knowledge. It wasn't like JJ was keeping you a secret or anything. You two mostly just hung out with him and rarely went out together. You hadn't made any friends in town yet.  He says his friends you haven't met yet are all too busy, and his girlfriend, Kie, is too busy saving the turtles or something. 

"JJ, JJ,"Maybank, you responded to him proudly. 

"JJ? JJ Maybank is your brother." 

"Yep," You said, putting an emphasis on the p 

"Huh," he didn't say anymore, he just looked at you once over, then walked towards you.

Feeling some sort of victory you smiled at him as he walked towards you, you held out your hand to greet him properly, the smile on your face dropped, and was replaced with a look of pure horror as the hand you had reached out with now had a new accessory added to it, a shiny new pair of handcuffs. 

"I— WH— I" You stuttered out of the water, confused and scared to form a coherent sentence. 

"You can't come into my station making all that noise and think I won't put you in a cell right next to your brother", Shoupe said as he dragged you through the station until you reached the back of the station, where the jail cells were. 

He was blocking your view when you first entered, but he stepped aside to unlock the cell, giving you a clear sight of JJ, who had been lying down on the bench. 

JJ had sat up once he heard the gate get pulled back. He looked at Shoupe in a daze.

"That time already?" JJ asked 

"Nah, decided to keep the family together, maybe reflecting together, y'all two can figure out how to not disrupt the peace."

JJ cocked his head to the side as he looked at him with confusion, but that ashen once Shoupe had moved to the side to uncuff your wrist before pushing you inside the jail.

You glanced up at JJ, who was sitting there staring. You jumped slightly when Shoupe slammed the door cells closed, your anxiety getting to you, feverish about how the conversation was about to go. 

"I'm sorry, JJ, didn't mean I let my feelings about how life is going take over. I love you, you know. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."  You rushed out, scared that he would cut you off at any moment to tell you he didn't care. 

You looked at him, waiting for him to speak. He just stared back at you as if he was thinking deeply about something. Then, finally, after what felt like eternity, he said something, "That was you, out there screaming about" he paused and let out a chuckle, "your brother?" 

"Yeahhhh, and Little did I know Shoupe doesn't play" 

"At all," JJ quickly added, causing you to laugh, which must've triggered something in JJ, because, yawn, he followed your laugh with his own.

You had moved to sit next to him, "How long are we going to be sitting in here? Do we need to call someone to bail us out?" You asked, unsure who you would call, but knew that JJ had a couple of people he could call

"Nahhh, he always just leaves people in here for a few hours to sober up and 'think about their action' then lets them out with a small fine. You small town perks

The mention of the words small town had caused you to open your mouth, ready to spill another apology, "JJ, I really am—"

"Sorry, I know." he stopped you before you could even start up again. "Don't worry about it, we all say things we regret. And think about it like this, we're just catching up on years of missed sibling fights, one down, a million to go." You laughed at his response 

"Ok, a million though" 

"at least" 

He slid down the bench a bit and then pushed your shoulder against the wall, causing you to sit back. He then rested his head in your lap, getting comfortable. 

You were taken aback at first, but then started to run your hands through his hair.

"These beers ain't settling right with me," he whispered out as he closed his eyes and got comfortable. 

"Day drinking would do that to you," you joked as you continued to run your hands through his hair, 

You stayed like this, playing in his hair, until he fell asleep, and even after watching over him as he slept. 

* * *

You glanced at yourself in the mirror, you eyes scanning over every inch of your body to make sure you looked fine and nothing was out of places, think you heard a noise you quickly close your trench coat up and open the door to your bedroom slight to take a peak out, you glance over to the living room to see the tv light still lighting up the room and sound still up high. 

You push up off the ground to stand on your toes, trying to see if JJ is still on the couch. Your eyes land on his face, and you see him exactly where you left him after the movie you two watched after getting out of jail. He was still slumped on the couch, knocked out, asleep. 

You move back into your room making sure to close the door softly. 

You got back over to the mirror to give you outfit a look over once more, you didn't have any like 'outfits' that could be used for dancing only just some old lingerie, it was nothing much just a pair of sticking that had truffles at the end, they came up over the knee and was kept in place with a garter belt, black black underwear to match with a lace bra to top it off. You went heavy on the makeup, aiming for a dark, sultry look. 

You looked good; seeing yourself like this was overwhelming, and what you were about to do was even more so. But you needed a job, and at this point, this seems like the only way. 

You closed up your coat, tying it into a bow, then grabbed your purse and phone to head out. You had your heels in your hand, planning on putting them on once you got to the club, and opted for some Crocs instead. 

You slowly opened your door and walked out, carefully placing your feet on the ground to make as little noise as possible. 

You closed the door as soft as you could and walked towards the front of the door, as careful as you could you slide the chain off the door and unlocked both the top and bottom lock, just as you had wrapped your hands around the door robbed and began to twist it you heels slipped from you other and fell straight to the floor. 

Your head snaps over to look at JJ on the couch; you stop breathing, as if it would add to the noise being made and somehow wake him up.

You waited and watched him to see if he would get up and move, but thankfully, he didn't even move an inch. 

You took a breath as you bent down to pick up your heels. You hugged your heels closer to your chest, pulled the door open a little more, and stepped out. Turning around to close the door, you gave JJ one more look over before closing it entirely and locking it. 

You pulled out your phone and glanced down at the time; it was 10:15. You needed to hurry, as the contest started at 10:30. You ran over to the door and down the steps so fast that you began to question whether you should've done track in high school. 

You ran out to your car, hopped in, and took off. You reached the club, barely parking your car, and rushed inside. However, unlike last time, you were greeted by security, who stopped you from entering. 

You glanced up to look at two beefy men; they had more than a foot on you, it seemed. They both had low cuts, with plain black skirts and dress pants, both having some type of wire hanging from their ear. 

"Private event, sorry, come back tomorrow," one of them said to you. You were confused, though, because you could've sworn the auctions were scheduled for today. 

"But I have this flyer that says," you started, digging around in your purse for the flyer you had put in there earlier. "  Could've sworn that," you led off, continuing to search for the flyer, but couldn't seem to find it. 

"Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," the other had said as he started to move towards you and put his hand against your lower abdomen to encourage you to move along. 

"But I — "you started to plead with the man, but someone came to your rescue. 

"It's cool she's with me," you heard a voice say from behind the bartenders. They had parted from each other like the Red Sea, allowing you to see who shared the same trait. It was the woman from earlier, Suga, the bartender. 

"I'm with her," you whisper, smiling as you squeeze through the crowd, men walking up to her with a big smile on your face. 

"I thought you were here earlier to audition," she asked with a smile on her face.

"  Changed my mind," you said, shrugging your shoulders.

"And your outfit," she remarked as she glanced over your clothes or lack of 

"Come with me, I'll show you to the lockers and then get you signed up. There's a total of 10 girls auditioning today, so good luck." 

"Thank you," you whispered out. 

She led you into the club which now that it was night had a different vibe to it, it was more intimate to it, the light had been dimmed almost to the point that made it hard to see, thank goodness for the floor lights which helped you see where you were going. The LED and strobe lights flashed through the club, but it wasn't the same as the club. The lights moved slowly, dancing gracefully around. 

Music was playing, but not twerk music; instead, it was slow vibes, a sexual song with undertones of R&B, Hip-hop, and pop. It was a vibe for sure, but you were unsure if you could easily get behind it. 

You followed Suga all the way to the back of the room. As you followed her, you could see a diverse crowd of people watching, including men of all ages. So, it looks like they just stepped off a private plane, while others look like their wives have given them a hall pass tonight. Some of these kids look like they just stopped getting breastfed. 

 You walked into the back, which was basic. The room featured a couple of vanities against the wall, benches throughout, an abundance of mirrors, and several lockers. 

Suga walked up to a locker, making sure it was clean, then turned towards you. "You can't put yourself in here, there's extra locks over there, if you leave it unlocked, knowing these broken bicycles they will take it," she spoke so casually, like she wasn't scared who heard her. 

"Ok shut up Suga, no ones stealing shit," you heard one of the dancer yell from across the room you glanced over to see a pretty women, she was older than you, you didn't know by how much but she had this look in her eyes like she had been doing this for years and was tired of it. 

"Suck my left tit, Diamond, if no one's stealing shit then where did my AirPods go? Huh, I left them behind the bar, and then the next thing I knew, they were gone." Suga glanced around the room as she spoke, her tone never changing, and she never stuttered. The way she stood was like she was waiting for anyone to talk back, for anyone to say something to her, but no one spoke. 

"You good, doll?" Suga asked you

You just nodded your head back to her; you didn't trust yourself to speak. You might have told her no, but you wanted to go home and crawl into bed with your mom. But she wasn't there. It was time for you to grow up and do things that might be uncomfortable. 

She gave you a tight smile and walked back to the bar, as you had assumed, but she made sure to flip off the girl from earlier as she did. 

You went over to the table, grabbed a lock, and then headed back to the locker. You slipped off your Crocs, placed them in your grab purse and keys. 

You sat down on the bench and started to put on your heels. After buckling the last one, you stood up and walked around, trying to get comfortable in them. You don't have much experience walking in heels, and the little you do have is in shorter heels than these. 

"Right, ladies, it's show time." A bald man walked into the dressing room, clipboard in hand, headset on. You'd swear this wasn't a strip club if you didn't know better; everyone looks like they're getting ready for a play or something. 

He had started reading names off the clipboard and lining them up in order, his foot tapping against the floor fast, waiting for him to call your name. 

After all the girls were called, he turned and pointed towards you, "Suga said you were here but didn't give me a name, sweetheart, what's your name?" He asked 

You told him your name and waited as he wrote it down. Then, he gave you a number, positioning you behind all the other ladies. 

"Ok, so does everyone know the rules?" he asked, and everyone nodded in unison. "Good, because I wasn't going to repeat them. Now I'm going to pass the clipboard down and y'all write the song that you want the DJ to play, remember ladies sex sales."

He handed the clipboard to the first girl in line, and they all signed it as soon as it touched their hands. They all knew exactly what song they wanted to do. Before coming out of your element, you had watched a million TikToks and tried to practice what you saw to the best of your ability. Picking a song that could help you lock in and feel sexy at the same time isn't even something that you thought about; you had just assumed that the DJ would choose the song. 

When the clip board got passed back to your hand started to move before you had even made up your mind, you wrote Me U and Hennessy by Dej Loaf, You handed the clip board back to him, he took a look over quickly then instructed you and the girls to follow him outside of the room, he lead you down the hall towards the back of the stage, you tried to get a pick. Still, you couldn't cause so many people to stand in front of you. 

"Ok, ladies, show time!" the guy screamed, then walked up to the DJ, handing him the clipboard. The DJ started turning on his mic, which caused a little feedback when it first came on, making you cover your ears for a second. 

"Sorry about that, welcome to the Stage Diamond, she may not be as expensive as a real Diamond, but she sure is a Beauty." No one cheered as she walked on the stage, or maybe the music was too loud for you to hear anything. 

Her song started and ended just as quick, or maybe you were just in your head going over the moves you saw on TikTok over and over again, because next thing you knew, the girl in front of you had her name called and she went onto the stage. 

Now that you were so close, you were able to see a bit through the curtain and get a good look at the audience. There were a lot of people sitting there, still looking like the same group of men you saw earlier. The stage lights had all been pointed at the pole, still dim, but the stage was the most lit-up place in the room. 

You stepped back from the curtain and began taking deep breaths. You didn't have stage fright; you just didn't want to stand in front of a large group of people, especially not like this. You would rather give a speech on a topic you didn't know than try to be sexy in front of a bunch of men for money. This may be a bad idea. You were thinking of turning around when a voice pulled you from your thoughts. 

"What's your name going to be, sweetheart?" asked the DJ 

"What?" You were confused and honestly a little out of it, feeling the anxiety start to take over 

"Your stage name, you know, so that these creeps can't find you if you use your real name, equals something simple and sweet, sexy even." 

"Umm," you tried to think of something cute and sexy to come up with, something that would get people excited if they heard the name over the intercom, but all that kept popping into your head was Bonnie from Bonnie and Clyde. 

Earlier, the movie you and JJ finished watching was Bonnie and Clyde, a classic Western film about a notorious couple who robbed banks. 

You laughed to yourself as you thought about it: in a way, you were going to rob these men of their money.

"Bonnie, my name's Bonnie, like Bonnie and Clyde," you said, hoping it would come off as good as it sounded in your head. 

The DJ just nodded back and started to play the next track. 

"Gentlemen, give it up for Bonnie, this sweet thing over her is looking for her other half, so if you think you can be her Clyde, you better get ready for a crazy ride in every way." 

You didn't know you would be going up so soon. You were about to turn around when the manager from earlier pushed you through the curtains. Your hand flew up to protect yourself as the lights shone in your face. 

You took baby steps forward, walking towards the pole, and took in the room. It was hard to see anyone's face because all the light was directed towards you, and the area where they sat was dim, but you could make out one face in the crowd of faceless men. 

He was a young guy, maybe around your age. He had a buzz cut and looked out of place here. He looked like he'd just gotten access to his trust fund and decided to blow it in the club.

Either way, he was fine, really fine. 

When you were younger and had a speech to give, you would always lock eyes with the person you were closest to in the room and look at them the whole time, as if you two were the only ones in the room, and you were giving a presentation to them. 

Since he was the only one in the room you could really see, you could focus your attention on him. Plus, it helps that since you've walked on this stage, his eyes have been locked on you. 

You finally reach the pole, raising your arm, and wrapping your finger around the metal pole. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. 

You're no stranger to making your hips move in circles, you've partied, you've been the center of attention, shit, you've basically been giving people free shows up to this point, you know how to bounce those titties and shake that ass. 

You got this.

You opened your eyes and turned towards the DJ, signaling him to start your song. As you turned back towards the crowd, you found them sane eyes staring at you. From that moment on, you made sure to never leave them again. 

Your body swayed against the pole as you let the rhythm run through your bones; you dragged your feet along the floor as you walked around the pole. 

Your hand grip tighten on pole as you pulled yourself up slight and did quick spin around the pole, when your feet touched the ground again you spent around the pole once more before hooking your leg around the pole and kicking off with your other leg to spin backwards, your other griped the top of the pole, you body completely off the ground now, you legs making a triaged around the pole you spinning slowly backwards and you slowly fall to the ground.

Once your knees touch the ground you let go of the pole getting on all fours and crawled towards the edge of the stage, you eyes finding his again as you reached out towards him with you chest pressed to the floor and arch in your back, preparing your ass up in the sky you parted your legs a bit so it would be easier to shake your ass you pop your ass on beat as try to look as sexy as possible. 

