Nox's Den of Dreams, Discord, and Debauchery

With the most important steps in front of us, it is a miracle we can get anywhere at all with how many other ways we can look at them.  Different branches split off into infinity to distract and draw our attention away even if it still remains impossible to be anywhere but the one you are on.

My eyes feel heavy, it’s not the teacher’s fault the lecture is actually very entertaining.  Yet I feel myself trapped at this desk, it feels wrong, out of place.  This morning must have been a hectic one as I barely remember getting ready for the day.  Perhaps it was just that the routine had grown so engraved in my mind that I didn’t process it to memory the exact morning that had just happened.  I couldn’t even tell what period it was, second perhaps my groggy mind had simply glazed over the first and left it behind as useless.  

An exclamation of discovery was sounded out, followed by shrinking back into the desk as it drew the attention of the teacher and others around him.  It wasn’t stimulating because the words were familiar, as if the lesson was something he had already sat through.  He managed to stay out of the limelight for the rest of the time in the prison like room  The walls had seemed to collapse in on him ever since he had realized the connection.  Not that he could place what was so important about it.

As the professor brought the talk to it’s conclusion the bell sounded and many of the students began filing out, leaving a few huddled around the boy that had interrupted the session.  The three new faces were laughing and joking with him, lighthearted jabs accusing him of falling asleep in class again.  He swore up and down that it wasn’t that simple, that he wasn’t asleep, maybe just daydreaming.

“Right so you felt like you were in a dream, you have some pretty bad imagination then.”  The first boy laughed.

“No, that’s not what happened.  I just had this feeling I had heard everything before is all.”  Warren seemed to grow more and more embarrassed with every passing word.

“The lectures are pretty boring, maybe you just read ahead again.  You are just too smart for the room after all.”  The second boy, nudged elbows with the first and laughed again, stopping short as they saw the victim’s face.  “Only teasing, he is a bore that’s all man.”

The lone female of the group just shook her head and stood up, pausing for a moment as if she was going to say something before she turned on a dime and headed for an exit.  Stunned the three just looked on and watched her leave, eyes meeting each other before the boy stood and darted off after her.  It was strange as he left the classroom, the halls seemed busier than normal.  Considering he was late to leave the class, the throngs of students that walked around him was odd.  Eventually being engulfed like a tidal wave by the masses.  He could hear his friends calling out to him, the distance slowly seeming farther and farther away until they seemed like a memory.

The hallway had become chaos in all forms, where he had entered no longer seemed to be there, and the alluring figure that had drawn him in had also vanished.  If only he could just keep walking forward, a hallway could only extend in one direction and it had to end at some point.  The blurred forms of the other students began to twist and contort around him until they were towering beyond his vision.  His movement halted, a burning sensation in his chest erupted with a loud scream.

*****

A startled noise came from behind him and he pulled his hand away from the pan that was sizzling on the stove.  He looked back over at his wife who had a look of pure worry written across her features.  Instinctively he grabbed his hand to sell the illusion that he had burned it, though he wasn’t really sure why he needed to do that.

“It’s just something minor, didn’t mean to give you a start.”

She let out a sigh of relief, her hand clutched at her heart.  “That was quite the sound for something minor, if it’s bad you need to have it looked at, it’s their job to do so.”

“Yes, I’ll have them take a look at it before I head to class.  I’m gonna leave now so I can.”  He hurried out of the room still leaving his wife in a bit of a shock.  Finishing up what he needed to leave and only calling out to her as he slipped out the door.

The school wasn’t that far down the way he was thankful for as it greatly cut down on his expenses.  Affording anything travel related was inflated beyond sense, greed was the only way to survive.  Hurried steps brought him to the grounds in record time, a hastily packed briefcase in his unblemished hand.  It was quite the unusual morning already, he had no idea what noise she was referring to, or why he wanted to act like he was hurt.  He had been under a lot of stress at work, perhaps it was a rough night of sleep that had him groggy.  It was a natural sign of growing up to distinguish between important and unimportant, dreams were not something to lose sleep over.  He stopped in his tracks and laughed at the sentiment, the act drew the attention of several of the passing students that gave him a wide berth.

