my sane blog

part of me wants to get better and be better but the other part of me wants to completely destroy myself and become unrecognizable to everyone around me and stop being so nice

make me worse and force me to do unspeakable things

im sorry im a terrible person. please know im trying. i dont like who i am, who would like this? who would want to be like this? i hate myself and i hate how i treat others and how my brain is wired and how i hold everyone to such a high standard. im sick of myself.

having bpd is like u do one little thing wrong and suddenly you want to kill yourself, you think you're the worst person alive, you think that the person you messed things up with is leaving you, you think they hate you, you're never going to be forgiven, they don't care about you or your apologies, they don't understand you didn't mean it, wait maybe they're the worst person ever, wait no im just crazy, why am i like this, this disorder is gonna make me kill myself one day. :3 ^__^