You then drag your hand against the floor as you prop yourself up on your knees, your hand running up slowly, run your hand up between your legs, then up your stomach, not stopping till you reach your throat. 

Your fingers wrap around your throat a bit, choking you a bit as you begin to bounce up and down. 

You then slowly slide onto your back till you lay flat, you stick your legs up straight up in the air, you open your legs slowly into a split, ticking like a clock once your legs touch the floor you close them quick then do the action over again faster and faster each time making sure to give yourself a quick pat in-between your legs before closing them. 

The event happened in a blur. One second, you were on the floor, shaking your legs in the air as you lay on your back, and the next, you were giving the crowd a kiss as you walked towards the back, behind the curtains. 

You didn't even get a second to process what had just happened and catch your breath when Suga walked up to you.

"Not a stripper, you say, then what was that?" You could hear the honor in her voice as she spoke. 

You were about to say you weren't when the manager from earlier came out and started yelling at you and the girls.

"Ladies, everyone back on. The votes are in." 

You whipped your head towards Suga. 

"Already," you asked, and she just shrugged, giving you a slight push towards the stage. 

Once you got back out there, further to the end trying to stay in your original lineup, the DJ turned down the music and cleared his throat before speaking.

"Ok, ladies, thank you all. You all did an amazing job, but there can only be three winners, so let's get to it. Coming in third is Mrs.Cherry," the girls cheered, but the crowd stayed silent. We all gathered around her as she approached the manger guy, who took her money and some flowers. 

"Next in second place is . . . Bonnie," cheers followed his announcement. Everyone clapped but you.

You had heard the DJ, but it took a second to reregister. You had won $500, and not only that, but you had a job lined up. You were going to be employed. 

You stood in your spot until the girls stopped clapping and pushed you up to the front. Then, the manager grabbed onto you, pulling you the rest of the way. He handed you some money and a bouquet of flowers. 

"In the first place is, you know her and love her Diamond" this time, you actually heard a couple of men in the audience clap along with the other ladies on stage, she came up like she had won a parent, she waved her hand and smiled taking the flower and gave out kisses and thanks you. She really knows how to work with a crowd. 

You decided to blow out a couple of kisses to, wanted you secret admire to get the first kiss you turned towards where you had saw him but your surprise he was no longer =, brushing it off you gave the rest of the crowd some kisses till the manger guy ushered you off stage and to an office in the back. 

"Ok, ladies, we have some paperwork to go over before you can get started, well, that is everyone except you," he said as he pointed his finger in your direction. You glanced around the room, making sure to check behind you, before you asked him, "Me?" You questioned

"Yes one of our top customers have requested a private dance with you know immediate, they pay big money so they get what they want, now the private rooms are straight down and to the left, he's in room number three"

You stood there just looking at him till he yelled at you, "Baby, what are you doing? Go! He's waiting." 

You turned around and left the room, heading down towards the private rooms. They weren't hard to find, since this place wasn't that big. You stood in front of the room, which was covered with a big curtain. 

Okay, money was being made, you told yourself, trying to hype yourself to face whatever kind of man was behind this curtain. 

Before you could back out and run away you pushed through the curtains, the room was cute, it was lit up with led lights on the ceiling, which painted the room a hot pink color, in the middle of the room stood a pole, and there was plant covering the wall with a mirror on the wall sight across from you. 

Slowly, you turned your head to see, to your surprise and relief, the man from earlier. 

You smiled at him sweetly, which didn't require any acting because you were truly happy to see that it was him in this room waiting for you. Plus, the room's better lighting allowed you to see his face even more clearly, and man, is he even finer up close. 

"Hi," your voice came out small, you were a bit shy in his presence.

"Come here," his voice was low as he spoke, it wasn't a question, he was telling you, and you listened. Your feet moved before he even finished the words.

You tried to walk over to him slowly. You made sure to add an extra sway to your hips as you did. Once you reached him, you stood right in front of him, awaiting your next command. 

"Sit," he said as he patted his lap, 

Like a dog you listened, you climbed onto this lap resting a thigh on each side of his leg, you were hesitant to fully sit on him at first, maybe seeing you hesitancy or maybe he just wanted you closer, he placed his hand cupped your ass pulling you in closer as he pushed you down hard against his lap. 

"What's your name?" He asked as he reached up to cup your face in his hand, his thumb brushing your cheek. 

You're unsure of the rules, but you're sure that this isn't allowed. There must be a boundary, not just what the club sets with its customers, but also what you set with yourself. 

But still, you didn't move away from his face; instead, you leaned in closer, placing your hand on top of his. You sat up a bit, moving your legs to sit closer to him. You were already close, but you wanted to be even closer. You had an urge to feel his breath on your face.

My name is — you paused for a second day one and you already breaking the room not only with the touch but you almost told him your real name, you cleared your throat in an attempt to get the raspyness out of it as you woke again "my name is Bonnie" you tried your best to sound seductive as you spoke.

"Bonnie," he repeated, moving his hand away from your cheek and rubbing his thumb across your lips.

"Let me guess that makes me Clyde."  

You laughed at this, reaching up to grab his hand away from your face as you did so, "I don't think you're ready to be my ride or die" 

He sat up a bit, grabbing your lower back for stability as he did, but that also caused you to arch your back, moving in closer to him, 

His eyes lock in with them and travel down to your lips, lingering there for a second, then back up to your eyes. 

His voice dropped as he spoke. You know you don't, this man, but the following words that came out of his mouth, he said so much, instancing you just knew he wasn't lying. 

"I'll be whatever you need me to be." 

You opened your mouth and closed it repeatedly like a  fish struggling to find the words that would follow to they, you shook you head as you locked back in, you hand ran up his stomach slowly you drag it digging your nail into him slightly as you did, just enough for him to like the pain but not be overwhelmed by it, you hands inch up slowly till they reached their destination,

Your hands lingered around his chest for a second before you wrapped your hands around his throat. You gave him a slight squeeze, holding him in place. Your hand raised up, but never left his throat. 

"Ok, baby, how about we start with a name?"

"You wanted to know my name," he teased as he tried to get closer to you, but you kept your hand on his thorax, firm, keeping him in still.

"What else am I supposed to scream later?" you teased back, trying to play his game. 

He chuckled; you could feel the vibration of his laugh through your hand. It traveled right up your arm and down to your core.

Even though he barely sleeps, he's always the first to get up when Ruby cries in the middle of the night. He always makes sure to get her before you, even when you protest; he never listens. He wants to be the one to hold her and rock her back to sleep. 

Sometimes you go back to sleep, other times you stay up and watch them, it's always an interesting sight to see. This big, bad man is holding this tiny baby, trying to be as gentle as possible, always whispering sweet nothings in her ear. 

You even catch yourself trying to stay awake sometimes to catch him, so you could have a conversation. You hate that you do that, but you miss him and you hate yourself for that even more. 

You hate the way you two are now, never speaking to one another, barely seeing each other in passing. You missed how you used to be around each other, how you used to talk to each other. 

That may be why, sometimes after he puts Ruby back down, you try to have a conversation with him, asking questions about his day and how he's doing. 

Like tonight, he had just played Ruby back down and slid in right next to you. You were facing the children, but then you turned around to face him.

He ignored you and wrapped an arm around your waist, trying to go back to sleep. You didn't say anything; you just stared at him until he opened his eyes again and acknowledged you. 

He looked a little irritated but waited for you to ask him your silly questions, nevertheless. 

"How was your day?"

"Good"

"How are you? Feeling better?"

"Ya"

"How's the business?"

"Better"

"How was the dinner I made/"

"Amazing"

"I felt like it was too salty, I think—" 

"It was good, let's sleep now, ok?"

He didn't wait for you to respond; instead, he turned you around and pulled you close to his chest, snuggling his head between your shoulders. 

Everything happens so fast that you don't even get a chance to protest, but you decide to go to sleep because you know he needs it. 

* * *

At first, you thought it was something happening in your dream, but after the second slap, you popped up from your sleep. You turn your head to the person who slapped you awake, ready to go off. As soon as you opened your mouth, Tommy immediately slapped his hand over your mouth. Again, you get ready to yell at him, but stop once you see his gun in his other hand. 

"Tommy, what's going on?" Your voice shook as you tried to be as quiet as possible. 

Tommy was about to answer, but the intruder downstairs answered for him. 

"You search down here,  I'm going to look upstairs"

You're about to throw up, 

You quickly glance around the room searching for the trash can, you bring your hand up to your mouth as you feel yourself start to gag. That's when Tommy grabs you by the shoulder and gives you a gentle shake to help you focus. 

He brings his hands up to his lips. You slowly nod and wait for him to tell you your next moves. 

He points at you, then at the kids lying between you, and then points towards the closet. You quickly nodded your head, letting him know you understood. You quickly grabbed the kids and headed towards the closet, setting them down carefully, furthest back in the closet. You're just happy that both kids have a cold and took medicine to help them sleep, so they're out cold. You close the door softly, trying not to make a sound. As you do, you see Tommy slowly leave the room. 

It's not long before you're sitting in pitch darkness, hearing the sounds of struggle. The sound alone is enough to make you wonder who's winning. 

You jumped back and covered your mouth when you heard the gun go off, then again when it went off a second time seconds later. 

It was quite 

Too quite 

You felt dread fill your body. 

You can't recall another time you have ever felt so sacred in your life. 

You start to panic, but you try to keep it quiet, your back shook as you started to hyperventilate. You need to calm down; you don't know what has happened yet. If something bad did happen, you need to get it together so you can focus and protect yourself and the kids. 

You need to take a deep breath.

In… and out

In……. and out 

One more, you said to yourself as you felt yourself slowly start to calm down.  

In…. and… out—

You snap your head to the back of the closet, following the sounds of a cry; it's Charlie and his sister, both having a screaming battle at the same time.  

You didn't even get a chance to react; as soon as you reached for them, the door swung open, and in front of you wasn't Tommy. You started to scoot back, but there was nowhere to go, 

"No, no. Please, please." You tried to plead with the stranger, but to no avail; he snatched you out of the closet and threw you to the floor. You tried to get up and run, but he kicked you in your back, knocking you back down on the floor. The impact of your chest hitting the floor knocked the breath out of your lungs. 

He doesn't give you a second to catch your breath, he immediately climbs on top of you, pinning you down with his weight. 

You gasp out and glance around the room, franticly in search of something, anything that you could possibly use as a weapon. It's getting hard to see between the tears that start to gather in your eyes and the blood that's dripping down from your head from a wound you can't even feel, let alone know how you got. 

It's too much, this is all too much. 

You didn't know what to do, so you did the only thing you could think of and started screaming for Tommy.

"TOMMY!!!"

"TOMMY!!!"

"I'm afraid Tommy's preoccupied at the moment," the intruder laughed as he spoke. "I think my friend is taking care of him right now, just like I'm bout to do with you." 

You felt a knife start to tease its way down your back, you shuddered in fear. You wanted to plead for your life so bad, but something was stopping you. You didn't know what it was, but every time you started to talk, you choked on the words threatening to come out. 

"But unlike my friend downstairs, I'm going to take my time with you, who knows maybe he'll come join."

You suddenly felt your body become rigid, which also caused you to stop breathing. Fear had consumed you; you froze, too scared to even move an inch.  Your mind went completely blank, unable to think or move. You felt yourself start to shut down. 

You didn't even move once you started to feel him, he began to tear your clothes off with his knife. 

It wasn't till you, Charlie, called out to you from the closet that you were brought back to reality. You looked up at him to see him still crying, but quietly now. You felt sick to your stomach, Charlie. Having to see something like this at his age, he will never recover from it. And there's no way you can protect him from it; you're at a loss for what to do. You look up at Charlie, about to tell him to close his eyes, as you feel the stranger working at getting your underwear off, when your eyes  land on a spit bucket on the floor. 

Your eyes connect with Charlie's, and you try to signal to him to slide you that bucket. You tapped your hand against the floor, trying not to draw too much attention to yourself. You glance towards Charlie, then, once you catch his sight, you quickly glance between the bucket and him.

You swear time is moving so slowly, because of the things at stake, it felt as if it took Charlie forever to get what you were saying, but in reality, he got it almost instantly. 

Charlie slowly scoots forward and lines up his foot with the bucket. He glances towards it once more before giving the bucket a hard push in your direction. He pushed the basket so hard that it knocked over, spilling its contents onto the floor. However, it didn't matter because the bucket slid right into your hand afterward. 

You gripped the bucket as tightly as you could and used all your power to push the man off you. You succeeded slightly, seeing as the man was more or less knocked off balance than completely over, but that's fine for you; it's enough for you to get from underneath him. You crawl towards Charlie, quickly slamming the door shut.

You hear the intruder hot on your tail, you turn your body to face him, and as you do, you swing your hand holding the bucket around, giving you the force to knock the man onto the floor with one blow. Not wasting any time, you climb onto the man with the iron bucket in hand, raise the bucket above your head, and start bashing in the man's face.

You feel yourself start to sleep mentally as your body goes into cruise control, repeating the same motion over and over again. You can feel yourself bring your hands above your head with the bucket and back down with all your strength into the man's face over and over again. You're not even thinking about doing it, you just do it naturally. 

You don't even flinch when the blood starts to paint your face, if anything, that encourages you to swing harder and faster. Each swing you took chips away at something inside you, you didn't stop bashing this man's face in, even when you knew he was already dead, you just kept going. 

You hit the man with the bucket one more time, feeling his skull crack as you did, feeling perhaps satisfied you finally stop completely out of breath, you fall back off the man as soon as you let the bucket go, your body collapsing. You invited the cold, hard floor, but never felt it touch your back. Instead, you feel into another hard surface, glance up at the thing that caught you, and see them with their piercing blue eyes staring back at you. 

Tommy didn't look much different from you; he too was covered in blood, and you had suspected he just had to fight for his life with the intruder, just as you. 

Tommy looked at you with a look you hardly recognized; it seemed to be a mix of guilt and sadness, leaving you unsure.

You turn around in Tommy's arm, pulling yourself up as you do, you rest on your knees and look at Tommy, now that you're getting a better look at him, you realize he is covered in blood. From head to toe, maybe there was more than one intruder downstairs, you wonder if—

 Tommy reached out and pulled you into a hug. At first, you were shaken, but it didn't take long for you to welcome the hug and hug him back tightly. 

 You lay there in his arms, letting your body relax into his, allowing him to hold you. 