He heard the sound of school bells chiming and broke free from his levity to hurry onward to his class.  From there the day progressed rather normally, lectures given and homework were assigned.  Even to him the words droned out, but the curriculum was strict no matter how many times he had made his unhappiness known they made it clear it was the only way to keep his job.  He had dreamed of fun and exciting classes with projects, like the way he was taught by his favorite teachers.  There was only one interruption today, by a student he didn’t recognize at first.  Before he could call him down however the boy vanished out of the classroom.  It was another detail to be forgotten, maybe it was all his own wake up call.  Changes needed to happen and he was in charge of his classroom, all that mattered was results.

A smile crept across his face, it was resolved, he’d start making adjustments with the coming week.  With that he resumed packing up his books and folders, in his musings he had missed the absence of the young voices.  They were gone, he didn’t even remember hearing the door shut.  Curiosity peaking he moved around his desk and pushed open the door.  It was creaky as always, yet beyond the open portal was an empty hall, devoid of every form of student that was so often clamoring around between classes.  It was barren, not a squeak of a sneaker or general rabble that students gave each other as they pushed themselves along.  He closed the door abruptly and shook his head a few times to clear the thoughts.  Unless it was an emergency he missed, it just had to be a trick of the mind.

Yet as he pulled back and gazed upon his classroom he found it expanding upwards, adding row after row of empty seats that could only be described as nosebleeds.  Noise had suddenly swarmed in with the shifting room, the noise so shrill it caused him to recoil.  Each time he blinked he could see figures in the seats, filling each row as it stretched upwards.  The silhouettes took all shapes and sizes, all glaring down at him.  When he finally gathered his wits about him he made a run for it, exiting into his prep room.  The room was dark, and as he walked further into it, he realized quickly that it extended far beyond where it should have ended.

********

There was a shrill cry out that broke the silence around her, realizing it was her own voice she looked up at the man on top of her.  His eyes were closed seeming to enjoy the noise, it allowed her eyes to frantically scan the room.  It was familiar, it was a teacher’s room and it was one that she had seen quite often.  It took awhile for her to recognize his face, the action took long enough for worry to start to show on her features.  Her hands clutched onto the worn fabric of the couch, her breathing finally coming back to normal as she started to accept what was going on.  It didn’t take long for her to realize how much fun it all was, playing the part well as time went on and she was praised for her renewed enthusiasm.

As a bell rang in the distance and with the deed completed, he was quick to get up and dressed.  He placed all of his accessories on and headed out of the room to leave her alone with her thoughts in the room.  She sat there in bliss and after glow, at least her physical form was.  Mentally she was trying to piece together the day as it had gone, the last thing she remembered was this.  She brought a hand up to run down between her legs, where she patted and felt around with a curious look on her face.  She shrugged and fell back against the couch with a sigh, the sound of her flopping was accompanied by a high pitched giggle that came from beside her.

Sitting up with a start she looked about the dark and empty room, hurrying to fix her clothes to make herself presentable.  Her act was followed by an older man’s voice seeming to compliment her on what she was putting away.  A scowl held on her features now as she grabbed the closest heavy object and swung it around in a threatening manner.  It took longer than she cared to admit to drop her defenses and realizing that again she was alone in the darkened room and had been for some time now.  Her schedule had been cleared for the rest of the afternoon, no one was expecting anything of her.  She walked over to the door and peered out from around the drawn curtain.  The college looked as impressive as ever, and in her eyes the establishment peered to her in return, judgmental and unforgiving.  No matter how hard she tried, work was always just over her shoulder reminding her that she couldn’t do everything that she wanted to do.

The more she looked out at it the more it seemed to call out to her, before she really understood what was going on she had crossed the empty street and up the hollow pathway that lead to the entrance.  The ringing grew louder as she stepped closer to the building and yet there was no students running from the building.  There was no one around that she could see, and only the tolling bell kept the silence at bay.  It crept closer, lurking in between each ring, she could feel it’s grasp tightening around her ankles before the tonal sound shook them away.  Whatever the feeling was, it wasn’t natural, something or many things were not right about this place.  Breaking into a run now she watched as the doors grew taller, looming over her and opening slowly before she even got to them.  Without questioning the matter she ran through the doorway, tripping and falling face first on the floor.  As she pushed herself up and tried to get her bearings she notice motion underneath her, the ground had started to move and pull her along into the abyss.

********

What had once been empty was now full of life.  A hectic path that had them tripping and falling as they attempted to maintain a sure footing.  The very ground beneath them had started to speed forward.  The three of them had found themselves caught up in a river of people, carried along by the ground through twists and turns.  They sat unmoving but as each one of them stared into the hazy eyes of the passengers they felt an eerie level of familiarity.

