I had a lover's quarrel with the world.

how can lawyers argue without crying 

I am a lawyer and let me tell you It gets like super close dude

i love physics :)

#isnt that biology

I need a part time job that pays $20,000 per week.

so attractive when a guy is only focused on one girl

i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”

Local Man Compares Leg Hair To Cancer, Genuinely Thought It Was A Smart Argument. More At Six.

There is a Pope in the Cars universe. This means that there is Catholic Christianity, which means there was a Jesus car who was crucified. Jesus Chrysler was crucified by car Romans under Pontiac Pilot who washed his wheels. A car was nailed to a cross and ascended to Heaven.

old macdonald had ENOUGH