You heard the birds start to chirp and that's when you got up and headed towards the closet and open the door, you waited a second to pull it open glancing back to see Tommy putting a sheet over the dead body once he was done you opened up the closet door and was surprised to see Charlie sitting there with a gun in one hand and struggling to hold his sister up in the other. They had both stopped crying, and Ruby had even fallen back asleep with her pacifier now in her mouth.

Not Charlie, though he had waited, ready for whoever came through that door, ready to protect his sister at all costs.

You bent down slowly to Charlie's eye level and reached out for him. You saw his eye dart up next to you, and you could only assume it was Tommy, who you felt was behind you. 

"Oi give it here," Tommy asked Charlie as he stretched his hand out towards the gun. 

Charlie's eyes darted between you and Tommy, as if he were unsure, but you knew it was just too much for him, and he was in survival mode. 

"It's ok, Charlie, we're ok now, you're ok now." 

Carlie dropped the gun on the floor, and you slid it back to Tommy so he could pick it up.

You instantly reached chili when the gun was tucked away, you had picked up Ruby and handed her to Tommy, then reached for Charlie as soon as he was in your arms, you started to cry. You hugged him tightly and stood up to meet Tommy. 

His arm reached out and wrapped around you, both trying to bring you in, tighten. 

Everyone was pulling one another closer, as if they could be any closer, but you didn't care. 

You let go of each other and Tommy hands you Ruby and heads down stairs, you give him time to clean up and you get the kids dressed up, you keep trying to distract Charlie by rambling on about nothing, anything to keep his mind from thinking back and his eyes from drifting back towards the body behind you. 

Tommy comes back upstairs to get you right when you finish dressing, Ruby; he doesn't say anything, just nods his head towards the door. You carry Ruby in one hand and hold Charlie's hand in the other. As you go down the stairs, you keep Charlie closest to the way, blocking this view, but you see it all.

There had been two men, and both were dead on the ground, covered up with a sheet. Tommy opened up the front door, then turned around to pick up Charlie. He carried Charlie out to the car, and you followed in tow with Ruby. You glanced around and saw two peaky men on the ground, dead. 

You wondered how they got in, and now you know, I guess. 

You slide into the car next to Tommy, with Carlie in between you, and hug him tighter as Tommy takes off. You weren't in the car long; you pulled up next to a set of townhouses and had just stepped out when Polly came out running towards you. 

You pulled yourself into a quick hug and started to check your body for any cuts and bruises. 

"I'm ok, Polly, really I am." 

"Oh, and kids," she asked, glancing down at Ruby in her arms and then over to Charlie, who stood next to Tommy. 

"The kids are poll, we just need a place to stay for a second."

"Well, come on, everyone's inside." 

You followed her in. Once you got in, you actually saw everyone inside: Linda and Arthur, Michael, Ada, their kids, and some peaky men, all framed up in Polly's home. Unsure what to do, especially cause everyone was staring at you, you stood there a bit uneasy. 

"What?" Tommy asked as he glanced around the room, noticing the stares too

Everyone mumbled a bunch of nothings, talking to themselves as they made themselves seem busy. 

Charlie tugged on your arm to get your attention, you bent down to his height to hear him better.

"I'm hungry." 

"Ok, Charlie, I'll get you some food in a second."

"It's ok, I got him, come on Charlie' 

"You sure, Ada?"

"Yeah, go ahead and get cleaned up." You handed Charlie over to Ada and gave the grub to Tommy, who had held his hand out to you. Tommy took your hand and led you upstairs to one of the rooms. 

You entered the room, and Tommy closed the door behind you. You then placed the baby on the bed, where she was sleeping, and hoped she would stay that way while you finished getting ready. 

Your eyes scanned the room, hoping to find the towel. You walked over to them, opened the door, and were relieved to see some towels inside, along with some basic toiletries. You really needed a shower, so you hopped in, and Tommy didn't mind if you went first.  

You turned back to ask him, "Hey, Tommy, you don't mind if I shower for—"Tommy sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, looking defeated. You couldn't help but feel bad for him. You know this would be hard for anyone, period, but especially for Tommy. He can't take a second to breathe; he needs to figure out who to attack next and who sent the hit. There is so much going on in his head that he doesn't even have the time or space to process what just happened. 

You walked towards him and stood between his legs. He spread them, inviting you in. He lifted his head and rested it against your stomach. His body relaxed upon feeling your touch.  You raised your hands and ran them through his hair. He shivered under your touch, which encouraged you to do it more. 

Y'all stayed like this for a while, neither one of you really moving, just being still, listening to one another, breathing. You don't even know why you're doing this after everything that man put you through, and here you are giving him comfort.  In giving him comfort, you're also offering comfort, so maybe it's ok because the trade-off feels equal. 

You glanced down at Tommy as he started to kiss along your stomach. He kissed all along your stomach, then looked up at you and continued, his eyes now locked with yours. He lifted your shirt slightly and kissed along your stomach, his eyes never leaving yours. 

He started to stand up, leaving a trail of kisses along your stomach, going up as he did. He kissed all the way till he met your lips, those he didn't kiss.

His lips moved above yours for a second, barely glazing your face as he started into your soul. He held your head in his hands, then bent down hesitantly and captured your lips with his. He kissed you softly and slowly, as if you were the most precious, most fragile jewel he owned. 

The kiss didn't last as long as you'd like; you pulled away from your lips, but he kept the closeness and still held your head in his hands. He pressed his head into your shoulders and looked you straight in the eyes. He seemed nervous, but you couldn't quite put your finger on what it was. His mouth opened slightly before closing, then again and again. You wonder what's got him like this, why he's so nervous to speak. 

"What Tommy?" 

"I'm going to be better for you." 

"Tommy, what are you talking about?" You're confused, "Tommy started up again, but Tommy cut you off 

"No, look, I'm going to be better, I promise, ok. For the business, the family, Charlie, Ruby, and you. I'm going to start moving with you in mind. Ok, I'm going to move as if I'm scared to lose you because I am, and I can't go through that again.  I love ya, ok?"

Hearing him say he loved you for the first time ever caused a million emotions to run through your body, and the only way your body could react was to cry. You started to cry as if you hadn't cried in a million years, and the dam just broke. Tommy had started to shed tears, nowhere near on the same level as you.

"Forgive me?" 

That was it, and you swear your body would have dropped if it wasn't for Tommy holding you up, you would've dropped. The Shelbys don't apologize; you have heard John and Arthur say that a million times over. But here he is, Tommy Shelby, asking for your forgiveness. 

"For what," you asked as you wiped your face 

"Everything" 

You're at a loss, unsure if you can go through that again. You grab his hand, pulling it down from your face, and you know that he can tell how you feel just by your reaction, how you're feeling.

"Tommy I-"

"Oi Tommy, are you ready to go?" Arthur yelled upstairs. 

"Ok, Arthur," he yelled back, then turned his attention back towards you.

"Look, I-" 

"Tommy, we really have to go, we don't have much time." This time, it was Michael who yelled up the stairs. 

Tommy looked down at you once more, then pulled you in for a kiss, 

This kiss had a lot more behind it; it felt as if he was pleading, begging you to say yes through the kiss. 

He pulled back and kissed you once more on your forehead, then grabbed his coat and walked out of the room downstairs, leaving with the boys to do God knows what. 

There's something about Thomas, something that pulls you back in every time you try to leave, something that makes you see his point of view that allows you to give him grace. You love this man as much as you hate him.

His need for money and power began with the need to protect his family, so they would never have to go hungry or sell everything they own, including their bodies, just to get food. 

But just like every man, he didn't know when to stop,  because he was never satisfied as a kid, always had enough to survive, and now he's never satisfied with his money and power; he doesn't want enough to survive. What does he want? Who knows, this man may never be satisfied. 

Can you live like that? With a man whose wants and limits are forever growing, never having a limit or cap. 

This is never the life you dreamed for yourself, but now that you look back on that dream, it truly was nothing but a fantasy. It wasn't really achievable now that you look back on it. But are you willing to settle for this, this life with the devil himself? 

But the way he makes you feel when he looks at you, how he makes you feel protected, how he gets your pain and doesn't dismiss it. He gets you like no man has ever. How he doesn't judge this dark side of you; in fact, he waters and feeds it. 

Honestly, after all that you have been through, there is no man out there that could get you like him, either because of the war or all the gang shit you've been wrapped in. You used to feel like a shell of a person, like you just existed, but you liked how you were the Peaky Doc; you kinda lived for it. You had a purpose, family, and friends. 

And if you're being honest, Tommy has damaged you for any other man.

On the other hand, you've never even been in a real relationship with him; it's just been hook-ups, cuddles, and glances. 

But you have to admit there is something substantial here, something undeniable. What are the chances that you'd meet the man whose life you saved all these years ago? Polly may be right; maybe our souls are tied, and this is how it's supposed to go, as written. 

You don't know you're just so confused, unsure which way to go. 

You need a shower, some sleep, and some food. 

You take a quick shower, and when you come out, there are premade baby bottles on a tray, fresh clothes, and some soup all on a tray for you.  You're so happy to see that because, to be honest, you didn't feel like going downstairs. 

You feed the baby, change her clothes, then feed yourself and change into new clothes. You tucked both of you under the blanket and fell asleep. 

Sleep didn't come as easily as you would've liked; you tossed and turned all night. At one point, you were right back in that room, fighting for your life, it was so vivid, almost as if it was happening again. You knew it was a dream, though, because certain things about it were off —specific details that were wrong that you would never forget. 

So you started to scream, Wake up,

Wake up,

Wake up.

You scream this to yourself over and over again, trying to wiggle your toes, your fingers, anything. It felt like an eternity that you were trapped in that dream, fighting your body to wake up. 

Finally, you were able to pull your body up from the bed and wake yourself from that dream. As you sat up, you let out a scream. 

You sat up, hunched over, with your heart over your hand. You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. 

You felt a sudden embrace, and when you turned your head, Tommy sat next to you; you had woken him up too. 

"I'm sorry." 

"It's ok just breathe," he said as he rubbed your back. You glanced over to see the kids to see if you had woken them up too, and you were glad to see that they're still fast asleep.

"Let's go back to sleep, ok?"  Tommy spoke softly as he guided you back to the bed. He wrapped his arms around you, bringing you closer into him. You lay on your side and rested your head on his chest. You wrapped your arm around his torso. 

You calmed down as you listened to his steady heartbeat; it helped your rapid heartbeat find a normal pace and settle down. 

This is nice, these little moments, yeah, it's not much, but in a way it's everything. And honestly, there's no one else I would rather be waking up next to every day, no one else I would rather help me calm down after a bad dream, and no one else I would rather be next to right now. (Or maybe it's just a trauma bond, who knows?)

You close your eyes and snuggle closer into Tommy's side, listening to his heartbeat as you fall asleep. 

* * *

You had a feeling that you were late, so you jumped out of bed and checked the time, only to find you had woken up 5 minutes before your alarm was supposed to go off. You lie back down and pull the covers over your head. You wore it, and only a second later, the alarm went off You reached from beneath the cover to turn it off, and you lay back down with the covers over your head.

You almost fell back asleep when, all of a sudden, the blanket was pulled off your head and above you stood T. You swear it didn't matter the time of day Tommy always looked good. 

"Get up, Today's the day." 

You let out a low groan in response as you pulled the covers back up, but what he had said suddenly clicked, and you pulled the covers back down to peek out and look at Tommy, who was still standing there. 

"Today's the day?" Although you had phrased it as a question, you didn't mean it; you knew Today was the day. You had checked off your calendar each day, ticking down the days until Today. 

Today, just smiled softly at you, "Get up, today's the day."

You jumped out of bed, letting out a shriek of glee. Today is the day you ran into the hall and yelled over the stair railing. 

"Today is the day!" 

You swore you heard Tommy let out a small laugh, but when you turned your head back to look, his serious face was on. 

You ran back into the room and headed straight for the shower. You didn't need to pick out your outfit; Tommy had taken you to the shops to get a special dress made, fitted, and made just for you. 

Life has been good to you, as good as it can be being with a man like Tommy. 6 months have passed since that night where you almost died, for a second time. Things have been different, not just because of the people you lost in the war, but also because your relationship with Tommy has changed. Before you two were never really a thing, you knew what it was like to date a man like Tommy, to be by his side out in the open publicly and unapologetically. 

For the last six months, Tommy has been trying to prove to you that maybe he's not the man you deserve, but the man that you need. He knows he's not shit, but he wants to do better and be better for you. Youhave noticed how he tries to come home at a decent hour, always leaves you flowers in the morning, and makes an effort to eat dinner with you as a family. Even the way he does business now, 65% of his business is legit, and he hopes by the time Charlie is 18, it will be 100%. He wants to pass something real and light onto his children, not just heartache and pain. 

He's been trying hard to get back in your good graces, but you haven't been making it easy for him, which is what led you here Today. It's crazy, really, you don't know what on God's green earth possesses him to do it. 

Tommy came up behind you as you put your makeup on in the mirror. He bent down and rested his head on your shoulder, his eyes meeting yours in the mirror. He just stared at you for the longest time without uttering a single word/ Being under his gaze like that made you giggle. 

"What," you asked 

He shrugged his shoulders as he stared at you, "I don't know how I could've gotten so lucky." 

You break eye contact almost immediately. You've known this man for so long, and still, he makes you nervous. 

"Umm—, it's time to get the kids ready." As soon as you asked, Charlie, the maid, walked in with Ruby. 

"Awwww," you said as you walked towards them. Charlie had the cutest suit on with a little peaky hat, and Ruby had the prettiest dress on in a color that matched her name. You take Ruby from the maid, thanking her as you did, and Tommy grabs Charlie's hand. Y'all head downstairs and straight to the car. 

You set the kids between the two of you, and Tommy takes off, you look out the window, forever amazed by the view. Tommy had bought you two a new house not far from Birmingham and close to Polly and Michael. It was big, but not a mansion; it had three times the bedrooms you needed, which is better than having only one. But still, you missed the days when you all slept in the same bed. The huge yard where the kids play, and you hope to add a baby farm with chickens and horses soon. 

It didn't take long to arrive at your destination. I'm a bit late, but who cares? They're all here for you anyway. Tommy pulls up, puts the car in park, jumps out, and runs over to your side, ready to help you out of the car he opens the door for you and helps you out, along with Charlie. 

You didn't even get a second to take in your precious gift when you were suddenly pulled to the steps where the rest of the group was to take the picture. The whole family was there on that step, Michael, Polly, Arthur, Ada. 