“Who are you, where am I?”  The three voices called out in unison to hear only the reverberations echo out in the hollow tracks.  The details of the surrounding structure began to blur, the school walls that had once been a solid foundation suddenly took on a new prison like appearance.

Pushing through the crowd of people, more like trees in their unforgiving nature as the three pulled and pried to get closer to the front.  If there were any answers to be had surely they would be there.  As she pressed in, she began to jostle the attention of several of the commuters.  Many of them just staring, the ones that did respond seemed to only speak in a gibberish that she had no recollection of.  The only thing that she was sure of was that it sounded good, flowing from the lips of the handsome stranger.  There was a light growing in the distance, that cast all of the passengers in a bright halo glow.

Hands reached out and sought to put her back into formation.  When she turned and got a better look at what progress she had made, a sea of all shapes and sizes were on display for her. No matter how obscure the faces were or how different shapes were there was always a sense of recognition that she clung, her last rung of sanity before she would be swallowed by the infinite obstacles that enclosed around her.  Obstacles, not people, their forms might have been humanoid but that was where the definition ended.  Looking up at their heads was like looking into carnival mirrors.

Like strange and twisted versions of themselves, panic crossed over their distinct features and the three of them started struggling to get away from the end they had once longed.  They weren’t ready to embrace it, they weren’t ready for it to end.  Teen, teacher, women all pushed aside all that they came across just for the seconds they spared.  Each step in the wrong direction only caused the ground to speed up.  The light was fast approaching and there was no way off, each closed their eyes tightly.  The movement of the ground suddenly shifted, now absent beneath their feet they were falling along with every mimic body.  An abyss of light and occasional motion from all sides that grew closer after each forced breath.  Devoid of sound save for a heartbeat, and soon not even that.

*****

Hunched over a desk a man sits taking labored and lethargic breaths just out of muscle memory with no enthusiasm for sustained life.  Around him a modest home, with the bustle of life that pays him no mind.  The clocks tick inexorably forward without his notice, not even a flick of an ear.  A family that had once huddled around him now tended to other things, forgetting the hardships they had to endure for the hunched man.  The only sign of attentiveness he gives is through a stack of paper that was placed under his hand.  A pen works across it, writing symbols of an unintelligible language to fill each page.  Shifting the completed work to another stack in order, but now the papers had run out, and in just a few more carvings he would be finished.

A masterpiece opening to an audience of one, with no reaction to signify the grand importance placed upon it.  A smile had crept over his haggard features, a hand moving to lovingly stroke along the finished pile of pages.  Shakily turning his head seeking out those that he remembered to find only emptiness and despair.  The apartment seemed to age before his eyes, every blink sending him further and further into the future at a rapid pace.  Anxiety crept over him, a cold sweat forming on his features while his body seemed to collapse in on itself.  Fear read plainly on his face, fear and regret.  He tried to push up from the desk but his wrists seemed shackled by time to the crumbling frame.

He leaned back, pain shooting throughout his form as forgotten muscles strained against the feat his mind had set out.  Rewarded with a brief glimpse of his surroundings before his head toppled back, his neck unable to support the weight.  It was in that moment that the familiar setting however decayed vanished, like a curtain over his eyes torn away to reveal his prize.  A writhing abyss glistened in his sight, completely surrounding the man and his bastion of a desk.  Soon even that had been stripped away, papers fluttering in the air before being snatched up by numerous appendages.of unknown origins.

The massive moving being spread out in every direction he could see, and soon a deep rumbling laughter encompassed the world he was in.  There was no escaping it’s presence even as his eyes closed tight he could see the movements in the space of shadows under his eyelids.  His body shivered with even greater intensity at the prospect if such a being.  A new feeling took over, pain, enough that his eyes shot open, from this new position he watched as his arms were lifted up outside of his control and waved back and forth before him.  The laughter returned as he watched the limbs dry up and shrivel away.  Each bit of skin flaking into nothing, swallowed by the abyss that merely laughed back at his pained cries.

“Living many lives takes its toll.  There will always be the one to collect.  It’s a shame that you did not choose this life.”

If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?  If you stop believing will you still be around?

Better to be selfless or selfish?  To strengthen our own concept of self to hardened steel.  Or to give it out to enough people to hold it up.  For what if tomorrow you wake to find that your name is no longer on anyone’s mind.

