the silence was deafening, and while she would typically feel it a more comfortable for Xiao, the question burned on the tip of her tongue. silenced by the apprehension to dredge up bad memories â the ordeal was a frightening prospect on the cusp of reality hadnât it been for Zhongliâs saving grace, but Xiao experienced far more than any in those depths. the anguish of a dear friend, the tragic end to his tale â a fate he was prepared to shoulder if it meant everyone else could escape. every time the mere thought glanced her way, her heart tightened with suffocating distress. by a miracle, it was no more than a âwhat-ifâ, but the possibility was there. lingering. ready to snatch away anyone else. and Lumine would be incapable of doing anything.
when she reached for Aether, her hand couldnât reach. when she reached for Xiao, her hand couldnât reach. when she reached for Katheryne and Nahida, her hand couldnât reach. loss was not new to her, like many in Teyvat, sheâd the experience of a bitter parting and the door sealed tight without the passage of closure. how longer before their luck ran out and that inability to grasp hold of someone dear unavoidable saw their blood splatter upon her fingertips, their lifeless body crumple before her eyes? it was an unhelpful line of thinking, pessimistic and a blight upon their time together, though the worry was undeniably in the back of her mind. when she contemplated that, one day, her way would part with all her friends, it was through passing the sky or their lifetimes reaching a natural conclusion, not⌠that.
but Teppei, Arama⌠so very nearly Dunyarzad and XiaoâŚ
her gold met his when so directly he addressed it. as skilled as she were managing her emotions and keeping them under wraps when need be, that nightmare was one that could not be shied away from so easily. it scared her â more than the Abyss, more than anything. âyouâre alright⌠right?â it might have been in reference specifically to that ordeal, or their current predicament trapped within the city, her words were unclear as her thoughts jumbled.
itâs a question he should have seen coming, likely regarding the events within the Chasm. theyâd had a brief conversation shortly after and then parted ways, she seemed fine then, but perhaps it plagued her more than she let on. thereâs no gentle way of approaching what occurred in those depths. not after everything they had seen.
Xiao nods slightly. âfor now, yes.â but she still hasnât answered his own hidden inquiry so he asks directly instead. âwhat about you? you rarely speak of your own troubles, and are always too focused on others around you.â is it not right that she takes a moment of pause to consider herself first for once? when had been the last time Lumine allowed it? wanting to protect others is understandable, though not everyone can be saved, some even prefer it that way. this may be difficult to accept but a personâs wishes must be honoured.
â...if you arenât careful, you may not find yourself willing to keep up social activities.â by no means is he familiar with this on a personal level, there have been those who were troubled by it with himself as a passing witness to mumbled worries.
another thing â what does Paimon make of this? unless she doesnât know. it wouldnât be so strange to imagine Lumine might keep certain thoughts tucked out of reach. many others do the same, and it isnât just limited to mortals... gods also have their own secrets they donât wish to share. âshould we move somewhere quiet? in case you are concerned about others listening in.â