Joy filled your heart as you saw the people you cared for most gathered in one place, and alongside them, the people who cared for you just as deeply, ready to celebrate this big win. 

"Alright now, everyone, squeeze in tight," the photographer said. 

Tommy had pulled you to the front, in the center of the steers stood you and him with Ruby on your hip and Charlie on his. You watched him point out the camera to Charlie, and you swear in that Monet, you have never felt happier, you have never felt such love.  Tommy wrapped his arm around you and brought you in closer, you leaned against him and smiled for the camera. 

"One two three" 

Once he was done taking the photo, the photographer pointed you out and a person ran up to you holding a pair of scissors. 

You passed Ruby off to Tommy and took hold of the scissors. 

You posed first with the scissors open with the ribbon in between them, and then again as you cut the ribbon. 

"Today is the very first day that the Shelby Family Birmingham hospital is open, "You yelled out and clapped your hands in excitement. 

"By Order of the Peaky Blinders," Arthur yells from a distance, making the crowd cheer even louder.

You turn around to see Tommy standing here with your children smiling, like real from ear to ear, teeth and all, smiling. You ran up to him and gave him a peek, keeping it cute in front of the kids and crowd. 

You couldn't believe it Tommy had bought you a hospital, yep, your very own hospital, you're the boss. Right here in Birmingham, right where your community needs you, and you can give back to the people, your people. 

Polly came up to hug you and congratulate you, behind her stood Michael

"Congrats, I'm happy for you, really I am," Michael said to you as he opened his arms, asking for a hug.

You were hesitant at first but decided to go ahead and gave him a quick hug, or what you thought was quick, but Michael kept his arms circled around you, tight, making you unable to move. 

"Michael"

"  I want to make sure there's no bad blood between us, but today you will join the family officially, and I just want to make sure you know."

That made you pull back as much as you could so that you could look at him in the face and ask him, "Make sure I know what?"

"What you were getting into, being in this family, is no joke. I did all that to try to push you to see if you would crack under pressure or discomfort. I kept it real with you cause I wanted you to know who Tommy really was before you got with him. You seemed like a sweet girl, and I wanted to make sure you were ready and willing to give up all you have for this family, maybe even your soul at some point, because that's what's required to join this family."

You were taken a bit aback with that statement, you're unsure if he did that out of concern for you joining the family or because of maybe guilt about the ways you've changed, either way, you were curious to see if you passed.

"So did I pass your little test.?" 

"Are you ready?"

"Ready to what?"

"To dance with the devil" 

Before you could even think of an answer to Michael's question, he was pulled away, and more people came up to congratulate you and take photos with you. 

You decided to focus on your grand day and put that Michael business on hold for now. 

You took a few more pictures and shook a few more hands, then it was time to see the hospital in action. You spent all day finding out what worked and what didn't, what you needed to fix, and if you needed to hire more people. Your first day was pretty hectic, being rushed by so many people in desperate need of care, and you couldn't be happier giving it to them. 

You couldn't believe how different your life is just from a couple of years ago, how much you have changed/ You used to hate the ways in which you changed, but honestly, you have never been happier. Yeah, it took a lot to get here, but you're glad you're here. You haven't felt like yourself for a long time, you kept trying to grasp onto who you were before the war, and it took you a long time to figure out that she's dead, and then it took you even longer to figure out who you're supposed to be. You genuinely believe that all roads would've led you down this path and to Tommy, and you can't be. 

Polly keeps talking about the glow you have. She's trying to say it's because you're happy and might be pregnant, but you only focus on the first one because you have two kids, and that's just enough for you. 

You drove yourself back home after the hospital's first day, you're so tired and can't wait to go to sleep. You open the door to your house, and it's quiet, which makes sense, given it's 12 at night. You head towards the steps, ready to go upstairs to bed. 

You stop in your tracks when you see Tommy and all the kids sitting on the couch. Did they wait up for you, or try to do that so sweet? You made your way over to them as quietly as possible, not waiting to wake the kids. As soon as you sit on the couch, Tommy wakes up. He glances over at the clock, then back towards you. 

"You're home late."  This made you laugh; you covered your mouth in an attempt to not wake the kids. 

"Is this how it's going to be? I come home late at night and you ask me what time do you call this?" You laughed even more, but calmed down once you saw Tommy's face. He smiled at you, but it seemed almost pained, as if he had had a different reaction somewhere else. 

"You ok?" You asked 

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said as he got up slowly and carefully moved Charlie and Ruby off him, then placed them back down on the couch. He stood up with his back facing you. Something's wrong. You stood up to ask him about it, but then, as you stood up, he turned around and got down on one knee. You instantly sat back down, or maybe your knees buckled; you weren't sure, honestly. 

Your hands cover your mouth in shock, and you're trying to keep quiet and not wake the kids. 

Tommy then opens the box, and inside is one of the most beautiful rings you have ever seen in your lifetime. He looks you right in the eye and says you're wholesome, and the question that follows. 

You must've frozen because Tommy taps your knee. "You ok?"

"You clear your throat trying to collect yourself, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine, sorry, ask me again."

Tommy laughs at you, but nevertheless, he asks you again, "Will you marry me?"

You sat there contemplating for a second, then said "I'm not going to be competing with any other girls for your attention, ok" which in all honesty, you haven't been since Tommy took you from London. Ada and Polly said he hadn't had a girl since you first left, which was no issue. He knew that, too, but he still played along. 

"There's no other girl for me."

You didn't say anything after that, and neither did she. Neither of you was waiting to bring up one for your man's concerns; you took a deep breath before saying. 

"And I'm not going to compete with Grace, she was your first love and is Charlie's mom, I have and will always respect her for the roles she played in both your lives. But I will not be living in her shadow, I'm not her, so please never treat me like so." 

It's not that Tommy has ever said anything to make you feel this way; there are just times, like when you're parenting Charlie or making plans, that he says things in a certain way, making you second-guess things. Other times it's how he treats you like you will die any second, or the way he looks at you sometimes, you can't really explain it, but you know it has something to do with Grace. It's not like they broke up or anything; she was taken from him. You understand that, but you also know you won't last long in her shadow. 

What you said caused Tommy to stand up so that he could address you properly, and you stood up too, following in suit.

Tommy grabbed your hands before he spoke, "Grace will always be there watching over me, Charlie, Ruby, and even you. I know she would want me to be happy. Grace was for the man I was, you're for the man I was destined to be."

This makes you cry; you don't say another word and nod your head eagerly. Tommy smiles at you, slips the ring on your finger, then hugs you so tight you feel your bones crack. He then pulls back and gives you a sloppy yet passionate kiss. 

You go over to the radio and put a record on, turning the volume up only enough to barely hear it. Tommy catches on and grabs your hand for a dance. 

As you dance, you reflect on all the events that have brought you to this very moment. Between Polly and Tommy, you're starting to believe that your paths have always been connected, and this was all truly meant to happen. Maybe your story is really written in the stars. 

Then you think back to what Michael had said earlier. You didn't have an answer for him then, but you know that if only he could see you now, he would get his answer. 

You have always been scared of the idea of hell. 

And now you're accepting that shit willingly. 

But you couldn't care less.

Yeah, I'm going to hell. 

But at least I'm dancing with the devil himself.

**********

"I'm just asking for a second of your time, Tommy, please."

"No, now hand it over." 

"No", you said as you reached behind your back, pulling the gun from the holster and pointing towards Tommy. 

Tommy's footstep halted; he stared at you for a second, looking like he was weighing his options. 

 "You're not going to kill me," he stated 

"No death is too kind for someone like you, but I will injure you",  you said as if it were a matter of fact.

Again, he looked at you as if he were searching your face for any hint of deception. But you stood tall, with your arms straight, never once shaking. 

He took a couple of steps back from you, then nodded towards you to talk. Not seeing any reason to keep him at gunpoint, you lowered the weapon. 

"I don't want to be left in the dark, Tommy. I want to know what's going on. I don't need to know all the business, but I want to know who's our enemy and if we're losing or winning." 

He nodded in response, encouraging you to continue with your list of requests. 

"And if I needed it, you to give me a moment of your time when I ask, I don't want to have to do all this just to talk to you, just to know what's going on with my life." 

Again, he only nodded at your request, his eyes meeting yours as he waited to see if you were done. 

"And lastly, Tommy, you have to respect me. What you said yesterday was not ok, and if you can't respect me for what this was, at least respect me as the mother of your daughter." 

"Finished," he asked, nodding his head slowly.

He pushed off the wall he was leaning on while you talked and started to walk towards you. 

"Sure," he asked you again. 

"Yeah, you can go. Here's your gun," you said as you held his holster out towards him. 

"I think you have one more question," he said, like he knew something that you didn't 

You narrowed your eyes at him as your head fell to the side. You were confused. 

What game was he playing? 

"Tommy, what are you going on about?" you asked, your voice laced with annoyance. 

He didn't answer; instead, he walked closer to you. 

He walked up close to you to the point that your chest was against his. His head looked down towards you, towering over you. 

Not backing down, you stood tall and held your head high, looking him in the eye. 

"Ask me what you want to ask me, ask me what you've been dying to ask." He said to you as if you knew what he was talking about, like you could read his mind. 

Your eyes tore away from his as you thought about his request, and your mind raced over the millions of possibilities that it could be, that he could mean, but you came up with nothing. 

You looked back towards him and were about to ask him again what he meant when suddenly a thought popped into your head.

 "You mean, you want me to ask you why?" you asked.

You saw something flash in his eyes; you caught his attention, so this is what he wanted you to ask, but why? 

"You want me to ask why you almost had me hanged along with the rest of your family."  You asked again, but this time, you finished your sentence, making sure you both understood each other. 

He looked at you more intently. He didn't say anything but just slowly nodded towards you. 

You took a deep breath as you thought about it for a second. 

It wasn't only you being hung; the rest of his family was too, so you didn't take it personally in that way. But as far as the situation as a whole, it, in a way, woke you up out of the daydream you had been in for months. It was a brutal awakening, a reminder of who Thomas Shelby really was and what it cost to be associated with him in any way. 

"I assume to some degree it was out of your hands. I mean, despite what everyone might think, you are not above the law. Though I'm not sure how they got me on those charges, whether you told them or there was a witness, but seeing as you, your family, were up there right next to me, I knew I wasn't targeted necessarily.... I don't know. I guess I just don't care."  You shrugged, handing his holster off to him, then went upstairs to check on the kids 

You glanced back as you walked up the stairs to see Thomas standing there, frozen, staring at the space where you once stood. You couldn't see his face from where you stood, so you didn't know how he was feeling. You wanted to, though. You want to know why he's interested. You're so tired of playing this game with him. First, he cares, then he doesn't. It seems like he's all in, and next thing you know, he disappears. 

As you make your way into the bedroom, you hear the front door slam, the loud noise rattling through the house, waking up Ruby. You're quick to pick her up, rocking her back and forth, softly whispering sweet nothings into her ear. 

*********************

You were eating breakfast with the kids when a knock came at the door. No one has ever knocked……. If someone did come over, they would always come along with Thomas. 

You slowly get up from your chair and glance around the room in search of a weapon. Your eyes land on the knife lying on the kitchen table; it's a butter knife, but it's a knife nonetheless. You walk up to the door with the knife tightly gripped in your hands. 

You wish you could sneak a glance to see who's outside, but Tommy doesn't have a window facing the street, let alone a peephole. Your hand wrapped around the knife that you kept at your side. 

.

.

.

 You swing the door open, ready for whoever waits on the other side. 

"What the fuck are you doing? Put the knife down and move aside. I'm here to see the baby."  

Polly pushed past you straight to the kitchen in search of Ruby, followed by Linda and Ada. 

You slammed the door behind them. You honestly didn't know which would've been worse, an intruder or the big three. 

You walked into the living room and saw Charlie and Karl running around; you must've missed him coming in. You turned and saw Polly, Ada, and Linda all standing around the baby, making faces and noises. 

You never were really "close" to them like you were to Arthur. When you saw them, you said hello, and when they spoke to you, you spoke back; however, as far as chit-chat with the girls, that never happened. That's why you're confused about why they're here and how you should act, so you just stand there awkwardly.

"The boys are planning something big, you know," Polly said as she headed towards the couch and took a seat. 

"Is it alright that I smoke in here?" Polly asked, although she had already taken out her cig and lit it 

"I don't really smoke around the "you started. Your words had faded towards the end as you watched her take a puff  ". Baby".  You whispered 

"Tommy got you all cooped up in here. Haven't seen you in over a year, darling. How are ya?" Ada spoke as if you two had been the best of friends, but you hardly ever spoke to her. 

"I'm good." 

"What's the baby's whole name? How old is she?" Linda asked you as she bounced Ruby on her hip 

"Umm, she's 6 months, and her name is Ruby Marie — "you paused before whispering out your last name. 

Polly cocked her head to the side as you gave her a once-over; she took a puff of smoke before asking, "She a Shelby no?" 

"Yes, she has his blood." You spoke as if you were stating the obvious, though you know that's not what she was asking 

"But not his last name,"  she scoffed as she rolled her eyes, taking another drag of her cig.

You didn't see what the big deal was; it's not like you and Tommy were married, for heaven's sake. Neither Polly nor Michael has the Shelby name, and you aren't even sure how Polly is related to Tommy—is she a blood aunt or married in? 

Polly stared at you as if she was trying to make you fold under her gaze, but you stared right back with the same energy. You were confused by this energy, given that you rarely spoke to Polly, but who were you to back down from a fight? 

"Ladies, please. We're all family, and that's all we've got, so let's move on from this. Ya? 

You glanced over to Ada, who just smiled back at you, and then you looked back to Polly, who, now that you think about it, looks off. You haven't spent much time with her, but you know what she looked like and how she carried herself. This isn't it; this isn't her, so you decided to let it go. 

You decided to turn your attention to Ada and Linda. "How have you two been? Any new little ones?" 

* * *

"And you won't believe one big push and he just slipped right out, you know, after that I'll tell you my vagina has-"

"Ada!" Polly had screamed in shock, surprised Ada would tell such a detailed story about her giving birth to Karl. 

You, on the other hand, thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. 

"You should've seen me when I gave birth. I was too scared to push. The nurse kept telling me to push, and I just sat there and cried like a little baby. And then when I did start to push, she didn't want to come out. I swear, I pushed and pushed. She was a stubborn one." You laughed as you told the story now, but then it was nothing to laugh about. 

"She likes her father in that way," Polly chipped in, and you nodded your head, agreeing. 