Does a footprint require a foot, or just others to observe and look.  Ever felt like you weren't there, just floating about throughout the day.  A day when your anchor isn’t as strong, to the reality we take for granted.

Are these words really here?  Or are they just a symbol of that craving.  If these are here, then you are reading them, you are here existing.

A simple concept in all, we are therefore we are.  But in these spaces I keep writing, do the stories keep telling.  If I stop and just resign, hat will be there for your mind.  Free falling into dust, that’s why we needs us.

Go ahead and whisper to yourself, that you are still remaining.  Try not to think that there are times that even shouts go unanswered and leave only silence hanging.

Pictures can be solid proof, the ones we admit to.  But even then we look at some and don’t recall, or don’t think they look like us at all.  Fragmenting, further and further down, just to curl your toes in the ground.

Warmth and touch they make you smile, just cling on for awhile.  There we sit and witness to, someone or many that know you.  They can bring tears to your eyes, and that is when you recognize.  With or without, our anchors sway with chains too short to reach the bottom.  Time is a blur, hearts are racing.  Search for those tethers to remember.

You still exist, you are real.  These words are read.  Repeat, repeat them if you must.  If darkness swarms about you.  For if you falter hold them close, they will keep trust.  Yourself floating in this space with the rest of us.

As I sit huddled here, curled up in my writing chair.  Sitting still for as long as I can, never able to find comfort.  Wanting to be alone with my thoughts, is when they come, those thundering knocks.  Pounding upon my wooden door, so loud that I don’t feel I could sleep forever more.  There is no sound, just the knocks, held back by only the simplest of locks.  I sit and rock, back and forth.  Wondering should I shout until I grow hoarse.  Yet I do not know if they really be, or if they are only heard by me.  For when it comes, I’m all alone, sitting, tapping, thinking.  If I call, and admit I hear, will that mean they’ll come near.  Like the footsteps I imagine, chasing down the hall.  Though I stare back to that blackness, nothing ever does appear.  In my mind I know it happens, I can feel the shaking there.  As the thunder grows more rapid, how can I react other than stare.

Every time I start to focus, that is when they come to the loudest.  Shaking the walls until they close in, banging, crashing all around.  I rock back and forth to keep my gaze ahead.  Watching the cursor blink, watching the letters appear.  Is it fooled to think that I don’t know if it's here.  No, all in my mind, someone would have noticed by now should it be so inclined.  It is persuasive in it’s aggression, a sound with desires all it’s own.  I close my eyes tightly, and watch the sound bouncing around the empty space behind my lids.

Always hounding, always chasing, even as my pace will quicken.  That is how it knows I’m here, how it knows to strike my heart with fear.  I cling to the simple locks in hopes that one day it will banish those knocks.  For if it’s opened they will surely get in, and then my fear might truly end.  I can barely breathe within this prison, just forced to sit and listen.  No music, no thoughts can drown out the noise of thunderous uproarious and bellowing blows.  I can show no pain, no matter how hard it hits my head, it’s not real, it’s just in my head.

There is no more of this I can bare, sitting and just staring there.  At the door as it groans in pain, or is it mine, all in vain.  The footsteps nearer now than ever before, and the knocking just outside the door.  My writing done, my body tired, all I can do is smile.  As I sit there, standing still, reaching out with all my will.  It is real enough for me, I have made it so and now we will see.  Twisting and turning those simple locks, and pulling back slowly still.  I look up and see that it is only me.  The knocking stops with no door to pound upon, and for a moment in silence, I look for signs of violence.  Seeing none I start to laugh, and watch as steps come to clash.  Again like thunder they round the corner.

An annoying sound and incessant flapping, I can count them while I’m napping.  If I told them once I said it again, but here I am awaiting a friend.  Sitting silent only creaking, the only movement of mine blinking.  Staring in circles, slowly breathing, warmth around and within.  Did I choose this precarious perch, or was it sent to me unaware.  I wonder still, if I’m smiling or if I’m just blankly staring.

There and now, a gentle rocking too annoying for my blocking.  Flying circles and ever present flapping, give way to a subtle clapping.  Still I hear the movement going, brushing away the chiding smile.  Standing above me, clear and bare, one I wish was not there.  Rocking back and forth to shake my vision, I can’t help but wonder about my prison.

