What's a brain-to-mouth filter?

Okay, I have been trying to not make this post, but more and more people in the fandom are slowly driving themselves and other people crazy over having a weird feeling about Even and Isak at the end of season 3. 

That weird feeling isn’t coming from nowhere. The end of the season was happy and peaceful, but something was definitely off. 

In order to get there we need to start at an earlier point of the season: 

Yes. The pool scene. See, Isak is 17 years old. He has changed himself to fit in so desperately because he was so scared of being gay, being different. This scene was a step towards his real self, after all that had happened previously: joining Even after he supposedly forgot his ID, making eye contact with Even as they were both making out with the girls and so on. 

At this point, Isak was, even if it was just for a moment, embracing himself and his sexuality. “This guys likes me and I like him, that’s all that matters for the moment.” And this is, I’m 100% sure, where his true character development started. 

Now begins the Honeymoon Phase. Every couple has these. Everything seems picture-perfect. You ignore each other’s flaws and anything that could possibly be an issue in the relationship is being ignored because of course, both parties in the relationship think that this is how it’s always going to be and that it’s never ending. So, of course, in the beginning it didn’t feel much like an issue when Isak mentioned that he’d be better off without mentally ill people in his life. Statistically the honeymoon phase lasts 6 months. But…

The kitchen scene happened. For Isak and Even, it still belonged to the Honeymoon Phase. I, personally, felt like something was off. Surely, Even was acting in love, but so much that even Isak was overwhelmed by it. In my opinion, in love or not, Even was way too ecstatic about being there, being with Isak. It didn’t suit his character the way it was portrayed before and even though I didn’t think about anything bad at that point, it was clear to me that this was the beginning of the manic episode kicking in. 

This was around the time Isak realized something was off. As a side note, I’d like to mention that this was a perfect representation of a manic episode. Not every manic episode is 24 hours of pure ecstasy. It’s a very internal act, the person feeling like being under electricity. It’s up to their own condition if and for how long they can keep it together. Some can never keep it together, some can but lose it eventually. This is what happened with Even. He was acting normal. Happy, but normal. Until happiness turned into a trigger for his ecstasy and he lost it when talking about marrying Isak. Later in that clip we could see Isak’s face fall, because he captured the moment and noticed that something was off with Even. (I was incabable of finding a gif, sorry) 

There were several similar moments like this, which Isak seemed to have not noticed because he was asleep. For once, Even’s restlessness at night, how he was constantly walking the hotel room. Of course Isak noticed that Even wasn’t sleeping, but at these times he didn’t think it could be something bad. 

I skipped the Even-leaving-the-hotel-entirely-naked bit because that’s when we all knew what was going on, even before Sonja came up and said something. I’d like to mention this part tho, because Sonja said something that hit Isak. 

She was basically implying that Even’s feelings for Isak weren’t love, but mania. People who are aware of bipolar disorder know that this couldn’t have been true. But Isak, a 17 year old, who has only faced the mental illness of his mother before, did something every 17 year old would’ve done: He believed her. At least for the rest of the night or the weekend, Isak spent wondering how much truth there was to Sonja’s words. 

Then there is Magnus Fossbakken, actual hero of 2016. He says something that Isak needed to hear in order to make a move towards Even. “She’s not crazy, she’s bipolar.” Sure, it was about his mother but it applies to every person with a mental illness. Isak has lived with his mother long enough to assume that mentally ill = crazy. Magnus, however, tells him the complete opposite. 

So Isak tries reaching out to Even. And this is where for Isak, the exhausting part began.

Isak tried reaching out to Even. He doesn’t get a reply once, but he already guesses it’s because he’s having a depressed episode now, after Magnus told him it could be. Still, he spends the entire week stressing about it, his mind is filled with doubts, which is very clear when he’s talking to his dad, telling him that it’s over, plus the constant advice he’s taking from his friends. 