You saw everyone's eyes drift behind you. When you turned around, you saw Tommy standing there, leaning against the door frame. You didn't know how long he had been standing there, but if you were to take a guess, you would say he had been there long enough to have heard your birth story. 

Sensing the energy switch in the room, Polly, Linda, and Ada got up.

"I guess it's about time we head out. Thank you for having us. Hope to do it again soon.

They all got up and gave you their goodbyes, telling Tommy a farewell as they left.

"She was a bit of a troublemaker, ya?" Tommy suddenly asked after you had closed the door. 

"Yeah," you responded, still upset.

Tommy didn't say anything after that, but just ran upstairs to grab something. On his way back down, he dropped something on his way out the door. He turned around to pick it up, but you had beaten him to it. It was a photo of you and Ruby in the hospital the day she was born. You remember everything about that day, including taking this photo. You were holding Ruby up like a burrito, her face next to yours, smiling. This was really a good day, despite the circumstances. 

You don't even feel like questioning him about how he got this pic; instead, you just hand it back to him and let him leave. 

For the next couple of weeks, Polly, Ada, and Linda will come over a few times a week. Polly and Linda don't always come, but Ada does. It's nice having them over, honestly. You and Polly got over your silly difference relatively quickly, and it's now really peaceful. It's nice having them over. 

When they're around, you smile and laugh the whole time, and when they're away and something happens, you can't wait to see them again to tell them about it. You start to feel like a new version of yourself, not really who you used to be, but a blend of your pre- and post-war self, and honestly, pre- and post-Tommy, all mixed together to create a new person. A version of you that you're starting to go very fond of. 

Today, they are coming over, and you have made a cake, little sandwiches, and tea. You even got the kids dressed up in their Sunday best. 

You had finished setting up the plates when the doorbell rang. 

You open the door and are happy to see all three of your new favorite people —well, two of them —and Linda, whom you're still not entirely sure about. 

"Ladies, come in. I have the food and drink. Ada Charlie is playing with some toys in the living room. If you want to send Karl in there."

The girls come in, and as usual, you all start chatting it up, like one of those new Book Clubs you hear about. 

—

You had just finished eating, and the topic of discussion had taken a turn; you had been telling stories about your time in the war. 

"Yeah, and I pulled him up and out of the dirt along with his friends and sent him to the nearest hospital."

"Wow," Ada and Linda said at the same time.

"That's the first time you met Tommy", Polly said, which caught you off guard. 

"He told you?" You were surprised 

"Not directly, I asked. There were some clues you both had left, things he did, ways he acted around you. So I put it all together and asked him one day, and he told me." 

"Wait, I'm confused," Linda said, looking back and forth between you and Polly.

"Tommy was the guy that I pulled from the dirt."

"Wow," Ada and Linda said at the same time. 

"And you didn't know it at the time?" Ada questioned you

"No, back then he wasn't even Thomas Shebly; he was just a regular guy."

"When did you figure it out?" This time, it was Linda asking you the questions 

"Umm, during the time with the Russians when he got hurt, he had said that thing he says, that all the boys say. In a bleak midwinter. I had heard it from somewhere, and once Ada said he had said he had been in a tunnel collapse, it all came together."

"When did Tommy learn?" Ada asked. Polly answered before you could, but it didn't matter. You didn't know the answer. 

"When he first saw her in the hospital when we were at war with Sabibi."

Your face must've told a thousand words because Polly continued, "Yep, as soon as he saw you, he knew exactly who you were. That's why he instantly put a protection detail on you, paid for your rent, and everything."

"Wow" 

You would swear Ada and Linda were doing it on purpose, because for the third time, they spoke in sync. 

"That crazy meeting all these years later, again, you saving his life." Linda sounded amazed 

"Crazy, or written in the stars," Polly questioned

"Ok, now you've lost me, Pol." Ada seemed over it now. On the other hand, she was intrigued. 

"What do you mean? "you asked.

"It's an old Romani tale as old as time." You leaned in closer to her to hear better. "A man and a woman destined to be will meet over and over again. Right when he's on his deathbed, he will see an angel, the woman he's met to be with. His life flashes before his eyes, and every time he opens them, he sees you. A coincidence, I think not." 

"Ignore her. She had been on these pills and—"Ada had started, but Polly cut her off.

"Fine, don't believe me, but their story is written in the stars. How else can you explain it? They're meant to be written in the stars. How did you get back to each other."?

" I think it's time to go". Ada got up, cleaned up a bit, and then dragged Polly and Linda is alongside her. 

They stopped at the door, and everyone gave you a hug goodbye. You tried to be present, but it was hard; your mind couldn't help but wander back to what Polly had said earlier. Ada could see that and tried to give you some advice. 

"Look, don't listen to Polly, or do if you want. Whatever happens between you and my brother, just make sure it's what you want. I love my brother, but I know he has his flaws. " 

You just smiled back and thanked her, waving at the others as they saw them off. You shut the door and headed back to the kitchen to finish cleaning up. 

Was Polly right? Had all roads led you here? No matter what, you always end up right back here, next to him. Remarkably, a man whose life you saved years ago is now one of the most important people in your life. 

This is too much right now, you thought as you finished cleaning up and decided to put it aside, carrying on with the rest of your day. 

* * *

You had just finished cleaning up and put the kids down for the night. You were sitting on the couch, drinking a nightcap of tea, when someone knocked at your door. You were slightly nervous, seeing as it was really late at night. You had wondered who it could be knocking so late. It shouldn't be anyone causing trouble; you had two guards stationed out front, unless they took them out. 

You overthink; you just needed to get up and go. 

You get up and head towards the door, but stop when you're about to open it. You double back to the living room and grab the gun from underneath the table. 

When you walk back towards the door, the person knocks again, to which you respond, "Coming," as you move towards the door quicker.

Your hand hovers above the door for a second. You raise the gun, then swing open the door.

"We have to stop meeting like this." You would've rather it had been an intruder than him. 

 You walk away from the door towards the kitchen to set your gun down and continue to drink your tea.

"What do you want, Michael?" 

"Wow, no, hey, nice to see ya, how are ya? Sorry for your loss." He looked at you, waiting for an answer, but you just continued to sip your tea. He sighed before continuing, "My mum left something here."

You had noticed that Polly left her purse there and set it aside. "It's over there, next to the radio," you said as you pointed it out to him. 

He went over to grab it, then came over and stood closer to you than you liked. 

"Can I see the baby?" 

"She is sleeping." 

"I'll be quiet." 

"Fuck off, Michael." 

"That's fine. I'm sure she hasn't changed much. I haven't seen her." This comment made you put your drink down and walk towards him. 

"But you've never seen her before." You stated strongly 

"Oh, but I have."

"Here you go again with your lies." 

"Who is lying?" he questioned

"Fine, when did you see her?"

"Tommy sent me and a few peaky up there to see her, make sure you were good, that your rent was fair, and that the hospital was paying you good wages. I mean," he paused as he laughed. "Did you really not notice that you got an increase in pay despite only being there for a few months?" 

Here we go again. Michael is telling you something you should've picked up on, and here you go, looking lost as usual. And just when you thought it was over, he continued. 

"You really didn't notice the peaky men following you?"

You hated the way he phrased his question as if you were the dumbest person on the planet. 

"Ok, and what's your point, Michael?" 

"Nothing," he said so casually. He walked out

You made sure to slam the door behind him. He left. 

Between Polly and Michael, it's like they're trying to convince you that Tommy's a good man, he cares, and you're meant to be. It's too much; you don't know what their end goal is with all this, but you hope you're not falling for any trap. 

* * *

"Don't forget to take the stuff out of the oven, ok?" Ada yelled at you as she put her coat on and started to head for the door

"I won't, "you sighed as you opened the door. "That was one time I just forgot for a second

"Yeah, and you almost burned the house down, love, "Polly pointed out to you. 

"One time," you tried to empathize. "Can a girl not make a mistake one time?" You laughed as you spoke, causing the others to laugh along with you.

"One time too many, my love." Linda tried to add joking, but failed and caused the laughter to stop 

"Right— so we'll get out of your hair, love. See you next week." Polly asked if she was asking, but you knew she was telling you. 

"I'll see you all next week. Bye." 

You were giving Ada a hug when suddenly Tommy appeared. He was covered in dirt and scabs, and bruises were littered all over his body. There was a wound on her shoulder. From the looks of it, it looked like a gunshot wound.

"Jesus Tommy, are you ok? What happened? Quick, get-"  Polly's frantic questioning was cut off by Tommy, who began pushing Ada out

"Get out, all of ya." His voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke. Still, we all heard him, but we were too stunned to move. 

"Get the fuck out, now," he yelled, pushing Ada and Polly a little harder. Linda didn't need to be told again; she grabbed he coat and rushed outside along with the others.

"Tommy, now is that how you treat-"Ada had started, but Tommy had slammed the door in her face. 

"I—"you started, but didn't know what to say.

"Get your bag. Meet me in the kitchen", he said, his words slurred. If you didn't know any better, you would say he was drunk, but you didn't smell any alcohol on his breath, and you knew the signs of significant blood loss. 

You nodded your head in response and ran upstairs to gather your things. You were hurrying up the stairs, but you weren't paying attention, and you ended up missing a step, falling as you went up. 

A cry escaped your lips. You glanced down to look at your leg. A gash had appeared; it was big enough that blood started to come out, bad enough that you needed stitches. You continued up the stairs, but more slowly, now that you had a slight limp. 

You grabbed your medical bag and headed back downstairs to the kitchen. Tommy sat in a chair, leaning against the table with a bottle of whiskey next to him. You walked up to him slowly, paying attention to his chest as you watched it rise and fall. 

"Tommy, you ok?"

He didn't say anything; instead, he sat up and started to unbutton his shirt. Underneath was a big gash along his stomach. You walked over to him a bit quicker once you saw that big cut. You set your bag on the floor, next to his feet, and you sat between his legs, your knees on the floor. 

You were hesitant to look up at him because you knew that once you did, you would find him looking back at you, and any person in the same position as you would feel as compromised as you do right now. 

You got to work, cleaning his wound, trying your hardest to not look up at him.

"This might. Sting a little", you say to him, grabbing the alcohol and beginning to clean the cuts. 

Tommy never flinched as you cleaned his cuts. Not once did you expect him to flinch once you started to sew him up, but even then, he never moved, not once. The whole thing didn't take long; neither one of you said a word to the other. 

"Can you stand up for me, please?" you had asked, because you needed to wrap a bandage around his stomach, and it would be easier to do that with him standing. 

He didn't respond to you, but he still got up, and you followed suit. 

You slowly wrapped his stomach, trying to be as gentle as possible. Once you reached the end of the wrap you had kept in place with a piece of tape, you began smoothing out the bandage. Suddenly, his hand stopped yours in its tracks. He held your hand for a second, then began moving his hand up your arm slowly until he reached your face. 

You've yet to look up at him.

He brought his hand under your chin and slowly lifted it up.

Your eyes met his curiously. This man always confused you; you never knew what he truly wanted. 

He started to move both of you backwards until you hit the table. Without a word, he lifted you up onto the table. 

He now stood between your legs, never once breaking eye contact as he did so.

He said nothing as he placed your medical bag on the table and began cleaning you up, just as he had done for him. 

You turned around to find the bottle of whiskey on the table and took a swing of it. Then held onto Tommy's arm for support and stability. 

You're not too macho like Tommy, though. You're woman enough to say that shit hurt. You had held onto his arm while he cleaned up your leg and gave you stitches to the best of his ability. Even when it hurt too much, you dug your nails into his arm; he never flinched nor removed your hand. He took it all. 

He finished up and slowly dropped your leg back down. 

You didn't know what else to say, and the silence was killing you. A simple 'thank you' should be enough to allow you to move on from this and for you both to go your separate ways.

You open your mouth to speak, but you're cut off when Tommy's lips land on yours. 

You froze, unsure of what to do, if this was what you wanted. 

You didn't want this, not like this.

You pushed him off you, but he didn't move that much back; he stayed close to you, close enough that he rested his head on your shoulder. 

You sat there confused. Tommy's behavior is so bipolar; you never know what he's thinking, what he's doing, or what he wants. 

"Tommy, I—"You had wanted to talk to him and see what was wrong, but. Stop once you feel your shirt start to stick to your body. 

He was crying 

Thomas Shelby was crying.

He lifted his head up and looked you in the eyes. You opened your mouth to speak, but Tommy cut you off.

"They killed my brother...  my fucking brother". He pushed out the words as if he couldn't believe that it was true. 

You reached out to touch him, but he moved away from your touch and walked away. He paced around the living room, running his hands through his hair. 

He started punching the air and screaming, then proceeded to kick the furniture. Once he lifted up a chair to throw, you tried to intervene, but he threw it anyway. 

"Tommy!" Your scream is trying to get his attention

Even though he was so far away, once you called his name, he suddenly appeared in front of you. 

Now that he was closer, you could see the tears and snot that now ran down his face. His eyes were bloodshot red, and to a stranger, it might appear that he was going mad, and maybe he was.

"Do you see where we're living? We're living like fucking rats!" 

"Tommy!"

"They got us hidden and running like fucking rats. They killed my brother. They're fucking with my business. I'm hiding like fucking coward. I'm letting them walk all over me, my family hates me, and my daughter doesn't know me. I'm scared, which is rare for me, and I don't know what to do. I'm fucking losing and they're winning." 

He dropped in front of you, wrapping his arms around your waist, burying his head into you as he cried. 

You don't know what came over you in that moment; instead of giving him comfort like a normal person, you did. You caressed his hair for a second, then pulled him away from you. You smiled down at him sweetly, then slapped him in his face so hard that it made your hand hurt. 

You pulled away from him and turned away from him as you shook your hand, trying to ease the pain. 

When you turned back, he was no longer on the floor but stood in your face. 

Before he could even speak, you pushed him back and slapped him again. You went in for a third time, but he stopped you. You snatched your hand out of his and jabbed your finger in his chest as you spoke. 

"Who are you? Who the fuck is standing in front of me right now? I know it's not Tommy Shelby. The man took down Billy, the biggest, baddest bookie in London, like it was another Tuesday. Tommy, who played the Russians like a game of chess. The police? He owns them, the King in his fucking back pocket. This gang shit comes easy to him. It's fucking child's play. He's Birmingham's very own gangster fuck, Birmingham, you're the King of London, all of the UK if you wanted. Why? Because you're Tommy Fucking Shelby, you don't answer to no man; you make the rules, and any man standing in your way, you'll send them home in a casket. That's who you are."

