calvin

cant even bring myself to apologize

even though i know im in the wrong

no wonder people always leave

i wont be shocked when they do

too bad i have no way of just ending my shit before they drop me

that would probably be easier

the only palms to have ever cradled my face are calloused and rough, with fingertips that dig in too deep

i can close my eyes and dream of a softer touch, but my imagination has never been very strong

i am not worth your effort

i learned early not to ask for more

im the one who introduced them to each other. how can i complain when they become close?

i feel sick

theyre acting as if im not even on call with them too, or maybe im reading too much into it. thats more likely, but i dont want to believe it

im terrified of them replacing me with each other

i need to cry but i dont want to be a baby on call and my dad will kick my ass if he sees