(⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)

losing a fp feels like you just got your soul ripped out and now you're not even a human being anymore.

It is hard resisting being so clingy and begging for constant attention. But I know it is wrong. But. I still yearn so badly for their complete attention. It is so hard not talking to them and giving them space. All I do is wait for their attention.

it's always "i love you even with your disorder!" until they don't understand your symptoms

im a terrible person.

having bpd is like u do one little thing wrong and suddenly you want to kill yourself, you think you're the worst person alive, you think that the person you messed things up with is leaving you, you think they hate you, you're never going to be forgiven, they don't care about you or your apologies, they don't understand you didn't mean it, wait maybe they're the worst person ever, wait no im just crazy, why am i like this, this disorder is gonna make me kill myself one day. :3 ^__^

I can't help but stalk your accounts :( I need to know if you're on, what you're doing, what you're thinking about, if you're thinking of me, if you're avoiding me. I need to know everything you do and think.

When I say I want someone obsessed with me, I mean that they're so obsessed that the thought of me leaving fills them with nauseating dread every second I'm not right under their nose. I want my absence to leave them feeling sick and vacant. I mean that they're so obsessed that every time they're having a conversation with somebody else, their mind wanders in boredom, just wishing it were with me. I want someone who panics when I mention another persons name and follows up with 20 questions in suspicion about the person I've brought up. I want to be creeped out, then backed into a corner, unable to escape the hold they have on me.

so you really want a stalker bf? someone who is possessed and obsessed with you? watching all your steps and thinking about killing everyone who looks at you? sending people to hurt everyone who messages you, since he knows people all around the country? are you sure u want that?

im sorry im a terrible person. please know im trying. i dont like who i am, who would like this? who would want to be like this? i hate myself and i hate how i treat others and how my brain is wired and how i hold everyone to such a high standard. im sick of myself.