Tommy looked at you as if he didn't recognize you, as if he wasn't one of the reasons you are the way you are today. 

"So don't come in there crying like a little bitch. Get out there and show them exactly who the fuck they're messing with. Then, when you're done, you'll come home to the people who are waiting for you, depending on you, Charlie, your daughter, … me." 

You didn't realize you had been crying until Tommy reached up and wiped away your tears. You didn't say anything, and neither did he; you both just looked at each other. No words were needed; you both knew what the other was thinking, and for the first time, you both had seen one another and truly understood each other. 

Tommy bent down and kissed you on the forehead, then grabbed his jacket and headed out, never saying a damn word. 

As soon as he shut the door, you let go of a breath you didn't even realize you were holding. 

This life is so draining that it's too much all the time, and you swear it's never long enough for you to reap the benefits. 

You sat back down at the table and took out your packet of cigs and smoked one after another till you were almost done with the packet. You were trying to process everything, but then Charlie came down the stairs, saying he was hungry. You made him some dinner and fed Ruby. You put them back to bed after that and started cleaning up the mess you and Tommy had made. 

Once you were finished, you went upstairs, took a shower, and went straight to bed; you just wanted this day to be over.

You weren't asleep for long. You were woken up by Tommy moving you over slightly. You had left enough room for him on the other side to sleep next to Charlie, but he clearly had other plans. He had pulled everyone over slightly so he had enough room to get behind you. 

When he wrapped his arm around you, you didn't put up a fight; instead, you scooted back closer to him and tightened his arm around you. You knew he was shocked by this because his body went stiff against yours for a second before melting into you. 

Right now, you didn't care about your past; you were too tired, and you know he is too. You know he's going through a lot right now and could use this win, so you'll let him have it. 

You are honestly just happy he let you in.

Whatever it takes to help him, 

He took a break for dramatic effect as he pulled up the video you'd sent to him.

"  She even has had a few of her underwear and bras disappear, enough for her to notice. Thinking maybe it was her creepy landlord, she decided to set up a hidden camera, and what I'm about to show you next is— downright chilling." 

"After she locks her windows and tugs on it for reassurance, she hops into bed and falls right to sleep. A couple of hours later, the camera cuts to black, and when it comes back, someone or— something is now standing in the corner of her room. The shadowy figures seem to almost be...  floating off the ground?  Though its feet don't touch the ground, it still towers over her even from the corner of the room. You can't make out any features except maybe his eyes, which glow in the dark. " 

"And if that wasn't scary enough, she suddenly wakes up as if she knew someone was in the room with her." 

"You see her eyes dart back and forth in almost a panic, her body unable to move, so she just lies there defying her instinct to run. The shadow of a man then moves closer to her, once standing in front of her, it seems as if he's almost talking to her." 

"Now I've enhanced the sound and focused in, I'm going to play it again and you tell me what you think. It sounds as if the voice is almost whispering, calm down” Nuke's voice deepens as he spoke, then he processed to play the clip of the shadow talking. 

"Calm down."

"Calm down."

Nukes then plays the sound again and again, each time sending chills down your spine and covering you in goosebumps. 

"After that, the camera messes up once again, and then he's gone. Now I don't know about this one guys, is it a sleep paralysis demon come to life or is it an all elaborate hoax you decide." 

The video fades into background noise as you turn to see your friends' shocked faces. 

"You're playing with us, right?" Your friend Josh asked in disbelief

You just shook your head no, giving them a tight smile, as your friend Josh and your other friend Lily start to ask you a million questions all at once, most of them you just shook your head no, or gave unintentional vague answers. 

You didn't mean to, but you really didn't have the answers.

"Do you know what it is?" 

"What did it sound like?"

"What did he look like?"

"Was he hot?"

"Were you scared?" 

That last question piqued your interest. People were always curious about what it was or if someone had died here, but no one ever asked if you were scared, as if it was a given. Something strange and unknown enters your house, you should be scared, right?

And yeah you're slightly scared but, not really because of the being itself, whenever you see it you strangely get this calming feeling, the same kind of feeling you had when you had drowned in the lake when you were younger. 

The same feeling that came after you accepted death and stopped fighting.

The feeling you get when you finally let the water comfort you. 

You weren't scared of seeing him as much as you were scared of what he made you see when you had seen him, you relived things from your past that were scarier than almost dying. 

Instead of trying to explain something you didn't even understand, a feeling you couldn’t quite grasp, you just simply nodded ‘yes’ back at her question.

 You had spent over an hour answering all the questions they asked until they left. 

You held the door open as you saw them off, you waved towards them as they walked further away from you.

"Call if anything scary happens," Lil yelled towards you from down the hall.

"Yeah, call us or maybe uh, ghostbuster," Josh joined in jokingly. 

"Better yet, Ed and Lorraine Warren," Lilly added on. 

You gave them back a tired smile, shutting the door as they turned the corner.

People are skeptical and don't believe in 

things they can't see with their own eyes, but still, it would be nice to have someone believe you.

You decided to head to bed, seeing as you had to get up early tomorrow. 

You do your nightly routine mindlessly as you get ready for bed, you brush your teeth, take a shower, and  fix your lunch all while on autopilot. Your mind isn't racing , it's just thinking about the same thing, the same person over and over again. 

You question what it might be, what it wants with you, how it can make you see the scariest moment of your life, but somehow at the same time make you feel at peace. 

You walk into your room ready to go to bed, you pass your computer on the way to your bed, and you stop, staring at it for a second, then quickly decide to grab it. 

Hopping into bed, you crack open the laptop and go to Nuke's most recent video, which was about you, to read the comments. 

The whole reason you shared the video with Nukes was to feel validated. You showed the videos to all your friends and your sister, and most of them thought you had made a whole movie; some even said it was just a camera glitch. 

As if they refused to believe in anything they couldn't explain with logic. 

You scroll through the comments and read them, 

"Come on, this is clearly fake, the convent glitches when it appears and disappears, are you serious?"

"Is this from a movie? This is well edited, it looks so good my grandma would believe it."

"Wow, AI is scary, y'all, it's getting too good."

You brought your hand up to your chest, rubbing away the pain that had started to appear. 

No one believed you, no one believed in what you saw, they think you're lying and that you faked it.  

You kept scrolling, hoping to find one person, one comment that believed you. 

Still, each page you read was just full of people who called you a liar, saying you faked it and talked about how out of control AI was getting. 

That was until you saw a comment from someone named 'methchicken' who said, "It looks real to me. It looks like maybe he just wants to be her friend." 

This had taken you aback a bit. Out of all the comments, you were hoping to find something like this, but you didn't expect someone to say something so unexpected. 

You were looking for someone to agree that it was creepy and discuss how they would be totally freaked out. 

Instead, you found a comment that made you rethink your entire interaction with the thing. 

You thought back to how it looked at you, how it reached out to you, and how it cared that you were freaking out. 

You clicked on the person's profile in hopes of gaining a better understanding of who they are or what they might believe in, so that you're not listening to the words of a crazy person. 

You click on the account and find it completely empty, which isn't abnormal, you've had your YouTube account since you were a kid and have never posted a video. 

But this account has only commented once, and it's on the nukes post, which again isn't that weird. 

Still, it is weird how the account was made less than a day ago, just a few hours after the nukes video was posted. 

This is too much. 

You slam your computer shut and get up to do your nightly check, a task you didn’t used to do but have now gotten into the habit of doing since your uninvited visitor came to visit. 

You go around your house, double-checking to make sure all the windows and doors are closed and locked. Then, you come into your room, closing your bedroom door behind you, locking it. 

You then make your way towards your window, close it, and lock it. 

You stand there staring out the window looking towards the sky, trying to see if you can see anything, double-checking every dark cloud you see, thinking maybe it's him. 

But, everything you think is him for even a second is soon shot down. Once you don't see those glowing eyes staring back at you.

You don't even know why you're looking for him, you guess it's the curious part of you, but no one's this damn curious, right? 

Like no one in their right mind would be looking for something that appeared in their room in the middle of the night just as quickly as it disappeared. 

Maybe you're not right in the head. 

You clearly aren't.

Because your next action, you couldn't even explain to yourself why you did it, let alone to anyone else.

You reached up and unlocked the window doors. You stood there for a moment, contemplating, trying to let reason be louder than the curiosity in you. 

It wasn't. 

You then push the doors wide open, and the cold air comes rushing in, causing your curtains to blow around in the wind. 

You let out the breath you were holding as you turned back towards your bed and climbed back into it. 

You sit there waiting for something to happen, for someone to appear. 

—

You don't know how long you've been sitting there, but you glance down at your clock next to your bed and see 1:11 am glowing on the screen. 

You have to get up at 5 for work. 

You decided to lie down and go to sleep, figuring that if anything was going to happen, it would have already. 

As soon as your head hits the pillow, you fall asleep exhausted from staying up so late into the night. 

Soon after you close your eyes, they pop open slightly, frightened by the sound of your alarm going off. 

You get up slowly, not really wanting to work, as you never do, but especially not after getting less than 4 hours of sleep. 

You pull your legs over to the edge of your bed, slipping on your slipper as you stand up, stretching. 

You walk over to your dresser to grab some clothes, getting ready for a shower. As you start towards your bedroom door to head to the bathroom, you realize something. 

You whip around and run up to your window, confused and creeped out by what you see. 

It's closed and locked, the window that you had left open last night is now closed and locked. 

You open the window and glance around as if you would see something, but with the sun rising and the time of night he appears, you highly doubt it. 

You're about to walk away when you see some kind of black powder substance on the edge of the window covering the brick. 

Your hand reached out and picked some up rubbing the power between your fingers. 

Your friend was there last night; he came and left, making sure to close the window as he went. 

You walk back to your bathroom to start getting ready for work. 

Your mind wanders constantly as you go through the day. 

You continuously made mistakes at work, having to redo basic tasks over and over again because you just can't get this thing off your mind. 

You're unsure how to feel about it. You want to say, "Now I know it won't hurt you," but what does it want? Why you?

You're as scared as you're intrigued; you want it to stay far away from you as much as you want it to come closer.

You're conflicted, but at the same time, you know exactly what you want; you're just too scared to say it out loud, even if no one's there but you. 

Either way, despite going back and forth with yourself all day about what this means, what it might want, what you want, still, before you hop into bed that night, you kept your windows wide open, a sort of indentation, to your friend. 

Night after night, you kept your windows open, staying awake, waiting for it to appear, only to fall asleep at some point in the night and awaken to find your windows closed and locked. 

You kept missing it night after night. 

You had begun to wonder if what you saw was real, but you knew it was because how else would your window be closed and locked up? 

You just wanted to see it, a glimpse of anything to prove to yourself that it existed. 

You're not even sure what you would do if you saw it, you honestly would lose it, but still you just wanted to see it. 

You were getting desperate at this point; you had been losing so much sleep over trying to see this thing that people around you started to grow worried. Your sister called, but you didn't answer. 

Your friend tried to come over, but you always pretended that you weren't home. Your boss yelled at you every other day because your work was getting sloppy and remained unfinished or late. 

You had spent weeks leaving your window open, waiting, hoping for him to appear, anything that you could hold onto. 

You decided that tonight would be the last night, the last night that you open your window and wait for him, the last night you push your body past exhaustion, in hopes that you might see him. 

Like every night, after you get ready for bed, you go into your room and open the windows wide, sending your usual invitation, but this time, instead of just opening them and heading to bed to wait, 

you send out a prayer. 

You get down on your knees and fold your hands together, staring into the sky for a second before closing your eyes.

"If you're out there, please, please show yourself." 

 No, that didn't feel right, those words didn't feel right, so you try again, 

"If you're out there, please come to me." 

"Come to me," You whispered.

You get up off the floor feeling slightly crazy, but nevertheless, you slip into bed and like always, you fall right to sleep before he 

comes. 

Right? 

****************

"A couple of weeks ago, I showed you all a video a nukes watcher had sent in, you've all been asking for an update, and I haven't had one till now." Nuke started off but not like usual this new video was nothing but usual. 

"Now this video is as creepy as the last, if not creepier. I'm actually going to put a warning on this video because it's just that creepy. So if you decide to continue, just know that this video I'm about to show you will be downright terrifying." 

"What's most interesting about this video is that it wasn't sent in by the viewer but her sister in hopes that if enough people saw it and brought attention to it, some sense can be made." 

Nuke then pauses as he pulls the video up on the screen. 

"Now again, this nukes Top 5 viewer had kept the camera up in hopes to catch something more, some more proof to prove to all the doubters. But unlike last time, we see her open her window?” Nuke said in disbelief as if he couldn’t believe what was seeing. 

“ Last time we saw her, she closed and locked her window, even double-checking it out of fear of what might be waiting for her on the other side. But this time she opens it wide and even gets down to say a prayer?”

"Maybe it's a prayer to ward off evil spirits, but still it's a little— suspicious." 

"Nevertheless,  she then proceeded to go to bed, time flys, and nothing happened, but then —" 

"Did you see it?"

"Neither did I, but she did, or she heard something, because from the dead of sleep, her eyes popped open almost as if she'd been startled.”

“She must've heard something, because soon after, she began to wake up, and this time, she was able to move. Hesitantly, she pulls the blanket off her body and swings her legs off the bed. Her feet press to the ground, and she just sits there. Almost as if she were unsure if she should move. In a hasty decision, she quickly pushes herself up off the bed and turns to face the window."

"Slowly she starts to walk towards the window, carefully placing one foot in front of the other, tiptoeing almost as if she is afraid that she will wake something up or bring attention to herself. She reaches the window and carefully begins to close the doors. Just as she closes the doors back and is about to lock, the doors swing open violently, and she is sent back flying across the room, landing on her back." 

"Hearing all the commotion, her cat comes running in but stops in its tracks as if she sees someone or something she’s afraid of.

Thinking quickly, she gets off the floor and reaches for what looks like pepper spray. She points it at the intruder and seems to be yelling at him to get back. Now it's unclear what exactly  is being said because all the audio for the video up to this point is just static." 

"What happens next will make your blood run cold."

"Suddenly, a shadowy figure slowly moves into the room, its feet never touching the ground as it seems to float across the floor. From the looks of it, it appears to be the same figure seen in her previous video. It has a human-like figure, but it's hard to tell because the lighting is so dim. But it seems to have those same glowing eyes as before."

"The figure then seems to reach out to her and at the same time the mace flies out of her hand,  she turns towards the door deciding to just get the hell out of there when suddenly her bedroom door slams shut." 