Dripping stone and broken wood, all about me if I only could.  Wield a weapon, swing with measure, give my life worth of treasure.  Yet I stay completely still, maybe just lacking will, watching flapping and hearing clapping not even knowing if I’m smiling.  Let’s focus on some colors, blacks and grays and blinding lights, looking away to grimy whites.

Weightless or listless it’s hard to tell, there is no pressure there is nothing to tell.  Sitting staring as warmth grows cold, this gentle rocking getting old.  Staring at the flapping and hearing snarling, finding a sudden odor quite appalling.  Familiar in almost every way, yet distinct in how it makes things stay.  All this commotion over me is hardly something that I see.  Whites distracting, darkened marks remind me of a modern art.  Such a strange taste, an addled mind, to enjoy such a display.  However difficult pushing forward was, it remains my path with no regrets.

Rocking turns more to shaking and quizzically I feel no aching.  From here I’d laugh at all that jeering, spit in the face of the one that’s leering.  For up there they cling and clamor, but still, to me they look to stand on.  Do your worst, do what your able, it matters not in this fable.  Insults and claim with all your might, yet you are still trapped here in this light.  Staring down and just as silent, I wait to see what comes in twilight.

“Ahh, I see after all this time you have finally been able to infiltrate our walls.  I’m sure you would call it cosmic guidance, yet I fearfully must inform you that it is not a kind hand that revealed the path.  Though I’d still have to be more specific.”  A devilish grin grew along the lips of the man sitting upon his throne, a shade to his silhouette revealing only the barest of recognizable facial features.  The target of his crooning was a man being dragged forward on his knees, hands clutching together over his chest.

“I hope we are all you pictured.  All that you had hoped and asked to find.  That we are your prayers answered.”  The words brought out a laughter that seemed hard to place, the man strained to ignore the mocking and even looked defiantly back at his captor.

“You are behind this, all these vile implements.”

“Hardly.  If we were there would be no need for the copies.  Those are made merely on the dreams of what we offer.  They did that all their own.”  Another pause for laughter this time the man flicked his head around, feeling the warm draw of something across his neck.

“Devout and stubborn are virtually synonymous terms.  You squabble with each other about which blind figure to reach for.”  The figure slid from his throne and moved with surreal grace to stand before the man.  “Let me hear those words.  Reach for them, the ones that hide behind their masks.”  His hands came up and slipped in front of his face, covering it completely.  The next voices came out louder than before, dripping with venom.  “The ones that curl and retreat at your wishes.”  His pinkie fingers snapped back, curling in on themselves.  “Creating specks of dirt of a universe where you are little more than infinitesimally useless flies, buzzing about.”  His ring fingers curled next, revealing the glowing eyes beset into an unfamiliar landscape.  “You are special, and you have purpose.  I will grant you a taste of paradise.  Embrace nirvana.”  The rest of his fingers curled away, revealing an abyss behind them teeming with life.  Ancient, and as the world started turning again, the man collapsed to the ground with his beads clattering in front of him.

The man awoke in a nondescript living room, designed and furnished seemingly to portray that life was here and not by loving hands.  A terrible headache spiking in waves of pain as his senses tried to adjust to his surroundings.  It was then that he confirmed he was not alone, the bodies of several close to him were haphazardly placed on the furniture.  Awkwardly sitting up and staring off into the distance.  He pat his pockets and realized that he had nothing with him save for the clothes that had been on his back.  Another pain as he recalled the events that had took place some time ago, and then laughter came from the silence.

“Finally come around that’s good, we didn’t want you indecent for this event.”  The man tried to respond to the chiding voice but as his mouth opened sound wasn’t produced from it.  He was speaking but it sounded far away, as if he was talking to himself from down the hall.  After an unknown amount of time expressing anger in it’s futility the voice came through again.  “Welcome to, Life.  Least that’s what I wanted to call it, still a work in progress.”  Each word seemed to be coming from a different unseen source with pitch and volume shifting side to side.  Distortion in it even as if it was looped on reverse, the man looked around confused and stumbled to a door that refused to open.  He then scrambled over to the others in the room, searching through their pockets to see what they had on them.  The act brought another laugh to come from the darkness, high pitched and grinding.

“Amusing.”  The word stretched into minutes of sound and wrapped about his head as if smothering him.  Sending him down to the couch hard.  He could feel his heartbeat racing, a cold sweat building on his skin, a pain in his chest by each unstoppable hammering thump of his heart within the prison of his chest.  The veins in his arms lit up with a neon blue and he knew what had to be happening.

