Stones Are Nice :)

it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living

Everyone start spreading even more misinformation about me RIGHT THIS INSTANT

There are pieces of me still in the ballpit

@beidak-art i jego niezwykła, gnijąca, rozmokła, apatyczna istota 💚🖤

it was a mistake to stop burying people in the fetal position. so now i am forbidden to be cozy even in my own grave?

bring 👏 back 👏 neolithic 👏 burial 👏 rites

don't you dare bury me on my back or in itchy fancy clothing. i am a SIDE SLEEPER. put me in my coziest pajamas! wrap me in my favorite blanket! bury me with all my best STUFF

Do you ever write a sentence and then realize “Nah, that’s too self aware for you” and backspace a bunch of times.

told my coworker “they’re accusing the chivelord of chive fraud” and it turns out she doesn’t know what any of that means and i look crazy

HE CONFESSED TO THE CHIVE FRAUD

my silly little jester costume for the play I’m in is so fire you all wish you were me

no one has ever jingle jangled like I’m jingle jangling now

post cancelled they de-belled my costume for sound design reasons

Neutered

mentally taking a drag of my mental cigarette because I don’t smoke but life has been very smokable lately

For those wondering: yes, she is saying that Democrats who abandon trans rights are using fascist logic.

why should i be scared of pitballs eating toddlers? im not a toddler

Just brcause Pitbull ate a tiddler doesn't mean hes a bad dude, alright? Hes MisterWorldWide

fuck i’m trying to catch all these flies but they think my vinegar is stupid. i have honey also but that’s for me i can’t give them any of that

management trying to hire and retain employees

Didn't mean to use that picture

what's his #?

are you asking me for Jensen Ackles' number