"Terrified and unsure what to do, she just stands there, tears falling down her face as she backs up away from the figure holding her hands out as her only defense. Her footsteps come to a stop when her back hits the wall. Unsure of what to do and feeling defeated, she slides down the wall, attempting to make herself small and curl into a ball. " 

"The shadowy figure then proceeds to move closer to her till he is right up on her, he then puts his hand underneath her chin, which she had tucked into her knees, and pulls her head up to look at him. " 

"Now this whole time we're unable to hear anything said because the audio is just so staticy that is until this part where it clears it for a second and what's said next even gives me chills." Nuke voice shook as he spoke 

"Now I've enhanced the audio just a bit so it could be easier to understand, but it seems as if the shadow whispers to her in a gurgled voice, “calm down, come to me" 

"Calm down, come to me."

"Clam down, come to me." 

“Then he just backs away, floating back to the window, and he just waits there. Now I've sped up the video because she spends over an hour sitting on the floor. The entity stays at the window, neither one moving. Still, both of them seem to be looking at each other, and she seems to be moving her mouth many times, almost as if she's talking to it. Now, because the figure is too dark to make out any features, and because we don't have any audio, it's hard to tell if they were actually having a conversation  , but it does seem that way." Nuke spoke as if he was trying to convince people of his point of view. 

“Then after an hour of talking, she suddenly gets up and walks to the entity, stopping just before the window. She stands there, almost as if contemplating, then nods her head slowly, as if she is saying yes to whatever has been said. The entity then reaches his hand out towards her and, she does the same, her hand hovers above his for only a second before she connects them." 

"In the blink of an eye, she disappears, leaving only the shadow of where she once stood. The shadowy figure still seems to be there, hovering over the floor. Then, just as suddenly, Poof, her cat disappears from her bed, leaving a dark cast over where it once sat. “

"Then, as if the shadowy figure has got what he came for, he slowly backs out the window, and as he does, the doors close behind him, even somehow locking the window back, and just like that, he too disappears." 

"Now this is the weirdest thing I've seen in a while, I'm not too sure if I believe, but I'm not too sure that I don't. However, whether I believe this video is true or not isn't important, because she is still missing. Her sister sent me this video in the hope that she might see it and come home, or that someone might have seen her. So if you have any information about her or what the thing might be, please call 9-1-1." 

"I still have to ask, though, is this all an elaborate hoax, or did something really take her sister and her sister's cat in the middle of the night, leaving only their shadow from where they once stood?

If not, 

My life isn't fascinating to update on every week, but I will update as soon as something noteworthy happens. I promise not to bore you with slow weeks or pointless details. 

I'm going to write and show you what it's like for a 22-year-old girl who has never dated anyone and has never had a boyfriend or anything like it. 

So please be patient with me and give me grace, because I'm just a girl and I'm learning as I go through things. So, please don't be too harsh. I will be giving you as many screenshots of text and everything as I can, of course, with changed names and blurred pictures. 

I hope that people like me, who feel judged for being a "late bloomer," find some comfort in a community of individuals who share the same experience or lack thereof. 

I hope you all use this as a maybe what not to do, seeing how it went for me. I'm nervous about this, but I'm looking forward to it because I have a lot of things to share. Too many lessons have been learned, and I've been God's strongest soldier this year, so trust. It's been a ride.  

I will update every Sunday with something new. Even if nothing has progressed in the love department, I might post a little something about how I gained self-confidence after high school and being perceived as "ugly."  "Undateable" or How to Navigate the Relationship World as a SA Survivor, I Got You… Kind of, 

I'm still figuring it out, so come along. There will be laughter and tears, and moments that have made me want to delete myself, but it shall be fun… maybe… hopefully. 

Next chapter:

ceI asked him to spit in my mouth. He told me to leave, then ghosted me, and I left with a yeast infection. 

Or 

Life with a best friend who has BPD ( Bipolar personality disorder) and no longer being their fav person.

(Sadly, I'm not joking. I'm laughing on the inside. Bye. See you next week, or not. I see a cliff that looks nice for diving.) 

*

*

*

You popped up from the ground, your hand reaching out mindlessly in an attempt to grab onto something to hold onto. Your hand latches onto a vine, and you use it to try to ground yourself, to keep still, to keep from falling. 

You slowly realize that you are no longer falling, and when you open your eyes, you don't recognize your surroundings. In fact, you don't know where you're at. 

You attempt to get up, but find yourself dizzy when you try to stand, causing you to fall back down each time. After the third try, you decide to stay sitting. 

You look around the room, trying to get a better understanding of your surroundings. 

But none of it makes sense. There are flowers everywhere, a piece of paper with drawings of people on it, so clear you would've almost thought they were there with you if the drawing weren't so small. There is a metal cart that you don't recognize, a window, but you can't see anything from where you're sitting, and there are two doors. One doesn't say anything above it, and the other is cracked, with a sign above it spelling out the word' exit'. 

Why would you need a sign to tell you how to leave? 

You decided to get up or try one last time, and finally succeeded, kind of. You're able. You're, but when you walk, your balance isn't quite there. 

You use the table and chair to hold your weight as you walk across the room towards the exit sign. 

Maybe it really is that easy.

You spoke too soon.

You can't get the door open. You pull and tug on it, but it won't budge. It doesn't even budge slightly, as if the door were fake or something. 

You walk over to the other door, still using the things obstructing your way as a crutch. You arrive at the door and test out the doorknob to see if it will at least turn. 

Your hand lands on the door handle, and slowly you turn it. A smile slowly makes its way across your face as you turn the handle till it stops. 

Finally, a way out. You're so eager to leave that you push the door open as hard as you can and walk through the door in a rush. You don't pay attention and end up tripping over your own feet as you walk through the door. 

You fall flat on your face. The head smacks the ground on impact. When you go down, you sit up slowly, rubbing your head. You can already feel a bump starting to grow. 

You start to check yourself for more injuries, but you feel like someone is watching you. You lift your head to see more than 30 people staring at you. 

You turn your head around, following where they seem to be looking in hopes that it's not you that they're looking at, but when you turn around, all you see is a closet.

"What happened in the room with the flowers that I came out of?" you wondered.

You decided to stop making a fool of yourself and get up off the floor, and it's probably best that you address the room full of people and apologize for the interruption. You stand up off the ground, all while continuing to make eye contact with the floor. You dust yourself off and clear your throat before speaking. 

"I'm genuinely sorry for the intrusion. I seem to be lost. If any of you can point me in the right direction, I would greatly appreciate it. "

"I swear this school is haunted. Last week, when I was in the bathroom, I said Maddie's name, and the lights flickered." Your head snapped up to look at the guy who spoke. You're confused about how that hand has anything to do with what you just said.

You were about to say something when this girl from across the room cut you off.

"Right, so you're saying that Maddie died, haunted the school for a bit, and then came back to life?"

"No, I don't think—"

"You're right, you don't think."

"Ok, that's enough, you two. The door probably opened because the air conditioner turned on. Now, can we please get back to the lesson? That's a hand." 

You're so confused about what just happened, and kind of hurt that everyone's ignoring you like you're not there. You decided to approach the leader of the group, the woman at the front of the room, and ask her for help. 

You walk up to her and she's leaning against he desk reading some kind of paper, 

"Excuse me, madam. As I said earlier, I seem to be a bit lost. If you could help me out, I would greatly appreciate it. I'll be out of your hair as soon as possible."  You spoke as nicely as you could. Maybe your tone earlier was too harsh, and that's why they had disregarded you. 

"Ok, class tonight's homework will be pages 36-40. Enjoy the rest of your day." 

Right, so these people are asshole. 

She started to walk away from you, so you reached out to get her attention.

But when you hand connected with her shoulder, it just went straight through. 

You bring your hand up to your face to inspect it. You turn it and bend it every way possible, but you don't see anything wrong with it. So you try again, reaching out towards the lady, who's now sitting at her desk, slowly, as if she would blow up if you touched her. You reach out your hand to touch her shoulder. 

And again, it just goes right through. 

You back up slowly in a panic, your breath coming out in short pants. 

You began darting around the room. Only then did you start to notice the weird things. 

Black, white, asian, and Hispanic people are not only in the same room but sitting mixed together. The teacher herself is a woman of color. 

The people sitting all have strange clothes on; the girl wears these strange bloomers, and her skin is exposed to everyone. Everyone has these shiny metal things in their hands. They seem to be hypnotized by them. They even have wires connected to the metal brick that go all the way up to their ears. 

Your steps come to a halt. You hit something hard. You're too wrapped in the things happening in front of you to see what it is. Your chest starts to tighten. Your heart beats become faster and faster. 

You put your hands on your chest as if you were searching for something there to help you calm down. 

You start to slide down the door slowly as you begin to have a full-blown panic attack. 

That's when this high-pitched ringing sounds slowly through the room, causing you to put your hands to your ears. It stops soon after. That sound brought you back down to reality, but the feeling didn't last forever because your body fell back on the floor once the door was suddenly opened. 

The people who had been sitting down began to get up in droves and walk to the door, and the person who had just opened the door started to walk in. 

You quickly get up and move over to the side, allowing people to walk out and in, with you being stepped on... wait, can they step on you?

You get up off the floor and walk over to the lady you tried talking to earlier. She's standing in, but she's speaking to someone, the guy who walked in. 

"So they found her. Isn't that crazy? I was sure she was dead." The guy said\

"Me too. I felt bad for Simon and Nicole, but now she's back suddenly with no answer to her whereabouts, and Simon is missing. It's too much."

"I heard Maddie's coming back tomorrow. I feel bad for her. Between Simon missing and whatever happened to her, I've been thinking about letting her just pass my class with a B."

"I was thinking that too. It's far too much to catch up on."

 That's the second time you've heard that name, Maddie. You wonder if she had anything to do with why you're like how you are now. 

If they could see you, they would've said something by now, because while they were talking, you stood right in between them all up close and personal. Plus, you kept sticking your hand through their chest and pulling it back to see if they could feel it or would notice you. 

This is weird.

You walk out of the room into a hallway. You thought what you saw in the room was overwhelming, but once you walk into the hallway, you see an ocean of people talking all around. So many people, each person so different from the next. 

Guys in such tight pants, you can see almost everything. Girls wear shorts, pants, underwear you have ever seen, and their breasts look as if they are about to fall out of their shirts. 

You walk through the hall, slowly taking in everything, like a little kid in a candy shop. Your eyes are wide open, amazed by everything you see. People are showing public displays of affection just out in the open, everyone just kissing girls kissing girls, white women kissing black men, guys kissing other guys.

 Which, actually, you had a lot of back home, but it always happened behind closed doors. 

The sheer number of people and the noise they made was overwhelming. Tiny metal doors were slamming, people were yelling, and the sounds of music were coming from all over. You need a second to breathe. You decide to go into the next room. You see the door, and you walk fast into the room, just wanting to get away from the noise. As soon as you enter the room, you slam the door shut. 

This causes the people in the room to jump. You go to say sorry, but immediately stop yourself, realizing they couldn't hear or see you. 

You sit at the desk furthest from the group as you take a break from the noise. 

You wonder what the group is talking about. Everyone is huddled in a circle, and they all seem to be serious. They all keep whispering. Then, one of the have a sudden outburst, but instantly calms down, and then they go right back to whispering. 

This group of people is very different from the rest that you've seen before. Each one is dressed significantly differently from the others; their clothes and hairstyles are different, as if they are all from a different time. 

You must've been staring for too long and hard because one of the boys started staring right back at you . . .

Wait. 

He's staring right back at you. 

You turn your head and look over your shoulders as you search for something behind you that he could possibly be looking at, but you find nothing. 

You hop off the desk and take a step towards the guy. You raise your hand and give a small wave.

And to your surprise, he waves right back.

You start jumping up and down with excitement. "Oh my gosh, you can see me, can't you? You can see me!" you yell at him, which causes the whole group to turn around and look in your direction. 

This makes you even more excited. "Finally!" You scream, then start to walk over to them, but you stop still, a bit away from them. "I thought no one could see. Everyone I talked to pretended as if I wasn't there, and my hand, oh my, my hand went straight through this woman's body like—"

"I'm sorry, and you are." You were cut off by this woman in all black; she was eating some kind of sucker. 

You were about to be taken aback by her rude tone, but you had just interrupted their meeting and screamed in her face, out of excitement, but screamed nevertheless. 

You were about to answer her when the extremely tall guy standing next to her beat you to it. 

"Yeah, cause I've been here long enough to know everyone, and I've never seen you." 

"Well, I—"you started, but again were cut off.

"Be nice, maybe she was looping somewhere we couldn't see. What's your name, and what year did you die?" This guy was friendly; he was shorter than the other guy and seemed nicer, too. He wore glasses. 

His words suddenly dawned on you, " I-I'm dead?" You asked 

"We don't have time for this," the lady from before had said. 

"Be nice, she's just a little confused,"  the guy you had been staring at earlier said. 

"Right, and who's going to help her? We're still not sure how you got here, pussy toes."

He ignored her and came closer. 

"My name's Simon. What's your?" 

You told him your name, which he repeated back to you, then gave you a small smile. 

"What's the last thing you remember?" he asked you.

You hadn't thought about that before. As you tried to think back, you noticed everyone's eyes fixed on you, making you feel shy in their presence. 

The guy had stepped in front of your view, blocking them from your eyesight. 

"Don't focus on them, focus on me, close your eyes and think. What's the last thing you remember?"

You close your eyes, take a deep breath, and start to think back on the last thing you remember. 

It's hard, you're not sure what you're looking for, 

It takes you a minute to find it, 

Then a second to understand it. 

As soon as you open your eyes. And you lock eyes with Simions. 

"I remember, . . . I'm dead, I'm really dead." 

"Right, boo hoo, when did you die, sweet cheeks?" 

"Rhonda!" The guy with the glasses groaned

"51"

"Bullshit," the girl who they call Rhonda said 

Again, the one with the glass calls her. 

"What, the school wasn't even here in 1951?"

"She said Split River didn't open up till 1956," this girl with bob and glass said from the back of the group.

"See, thank you, Janet," Rhonda said 

"She clearly is just a bit confused, I'm just saying you could be a bit nicer," Simion tried to explain, to which Rhonda took offense too. 

"This is me being nice, we just don't have time to baby someone through their death right now."

This caused an argument, but you paid no mind. Honestly, you were really confused by what year they kept saying. You're confused about a lot, but not about the year you died. 

"Excuse me," you tried to interject, but to no avail.

"Excuse me," you said a bit louder, but still no luck.

"Excuse me!" You yelled, but it got their attention.

"I didn't say I died in 1951," you say, a bit uneasy.

