rip twitter

I'm a hard pillow hard mattress man. I need reliability. I don't want something to change into a completely different shape when I touch it, that's lying and I don't like liars.

Imagine a bee rn in a hive muttering "the beekeeper is not real because he is not intervening or helping me at all with this disastrous relationship I have with another bee". now imagine that's you talking about the good lord. now imagine a dog with a propeller hat on

is anyone imagining a dog with a propeller hat on

okay, im "sorry" i tested my dual scythe combos/fever mode on your "smol bean" boyfriend

if its any consolation i didnt get very much exp

you can't come to my birthday party? aw dang, (remembers it's bad to guilt trip people) this doesn't matter to me at all (remembers to demonstrate that i am affected by you to affirm your positive presence in my life) but while you're away i will die (remembers not to guilt trip again) unpreventably. unrelated to you. don't worry about it. (remembers to express care through actions and not just words) you're in the will.

I think it’s normal for people to be mad at each other sometimes even if they’re close friends or family or intimate with each other. Like I think that’s a normal and healthy part of relationships that can happen sometimes

“Why were you on Mad At Me island” because at the time I was mad at you and yet our friendship has weathered that without trouble

Dealing with burnout is sooooooooooooooo easy all you need to do is operate at 40% indefinitely and be kind of mad at yourself the whole time.

I love "never kill yourself!!!" as a declaration about good news like. However it comes with the unshakeable curse of "not suitable for all group situations."

Our favorite lunch spot near the office is coming back after it closed last year and never kill y--never k--neve--yay 🙂🎉 yay fellow coworkers 🙂🎉yay my fellow coworkers I work with 🙂🎉yay Teams chat

measure once cut also once, no prablem

do you ever read goodreads reviews and realize that there are people out there approaching fiction is a diametrically different way than you

It’s so unfair i don’t get to see where evolution will go in 50 million years

I need to press his bruises like it’s his gspot