“You have poisoned me.”  He stated with a resigned thud to trail off his sentence, followed swiftly by his body against the couch beside the faceless man.  His fingers trailed along the veins that cascaded in neon color, pressing on them as if he could halt the progress.

“Interesting choice of words.”  The voice came from beside him, snapping his gaze in the direction he noticed the faceless man had turned to stare in his direction.  “Poison is something that degrades a being, breaks them down until they feel worthless with nowhere to turn.  I even went to great lengths to insure you had familiar faces beside you.  I couldn’t help but spy back on you as you did me.”

A lump caught in his throat as he realized that the faceless individuals had to be the members he had set about this quest with.  The room began to twist and contort around him, causing him to grip the couch for fear of falling off.  The others staying perfectly still throughout the commotion, the only change as things settled for him was now each figure looked to be staring at him.  Their veins glowing similar neon colors to match the room, now spreading across their faces.  Even featureless he could see beneath the skin, the muscles contort in pain as each line coalesced into a single point on their forehead and emitted a beam of light far and above them.

His head fell back to try and grasp the end of the light and noticed now for the first time there was no ceiling above them, just a dark abyss with points of lights in what must have been stars.  “Your lambs have been led to pasture.”  The voice came from behind him but he lacked the strength to move.  The hands with those long, broken fingers slid along his jaw and moved his head to look at each figure.  “Now, for the real secret, shhhhh.”  A cruel shushing sound as he was manipulated back into looking up at the void.  The beams of neon drifted up until his eyes failed to separate them from the overwhelming darkness.  Then, like ink dripping down a pole the light was swallowed up.

Extending from the darkness were large root like fingers, twisting and grabbing at the light.  Gripping down the being from above gave a tug, lifting the writhing figure up into the air like a puppet on a string.  Another hand came from the formless void to grasp the one closest to him.  As the body lifted up a spasm sent his hand with crushing grip onto the panicking leader briefly before it was torn away by a heave from above.  Cold sweat beading on his forehead, a crawling feeling under his skin as he knew there was nothing he could do but watch as every trace of the others was swallowed up.  His chest ached, his mind knew that he was breathing hard but there was no air to be had.  The room was still, both too hot and too cold, stagnated.

Round and round I walk this well, where I’m told unspeakable evils dwell.  Walking still, path unending there is only the trail laid out before me.  I continue, solemn and stoic, to protect the others that couldn’t make it.  I hear them from time to time, laughing and celebrating their life.  Here I stay, I must remain, so that others can go on with their days. One foot in front of the other, continually, my barren path amongst the grass.  Sweat on my brow that stains my shirt, adding to the trail of dirt.  I am here, always waiting for someone in need of saving.  Keep going they cheer, I smile and wave, even as their cheers fade away.

I start to think, as I keep pacing.  When was the last time I heard an evil stirring.  Now all I hear is joy and mirth, coming from above the Earth.  I shake it free, knowing they are raising a toast to me.  A vigilant shield, one step at a time, so let it be gone from my mind.  Surely deep down where they dwell, they fear the one that always watches.  There they will stay, for the rest of my days.

When did I start my quest, how many times have I been around, the well seems to grow further away from the ground.  Lost and forgotten, yet felt on my form as it hunches forward.  The air is heavy, my pace may be slowing.  Though I have no way of knowing.  A rustle here and a whistle there, I wonder if they are beyond my care.  Walk they said, keep the peace,  I owe them that at least.

The sun grows hot again, I hate when it does so.  Even if the time of darkness is less, the sweat does not stop.  I still hear their voices in my ears, complimenting me through my tears.  Yet faces I do not see, all except the ones in the trees.  They loom and they ponder, looking over my task as it’s span grows longer.  Longer is all it can become, my circle has been drawn, etched in time.

Rains bring back new spark to my step, the splashing almost like music.  I can close my eyes and imagine it’s those chants.  My path keeps me going, with no change in direction my feet know where to go.  I forget sometimes that the sun will return, I forget the words to describe my path.  I forget faces that aren’t made of bark, and soon the colors will be only few.

My pace is slow, I don’t remember what I’m doing, only the words.  Ones that have locked me to this place, prisoner of a constant motion within a confined space.  The bars I grew myself, for my walking set them in.  Now beyond my reach and will, the sky is free to laugh at me.  Just as the rest, surely, choking on their happiness as they pass me by.  Round and round I continue to walk, fear of stopping, already slowing.