"I mean, you did, but fine, that year did you die?" Rhonda asked clearly about this situation.

"I mean, I did die 51, but I died 1651" 

Everyone's eyes are wide as they look at you, and as if their brains were in sync, they all take a big step away from you. 

*

*

*

"What year were you born?" asked the tall boy, whose name you think, if you heard the other correctly, was Wally

"1644" 

"Who's the president?" asked the boy with a glass.

"I don't know what that is 

"Ahha," said Wally as he pointed a finger towards you.

"America didn't have its first president till 1789, put your hand down."' Sighed Simon 

"How old are you?" Janet asked. 

"17"

"How did you die?" Asked this guy was long blonde hair

You looked down at your hands as you played with your fingers, you thought on it for a second, you definitely remembered how you died, you're honestly surprised that you forgot. But you are a little hesitant to share it with the group. 

Honesty is the best policy, right?

"I was burned alive." 

"In a fire," Janet quickly asked you. 

"No" 

"Mining accident," asked Wally.

"Wally" Simion something 

"What this chicks ike mad old"

"So, how then, baby face?" asked Rhonda.

You blow out a puff of air before you speak, "you know" your eyes feel to your lap, unable to meet theirs, during a... witch trial."

You thought they jumped back before when you told them about the year you died, but now each of them somehow jumped clear across the room and stood on the other side of the wall. 

*

*

*

The group had moved away from you and huddled in a corner. They tried to be quiet and whisper among themselves, but it wasn't really working. You couldn't hear their entire conversation, but you caught snippets of it. 

"I mean, she looks the part,"  someone said. Then the whole group turned around and looked at you.

"Yeah," they all whispered to themselves as they turned around. 

You decided to get up and explore the new world or the time you're in, which sparked your curiosity. You walk up to the large desk at the front of the classroom and see a larger version of the glowing brick that you'd seen everyone using earlier. The lady from earlier had one of these big bricks at her table, too. 

You look down and see a log covered in letters and numbers, which appears to be connected to the big brick. You looked back up at the group and saw them still talking in the circle, so you decided to reach out and touch the log before anyone could stop you. 

You touched a letter, and as soon as you did, something popped up on the big brick. 

"YouTube," you whispered, reading the brick. 

You were examining the brick when, suddenly, a person jumped up and started moving inside it. They were moving around and talking, but they also had horses in there, grazing in the grassland. 

"Wow," you said as you reached out to touch the brick, but to your surprise, your hand didn't go through it; instead, it bounced back. You tried again and still, your hand couldn't reach through it, so you pushed at it again, harder than the last time. 

You jumped back and looked at the group, who were looking right back at you after hearing the big brick crash onto the floor.

"Sorry?"

"Look, we don't have time for this. Just someone keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn't somehow kill herself again>' Rhonda said, then walked out of the room. 

You watched the rest of the group all look at each other awkwardly, and never heard Wally say "not it." 

That's when Simion sighed and said, 'Fine.' The group then approached you, each of them introducing themselves before walking out of the room. 

"Sup, I'm Wally."

"Pleased to meet you, I'm Janet."

"Hey, I'm Charlie."

"Hi, I'm Yuri."

"How's it going? I'm Quinn."

You whisper hi back to all of them and tell them your name each time

Last was Simon, he seemed the sweetest out of them all

He walked up to you, holding out his hand to shake yours; you're yours. You were surprised, as he was the only one who had done that so far, "a true gentleman," you thought. 

You're about to reach out to take his hand, but stop yourself. 

You don't know why, but there was a weight on your shoulders, almost like an attempt to keep your hand down,

You push the feeling aside and take his hand into yours anyway. You give him a smile back and tell him your name.

"It's very nice to meet you, I'm Simon." 

 This handshake felt laced with an unspoken tension, as if something was to follow. 

 It didn't feel as if you were shaking hands with the devil, but maybe like you're sealing a deal with unknown consequences.  

You shake off the feeling and drop his hand.

"Shall I show you around? I'm—"He stopped to clear his throat, but soon started to cough.

"You ok?" you asked, but he just nodded his head and held up his finger.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, you would think because the ghost water wouldn't go down the wrong pipe. Anyways, like I was saying, shall I show you around? I'm sure many things need explanation. 

You nod your head eagerly in response, which causes him to laugh. 

"Well, follow me." 

"I uh- " You went to speak but then remembered the man from earlier who was still standing there, so trying to think quickly, you said the first thing that came to your mind. 

"Hey, bro, I left my key. I know I need to stop doing that. Mom's going to kill me one day",  you said to the mystery man as your eyes flicked back and forth between him and the man at the end of the hall.

You were praying that he would catch on and let you in even though you didn't know him and he didn't know you.

He squinted his eyes down at you, then looked out his door and down the hall towards where you were glancing. He nodded his head toward the stranger. 

"Sup," the guy said to the one down the hall.

The man still didn't look convinced, but it didn't matter now that you had this stranger playing along with you.

The man looked down towards you once more, then again at the man down the hall. He threw his hands up in defense as he spoke, "What? We have different moms." 

You stood there for a second, laughing awkwardly, before the man stepped back, allowing you into his home. As soon as you crossed the door, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. 

The man shut the door and turned towards you, eyeing you for a second 

"Don't worry; he fought in World War 3, I think. He thinks he's the neighborhood watch or something", the man said to you as he walked to the kitchen. 

He opened the fridge and grabbed a beer. It was only 2 pm where you were, but you guess it was 5 o'clock somewhere. 

"Want one," he asked. He stretched his arm out towards you with a beer in his hand. 

"No, Thank you." 

He shrugged as he walked across the kitchen to the counter to pop the top off. 

You glanced around the apartment. It was nice but very, very messy. There were beer cans everywhere and takeout containers. The whole room smelled like the boys' locker room. 

Your fingers gripped the bag on your shoulder tighter as you started to second guess, knocking on his door. 

Silence fell over the two of you. You weren't sure what to say. He obviously wasn't the man you were looking for, but you didn't want to leave just yet, just in case that man was still out there. 

"So….. why are you wandering around the building? Are you lost? Are you looking for someone? I know pretty much everyone in the building. If you tell me who, I can tell you what floor and apartment." 

"Um", you were hesitant. You didn't know this man, and you didn't feel like sharing your business with every stranger who walked past. But at the same time, you were all out of leads and needed to be pointed in some direction. Honestly, you had nothing to lose. 

You dug in your backpack, looking for the paper the police officer gave you with the name and address of the person you were looking for. After a couple of minutes of digging, you found it. Folded with the paper was a picture of the man you were looking for, the only picture you had of him. You passed the paper along with the picture to the man.

"Yeah, umm, I'm looking for that man. A police officer told me I could find him here, but clearly, he's mistaken. Maybe he got the apartment number wrong, or maybe the guy hasn't updated his address yet. Do you perhaps know where I could find him?"  You rushed through words as you spoke.  You were nervous either way if he had known the guy or not. 

He didn't answer your question; instead, he gave one back to you: "Where did you get this"?  He looked up as he spoke, now meeting your eyes. 

You stepped forward and pointed to the women in the photo cuddled up next to him. 

"You see that woman right there? She's my mom." You smiled down at the photo, admiring it as if you hadn't seen it a thousand times before. 

The man's eyes shifted towards you for a second then back down to the photo, "and who that man next to her." 

"His name is Luke Maybank, and my mother said he's my father." 

The man suddenly pushed the photo into your hands and started to back away from you, as if suddenly aware of your closeness. He ran his fingers through his hair as he stared into the distance, his face scrunching up. 

You were confused by his reaction. Does he know this man after all? Could he help you find your father?

"Do you know this man? Do you know where I can find him?" You eagerly asked him, slowly walking towards him. 

The man continued to back away from you slowly. He shook his head back and forth as he spoke, "Nah, he's long gone. I don't know where he's at now, but trust me, you're better off without him. " 

Better off without him? You questioned what he meant.

"How do you know that? How do you know this man?"

"I know him because . . ." 

"Because … matter of a fact, who are you?" agitation could be heard in your voice as you spoke 

"My name is JJ Maybank." 

"May- Maybank, you tell me that you-"

"Yep, I'm his son." 

You stood there in shock. You opened and closed your mouth, unable to speak.

"Your brother." 

************************

You were now sitting on the couch, watching JJ pace back and forth in front of you. 

He pointed down at you, waving his hand around. "Okay, break it down for me again." 

Your head fell into your hands. You were exhausted. You'd been telling him the same story over and over again for over an hour. 

"My mom and I are going through old photos on her bed. She pulls out a photo from when she was younger. The photo I gave you. I asked her who the man next to her was, and she said he was your father. His name is Luke." 

"Luke, I am your father," JJ spoke in a deep voice. 

"What?" You asked, confused, which made JJ stop his frantic pacing and look at you

"You've never seen StarWars" 

"No" 

"We'll come back to that. So then your mom said that's your father; his name is Luke Maybank."

"No, I got that from the police officers down at the station, and they gave me this address."

"Cool, cool, okay. Well, all we have to do is ask your mom a couple of questions, and maybe she can clear this up for us." 

"We can't." 

"Uhh, why not." 

"She's dead, died a month ago." 

"Way to go, JJ," he whispered to himself. "Look, I-" he stared before you cut him off. 

"It's fine; there's no need to say sorry. I'm good; I just thought I would come looking for the only other family I thought I had left ….." 

"Well, I can't tell you where he's at. The last time I saw him, he was sailing away….

 in a stolen boat…..

 With stolen drugs in his pocket ......

escaping from the cops …..

After he broke out of jail."

"Wow," you said shocked 

"Yeah," he said, dragging the word out as he spoke. 

"That's a lot." 

"Yeah", he said with a slight chuckle which made you laugh too. 

A silence started to fall over the two of you, but you broke it with your question.

 "Is he really that bad? Would I be better off without him?"

JJ didn't answer you. He just nodded his head 

"Why? Because of his run-ins with the law." 

"Nahh, we've all had run-ins with the law." 

"Then what," you asked 

You know you're asking a lot of a person you just met, brother or not. But you've traveled all this way to find this man, and now you just, what, are you supposed to give up on finding him? You want an answer; you need one, but the way JJ's eyes are tearing up, you start to second-guess asking. 

"You don't have to share. I'm sorry for asking." 

JJ wiped his nose with the back of his hand. He straightened up, looking back towards you after having turned away from you when his eyes started to fill with water. 

"It's fine, yeah, it's whatever." 

"It's not whatever, but I'll stop asking", you said, giving him a small smile, which he returned. 

You got up and grabbed your bag, deciding it was time to leave. 

As you walked to the door, you heard JJ hot on heels. 

You reached down to grab the door, but JJ placed his hand on top of yours, stopping you.

"What, uh, I mean, where you going? You got a hotel you staying at?" 

"Why," you asked 

He shrugged his shoulders up and down as he started to back up from you 

"I don't know. I was thinking, uh, that maybe we could get some food or something. Talk get to know each other." 

Although the idea didn't seem crazy, you didn't want to build something just to leave. 

"I don't. . .  , JJ I only came to town to find my dad now that I know he's not here and that he isn't the best man. I think I should just move on with my life and settle down somewhere." 

"You not going back to your mom's house?" He sounded concerned as he spoke 

"No, I sold the house to pay my mom's medical bills." 

"So where you going." 

"Wherever the bus takes me."  

"Nope, that's not going to work. You're going to stay here with me", he said, leaving no room for an argument as he walked away.

"JJ, we just met. You don't know me; I don't know you." 

"I don't need to know you; you're my sister," he said, stating the obvious. 

"Yeah, but you don't know me; everything I just told you could be a lie. I could actually be here to murder you." 

"Well, were you" 

"Was I what" 

"Lying"

"No"

"Well then, problem solved" 

"I -"you tried to speak but lost the word 

You just stand there looking at him. He looks at you with the most goofy grin spread across his face. 

You don't know who's crazier, JJ for offering or you for considering. 

"Well, where would I sleep? Cause the couch can only do for so many weeks." 

"Yesss," JJ whipped out as he did a little fist bump in victory. 

He walked over to the furthest door to the left and threw the door wide open. You walked closer to get a better look. It was a bedroom. It was nice— small but nice. It had a closet, dresser, nightstand, and a twin-size bed against the wall. It was pretty clean, too. Actually, it seemed like the cleanest room in the house. 

You looked over to find JJ leaning against the door frame, smiling at you as if he had won. 

"We just met," you stated once again 

"And?" 

"You're crazy." 

"You are too", he said before leaning closer to you and whispering, "It must run in the family." 

You playfully pushed him away as you stared at him, shock written all over your face. 

"I don't have any rent money." 

"It's fine. You'll find a job. I know some people."  He spoke casually, but you could tell by his eyes that he was anxiously awaiting your final answer. 

You just met this man, literally two hours ago. Are you seriously about to live with him? He could be a serial killer, and he might not even be your brother. Millions of reasons why you shouldn't run through your head, but it didn't matter because you already made up your mind. If he really is your brother, he's all you have left, and after everything you've gone through, regardless of the fact that you barely know him, you're not willing to give that up. 

"So what's there to eat around here", you asked, genuinely smiling for the first in months.

"Hell Yeah," JJ yelled in excitement, then threw his arm around your shoulder, which you quickly shoved off. 

"Yep, sorry. We got pretty much everything and obviously fresh seafood, " he said, walking towards the fridge, which had a bunch of takeout menus on it. 

"Mmm, Maybe seafood. I've never had it," you said, looking over one of the menus. 

JJ turned to you in shock as he gasped loudly, "You've never had seafood." 

"No, is it good" 

"The best. Here, we'll order from there. I can get us a discount. I know the people who run the restaurant," he said as he passed you to a menu for The Wreck. 

You started to glance over the menu but got distracted when you caught JJ looking down at you. 

"What ?" You asked 

"Nothing. Just realizing there's a lot I have to teach you, little sis." 

"Little? What year were you born." 

"2004"

"I'm sure I have just as much to teach you, little brother,"  you said, laughing as you walked away to find your phone.

JJ quickly followed you, clearly in disbelief. "There is no way you were born in what year." 

"2003, little brother" 

"Wowww" 

"Yep, now come on. I'm hungry", you said as you began dialing the restaurant's number on your phone before handing it to JJ. 

You glance up at him, and as you watch him order your guys' food, you can't help but smile. This is crazy—you’re crazy, he's crazy. You just met this man, and yeah, he's your brother, but you don't know him. This is too soon and crazy. 

You keep saying this to yourself, but you don't seem to truly care 

Shit