The night of the concert comes, It’s visible that Isak is still worried when he approaches his parents. Then he gets a text from Even, and at first Isak smiles because he’s taking it as a good sign. 

Then, however, it is again very clear that Isak has spent the entire week stressing and worrying about Even, because he suddenly realizes that something about that message is off. Isak is terrified. 

When he finally gets to the school, telling Even that he’s not alone… that is Isak Valtersen, accepting Even Bech Næsheim’s mental illness. But accepting it does not equal knowing everything about it. 

Isak is taking care of Even. He’s worried about Even’s well-being more than about his own. He’s worried if he’s handling this entire situation well and he wants to do the best that he can, so he does make the mistake to let the Kollektivet start an Even-watch. 

Isak is forgetting about himself, yet, still quite happy because he knows where Even is, what Even is doing. And eventually, Even does get better and we can thank the Kollektivet and Isak, but there’s also some down-sides to that. 

I didn’t mention this earlier in the post, but I remember quite well, in 8:10 Even was talking about Sonja and how she always tries to be in control of him, making it very clear that this is why he’d detached from her. 

So, the kitchen scene in 10:10 triggered my senses. Since I’m doing this in order, that scene comes before my final-final thoughts. 

Isak has spent the past week watching over Even, even involving his flatmates so he’d be constantly insured Even is doing good and he’s being watched. In the kitchen, he’s telling Even that he’s not getting any of the weed because it’s bad for him. These originally weren’t even Isak’s words, they were Sonja’s. Isak just straight-up assumed that Sonja was right and took it over into his own relationship with Even. He’s already showing controlling behaviour. 

Isak said he doesn’t know if Even is the man of his dreams and for the rest of his life. And I am 100% sure that this has 2 reasons. 

1 - In the past week alone, Isak has learnt to take things minute by minute, day by day. And that’s what he’s doing now. The thought of thinking about being with Even in 10 years doesn’t appear here. He can think about the next minute, or about the next day. 

2 - Isak has come to figure that he needs to get to know Even and his mental illness better before he can come up and say “Hey, I’m going to marry this guy and spend my life with him.” The past week with Even has shown him that he’s not only dating that boy, but also, in a way, his mental illness. In order to know if Even is the man of his dreams, Isak will have to learn to fully get to know the unpredicable ways of Even’s illness and also understand that hell can break loose even when everything in Even’s life seems okay for the moment. And Isak knows that.

I’ve had people tell me that Isak doesn’t seem as much in love anymore as he did in the beginning, and I raise you a simple reason: 

Isak still loves Even. So much that, in the past 2 weeks, he spent all of his energy into trying to find ways to make Even feel better. Isak simply is tired. While Even regained energy from being around people he loves and who love him, Isak has lost a lot of energy trying to regain Even’s, plus planning the Kosegruppa party plus figuring himself out in the past months. So a thing that Isak needs to learn as well is that someone else’s mental illness can exhaust him if he puts too much into it. 

Even doesn’t need a full-on 24/7 care program when he’s down or manic, he just needs someone who doesn’t worry but is still there for him as mental support. 

Now, where does the unwell feeling come from when the episode itself seemed happy? Let’s be real, the ending was somewhat weird. 

I do not think that they are going to break Even and Isak up. For this, they gave too much hope for mentally ill people who’ve always struggled with the thought of never being lovable enough hence to their condictions and for lgbt+ people who spent ages trying to avoid figuring themselves out because they are scared of being different. 

I do think, however, and I take this as an obvious message from Skam, that if we get to see more of Even and Isak (at this point I’m 80% sure we’ll get an Even season next), we will get a lot of drama and new obstacles for Isak and Even in their relationship. Isak slowly taking control of Even is probably one of the main issues that could cause a lot of trouble between the two of them. 

Generally, I’m 100% sure we’ll be fine in the end and completely satisfied with their story, but we will suffer from several heart attacks and anxious days. 

Just don’t stress about it, Julie knows exactly what she’s doing.